I ran across another “mainstream” mention of home education yesterday. The column, from Wired.com, is meant for parents who find themselves doing “emergency homeschooling” thanks to school closings. The piece itself just asks a question: if your local school closes due to swine flu and you find yourself with a child who may be home for several weeks, should you try to keep on with classroom-style education or use the time to explore new subjects and interests?
As with the Salon.com piece I wrote about a couple of weeks ago, I find this interesting not because of the content itself (I’m sympathetic to those of you who posted, below, that it would be useful to hear from parents who’ve been home schooling for more than six months) but because of the tone. It’s matter-of-fact: home schooling is an obvious educational alternative, not a weird and suspect activity. Goes towards my theory that home education is no longer, quite, a fringe movement–which is why I mentioned the Salon.com article in the first place.
At the same time, I’ve been tracking the comments on that Salon.com piece and marvelling over the vitriol directed towards home schoolers.
Quite a few of the nasty remarks are the kind that veteran home educators roll their eyes at. Really? Seriously? The whole “they won’t know how to relate to others” argument gets trotted out again? You really think that “I know a weird homeschooling family that’s not doing a great job” equals a solid refutation of the arguments for home education? (That’s the logical fallacy of insufficient statistics, by the way, also known as hasty generalization. I learned that at home.) “Most home schoolers are religious fanatics”? Oh, whatever.
But now that I’m finished with my satisfying eye-roll, let me suggest that we think, seriously, about why the topic of home education produces such extreme reactions from so many. Maybe we should start by examining ourselves.
The rhetoric of some home school organizations and many home school parents is aggravating the problem. As a whole, the homeschooling world has consciously and and consistently measured itself against “the school system” and found itself to be superior. This was natural when home education was still waaaayyy out on the fringes. We all had to be on the defensive, in the early days (I’m forty-one, by the way, and for those who don’t know, I was home educated myself. Back in the home schooling dark ages). We were told by almost everyone that because we were home educated, we wouldn’t be good enough. It was natural to retort with: We’re not just good enough. We’re better!
I submit that this has started to come back and smack us in the face. We’ve spent so much time defending our educational choice that we’ve gone on the attack. Home education organizations publish article after article about how superior home education is (and how disadvantaged all those classroom-educated kids are). Conferences tell parents that only home-schooled kids will adopt their family’s faith–all others are doomed to apostasy. Home schooled parents boast about the amazing education that their children are receiving–so unlike what their peers are subjected to.
No wonder we evoke such a strong reaction from the general public.
I think we’ve outgrown this phase. Of course we think home education is the best option for our children; otherwise we wouldn’t be doing it. Shouldn’t we have the confidence to allow our choices to speak for themselves? If we’re truly confident in our choices, we can spend our energies educating our children, protecting our legal right to do so, and even rejoicing with other parents whose children are flourishing in the classroom.
Of course, that would require us to develop an entirely new attitude towards our local school systems–say, one of helpful friendliness.
Which is a topic for a future post.
{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }
Mrs. Bauer,
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I’m finding this a fascinating discussion and it has given me much to think about. I’m really enjoying this! After I looked up “vitriol,”
I learned that I had the same reaction you did to the comments generated by the Salon.com article you linked. I was fascinated by how many folks feel SO strongly against homeschooling! In my community, by and large, folks are very supportive of homeschooling as a normal, suitable choice even if they themselves choose not to homeschool. Even my extended family has been supportive of our endeavors thus far to homeschool our children. So I’ve not been exposed to this “vitriol” before and quite honestly didn’t know it existed to such an extreme. And I agree with your idea that perhaps instead of continuing the attack/defense comparison mode, we shift to a more friendly, open-book, type of mindset that intrigues the non-homeschooler to ask questions and learn more rather than sets them to defend public schooling and lash out against homeschooling. I look forward to the continuation of the discussion!
