I'd like to apologise

[Laura Corin]

I hope it wasn't in writing, maybe it was only in my head, I used to think that people who were overwhelmed by managing a home/running errands /getting kids to activities/ teaching were..... exaggerating perhaps?

Well, I'm having my come-uppance. For the first time since Calvin was six months old I'm living without household help. It's hard, it's busy (even with only two children) and I'm sorry I was unsympathetic in the past.

Laura

[TraceyS/FL]

Oh man.... that has got to be a hard adjustment.

:grouphug:

I could use help for a few weeks.....

[Mom2legomaniacs]

Oh sweetie, I don't think you ever seemed unsympathetic, from my point of view anyway. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I know that is a hard adjustment. It is challenging to move into unfamiliar waters like you have.

As far as thinking it in your head. Well, life has a way of helping you face those things at times, doesn't it. I have BTDT quite a bit more than I would like to admit.

Hang in there dear. You are an amazing woman who will do well, I am sure!

[Tammy in Germany]

:iagree:I feel for you...it's a huge adjustment! Hang in there! :grouphug:

[sleepy]

oh, Laura - I certainly never thought you came across that way.

It is hard doing it all, though, isn't it? :grouphug:

[JudoMom]

:grouphug: Laura. I never sensed that from you, so I think you did a good job of keeping those thoughts to yourself :001_smile:.

I hope the adjustment becomes easier! Not having the help you're accustomed to would be hard enough, but add in the major move and it's got to be overwhelming (or at least close to)! I think I'd be in a corner eating chocolate looking quite...unapproachable :tongue_smilie:.

[runningirl71]

:grouphug: to you Laura. I've never really sensed you being this way either. And, from someone who so understands where you're coming from, that group hug is a really, really big one! I'm still bemoaning/missing my "Ayi" and it has been two and a half years since we've moved back. I CAN say that it gets easier. Okay. Okay. I lied. It doesn't get easier, expectations change! There. I said it. :) But, as expectations change, stress will be reduced! Really. :)

~from someone who was fanatic about cleanliness/tidiness until she had to do it all on her own!

{"Ayi" means Auntie in Chinese and is an affectionate term that could be used for a lady working in your home, for those who don't speak Chinese but are always willing to learn something new!:)}

[8FillTheHeart]

Ah, Laura, every single ex-pat I know that has had household help has suffered from "withdrawal" as part of their "re-culturization."

You'll get the hang of it soon enough.

BTW.....if you felt that way interiorly, it never showed in your posts. Conversely, when I read posts about people with 2 little kids feeling that way, I have to work very hard at diplomatically hiding my sarcasm. :tongue_smilie:

It's all in the perspective.:D

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

I totally miss my cleaning lady and she's been gone for 7 years. If I had full time household help and lost it I would be a total mess.

Hang in there!!!!!!

[Heather in the Kootenays]

Yup, I've seen many many expats going through this sort of withdrawal. My personal expat withdrawal is not having cheap, wonderful Chinese food just down the block. It was 20 years ago and I'm still whining.

:grouphug:

[Dayle in Guatemala]

:grouphug:It's hard re-adjusting to life on the "outside" isn't it? Even when we were home for a visit this last February, I struggled with so much I was surprised. I can't imagine what it would be like to readjust to living there full-time right now. (and I do all my cleaning--even then it would be hard to get used to all the running around)

[Tammyla]

No, your manners always shine through. Looks like it was only in your head, and :001_smile: life has a way of helping us see ourselves a little more clearly at times. Hang in there moving is always an adjustment.

[Jennifer3141]

:grouphug: to all of us! This parenting stuff is hard, hard work - no matter how you do it.

Jen

[Lovedtodeath]

Thanks. I am just jealous!!

[Karin]

:grouphug: Laura, it's never showed. It is a big adjustment.

As for people having difficulty with smaller families, I think of a point made in Cheaper the Dozen; people had difficulty spending time with such a large family unless they'd grown up in one or got used to it one child at a time. Plus, some of us are more organiziationally challenged than others. There is a very good reason why I would never, never, never become a classroom teacher for young children even in the best school out there and why I don't volunteer to do Children's Fellowship with a large group of kids (but will happily do a stage act to entertain them). Yet there's a mother of one of the girls my dd dances with who works as a nanny and never gets tired of working with a half a dozen children (hers plus the kids she takes care of.

[Jenn in Mo]

You know, even if you did come across with that attitude (which I NEVER saw out of you, so that's a big IF,) it probably just jump-started a load of laundry. Whenever I get close to the doldrums, running across someone who doesn't "get" why I'm having trouble tends to make me shake off the sluggishness and get moving. I think "People all over the world are successfully juggling cooking, cleaning, teaching, and potty-training (or whatever.) It's not always a breeze, but it is obviously do-able. So I do it.

Sometimes.

I try anyway.

The funny thing is, if someone told me something were impossible, the rebellious streak in me would strive to prove them wrong. Something "do-able" just doesn't seem to inspire the same aggressive action.:tongue_smilie:

And, I'm so thrilled to see this post because the doldrums were knocking (I have a sick kiddo today which laid all my plans to waste) and this has perked me back up. I'm on a mission again!

[Zelda]

I've never seen anything of that nature in your posts.

But, we've most of us had to eat our words and thoughts at some time.

You'll find your sea legs soon, I'm sure. You strike me as very capable.

[Kalah]

Nope, Laura, it was just in your head. I feel for ya' though. It must be hard to adjust!

[Osmosis Mom]

wherever you house help went, send her over to me. I'll take her. I have always been too arrogant (or oppositional since my bio-mother had a house cleaner instead of doing er own house) to ever consider one, but now I am sort of fed UP with this ongoing never-ending cycle of cleaning and picking up, lol!!!!!

So, people do change!

[Cadam]

I don't think you have ever come across that way, but I have been insanely jealous of your previous circumstance in the past. I am sure it is a huge adjustment and you didn't get to make it a little at a time as they grew, you just have to jump right in - bummer. :grouphug:

[LG Gone Wild]

In fact, I think my dad is still going through this. We used to have an aya (housekeeper), an askari (guard), a driver, and a gardener.

But I am glad you consider it hard work because it makes my internal whining feel oh so justified. :D I was starting to despair that I was just a woefully inadequate housekeeper, mom, K-teacher, 4th teacher, chef, chauffeur, personal assistant to dh, and daycare provider.

[PinkInTheBlue]

I've never noticed that coming from you. ((Hugs)) to you for going through this. I can't imagine how tough it must be. I'm looking to soon hire a housekeeper so I hope to be going in the opposite direction. :) I really appreciate and accept what and how you said it though. It was a really nice gesture and I know you can make it. You're tough stuff! LOL ;)

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Ah, Laura, every single ex-pat I know that has had household help has suffered from "withdrawal" as part of their "re-culturization."



You can definitely put me into this category. I had no idea my kids were so messy in the bathroom until I had to wipe the floor myself.

I really miss my housekeeper, she helped things run so smoothly. It was much easier to do homeschooling when I didn't have to also clean up the lunch dishes or vacuum or do laundry.