Here's something I'm pondering: Is your ps'er an "A" student...or something else

[Doran]

I'll explain where this is coming from. Our girls are complete opposites when it comes to learning styles. One learns quickly and easily from books. The other struggles to learn from books, however it is she who is the most organized, the most punctual, the most likely to understand a set of directions given verbally, the first time! I love that they are so different, and I have no doubt that both will be fine in life -- eventually. But now...right now...the first child is breezing along in public school, not even working very hard and getting mostly A's while the second child is working pretty hard, "doing her best" and still coming home with B's and C's. I want to be okay with those average scores. I want to send a message to my "non-academic daughter" that those are great scores, and that I'm proud of her work. But, in my heart of hearts, I'm disappointed that she can't do better. Or isn't doing better. I'm wrestling with the reality that I feel like her grades somehow reflect on me as her teacher for the past 8 years -- but my intellect knows that's ridiculous and vain. I wonder how/if I'll come to accept that this may be as good as it gets. And, I'm wishing for something along the lines of "A for effort", and all that. :001_huh:

I realize that's not how public school works -- it tends to reward the more traditional learners and frustrate those like my second born. So maybe this is as good as it gets.

I just wondered how your students "are", and how you respond to whatever that is.


Peace,

[Cadam]

Her grades don't reflect on you but rather on just the way school works in a group setting. In a different context their grades would be reversed. In fact, in a college class where the professor will not verbally repeat the information in the text, this will be the case.

[Anne]

I have this dynamic!! One strong "traditional" visual learner. One strong non-traditional heavily auditory learner.

My auditory dd has learned to verbalize the information she's studying - recite it, to summarize it to herself out loud, and whenever possible, to discuss the subject matter with someone. This increases her retention rate dramatically.

Anne

[Doran]

I have this dynamic!! One strong "traditional" visual learner. One strong non-traditional heavily auditory learner.

My auditory dd has learned to verbalize the information she's studying - recite it, to summarize it to herself out loud, and whenever possible, to discuss the subject matter with someone. This increases her retention rate dramatically.

Anne


She was very slow to learn to read (dyslexia-like symptoms), and struggles in all "traditional academic situations". Cadam, I'm not sure how she'll fare in a college setting, because she'll not only be required to absorb the spoken lecture, but read the material on her own - a reality which could weigh too heavily on her. Luckily, that's 6 years off! :D Anyway, I notice that often when dd reads to herself, she actually reads aloud, just in a whisper. But if you look at her, you can see her mouth moving, and you can, if you listen, hear her. She obviously knows that this helps her concentrate, so I'll have to encourage her to use that system more when she studies.

[Mallorie]

Is this their first year in public school? My first thought is that it might not be your children, it may be the teachers. We've had teachers that were quick to give out "A's", and we've had teachers that dock points for every little thing (mis-spelling, punctuation, etc), so that would bring the grade down.

My older son had a third grade teacher that he got the worst grades with. But he learned the most from her, and we all really liked her, because she was a huge stickler on things. For the first time, my easy-learner was accountable for the details.

I also whole-heartedly agree with Cadam. That is the situation this year. As the girls get older, they may reverse. I think the ones that work harder, go farther, because they don't always expect things to be a breeze. Whereas the ones who have always had it easy don't know what to do when they have to suddenly work to figure something out.

I wouldn't worry about your dd with the lower grades. Those marks are just fine, and she obviously is working on doing her best. If her attitude about it is positive, I would just change your own. :)

[Tabrett]

This is the first year of high school for my dd and she is like your dc. She works very hard.
It's the hard workers that do well in college. The kids use to getting A's and never working are the ones in for a rude awakening when they get to college.
Also in college you get to take more classes that you have an interest and/or are talented in. This also makes a difference. Lets say you are going to major in music. In high school you get to take band or chorus every year. The high school really doesn't care about your music classes. They get them in the schedule after everything else that is "important" has been given the best places. 1 class a year in music, but you have to take math for 3 years in high school. In college you take half your class in music and only 1 math class for your 4 years of college. See the difference. In high school your child is HAVING to do classes that they may not necessarily have a talent or gift in. Also in college if your don't like the teaching method a teacher uses, you can drop the class and retake it with another teacher (I learned that the hard way, but it only took 1 semester befor I figured that out). You can't do that in high school.

High school ONLY cares about how well your child performs in 4 academic classes and doesn't take in account talent, creativity or work ethic. Real life does! It doesn't matter how smart your are in your job. If you don't put forth effort and get it done, your're going to get fired!

If they would only give a standarized test in music and grade students vocal tone, voice projection, site reading music skills, ect... My child would feel very smart:). And a lot of the "smart" kids would feel really, should I say,.... dumb?

There is so much more to a person that the 4 "academic" subjects.

[Doran]

Yes, it's their first year of public school (discounting our oldest's one year in first grade 8 years ago!). I do so well at worrying, so I'm sure you're right that I can relax a bit and expect that things will settle in. What an adventure this whole thing is!!

I appreciate the feedback from each of you.

[hpymomof3]

My oldest dd is a junior in high school. She got straight A's and a few A+ her first 3 semesters and all A's with one B+ her 2nd semester sophomore year. She was devastated by the B+. She is bright but I wouldn't say that school comes easy to her. She studies hard and has a great work ethic.

My middle daughter will be going to a private high school next year for her freshman year. She is also bright and in fact is probably a stronger math and science student then her older sister. On the other hand I don't think she has the drive that her older sister does. If she can't find an answer to a problem she wants to give up right away. Quite honestly I am worried about how she is going to do next year. She is worried that she won't get A's like her sister but I said that is ok. Yes it would be great if she could get A's and B's but C's are ok. I just want her to do her best but her older sister is a hard act to follow.