~ KH
I have to say that I have been lucky enough to avoid strong bias against me or my son, whom I am homeschooling as long as he prefers it that way. I have seen the anger that exists, though, and am often surprised at it, especially since my daughter is still in the school system and ideally will remain there as long as possible since the atmosphere suits her better. I would love to see a mutual understanding between the public/private school setting and home schooling where both are able to respect and utilize the resources of the other without rancor. I think it would be easier on the kids in the end, too!
My son’s flute teacher asked him to join the middle school band last month, and to stay late to tutor some of her her beginning flute students while she works with the other ones, I think it is an after school program. Other than working hard at not arriving too early (and upsetting the hall monitor) it has gone fairly smoothly.
He’s helping, does that count?
It is an interesting thing to see the reactions of people to the words, “We homeschool.”
I would say that you have a keen sense to realize some feel threatened by that statement, for various reasons. It is intriguing to see some bristle to the mere informative fact, but upon receiving a (soothing) response watching their shoulders relax.
(We were military, and if we simply said we homeschooled as it fit the military lifestyle better, people would visibly “chill”.)
In our current locale, I find most people competely onboard with the idea. That took some serious getting used to.
One of the biggest surprises to me as a new homeschooler is an attitude of intolerance among many homeschooling families. There are many out there who say you must teach a particular subject or handle a particular issue ONE way…or else you are dooming your children to a life of educational (or spiritual) inferiority. I thought the homeschooling community was going to be much more inviting, celebrating the diversity of opinion yet bonding because we have a common purpose.
After reading your post, I think I get it – so many homeschoolers were put on the defensive in the past that they don’t know how to change their approach. But I wish they would. And certainly there are many families and moms out there who don’t meet the description I gave, but there are far too many that do. I’m hoping for a community that becomes more inclusive and diverse – right now, it too often resembles a high school clique (shudder) where doing things the ‘wrong’ way gets you blackballed.
This post really hits home with me. For the past 3 years, my husband – a trained engineer, has been working as a sort of technology specialist in the college of education at a medium-sized university. I also work there part-time, for now, in the same college. Even before taking that job, we’ve known that we desire to homeschool our children.
Now, my husband’s colleagues are education academics – a demographic group I imagine being quite hostile to home education. Our oldest child just turned 5, so it just hasn’t come up much yet. My husband is beginning to get the questions and comments about our son heading off to Kindergarten next year – only a handful of double-takes and comments like, “Hmm. Interesting,” so far after hearing the unexpected statement, “We’re homeschooling.”
From the beginning of our time here, I’ve known that I don’t want to use the typical arguments and tone in describing our position. We’ve spent the last three years examining ourselves and our reasons for desiring to homeschool. Actually, it has been a helpful time of reflection.
So, I’m bracing myself for next summer and fall, when it will be more widely known. Maybe no one will care and say, “Hmm. Interesting,” and get back to work. Maybe some will be curious and ask so we can offer our reasons we’ve been polishing over the years. Maybe we will have to endure some vitriol – or perhaps they’ll save it for behind our backs. It really is hard to tell at this point. We’re just hoping to conduct ourselves well so as not to do anything ourselves that will make a tense atmosphere for my husband at work.
(Warning! Wandering comments below. Can’t seem to tie them into a neat bundle today.)
Agree with many of the concepts presented above. My biggest source of conflict regarding homeschooling is from within the homeschooling community itself — we may *say* there’s lots of ways to home educate, but there’s really only a very few *acceptable* methods. Even though most outside homeschooling would consider me pretty hard to the right, I am lefty in my bubble.
Usually, if I encounter prejudice from without if I spend too much time reading the comment boxes on articles. It gets me worked up, but I don’t find myself engaging — I can’t spend my energy and emotion on people hiding behind the the other side of the intertubes. There are a few people who want to make sweeping generalizations about homeschoolers, but not about my family: “You’re one of the ‘good’ homeschoolers….”
