how have you handled teacher conferences?

[Jodi-FL]

without being too condescending? our oldest 6 are in school for the first time in 10 years. the high schoolers and middle schooler are fine. they are learning some new things, or at least in different ways, and are really enjoying the social aspect of it, and they enjoy busy work.

It's the elementary kids that have me concerned. My kindergartner is so way beyond the rest of the kids in his class. He's reading on a 2nd grade level, knows his colors/shapes/letters/numbers. I don't really want him to be moved up, but I want him to be challenged too. I help in his class 2 hours a week, and it just kills me to see him be bored, even though he's well behaved.

the 4th grader is reading dumb books because they have quizzes attached to them where he can earn points. the teacher set his point goal to be 35 points for the first 9 weeks. it's been 4 weeks and he he has almost 400 points. that just kills me because he was working through our collection of Landmark books (he was so fascinated with the one on the FBI and Shakespeare) but alas, he's put them away because there's no point quiz associated with them. they do spelling words picked randomly from a story, they don't do spelling rules.

so do I bring these concerns up? if so, how without sounding like a know it all?

[LibrarianMom]

Be honest but willing to work within the system. For your kindergarten student, you have probably noticed that he/she is not the only one who is familiar with the content. If you are there several hours a week, ask if you can work with them on an extra project or different item so that the teacher/aide/other volunteers can work with those who are struggling. Ask if your child can read a story to the class or share some other interesting items with the class.

For your 4th grader, ask for a list of the books with quizzes. Your school should be able to provide a list of books that they have quizzes for and the reading level. You will be surprised at the number of good and interesting classic books that are included. I know because I was the administrator of such a program at a previous job. 35 points seems low but is what is doable for all students in the class. Keep in mind that point totals for each book are based on a combination of the reading level and the interest level of a book. For example, Little Women was, I believe, a 36 point book. You could also volunteer to create quizzes (10-20 question multiple choice on big picture facts about the book) for books they don't have quizzes for yet. Ask to take a quiz on something you've read recently out loud to your children in order to get a feel for what the tests are like as they really do make sure you have read the entire book and remember the facts.

Keep in mind that you can always ask you child to read something separate at home or since he is finished with his points for this quarter, that he can read whatever he wants.

[Hillary in KS]

I think as long as you come across with a spirit of concern and "How can we make this work?" you won't sound condescending.

I used to teach using the reading program you're discussing, and I loved it (as a teacher). But, your child is showing that simply setting his reading goal by points is not working for him. And, as Librarian Mom pointed out, there are many, many quality books listed as well.

SO. Present your concerns (I see Johnny is accumulating lots of points, but he's not really being challenged. how can we adjust his goal?). You could increase his point goal, but he may simply choose books he can breeze through to get easy points. You can:

1. Set a reading level limit. Johnny can only test on books with levels between 4.5 and 6.0, for example. The teacher can see the average level of books he's reading and come up with a range that will challenge him, but still be below his tested reading level.

2. Set a genre challenge. Johnny can read books in his level, but must read 1 book in each of the following genres before the end of the quarter, maybe.

3. Set a goal of high-point books, or a selected reading list. Johnny must read 5 5-point books within his reading level.

That way he's reading and able to test, but he has goals that will target his skills.

As for the kindergartener, I'd just ask the teacher, "How can he be challenged?" Though the teacher will probably struggle with doing that. It's hard to challenge the advanced student when you're so focused on pulling up those who are struggling.

And, personally, I'd ask that your dh attend conferences with you, especially the elementary ones, so he can hear you ask the questions and hear what the teachers' responses are.

Good luck!

[BabyBre]

Great ideas from LibrarianMom!

I found myself in a similar position last year with my K and 1st graders. Luckily, kindergarten was only half day and I had time in the afternoon to do challenging activities with ds. But my 1st grader was sorely let down by her teacher, despite her teacher's promise to me that she would receive additional challenges in the classroom. Consequently, I also feel like I let dd down because I didn't push her teacher hard enough to follow through with that. I took her at her word.

Ds has this same teacher for 1st grade this year that dd had last year and I intend to be very annoying if I have to to get him challenged. I too am in the classroom often and the teacher has had me read with the kids on leveled readers to get a ballpark number of their ability for each one. They put ds at Running Record Level 16 (that's grade 1, month 6) but only because that's as high as they had time to test him last year. When I read the levelled books with him last week he read the highest, level 40 with ease, yet she's got him listed to start on level 18 books. Grrrrr!

