What do you do when a younger sib catches up and even passes the LD child?

[True Blue]

I can see how my ds is struggling and actually regressing some in math. His little sister has suddenly jumped in her math ability and I this is going to be a problem as early as next Fall. Ds will feel bad about this and his other siblings notice he's having problems (We've talked about it some, but they really don't understand.)

What have you done in this situation to limit your child feeling bad about themselves or feeling stupid? We are working on getting an evaluation but even a dx won't solve this problem. Trying to raise an incredibly creative boy with LDs while keeping his self-esteem intact is proving to be quite the challenge.

Any ideas for handling this? Thanks.

[Ottakee]

First, I would put them into different math programs. That way it is a tad less obvious that she has by=passed him.

Then, I would find something that HE is good at, and let that be HIS activity--a sport, art, music, karate, a special volunteer project, etc. He needs something that he is good at and can shine.

[True Blue]

First, I would put them into different math programs. That way it is a tad less obvious that she has by=passed him.

Then, I would find something that HE is good at, and let that be HIS activity--a sport, art, music, karate, a special volunteer project, etc. He needs something that he is good at and can shine.

He's a very creative, talented kid and he has a couple things that he shines at, thank goodness. I knew someone would say put them in different programs. I have the younger 3 in TT and I wanted to keep it that way. I wish programs didn't come by grade level. Thanks for the answer. I appreciate it.

[Laurie4b]

It has already happened at our house and is not a tremendous issue. (This is with a sib 2 years younger.)
I think the reasons it's not a huge issue are that I've always emphasized to ds with all the challenges that kids who have challenges and overcome them are actually stronger adults that kids that never had anything to overcome. So ds with challenges sees them as an advantage of sorts. This helps him keep plugging away at remediating them. Secondly, I point out to ds-2yrs, that he does not have the same challenges, so the two can't be compared. I come down swiftly on any bragging.

I do have them in the same math program because I really like the program. Ds with the challenges is only about 10 exercises ahead of ds-2 years, but that actually motivates him to try to surge ahead. I group them in several subjects together, but I did that with the older too, as well, because I can't teach 4 separate courses in each subject. So that part is pretty normal around here.

I used to think it would have more impact than it has had now that we are here.

[True Blue]

It has already happened at our house and is not a tremendous issue. (This is with a sib 2 years younger.)
I think the reasons it's not a huge issue are that I've always emphasized to ds with all the challenges that kids who have challenges and overcome them are actually stronger adults that kids that never had anything to overcome. So ds with challenges sees them as an advantage of sorts. This helps him keep plugging away at remediating them. Secondly, I point out to ds-2yrs, that he does not have the same challenges, so the two can't be compared. I come down swiftly on any bragging.

I do have them in the same math program because I really like the program. Ds with the challenges is only about 10 exercises ahead of ds-2 years, but that actually motivates him to try to surge ahead. I group them in several subjects together, but I did that with the older too, as well, because I can't teach 4 separate courses in each subject. So that part is pretty normal around here.

I used to think it would have more impact than it has had now that we are here.

Thank you for posting this. I agree I do think it will make ds stronger. I don't think I've shared that with him and I need to. His sister is 2 years younger, like your situation. Maybe it won't be as big of a deal. I think I need to make sure my other kids aren't critical or making comments about it, which they aren't but they have had some mumblings that I've silenced. If I do this right it may not be an issue. :001_smile:

[Anne]

Another idea is to remember to work a bit more intentionally to celebrate as a family and to build family strenth - Make sure that everybody's successes (no matter how small) are celebrated - try to create a "we're all on the same team" mentality. I do realize that this is sometimes more easily said than done!! But I think every effort is helpful.

Anne

[Cadam]

A diagnosis won't solve the problem but I think you are underestimating what it can do. A diagnosis means that the struggle has a name, and that name is not "stupid". If you know your enemy it is easier to beat him. Even if it is just psychological, naming the problem is powerful.

Giving my dd's "issues" a name meant that I wasn't crazy, she wasn't a bad kid, I wasn't a terrible parent. I had something to curse when the frustration overwhelmed me. I could overcome a problem that I could name. It became a team effort. It wasn't me against dd; it was dd and I fighting this now named enemy.

Don't underestimate the power of a name. If you don't name it your son is likely to name himself.

[cranberrymom]

My 12 year old was passed by his younger brother years ago in Reading/language arts but thankfully stayed ahead in Math. I tell them we are blessed to work at our own level. We all have gifts. Then as they took the SAT from bju I pointed out their listening skills, history and other levels. When people ask them what grade they are in I tell them to ask the person what subject?? They can brag and say 9th grade history or science and post high school listening level. They had fun with it!
Terri, who doesn't take grade levels too seriously