Lack of reasoned discourse isn’t just short in the homeschool topic though. The media –mainstream and otherwise– reports on the polarization and hardening of people’s opinions even in the face of contradictory evidence. As much as I’d like to disagree, I’m finding this to be true in my own social sphere whether the topic of debate is politics, religion, homeschooling, food choices, art, whatever. (I’ve made up my mind, now don’t confuse me with facts [or even just other points of view!])
I think one of the reasons we may feel a bit defensive and perhaps insecure at times is the same reason parents in general feel insecure and defensive. It is all too easy to look around and quietly shake our heads when we view others and think they’re parenting the wrong way. We’ve all seen others in public with children who are having a horrible day and tired, frustrated parents at their wits end trying to cope. It is so hard not to judge. Parenting is a daunting task without throwing the education of our children into the mix. We work, pray, and struggle day after day – year after year – trying to teach and mold our children into productive adults. It is a long process and the results take a long time to tally. When we also decide to take the full responsiblility to educate our children at home – WOW what a daunting burden. I, for one, often worry if I’m doing enough or providing them with the best, etc., etc. When will I know if I’ve succeeded or not? Will it be too late to do anything if I haven’t?
I know I’m tired of having extended family refer to me as “One of the few who is homeschooling the way it should be done.” Do they know the many who are homeschooling the way it shouldn’t be done??? Are they even at my house seeing me homeschool my four kids?? Just as there is obviously no one way to parent, there certainly isn’t one way to homeschool (Well – maybe the Well-Trained Mind way!) Perhaps we all just need to be a little more supportive and a little less judgmental.
Are there homeschool horror stories? Yes. Are there public school horror stories? Yes. But there are also fabulous success stories from both as well.
From down here in the trenches I just want to say I have a huge amount of respect and admiration for those of you doing your best to educate your kids at home. I personally know it isn’t easy and hope with all my heart that someday we’ll all know it was worth it!
If we look at history (and what better site to do this than on Susan Wise Bauer’s site) we know that any group who challenges the status quo faces opposition from the majority, and risks being called uninformed, misguided, or worse yet, irrational. The response is reasonably defensive. There will always be the “N of one” phenomenom in which people who have only tangential knowledge of a subject will repond to the one interaction they have had with that subject (ie. I know one hs family and they are crazy therefore all hs are crazy” etc.) Might we be able to learn how to improve our attitude and the way we in which we convey ourselves to non-hs families by expanding our viewpoint to the historical, and not necessarily narrowly related to homeschooling? How have people dealt with being a minority in the past? What has worked and what has not? It’s important to work for acceptance and rights, legal and otherwise. How have minority groups in the past succeeded in doing this? From there we could then apply these principles to homeschooling…
Thank you!
I was so pleased to read this (which sounds odd, I know). I’m just in the research phase of my homeschooling adventure–hoping to start next fall. But, I’ve been noticing this myself in comments, on lists, in others I’ve discussed homeschooling with and, in truth, it both annoyed me and freaked me out–just a tiny bit.
So far in my observations, I’ve found that the crossfire of insults misses the point that all parents love and want the best for their children and we all are at least attempting to do the best we can for them–as we do in all things. Still, from the homeschool front, I’ve often seen more than just hints of superiority and from the non-homeschool “opposition,” derision; clear defensiveness, yes; and, oddly, anger. The first two, I sorta get even if I don’t agree with them. Some folks are just mean or who knows what and must always think the way someone else does anything is bad/wrong/stupid/evil. The defenders are worried about competition; they fear they themselves might be falling short as parents or they fear for their children competing against the homeschooled in the future and them possibly falling short. But it’s the angry ones…They seem to be angry on behalf of _your_ children for what you’re doing to/forcing on them. And whatever it is that’s happening they’re convinced it is bad. It’s these folks I’m not sure I get, but I’m trying.
Allow me a bit of meandering here. I met much the same lines of attack when I was raising my child as a vegetarian. Both well-meaning family and friends and also complete strangers would gently say,
“Well, aren’t you worried that you’re forcing your choice on him?” Then–and now–it seemed an absurd thing to say and, usually, I could immediately convince them of this.
