Ms. Riding Hood
01-26-2009, 12:55 AM
This seems to be a topic that comes up regularly: what do I do with my child that has no motivation? I have asked this same question several times in the last couple of years, clinging to Nan's words that things do get better. My older ds is very self-disciplined, academic, etc. No worries with him. But my younger ds just didn't care! I've really felt at my wits' end with him more times than I can count, and wondered if he didn't need to be in public school, with more accountability, structure, discipline, whatever. Somewhere out of my hair!
But LO! A miracle has occured! Tonight we were sitting around shooting the breeze--a nice late-evening chat with all the little ones in bed, and we got on the subject of school. There is a teacher in the local ps who is known around our small town as being a bad teacher, and many of our kids' friends talk about how little they learn in his classes. So my ds gives ME a long lecture about how the kids and parents have it all wrong--it isn't the teacher's responsibility to teach. It is the kids' responsibility to learn. And how he himself has embraced this idea of "self-education" as the only path to learning, and also as the way to achieve any goal. He even went so far as to say that I had really done a good job with homeschooling, to teach him this lesson. [N.B.--I don't "teach" in our homeschool, and would generally be considered lax or hands-off in my approach. We don't operate in an unschooler way at all, but I do expect them to work on their own in most instances.]
Needless to say, my mouth was hanging open as I listened to this strong-willed--nay, defiant--unmotivated, unacademic child telling me that I'm a good parent for forcing him to learn on his own. I think that something has just clicked with him this year, as a 9th grader. Part of it is fear of being behind or being stupid. I think he realized that no one was going to force-feed him, and if he didn't start learning stuff on his own it just wasn't going to happen.
Wow. You could knock me over with a feather. This is a moment I never really expected to see, ever. Maybe the rest of high school with this ds won't be so teeth-pullingly difficult as I had anticipated. I'm already thinking, "Two kids down, four to go!", as though all my homeschool difficulties with him have been conquered.:tongue_smilie:But if this ds can learn this concept of self-education, I'm ready to believe that all my other kids can, too.
Maybe there is something to this homeschooling stuff, after all. :001_smile: And a few prayers probably didn't hurt, either. So keep your chin up and hang in there! You never know what surprises lurk around the corner!
But LO! A miracle has occured! Tonight we were sitting around shooting the breeze--a nice late-evening chat with all the little ones in bed, and we got on the subject of school. There is a teacher in the local ps who is known around our small town as being a bad teacher, and many of our kids' friends talk about how little they learn in his classes. So my ds gives ME a long lecture about how the kids and parents have it all wrong--it isn't the teacher's responsibility to teach. It is the kids' responsibility to learn. And how he himself has embraced this idea of "self-education" as the only path to learning, and also as the way to achieve any goal. He even went so far as to say that I had really done a good job with homeschooling, to teach him this lesson. [N.B.--I don't "teach" in our homeschool, and would generally be considered lax or hands-off in my approach. We don't operate in an unschooler way at all, but I do expect them to work on their own in most instances.]
Needless to say, my mouth was hanging open as I listened to this strong-willed--nay, defiant--unmotivated, unacademic child telling me that I'm a good parent for forcing him to learn on his own. I think that something has just clicked with him this year, as a 9th grader. Part of it is fear of being behind or being stupid. I think he realized that no one was going to force-feed him, and if he didn't start learning stuff on his own it just wasn't going to happen.
Wow. You could knock me over with a feather. This is a moment I never really expected to see, ever. Maybe the rest of high school with this ds won't be so teeth-pullingly difficult as I had anticipated. I'm already thinking, "Two kids down, four to go!", as though all my homeschool difficulties with him have been conquered.:tongue_smilie:But if this ds can learn this concept of self-education, I'm ready to believe that all my other kids can, too.
Maybe there is something to this homeschooling stuff, after all. :001_smile: And a few prayers probably didn't hurt, either. So keep your chin up and hang in there! You never know what surprises lurk around the corner!