Please be honest....question about committing to buy off the sale board

[MommyInTraining]

If you tell someone you will buy something from them and then you find a better deal, is it wrong to tell them you don't want it anymore if you haven't sent them payment yet?

Thanks for honest answers!

[Sue G in PA]

if they could match the price of the better deal. So many times people get multiple responses anyway and have somebody else "waiting" for the sale to fall through. BUT, out of courtesy, I'd explain your situation and just ask if they'd match. We all understand financial restraints here and wanting the best deal!

[Linda...inOwasso]

Okay, I'll be the bad guy. :) Yes, I think it's wrong. A person of integrity would consider their word to be binding. Whether you've sent payment or not seems irrelevant to me. If you *agreed* to send payment and told the seller you wanted to purchase the product, then you've given your word.

I'm just giving you the advice I would give myself in the same situation. I'm sure your own conscience will guide you to the appropriate action. Take care!!

[Kim in TN]

I agree with Linda.

[Tina]

I'd stick with buying from the person I committed to, also.

[Eliana]

If you tell someone you will buy something from them and then you find a better deal, is it wrong to tell them you don't want it anymore if you haven't sent them payment yet?

Thanks for honest answers!

I think it is wrong.

I've always felt so, but it was made more personal a few months ago. We were preparing for move, and things were very, very challenging. I listed some items as FS/trade, with a preference for trade, and someone offered a trade - though there were people interested in buying, I didn't accept their interest, I set the items aside for this person.

She ended up not wanting to do the trade after all, and I no longer had the time or energy to relist my items, which are all still in their box in the garage of my new house.

I don't think a small savings is worth causing someone else the stress and inconvenience you could cause by backing out on a sale. Even if you discovered you had a copy on your shelves, you've made a commitment (though it that case I think it would be appropriate to ask if they are willing to relist, while reassuring them that you will honor your commitment.)

I also believe very strongly that we will never lose out by doing the right thing...

HTH,

Eliana

[Kris]

If you tell someone you will buy something from them and then you find a better deal, is it wrong to tell them you don't want it anymore if you haven't sent them payment yet?

Thanks for honest answers!

That's a tuffie -- because I'm *so* cheap! But I'm afraid I have to agree with most of the others and say it would be wrong to back out on the deal.

I was thinking that you could ask them if they have other offers in the works, or if it would be a real mess if you backed out, but thinking about it some more, I don't think that would be right, either. You've already agreed to the "deal" so it wouldn't be right to make them defend or justify why you should to ahead with what you already agreed. It might put them on the spot to where they felt the "right" thing would be to let you out of the agreement, even though they don't have anyone else interested, or had made special arrangements for you, etc., etc.

But I agree this would be really, really tough -- especially if the second deal is a *lot* better. Best of luck to you.

[Erica in OR]

Regarding the original post, I'd stick with what you agreed to.

I recently had the problem flip-flopped and found it irritating. I emailed a seller to ask to purchase books if they were still available and said I could pay through PayPal. The seller emailed me back, said yes, and gave me the email address for payment. I sent the payment almost immediately, and thought the deal was done. Later, I got an email through PayPal saying the money had been refunded, with a note from the seller that she wasn't going to sell after all.

Erica in OR

[Jackie in AR]

Okay, I'll be the bad guy. :) Yes, I think it's wrong. A person of integrity would consider their word to be binding. Whether you've sent payment or not seems irrelevant to me. If you *agreed* to send payment and told the seller you wanted to purchase the product, then you've given your word.

I'm just giving you the advice I would give myself in the same situation. I'm sure your own conscience will guide you to the appropriate action. Take care!!

I completely agree with this.

[GVA]

Once I committed to buy something on a swap board and then changed my mind. I emailed the seller and said that I had changed my mind, and asked if it was OK if I backed out. She said yes, and had a back-up buyer anyway. I've ordered things on Amazon, and then gone back a few hours later and cancelled the order. I've ordered things from Rainbow and sent them back as soon as they arrived.

I've sold well over 300 items on swap boards, eBay, and Amazon, and periodically buyers ask to bow out for various reasons, even as recently as last week. I always am agreeable because it just isn't a big deal to me.