“Every day you make a choice for your child, you’re forcing that choice on him/her. Food, school, religion, clothes, culture, whether you live in the city or country…Forcing your child to eat biscuits is fully objectionable to some.” (Of course, I’d mention the last part only to biscuit eaters to illustrate my point. I’d also point out to anyone that all they need to know he’s healthy is to just look at him.) Almost always, they’d blush a little and say something like,”Oh my. You’re right. I get it. I’m sorry.” They’d usually acknowledge that this was an obvious point I’d just made and I’d tell them it was no big deal and that I only planned on “forcing my choice” on him until he could make his own informed choices about what he’d like to eat. To them, my choices were weird, but, they got that he wasn’t being hurt, malnourished, or wouldn’t be forced to live a life he objected to. The end. (Now, why they’d suppose I didn’t have my child’s best interests in mind and they did, I still don’t quite understand, but, that’s another topic.)
Sure, the food choices made for a child seem absolutely trivial compared to the way a child is educated. But, they do have other things in common. Primarily, these choices for our children are obvious to others and these choices are outside the norm. Other parents make/force all sorts of choices, but these don’t seem so apparent to everyone or so “odd.” The unknown or unfamiliar are often an affront and folks are put on edge by these unknowns.
What I’ve been thinking would help is the “just look at him” approach. This, I’ve seen almost none of (barring this post), the true perspective of the homeschooled–not the parents’ declarations of what their children think. Maybe I haven’t been looking in the right places (if so, please, please tell me where I can find more of this), but I’ve not seen much information about homeschooling from those most affected by it. I don’t think they need to defend themselves, that’s for sure, but, I’d like to simply hear what they think, what they liked, what they didn’t. Selfishly, I’d like a bit of a fast-forward in my own child’s life to hear that this is a good choice for him. Others, I think, would like to know that they “turned out okay” and are capable of having a conversation without running away or turning into a puddle of unsocialized goo [that's what happens, right? when you're not socialized in a school? despite (already) being tired of the "socialization issue," no one seems to be able to tell me the horror of out-of-school socialization so I assumed it was goo-related].
I’d like to hear of those who started out homeschooled and ended up in a typical school and vice-versa. I’d like to hear of those that have never set foot in a school. How about those that were always homeschooled until they made the choice to go to a typical school and then left again? I’ve seen a lot of things parents have said about how much their children like homeschooling, but I’ve not seen/heard anything straight from the source. I’ve heard lots and lots of “I went to public school and I turned out alright” in my years of parenting, let’s hear more “I was educated at home and I turned out alright.”
And, lets also remember that if it’s to be done, it’s not done to defend or attack, but simply to spread knowledge so that there’d be no more fear or anger of this particular unknown.
Salon.com articles/readers seem to be reactionary-left-of-center, at least during the dozen or so times I’ve read things from the site. Which is not necessarily that important, other than it helps to explain (perhaps) some of the vitriol, as most people from that viewpoint fear anything they think smacks of the Christian Right.
Susan, I was glad to see your comment(s) about homeschoolers needing to adopt a new, less-defensive, less-superior attitude toward public school. However, I think this is about as likely to happen as a group-hug-Rodney-King-moment between moderate and conservative Republicans.
For instance, a lot of people follow Andrew Pudewa (Institute for Excellence in Writing, for those who don’t know). In his Spring 2009 newsletter, he states “…our children are the most important in the nation; our children can and must be ready to lead their clueless peers through the coming crises…” I thought… REALLY? Homeschooled children are the “most important in the nation”? And all the children from all other educational methods/institutions all over this enormous country will be forever “clueless”? How arrogant is it possible to be?
In my local homeschool group, there are children (and more than a few) who are over-sexualized, practically illiterate, sneaky in manner, shallow, etc. And I know a number of public schooled kids who have a lot on the ball. It ‘taint so simple.
I would love for this “painting the other side with an enormous black brush” to end. And wouldn’t it be nice if homeschoolers would be the first to take the high road?
