Help with my dd and older boys

[midwestbelle]

My twin girls will be 8 in May. One of them has always gravitated toward the older boys in the group at church or wherever we happen to be. I have nephews (age 10 and 13) who have always taken up time with my girls and that could account for her being so comfortable playing with the older boys, but I am still concerned about this growing into an unhealthy behavior. At our new church there is a 6th grade boy with a little sister the same age as my girls. They play chase and tease each other constantly. Is this normal, or should I be concerned? Is there some dialog I could be using with the girls as far as appropriate behavior with boys?

Thanks ladies,

[Jean in Newcastle]

It sounds normal. This is "brother/sister" type of play. If you notice flirting or that kind of awareness of the opposite sex, then I would have a little talk and set up some more boundaries.

[midwestbelle]

My dh found a note in dds room that said, "____ is my boyfrind". If you can't spell boyfriend, you definitely are not old enough to have one!!!!!!!

I casually asked her about it when we were alone and at first she told me it wasn't hers, but quickly changed her answer and said it was, but that she was just joking. I had a brief talk with her about her not being old enough for boyfriends. She acted embarrassed and was quick to agree with me and change the subject. Is there a handbook to dealing with this kind of stuff?????

Thanks

[Cadam]

She's a little girl with a crush. I would be careful not to embarrass her but keep an eye on their interactions. I bet it is all in her head - and not in his at all. :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

My dh found a note in dds room that said, "____ is my boyfrind". If you can't spell boyfriend, you definitely are not old enough to have one!!!!!!!

I casually asked her about it when we were alone and at first she told me it wasn't hers, but quickly changed her answer and said it was, but that she was just joking. I had a brief talk with her about her not being old enough for boyfriends. She acted embarrassed and was quick to agree with me and change the subject. Is there a handbook to dealing with this kind of stuff?????

Thanks

Was the name in the blank the name of the sixth grade boy? I'd say you need to talk to her about what your family believes about dating/ courtship/ relationships with members of the opposite sex. Not in relation to this boy, but just in general.

[unsinkable]

Take this with some salt, cuz it was the 70s/80s and things might have changed:

I always hung around with boys, especially older boys. In my neighborhood, there was one family of boys that took me everywhere with them. I was like their mascot. I was about 7-9 and the youngest of these boys was 5 years older than me. There was never anything inappropriate (s**ual) in these friendships.

As I got older, the age gap grew smaller but I always felt more comfortable in groups of boys. To this day, I love listening in on groups of men talking together. I find it fascinating.

If you are worried, stay close by while she is with these boys. Watch out for anything inappropriate and jump on it.