Wedding invite, friend from the past WWYD?

[Prairie~Phlox]

A person that I am friends with, but haven't seen in about 6 years is getting married. I got an invite, will not attend because of distance and feel that if we were going to reconnect, I'd rather do it some other time, than at a wedding that I really wouldn't get to see her IYKWIM. So, do I need to send a gift? Should I send a gift? what should I send if I do? Things are kind of tight. I have a "trademark" gift that I give, I always give a mirror when someone gets married and we attend the wedding. (I buy them at Hobby Lobby when on sale & add some personalization) It's been a well received gift, it's was taken from us recieving a mirror as a gift and I thought it was great. But if I did that, I'd have to pay more to ship it. (heavier, fragile, etc) Another thing I thought would be cool is one of the wall sayings that you can get at Hobby Lobby and are in those tubes, the words that you put on the wall.

Anyway, what do you think? gift, no gift, if so what??

Thanks,
Phlox

[RoughCollie]

I would send a card. No gift.

[krazzymommy]

I would send a card. No gift.

I think I'd have to agree, considering the circumstances.

[Tammy in Germany]

I think the card is appropriate but I wouldn't send a gift in this case.

[strider]

I'd go with a card, no gift. Write something warm and heartfelt referencing good times together in the past.

[WendyK]

A card is fine.

[Tracey in TX]

Card and small gift. Your trademark mirror sounds marvelous, but would cost a small fortune to mail. What about a trinket or small picture frame?

[Prairie~Phlox]

Thanks everyone. I picked up a card at the Christian Bookstore today.

Blessings,
Phlox

[bumbledeb]

I'd go with card and small gift. I don't know about where you are, but here it is customary to give a gift if you received an invitation, whether or not you attend.

[TeacherZee]

I would send a card. No gift.

:iagree: As does my cousin. We had this discussion over the summer.

[Ellie]

The only thing you need to do is RSVP. You may send a gift if you really want to, but you are under no obligation whatsoever to send a gift.

[PinkInTheBlue]

Have you talked to this person much during that 6 years? If not, I'd most definitely say no gift. Just my opinion but sending an invite for someone you have seen or talked to in 6 years is tacky. It seems like gift begging but it might not be. But, maybe I'm wrong and this is someone you have had occasional verbal contact with. In that case, it would be whatever you feel like. I definitely agree that a card sounds best. :)

[Prairie~Phlox]

Have you talked to this person much during that 6 years? If not, I'd most definitely say no gift. Just my opinion but sending an invite for someone you have seen or talked to in 6 years is tacky. It seems like gift begging but it might not be. But, maybe I'm wrong and this is someone you have had occasional verbal contact with. In that case, it would be whatever you feel like. I definitely agree that a card sounds best. :)

No I haven't, I sometimes get bulk e-mail updates and I've written twice just asking how things were going and more about the guy she is marrying, I finally got a response and it was like, "fine here, just busy, busy busy." Nothing really significant or even personal. I think I got invited more to just let me know about the wedding and not really, like send me a gift. They are both older and from what I can tell, he has a son, so he is probably divorced and it's his second marriage.

Thanks,
Phlox

[snickelfritz]

The wall saying sounds like a great idea.

ETA: My reasoning. To give them the benefit of the doubt.....many people put a lot of emotional attachment to weddings. They think of people that had a special place in their life, even if they aren't in touch. I went to a college friends wedding when I hadn't talked to her in 2 years (not as long as 6, but still.) I actually even went to a wedding shower and I had a wonderful time reconnecting with her and several other old friends. It's a minor thing to send a gift or a card and it shows that you are still thinking of them. If the gift is a hardship, send a card with a lengthy handwritten message. Congratulations. Maybe an update.

[abbeyej]

I would send a gift as well as a card, if I could possibly afford something small. Perhaps just some small item from their registry? You don't *have* to, and you certainly shouldn't do something that will strap you financially... But if a small item is doable, go for it. It doesn't need to be your "signature" gift.