Lead the way, Susan! A few of us, at least, will be glad to take up the road behind you.
I agree. I can understand how home schooling had to be defended so vigorously 30 years ago and am so thankful to have the legal right spelled out because of those pioneers. Now we can more easily focus on the task of educating our children in the way we think best and possibly even find a good support group or two. The superior attitude gets old, however. I do my best to answer questions about what we do in a way that does not downplay any other choices.
Something related that bugs me in homeschooling circles is the attitude that homeschooling must be better than public school simply because it’s done at home by a parent. Obviously, I think that it can provide a better education, otherwise we wouldn’t be doing it with our kids. But I can imagine many scenarios where it wouldn’t be best for our family or where it might be better for one of our kids to be in public/private school while the others are home schooled. I think often home schoolers do come across as thinking that it doesn’t really matter what they do because just the simple act of home schooling will somehow cancel out any other faults. I think the homeschool community does not want to admit that homeschooling can be done badly, and that sometimes public/private school is a better option for certain families or kids or in certain situations.
Maureen, Moira, and others have stolen some of my thunder. A parent’s defensive shield automatically goes up whenever s/he believes someone is being critical of the child or the parenting. Homeschoolers naturally get defensive when a publicschooler or privateschooler makes a critical comment. It works in reverse, too. In fact, a simple statement about a parenting choice that differs from someone else’s approach can be “felt” as criticism. If you mention that your child is not receiving a H1N1 vaccine to someone who has decided that his/her child WILL receive it, you may find yourself in a battle to the death.
Parenting may be the only role in life that doesn’t offer some type of adequate feedback. If I’m a business owner, I can compare this year’s results to last year’s. If I’m an employee, I receive an annual performance review. If I’m a writer, I can see my Amazon rating. If I’m a parent…hang around 20 years to see if this child becomes a mature adult. The interim feedback can be unsettling: the son who was creating a beautiful Lego structure with his little brother 10 minutes ago has now locked horns with the same sibling over THE toy that both of them MUST play with NOW. All is lost; I’ve failed miserably. Wait, they’ve worked it out ON THEIR OWN! Rejoice, we have two future diplomats!
Actually, it simply is a parent who hopes he makes more right decisions than wrong decisions and that the wrong decisions can be offset with a healthy dose of unconditional love.
I lent my copy of TWTM to the high school principal to read. Does that count?
Generally, it is the school system being friendly and helpful to me, rather than the other way around, though. They had both the school and the homeschooling SAT code up on the blackboard when my son went in to take the SAT. I thought that was very thoughtful of them. And they just sent me a letter telling me that they had subscribed to a college search program and I was welcome to use it. I guess we are lucky where we live.
I have met people who were suspicious about homeschooling, but when I explain that we homeschool because my children don’t happen to learn well in school, that it is hard work and we follow the school schedule, that we can take subjects like chemistry at the high school or community college, that I remember my algebra enough to teach it, that my children have friends, and that they are with children every day doing scouts or gymnastics or church, they are reassured. The ones I’ve encountered are just worried that I am neglecting my children’s education. I think it is probably a good thing that people are worried about children, all children, and need to be reassured that I am not hurting mine in any way. I think our children themselves will be the best ambassadors, especially as they graduate from college and are more visible. People are usually reassured if they take the time to speak with mine and hear about what they themselves have to say about homeschooling. Even just the fact that they like doing their learning at home with me seems to sooth some of the fears, and when they hear about what they are reading and what they are doing for math, they usually come back to me and tell me how lucky I am to have such great kids. I do not point out that homeschooling has a lot to do with that because I hope that it doesn’t. My oldest went to public school and people also seem to like him.
I’ve always taken the approach of giving the school system more information than they ask for, in the hope that then they won’t need to ask more questions. The few other homeschoolers in our small town also have taken this approach. Maybe that is why we have a good relationship with the school? I’ve often seen the advice not to give any more information than is legally required, but I don’t think this helps calm worries or create friendliness or a willingness to be helpful.
