Please help! I don't know what to do with my K'er.

[Chloe]

My ds will be 6 in December and he has NO interest in learning to read at all. He has known his letter sounds since he was three. He can put them together to make 3 and 4-letter words. We are working through The Reading Lesson (20 lessons or chapters, we're on 9), but every time I say it's time to do a lesson I get whining and crying about it. It's not just the reading. He hates doing his ETC book, handwriting book, and only tolerates Horizons math. He'd pick the math over anything, but doesn't ever want to do it either. I don't know what to do. I've tried playing some phonics games with him, and he does like that, but I can't seem to get him to progress as much with the games. They help more with reviewing new sounds he's learned in TRL. Also, I can't spend all our time on games. I mean, it IS reading. At some point he's going to have to read a book. All I ask for is one page of TRL, one page of math and one page of handwriting OR ETC a day. Really, it can all be done in about 30 minutes total. He doesn't even want to give me that! I do read to him, which he enjoys, but shouldn't I expect work from him also? All he wants to do is play outside or in the basement playroom, but even then he is constantly bothering us to find out how much longer before his big brother and sister will be finished with their work. He's a VERY verbal and social little boy. Any ideas? Am I asking too much? Should I force the little bit of school work I expect, or just read to him as much as possible and then call it a day/week/month???!!! If I need to hold off, how long should I wait to try doing lessons with him again? If I hold off, will he get the idea that all he has to do is whine about school for a while and then he'll get out of it?

Thanks for "listening"!

[JennW in SoCal]

Ah, kids! Just when you think you've figured out homeschooling, one of them throws you for a loop!!

Can I answer "all of the above" to your questions?! It doesn't sound like you are asking too much, nor is it a problem at his age to do lots of games and lots of reading aloud. Just keep mixing it up with him -- maybe 2 days of doing book work, 3 days of games. Can you do the math on a wipe off board and be his scribe? Can you do math problems while you bounce a ball back and forth to each other?

In the meantime, keep on reading aloud, perhaps get some books on tape. My boys didn't read fluently until they were 7, even though the phonics basics were there by age 5. Their general knowledge of the world just grew and grew even though their skills took some time to develop.

[athena1277]

Have you had his eyes checked? Maybe he has an underlying problem (like poor vision or dislexia) that makes the work hard and frustrating.

If there is no reason why he can't do the work, I encourage you to keep working with him. One day it all may "click" and he will discover that reading is fun and he will suddenly like learning.

In the mean time try some science or history topics mixed in that may interest him and motivate him to want to learn. Some of my dd's favorite lessons involve learning about dirt and rocks!

[Jenstet]

My son is 5 and will be 6 in March. He likes his workbook stuff (ETC, MUS, HWT,SSRW) but he even gets tired of doing it. We "take breaks" by doing something different. With the cooler weather we are visiting the library more, his phonics lessons are through Headsprout right now and we are using "The Learning Box" for fun stuff that he and his younger brother can do together and taking some hikes. I look at it as eating the same food for dinner every night. Gets a little boring. I find, at least with my son, that mixing it up keeps it more interesting for him and me.

By the way "The Tale of Despereaux" movie is coming out in November. We just finished the book and my son was really into it. Very into the whole castle/knights thing. Going to the movies is a fun field trip!!

[Cadam]

If you want to give him a break announce that six year olds get a break form school between Halloween and Christmas. That way there is no correlation to his whining. ;)

[mom31257]

I have a K son that struggles with liking writing, but is enjoying reading. I do sometimes do the writing for him. I try to have him write a few letters or words and numbers a day. I do a chart with small smiley face stickers (because he started balking at doing any writing). If he does each subject with a good attitude, he gets a smiley face. His big love is the playstation. If he has all smiley faces, he gets to do 30 minutes. He can't do that until all his school work is done. If he got all smiley faces for the whole week, he gets extra time on the weekends.

I don't think expecting 3 pages a day is too much. My K son does anywhere from 4 (front and back) to 8 or more. Most people aren't born loving to do what's required of them. They have to learn it's part of life and there are rewards for doing what we have to do. Daddy goes to work, so we get to eat and have a place to live. Mommy washes clothes, so we don't have to wear things that are dirty. I believe we should offer them things that they love in learning and try to help with their learning style, but we should also push them beyond just what they like. If life is always easy for them, how will they learn to function later?

Does he like to do things on the computer? I know www.starfall.com has reading and phonics games and books online. There are probably lots more you could find through google. Could you keep a chart of words he's learned to read and give some small prize for every 5 new words? I'd get an indoor trampoline as well. He could practice things on a dry erase board while jumping.

I hope this helps. Keep on going! It will work.

[mom31257]

I forgot to recommend Bob Books. They are very short good readers. They come in several sets that advance in skill.

I also do themes each month that he would get in Kindergarten. In September we did apples and "all about me". In October, we learned about farms (and went), fire safety, Columbus Day, and Spanish. For November, we're doing government, health, and Thanksgiving. Since we're doing ancient history, I didn't want him to miss out on what other kids his age was learning.

[mom2littleboys]

Sounds like today at my house! My boys have just wanted to play and then play some more. From what I have seen in my boys and those around us.....many boys (especially in the early years) really need to use those big muscles a lot!
He is still so young. Remember when we were in K?! I remember warm milk and cookies and playing with play dough----good times. Maybe finding some new books to spark his interest. Frog and Toad and Little Bear are favorites here. I really believe my boys learned to read from all their phonics toys---from playing.
HTH or at least encourages!

