Attitude about self in ds (13) re: math

[Holly IN]

My oldest is having a very poor attitude about himself regarding math. He had a blow out this morning. We switched from Saxon 65 to MUS Epsilon. He was doing fine with Epsilon but threw a fit this morning over how stupid and dumb he is. He struggles with story problems and making things fit together. I do not know what to do. He is very jealous of younger brother (10) who doesn't struggle with math. He just knows it very well. We have never compared the two. I told him this morning that they each have their strenghts and weakness in different areas.

I am at my wits end. I do not know what to do. His friends who are the same ages (13 to 14) as he is are doing Algebra. So he is very upset by this.

I told him that his attidue about math and himself has to change in order for him to step forward.

HELP!!:(

Holly

[Rich with Kids]

My oldest is having a very poor attitude about himself regarding math. He had a blow out this morning. We switched from Saxon 65 to MUS Epsilon. He was doing fine with Epsilon but threw a fit this morning over how stupid and dumb he is. He struggles with story problems and making things fit together. I do not know what to do. He is very jealous of younger brother (10) who doesn't struggle with math. He just knows it very well. We have never compared the two. I told him this morning that they each have their strenghts and weakness in different areas.

I am at my wits end. I do not know what to do. His friends who are the same ages (13 to 14) as he is are doing Algebra. So he is very upset by this.

I told him that his attidue about math and himself has to change in order for him to step forward.

HELP!!:(

Holly

I am going through this with my ds12. He's doing Delta, but we are having to constantly review facts. He knows this stuff! But gets tripped up by the steps. He forgets to add in multi-digit multiplication. He forgets to carry...ugh! It is very frustrating. I'm thinking of having math facts boot camp. I can't do every problem with him!

I guess I'm no help, but you are not alone.

[WTMindy]

I am wondering if showing him that it is a priority to get him help would help his attitude. Sometimes a tutor will bring a fresh new perspective and can suggest things in new ways. Story problems are difficult, but usually they indicate the fact that the concepts that are being taught are not understood at a conceptual level. For example, you can add 3+3 because you have memorized your facts, but if you don't really understand what addition is, you would have trouble doing the problem. (If you had 3 apples and 3 oranges how much fruit would you have). The student who has just memorized would be at a loss because there is no + in the problem. The kid who understands addition at a conceptual level would have no problem making this connection. I used this simple example, but the same is true for every mathematical topic.

My suggestion is to have him start explaining his math thinking outloud to you. Why did you add those two numbers? How did you get that answer? Why didn't you divide there? This process helps kids to develop their mathematical thinking and helps you to correct errors in his thinking. This is also where a tutor might be able to help.

Good luck, I'm sorry this is a struggle for your son. I hate to see a kid get discouraged in math becuase it is hard to shake that perception. Tell him that my dh did *not* get algebra in 8th grade but then, something clicked and he went on to be a math major.

[Holly IN]

About a tutor....I am not sure. Does it have to be Sylvans?

I hope not as they are very costly. Perhaps I can find out if there is a high schooler in our group that is willing to walk my son through the problems? I have to think about this one.

I do talk him through the problems but he keeps saying I am dumb. :(

Thanks for your help-

Holly

[Stirsmommy]

About a tutor....I am not sure. Does it have to be Sylvans?

I hope not as they are very costly. Perhaps I can find out if there is a high schooler in our group that is willing to walk my son through the problems? I have to think about this one.

I do talk him through the problems but he keeps saying I am dumb. :(

Thanks for your help-

Holly

I don't think it has to be Sylvans but I am not sure someone from your group is a good choice either. I tutored some in high school but the kids were always from a different school. If your son already feels embarassed and "dumb" having someone he knows from a group may make it worse. Do you live near a college some of their students might be willing to tutor. Also sometimes school districts have a list of private tutors.

[~Tara~]

Aaah we struggle with that here too. My Eldest, nearly 11, sounds much like the two boys posted above. He doesn't verbalize it, but you can tell he is really beating himself up over it. And he gets it..he really does..he just doesn't have the confidence. He too often second guesses himself and then gets things wrong. And the silly mistakes kind of thing...forgetting to carry and the likes.

I have recently taken to having him explain to me the whys of what he's doing. When he goes to correct something...like today..there was a question where the 'answer' was yes or no. He said 'no'. So when checked wrong, of course he just goes to change the word. Uh, no, not good enough. Now tell me why. You have to explain it to me. He sat for a bit, frustrated. Then spouted off some numbers and I'm like...where did those come from? That number isn't here. Then he actually gave me the right answer, so I asked how he got that answer. "I don't know" Argh! So we had to step back and walk through it all.

That gets very frustrating, for both of us.

So, I know I'm of no help, just relating with you. I feel your pain. But try having him explain things back to you. See if that helps. Like I said, I've only recently started this, so, I don't know if that's really the ticket, but, worth a try. Besides...Demme does talk about having the kid teach YOU the math. If they can tell YOU how to do it, they've mastered it. Well, we've been skipping that step. I guess we need to NOT skip it anymore.

[Holly IN]

Then he actually gave me the right answer, so I asked how he got that answer. "I don't know" Argh! So we had to step back and walk through it all.

That gets very frustrating, for both of us.

So, I know I'm of no help, just relating with you. I feel your pain. But try having him explain things back to you. See if that helps. Like I said, I've only recently started this, so, I don't know if that's really the ticket, but, worth a try. Besides...Demme does talk about having the kid teach YOU the math. If they can tell YOU how to do it, they've mastered it. Well, we've been skipping that step. I guess we need to NOT skip it anymore.

YES YES YES That is what is happening....He can't explain the answer to me. I guess I will have to play dumb to get him to teach me. We have been skipping that as well. :rolleyes:

thanks!!

Holly

[Mom2boys]

My son, also almost 11, has similar struggles with math. I wonder how much of it is them still being concrete thinkers, and not being developmentally ready for abstract math. I don't think my son has truly made the jump yet to logic stage thinking. We also use MUS and are stepping away from long division in favor of Epsilon where he can use manipulatives again.