-Nan
“Of course, that would require us to develop an entirely new attitude towards our local school systems–say, one of helpful friendliness.”
I completely agree. I think friendliness and, with that, an attitude of humility can go a long way!!!
It’s so interesting to read both this post and the comments. I went to public school (through college) and I’m a teacher and have taught in both public and private schools. I have children who are not yet school-age, but my husband and I are thinking very seriously about what we want to do regarding school. I love the idea of homeschooling, but I don’t know if it would be the best fit for the combination of my personality and the personalities of my children. As a classroom teacher I see the wasted time in school, and that’s not a commentary on anything except once you get a bunch of different people trying to all do the same thing, it’s just not going to always go smoothly. So I love the idea of how efficiently time can be spent while homeschooling, plus all of the interesting things you can do to tailor the education to the child’s interests and strengths, the extra time you can spend on things in which your child is not gifted, and all of the field trips you can take.
What I find most interesting about the post and comments is how homeschoolers feel like they have to be on the defensive, when, as a Christian who might not homeschool, I am already preparing for being on the defensive as to why I would subject my child to a classroom setting. We are part of a seminary community right now and many of the school-aged children are homeschooled. We have heard horror stories from pastors who chose to send their children to public schools and the battles they fought with some in their congregations. There seems to be an undercurrent, at least in my experience, within the evangelical church that to educate your children well and not let them be, for lack of a better word, infected by the public schools you should homeschool or, at the very least, send them to a private Christian school. Maybe I’m just projecting my own insecurities onto the situation, but I feel like there’s some sort of competition involved between the ones who are able to handle the homeschool lifestyle and those who feel like it would send them over the edge of sanity.
Anyway, all that is to say that I think people on both sides of this issue feel the need to be defensive because, as people have already pointed out, there is no manual on parenting and we all want what is best for our children, for ourselves, and for our families.
Me again.
I felt I just must share this video as part of this “conversation” we’re having. TED is fantastic for a number of reasons (check out many of their other talks) and I forgot I’d seen this years ago so was happy to see CNN remind me today.
Not only is this an immensely entertaining talk–quite funny–but also thought provoking. Ignore for a moment the title, “How schools stifle creativity” as the point is truly not school bashing, but a bit more general discussion. But, the first five minutes of the lecture seem to speak to the discussion we’re having. And, of course, the rest of it is worth watching and considering no matter a child’s educational environment.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/OPINION/11/03/robinson.schools.stifle.creativity/index.html
Thank you Susan for this post. I enjoyed being at your conference in May so much, by the way. One thing that had been bothering me was that my children weren’t really turning out too much different than their friends that attend private and public school. Surely I was a failure. My children are social, athletic, friendly and technologically plugged in to the lastest trend. Not what I was told would happen!!
My husband is a pastor at a church with us, a couple of other homeschooling families and hundreds of families that choose to send their children to institutions for education. Gasp! What I have found is my children are very adaptable without falling into peer pressure. They don’t have a certain set of friends so they are free to be friends with anyone, regardless of what school they attend, who their teacher is, etc. They are just very friendly.
Your post really solidifies my thoughts, that home eduaction is one of many good choices. Only the individual family can determine what is right for them so why should I spend my time bashing others. Besides, I’m reassessing whether we can make it through lunch somedays. Just kidding.
Serious thought should be given by home eduators in two areas. First, how does the public perceive us based upon our words and actions? Do we take education of our children seriously or are we always complaining and grumbling?
Second, do we portray our choice as the elite one, or one of many? I think some pretty amazing children come from every conceivable educatonal and family environment. We should feel confident in our choice and leave everyone else to make their own decision.
Just my $.02.
We live on a street where we’re the only homeschoolers; the only reactions we’ve gotten from our neighbors are:
1) “But your kids are so well-behaved!”
2) “I could never do what you do.” (what do you say to that? I just say, “Well, each family does what works for them.”)
