Where is the common sense???

[strider]

My little cousins are in public school for the first time this year. We are thankful--it has been really good for them. Their mother is terminally ill, living in a nursing home. We have been thankful that each child in the school have caring teachers and they have acclimated well.

HOWEVER . . .

The sheer lack of common sense blows my mind! Today Cousin #4 went on a field trip. The class was late returning and missed his afternoon daycare pick-up. The school administration called his father expecting him to leave work (he is a blue collar worker who really could be fired for leaving work) in order to transport his son FIVE MINUTES down the road to the daycare. After frantically calling ALL his emergency contact he finally found someone who could come take this child to daycare. I cannot *believe* the school CAUSED this problem but refused to take care of it!!!

I'm sure it's due to some ridiculous rule about who can transport kids, and it breaks my heart that they would insist on someone losing work time in a case like this.

Another frustration is with the daycare for the 3yo cousin. They absolutely will NOT help a child in the bathroom AT ALL, and they do NOT toilet the kids on any particular schedule, AND they respond to accidents with punitive, shaming actions!!! My sweet little cousin has been struggling with encopresis as a direct result of the insensitive, uncaring way they handle this. I have spent the last TWO days feeding her prunes and coaching her to relax. It breaks. my. heart. to see her so afraid and ashamed and IN PAIN due to constipation!!!

There is no common sense anymore.

[GreenKitty]

That's sad. So very sad. It's a shame that common sense isn't used all the time.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I think there is a rule that bureaucracy and common sense can't co-exist.

[Sunkirst]

Oh for crying out loud...

I babysit at the Y, and the rule is that if I must accompany the child, the door stays open and I help with nothing. What human can properly void in this condition (to say nothing about washing hands)? I've spoken to all parents with youngsters about this (they were uniformly incredulous), so now I close the door and help clean up. It is just common sense.

[Ellie]

more people would have it.:(

(((strider and family))) So sorry all this is happening.

[Josie]

Is there another child care situation possibility for the three year old? Her toilet problems could have lasting effects if not handled properly.

[kalanamak]

Is there another child care situation possibility for the three year old? Her toilet problems could have lasting effects if not handled properly.

Remember that case in the South where 3 year olds (who also claimed they'd been forced onto space ships) accused some staff and people actually went to jail? Hair raising. Anyone remember that documentary?

Can they find a home-based situation? Also, my son, who spent a few hours there a day while hubby worked on the roof, waited until he got home and I fed him something warm and filling as soon as he got home and even a warm bath, so he'd go as soon as he got home.

[Renee in FL]

Another frustration is with the daycare for the 3yo cousin. They absolutely will NOT help a child in the bathroom AT ALL, and they do NOT toilet the kids on any particular schedule, AND they respond to accidents with punitive, shaming actions!!! My sweet little cousin has been struggling with encopresis as a direct result of the insensitive, uncaring way they handle this. I have spent the last TWO days feeding her prunes and coaching her to relax. It breaks. my. heart. to see her so afraid and ashamed and IN PAIN due to constipation!!!


It doesn't have to be this way. It is actually against state regulations to shame a child for accidents.

My daughters go to daycare and the teachers help them in the bathroom, but in the 2yo room there are short dividers for some privacy, but no true walls or doors and the 3yo's room has bathrooms with walls and 1/2 doors.

I also pay out the WAZOO for a "5 star" center, which means that the teachers have degrees (and hopefully some common sense!) I have been nothing but pleased with the care they receive there, but I wouldn't have them in other centers in the same town who tend to hire whomever comes in off the street.

[kalanamak]

Remember that case in the South where 3 year olds (who also claimed they'd been forced onto space ships) accused some staff and people actually went to jail? Hair raising. Anyone remember that documentary?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Rascals_Day_Care_Center

It was a Frontline documentary. I'll never forget how the parent screamed and panted as the car carrying one of the convicted left the courthouse, and then instantly turned to the other screaming mothers and said "Let's go for pizza" with a huge smile.

[StacyWithFourRugrats]

I think it is in probably in the No Child Left Behind paperwork that says "any common sense is not to be brought onto the school grounds" :D *insert sarcasm here*

A few years back we were considering putting our younger son in daycare. However, NO daycare would accept him because he was not fully potty trained. I tried to explain to him that he had a medical condition (tho at this point, it is all psychological still) that made it difficult for him to go #2. All of them said there was no way he could go to the older preschool classes wearing a diaper and they would not put him in the younger classes (which we wouldn't want anyway). It was a ridiculous rule but they all said it was for sanitation issues. These are children for goodness sake!

Glad it stopped us from putting him in daycare anyways.

[strider]

Is there another child care situation possibility for the three year old? Her toilet problems could have lasting effects if not handled properly.

The family is in dire financial and emotional straits due to the mother's brain tumor. The father is just plain badly overwhelmed and just trying to put one foot in front of the other.

I have offered repeatedly to keep her myself, for free, AND help with half the driving. Their father just doesn't understand how large this issue is and is terribly overwhelmed at the logistics of getting her to me.

This daycare has given him significant need-based financial aid, and it is also the *only* daycare that will transport his older son from kindergarten.

In short, the father feels somewhat trapped and keeps hoping it will get better.

I just keep trying to talk him through it. He is a caring father--he just cannot see clearly through their terrible, terrible circumstances.

[Kathy in MD]

I remember one case where the investigating social worker insisted on interviewing all the children and asked enough leading questions that she actually changed the children's memories. I think the social worker became involved because one parent made a complaint, and that was of questionable legitmousy.

BTW, there have been studies where this can happen to adults. Just think how easy it is to do to young children

[Amy in NY]

The family is in dire financial and emotional straits due to the mother's brain tumor. The father is just plain badly overwhelmed and just trying to put one foot in front of the other.

Oh how hard this must be for you to watch. I'll pray for them and for you (not that you were asking for prayers but I feel compelled to pray.)

Amy

[strider]

Oh how hard this must be for you to watch. I'll pray for them and for you (not that you were asking for prayers but I feel compelled to pray.)

Amy

They (we) can use all the prayers, encouragement, and help from God we can get.

[gardenschooler]

Remember that case in the South where 3 year olds (who also claimed they'd been forced onto space ships) accused some staff and people actually went to jail? Hair raising. Anyone remember that documentary?



I remember reading a book about 15 years ago that sounds exactly like what you're describing, but I believe it was a sort of family day care. Off to google - and yes, it was absolutely incredible how these 3 yr. olds were given such leading questions, and no one ever stopped to think they might be making it up. Even after the space ship stories!

Edited to add: I found this: http://www.clogo.org/Archives/prd/exp/Rascals.html