Maybe I'm too laid back, but I just don't see that backing out to be that big a deal with a purchase. I'm picky on other things, but not that.

[Shari]

I'll be the odd (wo)man out and say, if you haven't sent the money, you are not obligated. I'd explain simply but honestly that you had changed your mind, and apologize for any inconvenience. As a seller, I'd rather have a buyer back out promptly and let me know than just disappear and leave me stuck.

[OnTheBrink]

I think the commitment to follow through should be met; however, things happen, money is tight. If someone honestly explains why they've changed their mind, I'm fine with it. It's less energy (for me) to extend grace and give the benefit of the doubt than to get upset over it.

It does bug me when someone commits and then just disappears.

[WTMindy]

I'll be the odd (wo)man out and say, if you haven't sent the money, you are not obligated. I'd explain simply but honestly that you had changed your mind, and apologize for any inconvenience. As a seller, I'd rather have a buyer back out promptly and let me know than just disappear and leave me stuck.
I suppose for me it depends on how much time has gone by. I really don't have strong feelings either way, but if I were the seller I would like the opportunity to match the lower price, but I wouldn't blame you for taking the lower price. I just wouldn't find this something to get upset about in the big scheme of things. :-0

[AllSmiles]

I believe that once you tell the seller you are buying their product you should follow through. If you wanted a better price on the item, you should have kept looking instead of agreeing to purchase. Now, if you were in communication with the seller, but had only expressed at interest, I think it would be reasonable to purchase from another party.

[countrykiddos]

I feel that once you have committed, you should follow through. I think exceptions would be personal tragedy, or dh coming home and saying "We'll need all of this week's paycheck to fix the car." Those things can't be helped and as a seller, I would totally understand that. But, for a better deal, I say you shouldn't change your mind.
Kim

[Kris]

I feel that once you have committed, you should follow through. I think exceptions would be personal tragedy, or dh coming home and saying "We'll need all of this week's paycheck to fix the car." Those things can't be helped and as a seller, I would totally understand that. But, for a better deal, I say you shouldn't change your mind.
Kim

I completely agree with this. Your family *has* to come first. If the money is unexpectedly needed elsewhere, I'd feel bad about canceling, but wouldn't hesitate to do so. A better deal, though -- that's not on the same level.

[coffeefreak]

I believe that once you tell the seller you are buying their product you should follow through. If you wanted a better price on the item, you should have kept looking instead of agreeing to purchase. Now, if you were in communication with the seller, but had only expressed at interest, I think it would be reasonable to purchase from another party.

I have to agree with this. As someone who buys and sells curriculum a lot (if we're not using it, it's as good as gone!), nothing is more irritating to have a buyer say they're committed and then back out or string me along. This happened to me recently. I had a buyer who said she was sending the money on Wed. When I didn't have the money a week and a half later, I e-mailed her. OOPS! She had forgotten to send it and they didn't get paid for another week, could I wait? I think that If you commit to buy, the payment should be made immediately. I sell curriculum to FUND my purchase of curriculum. When you make me wait, you're tying up my purchase. In addition to that, I've probably lost other buyers because I've told them I have a buyer. It's all just common courtesy.

Sorry if that sounds way harsh :o

[one l michele]

I have to agree with this. As someone who buys and sells curriculum a lot (if we're not using it, it's as good as gone!), nothing is more irritating to have a buyer say they're committed and then back out or string me along. This happened to me recently. I had a buyer who said she was sending the money on Wed. When I didn't have the money a week and a half later, I e-mailed her. OOPS! She had forgotten to send it and they didn't get paid for another week, could I wait? I think that If you commit to buy, the payment should be made immediately. I sell curriculum to FUND my purchase of curriculum. When you make me wait, you're tying up my purchase. In addition to that, I've probably lost other buyers because I've told them I have a buyer. It's all just common courtesy.

Sorry if that sounds way harsh :o

or disappear? I've had a lot of smooth transactions both selling and buying, but have also had a a couple like this post and it is frustrating.