Stuff to Do for Non Creative Kids

[Robin Hood]

One of my 9yo dd has a hard time with imagination and is slavish to following a list. I think she LOVES school because it is something to do and to accomplish. She doesn't love what she learns, she just loves to do it because it fills her time. She loves to be productive and useful. And shes is.

When it comes to chores, she is a dream come true, that is until someone is in her way. She can't figure out what to do until she accomplishes what is to be done next and then arguements start with big sister who is busy at something else, but in her way. She is stuck on the next thing and can not go forward until it is done. If all is done, she will sit on the couch and stare into space. She can accomplish things so fast, I can't keep up with stuff for her to do.

I am trying to come up with a things of to do list for her when she can't think of things to do, but I am trying to get her to think of them and she can't. She is crying because of this, so I googled "things for a 9yo to do" and such and I couldn't even close to anything I am trying for. Most of it was obscene. I really want it to be things she loves to do. The things she has come with involve me taking her places and playing with her and I am having trouble getting her to understand that it should be things at home.

So far the lists I am trying to get her to think about include:
1. People you would like to write a letter to.
2. Things you would like to make.
3. Things you can do to be useful.

I am also at this moment occupied and have trouble thinking of things for her myself. She also needs lots of verbal interaction but I need to get stuff done and she needs to occupy herself while I do.

Do any of you have a "Things To Do" list for your kids outside of chores? Fun stuff? She has so much trouble entertaining herself and I get upset with her when she really has done nothing wrong and seeks to please.

Sabe?

[MJN]

know what "it" is yet. I'm also of the mindset to train my dds to be homemakers and wives, so a lot of what we do leans towards that way. We've had some precious times together just learning how to do what homemakers, wives, and moms do. I'll just share some things that my 17 and 13 year old dds have done so far. Perhaps that will stir up some ideas for you. My girls have enjoyed quilting, learning to cook, learning to draw, learning to do calligraphy, doing arts and crafts, learning to scrapbook, reading books, learning how to design websites/blogs, learning how to organize a home, learning how to clean a home, do laundry, make special candies, visiting the elderly at an assisted living and our neighbors, designing a garden and working in it, learning to make homemade preserves, learning to can and freeze summer veggies, participating in 4H programs, sometimes we'll do a co-op for a semester, learning to make hook rugs, painting. OK, that's all I can think of right now. Maybe that will help. I think it's great that you want to come up with a list of things for her to do. There is so much to learn out there and such a great time/age to start learning.

[Robin Hood]

You are so right on all those things, but when I am occupied and she has run out of things to do, I need something for her to do that doesn't involve me. Her January bday prevented her from joining 4H, but it is a must for next year. She has joined her sister in a 4H sewing project, but right now, at home and without me, she'd break the machine, just like she has the vacume, the toaster and the computer. She hates reading. She is a 21 year old in waiting, but as she tries to do things like you've mentioned at 9, she breaks it, burns it or otherwise accidentally destroys it, kind, loving and gentle child that she is. It is busy non school work that she can do - without me that I am looking for. Everything she wants to do invovles me to some degree. If I am in the shower or otherwise occupied, she is knocking at the door, "I'm done, what now Mommy?" or any one of a hundred questions. None of this is bad, but since she is a slave to list, I want her to list stuff out and occupy herself. I came up with a few things, but are there more? I can't keep a list to save my life so it's hard for me to come up with ideas for a 9yo.

[Sophia]

I used to keep a bunch on hand for my girls to pick up and go through.
Also origami paper and a book that teaches them how to do it.
I also have calligraphy pens so they can always practice writing in that style (my two dd's really enjoy that)
I also gave my 12 y.o. my old sewing machine and provide her with patterns and
material-she just finished a "Jane Austen" style of dress.
My older dd also took up knitting and crocheting and is teaching her younger sis how to do this.
Sometimes I send them outside with binoculars and their nature journal and tell them not to come back until they've drawn something:eek:

[sclisa]

A few things that come to mind:

1) Gardening -- even container gardening, such as a few pots of herbs, would be good. Growing/caring for plants is great & she could also do reading about various plants/flowers.

2) I don't know if you coupon, but if you do, she could clip & file coupons, research ads for good deals, etc.

3) To go along with #2, could she help with meal planning? If you gave her a list of things on hand and access to recipes you use, could she plan some meals (subject to your approval, of course).