I think I have a hard time not sounding like a know-it-all, so I try to play dumb and say a lot of things like, "I hope I'm not stepping on your toes," or "Please know that I don't mean any offense, but..." or something to that effect because I think it makes the school staff more cooperative. But this year, I went straight to the principal. I'm not really too worried about offending anyone any more. It's my kids I'm concerned with.

And I'm not waiting until conference time to push my kids' teachers. By that time a quarter of the year is gone.

Good luck!

[Chris in VA]

I understand about the challenge aspect. Dd has leveled reading--the books in her classroom only go up Level G, and that's just Magic Treehouse and Bev Cleary books--about 2 grade levels below her comfortable reading level. I feel like the teacher doesn't really think she's reading that well--I don't see her pulling in any other books. When I asked her if she'd like some children's abridged classics (I described them as such, and said they were 3-5th grade in reading level) she looked at me like I was insane. She has several hundred books in her class--which is great, but they are all too easy for dd!

I don't want her to see me as a pushy parent, one who "hothoused" her kid--but honestly! What a waste of a year. Even math is too easy.

[BabyBre]

She has several hundred books in her class--which is great, but they are all too easy for dd!

I don't want her to see me as a pushy parent, one who "hothoused" her kid--but honestly! What a waste of a year. Even math is too easy.


That's my story! That's exactly what I went through with dd last year with her 1st grade teacher. I ended the year with many regrets that I didn't get pushier and insist that she do her job with my dd as well as the ones who are at or below grade level. Why should they be the only kids who receive what they need in the classroom?

Yes, 1st grade was a huge waste of dd's time, sitting practically idle for 6 hours a day while I could have been teaching her volumes at home. Her teacher had already pegged me for a hovering, medling homeschool parent and I didn't push as hard as I wanted to. Looking back, I feel that stepping up to bat for my dd is far more important than trying not to offend a teacher she'll have for only one year and isn't doing her job anyway.

2nd grade is proving to be much more dd's speed - there's a huge jump in the curriculum at this school between 1st and 2nd grades, combined with the fact that I think dd's gap over the rest of her agemates has narrowed over the last couple years (not all spent in ps) so that she's not nearly as far ahead of them now as she was in kindergarten.

[EarleneW]

Does the teacher not allow them to go to the library and get books? All 3 of mine that are in schools teachers have an extensive library in their classes, but the kids are also allowed to go to the school library when they have free time to check out whatever they wish.
As for the testing, all of mine do AR tests and can test on any book on the AR list and get points for it. Obviously the harder books are more points. I would for sure ask the teachers questions on all of this.

[purplecow7]

Been there, done that and now own the t-shirt. First never ever use the B word when talking to the teacher. (bored) even sometimes using the word unchallenged the teacher hears it as bored.

This was the reason why I started afterschooling. In first grade my ds came home and cried because he got in trouble for looking at the middle of the math book. He would not do the work and get 70% because he turned his mind off. So we did EPGY at home and told him he could talk in class but not to get caught. We also worked on doing the work even if he did not want too. It was a struggle for two years until he got into a GT program in third grade. My son was all about the math. He was reading above his age level, but it was not his thing...and writing at grade level. What we did for my son was to be part of the solution not the problem. My dh offered to come in and do math with a group of children. The teacher said yes and he would pull-out 2 groups of 6 kids and do critical thinking math skills. This allowed the teacher to help the more struggling students and allowed my son to get more math. And dh would teach the forbidden things to the kids. Like teaching a first grader multiplication because that can not be taught until third grade. It was a win, win all around.

Now dd entered 1st grade and after the first day of having the book, "My Dog can Talk" a book she read when she was 4 as her reading material. We put a few Magic Tree House books in her back pack, emailed the teacher and off she went. Now she is my writer so she will write pages and pages of stories instead of the three sentences so for her school is fun and interesting because of the art, coloring, projects (gluing and pasting) and she loves to read. Now in second grade, we learned are lesson so we just put a few of her books in her back pack and off she went. Since the beginning of school she has been reading Harry Potter. She is currently on book 7. Now part of my is concerned because that means that mostly all she is doing is reading when her work is finished. But she loves school and she gets to do alot of art, science and her current teacher used to be a third grade teacher so she seems to be bringing home more challenging math problems -critical thinking ones then just what is 11+2. We also afterschool her and she is currently doing EPGY.

The teacher are required to teach certain things and at our school they were not allowed to give more difficult math work only critical thinking skills within the standard of Learning. Also for us the ratio was 26 to 1 and that is very difficult for a teacher to do individual plans for all children. We also have the reading testing problem. It is a bogus number because if you max out the test they can not give you the next grade up. So my suggestion is figure out how you can be part of the solution.

