Sooo...Am I the only one to have a certain conversation with my ds's today?

[JennifersLost]

Poor boys didn't know what hit them.

"Remember when we talked about our dating rules?" I started out. "How you are only allowed to date girls your age or one year older?"

Nods all around.

"Well, just to be clear, that doesn't mean when you're 18 you can date a 13 yo, ok?"

All three of them furiously trying to figure out the math....it was hysterical, but it was a great opening to talk about dating, sex, condoms!!!!!, diseases, more sex, how to pick potential candidates for dating, etc. We even covered the hypothetical situation, "What if you were 19 and a 29 yo woman wanted to date you? Would that be okay?" Lots of discussion on that one.

Thank you, Doran, for getting the ball rolling.

[Snickerdoodle]

"Remember when we talked about our dating rules?" I started out. "How you are only allowed to date girls your age or one year older?"


I'm curious about this. They cannot date a girl two years older? This is an honest question. My kids are younger so these issues haven't crossed our path yet.

[JennifersLost]

but there's more than the usual reason. I have three boys, now 14, 12, and 10 years old. No one is dating, although the twelve year old has a female friend he talks to a lot.

The reason for the "your age or one year older" rule is that when they were, let's see....I think 10, 8 and 6 this little girl in our homeschool group got them ALL wrapped around her little finger and started playing them off one against the other.

Total chaos at our house. Everyone fighting, everyone's feelings hurt. Each day they went to class she'd pick a new favorite and "dump" the last day's favorite. I couldn't believe it. Of course it was all "playing", but the boys' hurt feelings were real and I got a preview of what could happen later with much more serious repercussions.

I instituted the "rule" and they're growing up with it. I hope it helps us get through the next few years smoothly.

[Laura K (NC)]

My boys are also 14, 12, and just-turned-11. I can see your rule coming in handy someday!

[Doran]

Thank you, Doran, for getting the ball rolling.

Well, our conversations aren't looking quite like that around here -- kind of more the opposite! :D But, I'm happy to have served as an instigator of sorts. Too bad our El Salvadorian friend's mother didn't have the same talk with HER son!

Doran