Help! I need jokes for ds5 to tell in a "talent show" on Wednesday night.

[JudoMom]

They need to be short, so he can remember them. And he needs to "get" them, or he won't remember them.

I need to stock him full of jokes, or he'll start ad libbing. That's not a good thing :eek:.

So far the only one he likes is the "Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? So he could see time fly".

Help?

[tess in the burbs]

ok, this is the only joke I know. It cracked up my 3 y/o, but who knows, a 5 y/o might appreciate it too.

Knock Knock
who's there?
Cargo
Cargo who?
Car go beep beep!

:-)

[JenneinAZ]

What do you call a monkey that keeps coming back?
A boomerangatan

What is a pirate's favorite letter?
ARRRRR

What is a lion's favorite type of music?
rock-n-roar

What is a mouse's favorite game?
parcheesy

What do you call a surgeon with eight arms?
Doctopus


I hope that some of these work.

Jenne in AZ
(dd9, ds7, ds3)

[kRenee]

What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt.

Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Why didn't the teddy bear finish his dinner?
He was stuffed.

[Mom2GirlsTX]

Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven ate nine!

What happened when Mr. & Mrs. Bullet got married?
They had a bee bee

[nancypants]

This is from my son:

"What does a cow do to find out what's happening in the world?

He reads a Moospaper"

[Chris in VA]

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the tub, I'm dwowning, I'm dwowning!

[Chris in VA]

Oh, here's one we made up (only if the audience classically schools)
What did Hammurabi have for lunch?
A Baba-loney sandwich!


lololol

[Diane]

Which U.S. State is the smartest?

Alabama- it has 4 A's and 1 B.



**taken from Weekly Reader**

[Lorna in the boonies]

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

[Robin Hood]

Good one, both of my 9yodds got it roaring out in laughter - Babalonia!

[chickenpatty]

These are ones my five year old has remembered and told me (numerous times).

Why did the Silly Billy put his pillow in the fireplace?
Because he wanted to sleep like a log.

Why did the Silly Billy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
So he wouldn't wake the sleeping pills.

[Tarheel Heather]

Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?

To hide in the cherry tree!

That's all I got!

[JudoMom]

Ds5 is well stocked now AND he finds y'all to be quite funny :D!