Today we packed up our schoolbooks and did our morning lessons at a library here on our military base; this is the first time I’ve dared to go somewhere “public” to homeschool. I was ready to be challenged: “Why aren’t your kids in school?” (My ready retort: “Well, they are, actually.”) As it happened, nobody questioned why my obviously school age child was there at the library. My husband pointed out that many military families do homeschool; it’s easier than changing schools every two or three years with new base postings. So probably the librarians are accustomed to homeschoolers. Or they figured it wasn’t their business.
I have a good friend who is seriously considering homeschooling, mostly as a reaction to her daughter’s bad experiences in their current school. She calls me often for advice and guidance. I always give her the disclaimer: “I think homeschooling is best. Mainly because it has been working for our family for the past five years. So I’m always going to give you advice through my filter, which is: Homeschooling should be the default setting, schools are there for families who can’t make homeschooling work no matter what.”
Another thought I had, while talking to my friend. She is getting a lot of discouragement from a relative, who brings up all the “reasons” why homeschooling isn’t a good idea. I have always found that usually people who react negatively to parenting decisions of others are usually reacting out of defensiveness. The parents I’ve met who are negative about our homeschooling are likely feeling defensive about their decision to public school, for whatever reasons. Some people will always see decisions they see as “outside the box” as a kind of judgement on their own mainstream decisions. Kind of like people who get defensive about vegetarianism, or whatever. If they’re not doing it, and we are, they assume we think they SHOULD be doing it.
So the next time we come up against those who are negative about our decision to homeschool, perhaps we can remember that they’re most likely reacting that way because THEY are having issues in their own realm, not because they honestly know what our lives are like, or why we made the decisions we made.
I think you are right. Most people who have discussed homeschooling with me want to explain to me why they don’t homeschool. I can see that they think in an ideal world they would be homeschooling. I hear about the sick parents or lack of patience or forgotten math. The people who are sure I am doing the wrong thing tend very politely to avoid discussing it. Perhaps it is the infamous small town New England reserve or perhaps I’ve just been lucky, but so far I haven’t had to deal with any of the ones who react strongly to homeschooling because they can’t bear the idea that they or their children might have suffered through public school for naught. The ones who were happy enough in public school, or at least not frightfully unhappy, usually are just mildy interested in whether homeschooling is legal and whether you can still go to college. They know public school doesn’t work for some children and are happy there is an alternative and relieved they don’t need it. Or they feel mildly guilty because they can see some of the advantages of homeschooling. It is all mild reactions, though, not strong ones.
I think it is sad.
-Nan
Oh my word, Moira! I too had seen Sir Ken Robinson’s talk a few years ago (while I was getting my Master’s in Elementary Ed – it was shown during a class, believe it or not)…his talk added to a gently percolating idea of homeschooling that I was already having by then.
Now I just want to copy his commentary (reflecting on how immensely popular his talk has been) and hand it to people who want to know why we homeschool. It says everything I want to say, only 1,000 times more succinctly.
To end, I quote from Sir Ken “… the dominant systems of education are rooted in the values and demands of industrialism: they are linear, mechanistic and focused on conformity and standardization….Education is about developing human beings, and human development is not mechanical or linear. It is organic and dynamic. Like all living forms, we flourish in certain conditions and shrivel in others. Great teachers, great parents and great leaders understand those conditions intuitively; poor ones don’t. The answer is not to standardize education, but to personalize and customize it to the needs of each child and community. There is no alternative. There never was.”
Please, Lord, when I die & assuming I go to heaven, can I please have a brain that thinks like Sir Ken’s???? One that can capture and re-frame an argument so that it ceases to be an argument and instead becomes a vision? Sigh. To dream………..
So good. So true. Let’s stop playing king of the hill. Great stuff, Susan!
“Home education organizations publish article after article about how superior home education is (and how disadvantaged all those classroom-educated kids are). Conferences tell parents that only home-schooled kids will adopt their family’s faith–all others are doomed to apostasy. Home schooled parents boast about the amazing education that their children are receiving–so unlike what their peers are subjected to.”
