Transition from home to traditional school / thoughts on keeping one child at home

[Christy B]

Our oldest dd will most likely be attending a Christian school in the fall. (Entering 8th grade). We are still undecided about our younger dd (who would be entering 5th grade).

I would love to hear some BTDT suggestions on how to make a smooth(er) transition from the homeschool setting to the traditional school setting. We have not been very structured here at home, so I think the biggest adjustment will be to the fact that they can't just pop up and get a cup of hot chocolate, or go to the bathroom, or go play with a kitty cat, whenever they feel like it. (Frankly, all of that is one of the many factors that led us to this point, but that's a whole 'nother post).

What are some specific things we need to work on? We are going to spend a couple of weeks on test prep; dd has started taking notes in church; we're going to start getting up a lot earlier :rolleyes: -- what else can we do?

Also, we are having trouble trying to sort out what we want to do about the youngest dd. We do not see the "need" for a change for her so much as we do the older dd. For those who have experienced this, what are some of the pros and cons to having just one at home, while the other is at school?

Thanks in advance -- I look forward to hearing your thoughts. May I just make one request? We have arrived at this decision after years of prayer and consideration. Frankly, I think we have already homeschooled our older dd one year too many (although she has had some fantastic experiences this year that I think have made her better prepared for the transition). So, I want to be very clear: I am not asking for input on *if* we should send dd to school. I will spend enough time agonizing and second-guessing myself, I assure you. Right now, I just want some practical ideas to focus on (since I don't know what to do with myself, what with not having a reason to spend the next three months pouring over catalogs and creating lesson plans!)

[sclisa]

I really don't think you need to do much of anything. Three of our children attended ps for the first time this year. One entered 9th grade, one 6th, and one 2nd.

With our ds who entered 2nd, we discussed a little bit of 'general knowledge' such as raising hands, standing in line, asking permission to use the bathroom, etc. He chose to bring his lunch daily, but if yours will be buying, you might want to discuss how that will work. We talked about paying attention, listening and following directions. But all of this information was given very casually and over time. I didn't want to freak him out, kwim? ;)

With the older two, we just sent them on the first day with their supplies. We had done a tour of the school prior to the first day, so they were comfortable with the layout.

None of our children ride the bus, but if yours will, then you'll probably want to talk about that. But, for us, we just touched on the more 'social' aspects of school. We didn't do any extra prep academically at all. Unless something changes, we'll be bringing two of them home again next year, but that is only because there are more negatives than positives in ps for those two children. They were able to fit in very quickly and we have had no glaring deficiencies either academically or socially. As a matter of fact, more than one teacher has expressed surprise that our children were so quick to adapt.

I hope that eases your concerns some. For us, honestly, it wasn't difficult at all (well, it was for *me*, but that's another story lol).

As far as keeping one home & sending one to school, well, I think that's a decision that has to be made by you & your family. We'll be hs'ing some & sending another to school next year, and I'm completely comfortable with that. The children are all fine with it, too. We made our decisions based on what was best for each of our children, and that's just the way it seems to be working out. I think you should do what is best for you, your children & your family. There is really no one "right" decision except for the one that's right for y'all!

Lisa

[Janet in Toronto]

I sent my now 13 yo DS Michael to a small private Catholic school when he was entering Grade 6. He was homeschooled for Grades 4 and 5. He is now in Grade 7.

The biggest transition issues we had were organization. Of everything. Remembering to bring homework home in the backpack. Remembering to bring appropriate books to each class as they were not permitted to go to their lockers between certain classes. Remembering to write assignments down in his agenda. If you have an opportunity to get him to use an agenda for a while, that would probably be a big help.

Our homeschooling years were pretty focussed, but I didn't do any testing in history or science, so he needed help to learn how to study for these kinds of tests. (I highly recommend the flash card method...question on one side, answer on the other.) Luckily, he has an excellent memory and so he was able to get up to speed pretty quickly. Academically, he did really well and was in a school that was somewhat forgiving of his organizational problems.

This year, he is in a larger private school, 1200 students in Grade 7-12, and his org skills are still being honed. The school is VERY strict about handing things in on time and he's been "burned" a couple of times on that front (his words!). But it's better to learn these lessons now, rather than later I guess.