[smilesonly]

I'm so glad I found this forum!:)

Thanks, for all of the wonderful posts! So good to know there are others "out there" dealing with the same issues. It's so hard to feel normal! :D

[mchel210]

I had my conference with my 2 kids teachers. My hubby went along. For my K almost 6 year old...she is also way beyond the class. I had her gifted tested and turned in all her papers the first week of school. I KNOW that is the ONLY reason the school is putting her in harder work.

She doesnt want to skip to first...but the teacher wants her moved and says she is not doing enough in K. I know the principal doesnt believe in jumping but she only misses the cut off by a few months and is beyond the 1st grade work as well.

During our conf. the teacher showed us her first grade reading book and agreed to bump her reading book up even higher as it was too simple. She is doing great with everything else. We work at home and she does tons of reading with me. I havent pushed our own HS books yet...but I think Im going back next week with her and her sister.

My 2nd grader was bored out of her mind as well and after a bunch of emails to the ESE person for Gifted...they bumped her up as well. They moved her to the 3rd grade reading and math group. It is still pretty simple but more or less where she left off at the end of Abeka 2. The reading and assignments are super simple...but I told her just to continue writing the way I showed her and not as simple as the rest of the class. I think the teacher didnt care about what we had done at home. She didnt seem to want to hear about her levels or anything as she is doing her own testing. I had to bite my tounge there as I really dont agree. My dd was shutting down and acting like everything was way to hard...even though we completed a lot of it 2 years ago. Ughh....Either way...she is doing much better now...and I have her back reading her Sonlight books again full time.

The only reason I did the gifted testing was because in Fl they have to give them harder curriculum but they wouldnt do it for just being in a regular class not considered gifted. Thats so stupid...but that was what the problem was there. They arent giving her additional work to everyone else...but really bumping her levels up. I am thankful for that. It is esp. helpful for my 5 yo who is doing work on 2nd grade level. I am lucky that she has a wondeful teacher who is working a little harder with her.

[debbiec]

Ok, I'm going to be the one to be less enthusiastic about this ~ (my kids are 14 and 12 now).

If your teacher works with you to up the work ~ great. However, after years of advocating for my kids (on both ends of the special ed spectrum ~ "gifted" and learning disabilities) ~ I'm tired. Teachers appreciate your enthusiasm (sp?) and are thankful you care about education. However, realistically, they usually cannot (and there are exceptions out there) provide everything you would want for your child. I have learned from experience and many others ahead of me, that at some point you just have to take up the job of educating your children in the things that you want for them that they are not getting at school, at home. I could go on about all the lessons learned about this, but I'll spare you :)

When you do that, I have found it better to work with the grain, than against it. If they are working on something at school, just read (at YOUR child's grade level) extra on it at home. Do projects at home that supplement what they are learning at school. If you want, ask the teacher if they can bring it in. Education is never wasted, even if it's not "shown off" or "graded" at school.

Of course, they do have AR programs for all grade levels at one school. As you have already been told ~ just ask for them. And for the record, I have a lot of friends who are K - 3 teachers (public and private), it's really not that unusual for kids to be "above" grade by several years, coming into K and 1. Much of it depends on your school zoning and the demographics of your zone. Kids start leveling out in 3rd a little more, than they do in K - 2. So much of that has to do with their Pre-K experience at home or other (which is why our state has been trying to mandate Pre-K programs for all kids in our state ~ good grief).

Not trying to rain on anyone's parade here. I just remember being a young parent and all the enthusiam about my child's academic achievements, all the meetings we had with teachers and the school, etc. Just be careful. My "gifted" son just started 9th grade this year. He tested out gifted in K and went to gifted programs for years. He was years ahead in reading, math and everything across the board. He was always top of his class, bored, we had his work upped where we could, etc. But, here we are in 9th grade. That "gifted" label serves your child well in elementary, to get serviced better, but in high school, it means nothing. He is struggling along with all the other students (he's at a academic magnet high school). Looking back, I'm not sure how much it really mattered that I was at the school involved and advocating for his education. We still tried to be parents that self educated our family by reading, trips, etc... would that have been enough? I'll never really know.

Anyway, just some caution and thoughts ~ Debbie

[LibrarianMom]

We had a really good conference with dd's teacher yesterday. I really appreciated that she asked if dd enjoys school and did express concern that she wasn't sure how much she was actually teaching dd this year. She seemed to appreciate the fact that we read a lot at home and encouraged us to keep it up. I did ask if there was anything she would prefer we not do with dd at home. The only thing she asked is that we not teach dd cursive because of the bad habits that can form. There are so many other things that I want to do with my children that I think I can live with that. ;)