4) Could she be "in charge" of checking supplies once a week? You could give her a list of staples (shampoo, toothpaste, toilet paper, pantry staples, etc.) and she could check off the things that need to be bought that week.

5) I don't know if this would interest her, but my 9yo enjoys making bird feeders and bird houses by recycling materials. He then likes checking on the feeders and replenishing when necessary. This could also lead into learning about the various breeds that visit and possibly incorporating observations into a nature journal.

6) Maybe even have a list of physical activities that could be done. In my house, these include stair running, rebounding, jumping rope, riding bikes, etc. These are not punitive, btw. They just provide a sometimes much-needed outlet for excess energy.

That's all I can come up with at the moment, although I know there are many more things I'm just not thinking of. I think your idea is a great one & may make my own list. :D

Lisa

[Chris in VA]

Like Sophie, I'd recommend a nature journal. Some other ideas--
(and these are off the cuff, so ymmv! lol)

Really involved chores--teach her to:

Clean out the refrigerator
Wipe down all the cabinets in the kitchen
Sweep the entire first floor (or basement, or whatever)
Vaccuum the car with a hand vac
Strip all the beds
Re-organize her drawers (take everything out, one drawer at a time, wipe out, refold, put back in)
I'm sure you can think of more.
I'd make a list of steps, do it with her two or three times (maybe less, maybe more, depending on her skills), and then make it part of her chore rotation. Of course, you don't want to totally overwhelm her, but you do say she is highly capable. Send everyone out of the room when she's doing an involved chore, so she doesn't have to "go around" anyone. My son gets so frustrated when we are in his "sweeping path!"

See if she can learn to love to read--keep checking out books for her on many subjects. Did she have a favorite read aloud from past years? She might enjoy it now. I have to say, I was so excited when dd7 became a reader. She can self-entertain for hours.

Maybe try several long-term projects that she can pick up and put down. How about a knitting spool? Quilt squares with hand sewing? How about a wood working kit---Home Depot and craft stores have easy birdhouses and feeders.

This may be a long shot, but does she have a pet? Could you consider a kitty or small (or whatever) dog? Dd7 spends time with our golden alot. She brushes him, teaches him tricks, and even plays hide and seek with him (which I find cute but mildly pathetic!). Guinea pigs are nice--not too much maintenance, fun to look at, can be taken out, need their cages cleaned, etc.

I know Trivium Academy (Jessica) has an "I'm Bored" box for Camille (she's 7). Perhaps that would help.

Good luck!

[Robin Hood]

I used to keep a bunch on hand for my girls to pick up and go through.
I also have calligraphy pens so they can always practice writing in that style (my two dd's really enjoy that)
I also gave my 12 y.o. my old sewing machine and provide her with patterns and material
Sometimes I send them outside with binoculars and their nature journal and tell them not to come back until they've drawn something:eek:

We love klutz books but only have a few. She has a hard time with instructions though and waits for me or my other 9yo to start something, but I'm usually prodding that one to get her chores done.

I am starting to like the idea of calligraphy. I was going to buy them some stuff for Xmas and forgot. She has beautiful penmanship and that is right up her alley.

I am looking though the for sale add and at garage sales for an old sewing machine, haven't found one yet.

Both kids have a nature journal but haven't used it much yet. I like that binocular idea.

Thanks for all the input.

[Robin Hood]

She is a gold mine! We adopted her at 5 years old. She's my cousins daughter. After she had lived with us for a year, I told my cousin that he and his ex wife were foolish to think she was difficult. She is every parent's dream child. Our 1st year together was hard, but it all mellowed as time passed. The hard knocks of life have given her a soft gentle spirit and everyone loves her, young and old.

My other 9yo dd is an idea girl. She's full of vivacious spirit, a deep thinker and ideas flood her mind. She can't keep up with herself. At 9 her work is excellent, but crude, you know, like a beginner. She hates school and chores because they stop her from creating. The one I am asking about knows how to take the ideas of her sister and perfect them. They make an great team. They are kind of like Shakespear's Kate and Bianca and I have called them such before. But when "Bianca" runs into a road block or finishes up with something, she is just plain stuck. I know time will fix that all that, and I can think of a gazillion chorish things for her to do now, but I don't want to do that to her.

