need help with this dilema

[hpymomof3]

My dd goes to a private high school. Lately she has been completely swamped with schoolwork. She has worked diligently every night this weeks and has been up most nights until 11 or so doing homework. She has had her regular schoolwork to do so she hasn't had time to do work on her term paper. Tomorrow she has 10 source packets for a term paper due Friday night she stayed up until 11:30 doing work for her other subjects including writing another 3 page paper. Last night she stayed up until almost 1:00 working on these source packets. She has been working all morning on it too. I know that she is working hard and that it really is a lot of work that she needs to finish.

The dilema is that we have a graduation party for my nephew to go to this afternoon. My dd really wants to go with the family but hates to take anytime away from her schoolwork. I don't think it would be fair to insist that she stay home. On the other hand, I'm not sure if she can finish all of her work and I don't want her up past midnight on a school night.

We won't stay at the party long but it will probably take at least 2-3 hours out of our day. If at 11:00 tonight she still isn't done with the work do you think it would be appropriate to let her stay home from school tomorrow? The source packets are worth a test grade so it is very important.

The other issue is that I can tell that she is fighting being sick. Her younger sister just got over strep so I don't want to add that into the mix. She tends to get sick when she is over tired.

[Chris in VA]

I wouldn't insist she stay home, but I'd give her a minimum that you need to see done before she can go.
And, no, I would not let her stay home tomorrow. She has to learn to sacrifice her own desires, and that work comes first.
On the other hand, she does sound quite diligent. I guess what you do with the party might also depend on how well she has been using her time. Time management is a great skill, but it doesn't get developed until it's actually put into practice--like praying for patience! lol
I would use this as an opportunity for conversation after Monday, about managing her workload. I'd actually sit down with her and do a time study--how much time do things actually take in her day? I found a lot of wasted time in mine when I did this as part of MotH.

[hpymomof3]

Actually I meant it a point to specifically monitor her work this weekend. She didn't seem to lose concentration or fool around. For the amount of work she had to do Friday night I can see why it took her that long.

This morning I spent awhile with her talking about what she needed to get done. Since she had to do 10 source packets she worked last night until she had completed 5, which I thought was reasonable. Today she wants to complete another 5. As far as the actual work that she has to do I looked through some of the questions, etc. that she had to research. I looked over the books that she had and also tried to find information online. The problem with the books is that she has to read through a lot of information to find what she is looking for (time consuming). With the online sources (she needs 5) it's really hard to find a website that will work out. They are limited as to which websites they can use. Many of the websites look good on the search but then end up sending you to another website that doesn't work out. She also needs to be able to answer 5 different questions for each source so if she finds a source and is only able to answer 4 questions she can't even use that source. I worked alongside with her this morning. I didn't do the work but watched what she did and as far as I could tell she wasn't doing anything wrong. It is just time consuming.

[hpymomof3]

The other problem about the party is that my brother already paid for my whole family so if dd doesn't go he is out the money. We don't have the best relationship to begin with so if dd doesn't go, it will cause more problems. Of course I have to do what is best for her.

[RoughCollie]

That's exactly what I would do. I would let my child stay home tomorrow. I wouldn't wait until 11 pm to decide, either.

Is she sleep-deprived? I think it's awful that she has that much schoolwork to do after school.

If at 11:00 tonight she still isn't done with the work do you think it would be appropriate to let her stay home from school tomorrow? The source packets are worth a test grade so it is very important.

[Claire]

I have occasionally let my dd stay home a day from school to catch up on homework. Actually, my mother used to let me stay home from school anytime I wanted to, so I was accustomed to having this option even in elementary school (not that I am proposing anyone else do this!!!). I still believe that the parent is the most knowledgeable about an individual child's needs, not the school or school teachers.

Anyway, IMO the best thing for your dd is to go to the family dinner and stay home Monday to rest (so she doesn't get sick) and catch up on homework. It's fine to have an ideal, but reality has to come into play now and then......

[RoughCollie]

That's exactly what I would do. I would let my child stay home tomorrow.

Is she sleep-deprived? I think it's awful that she has that much schoolwork to do after school. In the PS here, the high schoolers have 3-5 hours of hw every night.


If at 11:00 tonight she still isn't done with the work do you think it would be appropriate to let her stay home from school tomorrow? The source packets are worth a test grade so it is very important.