This year, he carries a cell phone and wallet with him at all times since he takes public transit to and from school. He's been very good about keeping track of these items, although we still do the "wallet? phone?" drill every morning. At the beginning of the year, he left a couple of items on the subway, and still occasionally forgets homework, but he seems to be growing into these skills. He's had to replace his art kit and lunch bag out of his allowance. They've never been left behind since!

Anyway, good luck to you! Our decision to send Michael to school was the right one, and he is growing into a fine, young, and soon-to-be-organized young man.

Peace.

Janet in Toronto

[Christy B]

I am so glad to know that others have "gone before me" and everyone survived. :)

I think the organization issue will be huge (and it's one of the reasons we believe it's "time" for dd to learn some hard lessons -- also one of the reasons we decided to go ahead in 8th as opposed to waiting until 9th!)

For our younger dd, I think the whole lunchroom, bathroom, getting-lost-in-the-hallway type stuff will be the bigger challenge. But, surely, she won't be the first 5th grader to need some help getting the hang of things! Besides, she awfully cute and little. She tends to elicit a very sympathetic response from people. :p

[Mandamom]

oldest into public school 8th grade and it went pretty well. I made sure that he was more or less comfortable with taking notes and organization and such. He did fine and continues to do fine in now private school after a year in public school which he did fine also.

Is there anyway your dd can meet any students that already attend the school, particularly if you are planning on using the bus? In our situation, my dss was already good friends with a student and they went to school together, sitting in the same bus seat the first day or so.

Just make sure you know what your school schedule is and make sure you are home when you need to be. Make sure you keep a cell phone handy in case the school calls for a problem or if it closes due to inclement weather.

The entire time I homeschooled my oldest dss, my youngest dss was always in public school. It very occasionally interferred with social activities for oldest dss but other than that it really wasn't a problem. Only rarely did younger dss complain because his brother didn't have homework but that was very rare.

If you have any specific questions let me know.

[RoughCollie]

We put three of our kids in a parochial school this year (grades 7, 8 and 8). They had no problems adjusting to being in school. Our homeschool was not very structured either, most of the time. I did tell them to do what the teacher said, not to talk unless they were called upon, and to raise their hands if they had something to say.

I also gave them speeches on how they would feel uncomfortable at first, but they would get used to it within 2-3 weeks and everything would be fine. I went to 9 schools in 12 years, so I have a lot of experience with what it feels like to be the new kid. I told them not to latch onto the first kids who made friends with them, and to give every kid a chance to be friends with them. I gave them pointers on how to carry on conversations with other kids, so they wouldn't get stalled in a Q-A format that ended with the answer. I encouraged them to invite their new friends to our home and I called the mothers to make those arrangements.

I gave tests during grades 6 and 7, and all the way through in math and grammar, so my kids were already used to taking them.

The biggest problem the kids had was staying organized -- remembering to write down their assignments, to bring the correct books home from school, and to bring their homework back to school.

I solved part of that by purchasing one copy of each of their schoolbooks (used and cheap) to keep at home. They each have a homework folder. On one side, they put the worksheets the teachers assign and on the other, they put the homework that has to be returned to the teachers.

My other reason for buying the schoolbooks was that the kids were bringing home backpacks that were way too heavy for them to be carrying around, IMO. This solved that problem.

We are more than halfway through the year now, and the kids' organizational skills have improved a lot. Their note-taking skills were already fine because I did a mini-course on that in homeschool a couple of years ago. They take notes in school, but they never refer to them after that because it isn't helpful.

We have to get up at 6:30 a.m. now and all of us hate that part of it.

My kids like going to school, but they complain about how much time is wasted and how easy the work is compared to homeschool. (Mind you, they are not asking to come back to homeschool.)

I still have one child at home. The biggest problem is that we have to be sure to get his work done before his siblings come home, because then I have to supervise them to make sure they do all their homework, studying, and other required activities.

When I homeschooled all the kids, we were all done around 2 or 3 p.m. for the day. Now the school day drags on forever because when homeschool is done, the other school's requirements take over. None of these three kids wants to do homework for 2-3 hours after spending 6 hours in school, so it is usually a hassle for me to get them going and keep them going.