Well, I’ll speak up here to the contrary … and from my unapologetically evangelical Christian perspective.
I do believe that home education is superior to the peer-segregated, state-system. I do believe relying on the secular government/state to educate our Christian children puts them at a dangerous worldview “disadvantage.” (Jesus was not handed over to the Romans to be educated by their secular humanist system, either. I don’t understand why we think our kids should be the exception to His example? Maybe we’ve evolved societally and our kids can handle it better than HE would have? I hardly think so).
Statistics resoundingly indicate that the overwhelming majority of Christian kids/young adults are simply *not* choosing the faith of their parents (I guess we could call that apostasy, although I wouldn’t have used that word). And I do happen to attribute *some* of this widespread faith crisis to the 30+ hours a week of secular/anti-Christian dogma espoused by the massive “state system,” its textbook, its huge budgets, its John Dewey Soviet-style ideals … complete with left-wing unions, to boot.
And I unapologetically delight in reading the articles and statistics that celebrate the homeschooling successes. They’re inspiring on dreary homeschooling days in April! Love ‘em. I rejoice with fellow homeschooling parents when their kids flourish.
Frankly, I don’t particularly care what kind of reaction the general public has to me, my educational/parenting views, or my children. I care about the Lord’s reaction to me, and I care about faithful, biblical stewardship of my children. And I’m not about to take any sort of responsibility for “evoking” a strong reaction from the general public. Nor am I about to “examine” my views and their impact. This is laughable to me.
We’re grown-ups. I’m sure the “general public” can handle the difference of opinion. Just like I’ve learned to handle the comments, questions, concerns, objections, and even sometimes, the vitriol … with a smile, over the past 10 years.
I mean this is still America, isn’t it? And we are Americans: the people on the planet who are historically known to *welcome* the debate, the discourse, and even the disagreement … and move on (!) without having to psychologically analyze how the difference in opinion made everyone “feel” and “react;” … without having my “choices speak for themselves” because someone might be offended or uncomfortable. I choose to speak with clarity and confidence, just as I am teaching my children to, using the tools of logic, debate, speech and rhetoric.
I’m tired of the post-modern obsession with “niceness” (read: helpful friendliness).
It’s the new “black.”
And I would assert it RINGS of the same superiority, decried in Susan’s blog entry. I mean aren’t we so … just so confidently cosmopolitan when we tolerantly affirm “everyone’s” views and choices (including educational ones).
Here’s what I can unabashedly affirm: kindness in our interactions with everyone. Absolutely! (How about even the Fruit of the Spirit, if possible).
But in my unwavering affirmation of inherently Christian education/discipleship of my children, it would be disingenuous of me to quieten my convictions so as not to offend those choosing a system I truly believe does much educational and spiritual damage to so many.
Helpful friendliness (as a former Teacher Ed major, myself) in dealing with idealogues purporting a Prussian-inspired system: Naiveté.
I’m really too busy educating my kids, protecting our collective legal (civil) rights, and working to pay my taxes (that’s MY version of helpful friendliness to the massive state system).
And in my state, where they have $14k per head a year, I’m sure someone there can figure their problems out without my friendly “help.”
I have to agree. While I might state it a bit differently, this response to the “discussion” most closely resembles my own thoughts on this topic.
However, I am still very curious about this vision for “helpful friendliness” toward a local school system. Awaiting that post…
I’m a faculty member at a local community college. In our Nursing and Allied Health division, most faculty are either homeschooling their children or have them enrolled in private school. Homeschooling is pretty matter-of-fact for the general population in this part of the country. While these families are definitely not in the majority, no one makes a strange face when told a child is homeschooled.
It is important we homeschoolers not insult other parents’ education choices for their children. Who are we to say other parent’s choices are good or bad for their children? The other parent may secretly wish he could homeschool his child as well, but financial circumstances or family situations do not allow it.