[helena]

how about something like Time 4 Learning. It's on the computer, and it's animated, so thats kind of fun. If he did that everyday and you could add 1 other thing in like printing one day, easy reader the next day. books on cd while using some kind of smart building blocks etc. might be nice.

[kalanamak]

Have you had his eyes checked? Maybe he has an underlying problem (like poor vision or dislexia) that makes the work hard and frustrating.



Yes. Glasses for smaller print and a few exercises and kiddo is doing much better. Literally 30 minutes total in exercises. What he needed to learn was that he could control his eyes, instead of them darting whereever his impulse was. Now he loves the pyramids in Phonics Pathways/Reading Pathways, busily does his ETC books with little guidance. What a change!

[djbartch]

I think I could have written the OP. :-) It makes me laugh, because when we got back from vacation, my son asked to do school. But he didn't want to do any of the things I brought out. I'm still not sure what he REALLY wanted to do!

I've found that mixing it up and giving him very short assignments (only 5 minutes sometimes) helps a lot. Also, if we do 'reading' or 'math' at a different time of the day, then I call it good, and don't force him to work through that subject at 'school time'. For example, my ds is learning to count money in math. While waiting for the bus I had him count out our bus fare. He counted how much total change I had, then pulled out how much we needed, then counted the remainder. I told him he'd just done his math work for the day. It made the other subjects easier when it was time for school, because he had one less thing.

Another suggestion just to help keep him focused, is give him some gum to chew on while doing school. The chewing actually helps the brain focus (especially in boys). My son has a special container of gum he gets ONLY when work on school work.

I'm giving all this advice, yet we are running into a big struggle right now too. I'm taking what I can get, and figuring at 5 yo, he'll get the rest eventually :)

[Bula Mama]

Just want to say that I feel your pain! My ds who's now 10 was just like that. I kept at it with him gently and tried to break it up as much as I could but he just had short bursts for his attention span and was a very physically active little boy. He is dyslexic, too, so I really couldn't push him faster than his attention span developed (and because of that your ds is learning faster than mine did at 5). A classroom situation would have been a nightmare for him!

He's had progressive jumps in his abilities to focus since then. There was a BIG one at 7, for example. And I think that's actually quite common for boys!

So, I would hang in there and do your best to make it interesting but don't feel bad at all if you need to back off some at times while you wait for him to grow.

I agree that checking his eyes is a good idea just to be safe, too, though!

[chiguirre]

He's had progressive jumps in his abilities to focus since then. There was a BIG one at 7, for example. And I think that's actually quite common for boys!


I experienced the 7 year miracle too. Ds just took off with being able to sit still and concentrate. His reading picked up and he can finally do simple copywork (a major challenge for him). It's so hard to just wait for them to be ready, but eventually they do get there.

[Chloe]

For right now, I'll just read to him a little more and at least try to have him read a couple of pages a week in his phonics book. We can do some math games on the fly. Those are easier for me to come up with something fun to do where he's still progressing. I will definitely have his eyes checked, too! Thanks for the suggestion.

It's just frustrating though, because he is soooo smart. I don't like to compare, but I think he's probably my smartest dc. Also, the ETC page, math page and reading from his phonics book are rarely done all together. I usually spread each out throughout the day. He still complains!

[coffeefreak]

I know you already decided what to do, but I just wanted to throw one (or two) more idea into the mix :) My dd didn't want to learn to read until this year (when I banned her older sister from reading to her:D). That has helped, but what really worked for us was Five in a Row. She loves to be read to, and it didn't FEEL like school KWIM?

Also, maybe it's the workbooks. Have you thought about borrowing or getting a used copy of something like Math U See? My oldest only does workbooks for Math and grammar NOW. Early on, she did not learn by doing workbooks and we were constantly crying. She did MUS for a while and then we moved on to Horizons when she was older and had the basics down. I did FIAR with her too and it was our saving grace.

As for my younger dd, we've set aside the ETC books for now because she's sick of them too, and we're doing A Beka's K5 workbook to reinforce phonics skills. We also use A Beka's Handbook for Reading. She LOVES that (I don't know why, but whatever works)! Switch things up, maybe you'll pique his interest with something else.

HTH!

[ElizabethB]

I have a fun game that is actually quite useful:

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Phonics/concentrationgam.html

And, I used Webster for my daughter in K. She really liked the work with the whiteboard, I never worked more than 10 minutes a day, and she can read out of the KJV of the Bible now, learning syllables and spelling at the same time as decoding is very powerful. And, you don't waste your time on stories or sentences, you just concentrate on the sounds and spellings, it makes your time much more efficient.

I explain how to use Webster's Speller here: http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/webstersway.html

[djbartch]

I have a fun game that is actually quite useful:

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Phonics/concentrationgam.html

And, I used Webster for my daughter in K. She really liked the work with the whiteboard, I never worked more than 10 minutes a day, and she can read out of the KJV of the Bible now, learning syllables and spelling at the same time as decoding is very powerful. And, you don't waste your time on stories or sentences, you just concentrate on the sounds and spellings, it makes your time much more efficient.

I explain how to use Webster's Speller here: http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/webstersway.html

This game looks like fun. We've done some of this type of stuff before, but never put it into a game which will help my son. Thanks for the suggestion.