I would love to hear some BTDT suggestions on how to make a smooth(er) transition from the homeschool setting to the traditional school setting.

Also, we are having trouble trying to sort out what we want to do about the youngest dd. We do not see the "need" for a change for her so much as we do the older dd. For those who have experienced this, what are some of the pros and cons to having just one at home, while the other is at school?

[Mandamom]

>>>I still have one child at home. The biggest problem is that we have to be sure to get his work done before his siblings come home, because then I have to supervise them to make sure they do all their homework, studying, and other required activities. >>>


I forgot about that. Some days were rough for me because it seemed like school work was never done. All day homeschooling (particularly on difficult homeschool days) and then another batch up time getting through homework and projects. Ugh!

But it was best for the kids so I did it.

[Chris in VA]

I had two at home and one in school.
Just a comment--
Be aware that your in-school child may find she feels a little left-out. She will not know what you have discussed during the day--her "context" will not be the same. My ds (schooled) reported feeling this way. He didn't always know what we were referring to in our conversations (say, at the dinner table, when all were present). He didn't want to be homeschooled, mind you, but he did feel the odd man out syndrome a bit.

[Christy B]

>>>I still have one child at home. The biggest problem is that we have to be sure to get his work done before his siblings come home, because then I have to supervise them to make sure they do all their homework, studying, and other required activities. >>>


I forgot about that. Some days were rough for me because it seemed like school work was never done. All day homeschooling (particularly on difficult homeschool days) and then another batch up time getting through homework and projects. Ugh!

But it was best for the kids so I did it.

Part of my struggle with continuing to homeschool is the sense that for me, the school day never really ends -- I wake up and push through schoolwork, push through chores, push through activities, push through the math that never gets finished during the day. And then after dinner I grade papers, plan lessons, clean up the schoolroom -- it just never seems to end. (Um, yes, I am burnt out. I recognize that!) So, I can see where keeping one child home could really set me up for more of the same. If my younger dd truly wanted to stay home, I would be happy to try it, but at this point, she really would like to go to the school with her sister.

Excellent point, I don't think I had thought of that. I'm looking forward to helping with the homework. But I don't think I want to school AND help with homework.

[Christy B]

Is there anyway your dd can meet any students that already attend the school, particularly if you are planning on using the bus? In our situation, my dss was already good friends with a student and they went to school together, sitting in the same bus seat the first day or so.



If you have any specific questions let me know.

The school has invited both girls to come spend a day with "their class" (in other words, their current class, so that they are spending time with the same children they would be with next year). Also, we have a dear friend who is a teacher at the school. I think that my older dd would have her for math, and my younger dd for science. So that would be a big help. This teacher knows one of the girls that would be in my older dd's class, and has suggested that she could get together with them. (It is teachers like this who make us willing to consider this school!)

We live just a few minutes away from the school, so the bus will only be for activities, etc.

And I'm sure I will have a million more questions as we take on this adventure! Thanks!

[mcconnellboys]

I allowed my oldest to return to a private school this year and my younger son is still at home. I've made it a point to arrange regular, weekly outings so that he can be with others, but he's really not as manic about that as my older son was, anyway, so he doesn't mind a day at home without interaction with others.

Is your youngest really attached to the older child in such a way that her being away will be mourned? Or will she be fine with that? Maybe it's really a non-issue, as it was for us,

Regena

[Christy B]

I allowed my oldest to return to a private school this year and my younger son is still at home. I've made it a point to arrange regular, weekly outings so that he can be with others, but he's really not as manic about that as my older son was, anyway, so he doesn't mind a day at home without interaction with others.

Is your youngest really attached to the older child in such a way that her being away will be mourned? Or will she be fine with that? Maybe it's really a non-issue, as it was for us,

Regena

My youngest is attached to her sister -- but she is even more attached to me! She is quite a mommy's girl.

I think, though, that the comfort of having her sister in the same school (they wouldn't see much of each other, but it is a small school, so she would likely see her in passing) would help with the adjustment to being away from me. And, my youngest is the child who really thrives on social interaction.

I dunno, this is a tough one. :-) I think we will know a lot more once they've had their day to visit the school.