A good friend etiquette

[Jean in Newcastle]

A good friend is coming to visit on Thursday afternoon. She often invites herself over (maybe once a month). She is married, not currently working and has no children. (None of which has any bearing on this except for the fact that she does not have the work load I do). I love seeing her (we used to live together during seminary). My dilemma - she often stays for three or four hours. She'll just sit on the couch and talk. Now, I have no problem talking to her for that long but I am swamped with things to do! Is it rude to set up the ironing board and work on the entire contents of my husband's closet that are sitting in there? Or to invite her into the kitchen to chat while I slice and dice? Again - I love seeing her and chatting with her and if it was only for an hour I could make a cup a tea (which we always make anyway) and sit without guilt or that feeling of doom from not getting anything done. What is "good friend etiquette" for this?

[Julie in CA]

When I greet my friends at the door, I often lead them straight back to the kitchen and continue with small "busy-work" while we visit. If it's really a good friend they'll probably welcome the more casual family atmosphere.
~Julie~

[Mom2GirlsTX]

Oh, she is a good friend, she won't care! If I were you, I would start ironing and if I finished that, move onto the kitchen. A good friend will realize that you are busy but that you are still sharing quality time together....just have the ironing board up and the pile of clothes sitting beside it, have your tea and then as she is talking, just start ironing away...don't ask for her permission!:)

[Janet in WA]

You know, I feel much more at home in someone else's home if they include me in their usual daily routines.

[Crissy]

I agree with the others, Jean. And you never know, maybe she'll pick up a knife and help you with your food prep.

[JennifersLost]

For a casual get-together it's perfectly all right!

[Puma Mom]

I don't think that would be rude at all. I would just be sure to let her know that it's a way for you to visit and get necessary things done vs. hint that she needs to leave.

[Michelle T]

I often fold laundry or whatever needs to be done while friends are over. And I certainly don't mind friends doing the same if I'm at their place.
Michelle T

[Amy in Orlando]

My good friends (even ones that visit infrequently) know I don't sit still well or long. I almost always drag out ironing or folding laundry, or getting dinner started when they visit. They don't seem to care.

[kalanamak]

If it were me, I'd introduce this new level of intimacy by having a task already started when she gets there, rather than popping up 30 minutes into the chat to get out the ironing board, and just keep plunging ahead with it and acting like all is right with the world.

If she makes the mistake of bringing this up, gaily reply that you are so happy to have her visit you didn't want to cancel just because you have to get blah-blah-blah done before such and such a time.

Even my extremely old-fashioned mother got used to the fact I would talk on the phone to her while cleaning the kitchen. Once I hit med school, it was that or no phone call, as I'd get attacks of the yawns if I sat down and did it the old, slow, polite way!

[Brigitte]

If it were me, I'd introduce this new level of intimacy by having a task already started when she gets there, rather than popping up 30 minutes into the chat to get out the ironing board, and just keep plunging ahead with it and acting like all is right with the world.

Yep, this is what I would do...

[Melissa in FL]

I would have no problems ironing while my friend was over. I think she'll understand, or at least think about it. I'm always doing things while company is over. I wish I could have time to just sit and chat, but the basic fact is I don't. I never feel guilty for getting the things I need to done, but I'm always letting the other person know how much I value the company. Something like "I'm just going to iron while we chat, it will make it go so much faster for me. I really love the company" I guess in my mind a true friend won't mind you multi-tasking as long as most of your attention is on her.
HTH
Melissa

[MNClaire]

My friends do the same with me when if I stop by (although I don't stay for four hours), and I have no problem if they work while I'm there. I usually jump in and help them. We're all really busy, so we have to make time...whatever works.

If she's really a good friend, I don't think she'd mind.