I am currently teaching her how to run the washer and dryer and she is doing her own clothes. Dh puts her to work to make his breakfast, she'll clean my baseboards if I ask her to, and she is moderate in her use of furniture polish so I can trust her with that. She is so fast though, that I can't keep giving her chores so I can't spend a half hour showering and dressing myself without the "I'm done Mommy, what now?" question. I don't think as fast as she does.

I am rambling now. I'll stop. Thanks for your tips.

[Robin Hood]

The more all of you mention work ideas, it makes me think that if that is what she loves to do, give it to her. She loves to go to work with dh at our pizza and sub shop and she comes home with $10.00 in tips because our customers think she is so cute as she works and serves them. At work she can roll out pizza dough, make simple pizzas, make salad, salad dressing, does dishes, stuff bags with mints and napkins, preps cheese and mushrooms, tries to take orders, but definately makes sure everyone is satisfied before they walk out the door. Even dh can't give her enough work. When she is done, she either asks for more (and we are shocked) or sits and stares. In structure, she thrives. I am not structured. Dh is. That is why I am asking for a list of things to fill her time while I do other things. I can't come up with enough stuff without feeling like a slave driver.

[Rosie_0801]

I can't come up with enough stuff without feeling like a slave driver.

If she wants a slave driver, there's no reason to feel bad about being one!
Can you chat to her about training her eyes to see what needs to be done, by herself? I used to be a guide leader, and found that these "little chats" could be surprisingly effective. I think I phrased one of these sorts of chats as the girl's brain bossing her around and telling her what to do, but she had to learn to tell her brain what to do instead, because she is supposed to be the boss. Not the most eloquent way of putting it, but the girl was 6; and I noticed positive behavoural changes within minutes, and they continued until she moved on.
:)
Rosie

[Chels~]

What about photography? My non-creative DS loves taking pictures and has gotten quite good at it.

[Stacia]

What about creating an idea jar for her?

Maybe the 2 of you could walk through each room together & create a list of ideas of things to do, from cleaning to crafty/fun stuff. Then, type up a list, cut the items apart & put them in a jar. When she can't figure out what to do, she can go pick an item out of the jar. Have a 2nd jar that she can put completed items in -- once she finishes everything in one jar, she can just start over again w/ the other jar.

Ideas:
- Any cleaning item (wiping cabinets, making beds, emptying trash cans, vacuuming, unloading or loading dishwasher, cleaning pet food bowls, folding or putting away laundry, etc...)
- Any outdoor items that would be appropriate (wash front door, sweep porch & front walk, pulling weeds, picking up sticks/pine cones, playing w/ dog, etc...)
- Cooking specific items (cutting/prepping veggies, organizing pantry or fridge, helping prep lunch or dinner, etc...)
- Write a letter to a friend or relative
- Do a page in a puzzle or activity book
- Read a chapter in a book or an article in a magazine she likes
- Any of the craft/activity items already mentioned
- Any gardening/plant related items
- PE type activities (trying to do a specific # of sit-ups, or push-ups, or so many jumping jacks, etc...)

Also, is there a local charity or group that she could help -- maybe something like helping to assemble mailing materials (something you guys could pick up the materials, she could work on them for a few days or week, then you return them). Or, something like that for your church/Sunday school or senior center? I don't know what type of work they might have that could be done at home, but there may be something.

[Virginia Dawn]

Crocheting. My aunt taught me how to crochet when I was young and it kept me busy for hours. Dishcloths and potholders are easy to learn and make nice gifts too.

Latchhook. Seriously. You can get kits for very nice rugs. And it is not complicated at all.

Hand sewing. You don't need a sewing machine to sew. Teach her how to do a neat running stitch. She could make small items like coasters, pot holders, even aprons. At one time young girls always had a sampler or quilt squares to work on when they had nothing to do.

[mom2g2b]

Someone once told me they used the work-serve-learn pattern when kids complained of being bored. The example was given was: do a chore, write a letter to a shut in/grandparent, learn to type, sew, etc.

Also, I printed off a list of 200 ideas for summertime. Here are a few of the suggestions: skate, shoot basketball, play a board game, jump rope, make homemade play dough,press fowers, write a letter, vacuum, draw, color, pull weeds, collect rocks, nature walk, play dress up, build a fort in your room or outside.

Vickie