Can we indulge in a bit of introspection? Do you ever imagine your 80 year old self?

[Crissy]

What do you see when you picture yourself as an elderly woman or man?

I've had several conversations in recent weeks with friends and family about the tendencies we see in our older relations. For the most part the view is not terribly flattering.
Nagging. Gossipy. Stubborn. Unreasonable. Ill-informed. And on it goes.

Surely these aunts, uncles, friends and grandparents weren't like this in their younger days. Were they?
If not, what are the circumstances that brought them here?

The questions my husband and I have been tossing around center on how we will retain our tenacious, independent selves even in our later years. In sickness and in health. ;) How will we be positive and supportive of our adult children? How will we continue to learn and grow, rather than to simply allow the days to pass.

Which brings me to my questions for you.
Do you see yourself as strong and independent in the golden years? How hard do you think it will be to attain such a goal (barring illness, of course). Do you think it takes a certain amount of intention to remain so?
Will you continue to learn and think and discuss important issues, or will it be time to relax and allow your television to provide all the entertainment and information you will need in your later years?

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

I live by this: I am today laying the foundation of who I will be tomorrow. I am becoming the woman I will someday be. As surely as the furrow between my brow will be permanent if I live with a perpetual frown (aka My face will freeze that way!), so my character will surely be permanently petulent and self-centered unkind and quarrelsome if I indulge those traits today. I can argue that those traits are healthy expressions and surely I am entitled to my feelings and snarliness-es. But yeah, they will mark me.

Intention? You bet. Every **** day.

I want to be a kind, loving, patient old lady. Which means I better practice being her today. Because I'm sure not there yet.

[Daisy]

Hmm, my older relatives are none of those things. I hold my older relations in very high esteem. I guess I've always hoped to be just like them. Devout, prayerful, thankful, resourceful, patient, baking, grandma types. LOL.

I hope to be so much more than I am now and I imagine that is going to take some work on my part.

[Kelli in TN]

Neither of my grandmothers had any of those traits. Neither did my grandfathers. I would be happy to be like either of my grandmothers.

I am not independent now, so I doubt I will ever be. But a lack of independence does not have to be the same thing as being a burden. My paternal grandmother was never independent, my uncle cared for her after my grandfather died. But she gave back to him as much as he gave to her. She was the type that you wanted to take care of! She was gentle and quiet and just...peaceful.

My maternal grandmother was fairly independent until the end. She was full of humor; kind of loud, kind of silly, just very, very fun.

My inlaws are so very gossipy that when I grew that big tumor (remember that weird summer) I actually wanted to keep it a secret. I really tried to convince my husband that I could have surgery in Memphis and chemo if needed and never let them know!! He did not agree.:rolleyes:

To answer your question, I think gossipy older people were probably gossipy when they were young. I think grumpy people were probably grumpy all along. I think upbeat positive people were upbeat and positive in their youth.

I think you will be who you are now, only with laugh lines, gray hair, and great stories to tell!

[Plaid Dad]

This may sound morbid or defeatist, but I have never assumed I would live that long. My dad died at 59 and my mom was 75.

But if I did, I would hope to be one of those jolly old men who love children and animals and spend a lot of their time kicked back with their hands folded over their bellies, beaming at nothing. :)

[j.griff]

I will be the eccentric old grandma, period. I hope I don't nag, I hope I will be very involved in my community, I hope I am someone relatives WANT to visit and talk with. I plan to keep learning, and always be open to knew ideas- my family is pretty intolerant, but yet they are pushovers. They do things for each other, but ***** about it the whole time, behind that persons back. I don't wanna be like that, I want to genuinely help those who need help, and tell those that are moochers to stick it and figure it out for themselves already :D That's my plan, but who knows what will happen between now and then.

[kalanamak]

took care of him. She was independent until 87, and after that my brother poked his head in a lot, although she died at home after only a week off her feet just before she turned 90.

I see no reason not to follow in their footsteps. I think she hung on alone out of shear grit. She was a workaholic, who cooked, scrubbed, gardened, knitted, quilted, read, traveled, etc etc with 6 screaming children in tow, kept a spotless house full of beautiful antiques (I remember her polishing the silver and keeping a fish and ironing daddy's pajamas, using a wringer washer, etc. etc. from dawn until after dark). I think she took all that drive and turned it into just keeping herself together body and soul. And she stayed funny. Once, when Daddy was about 95, she said:
I envy other women my age.
?Why? I queried.
Other women my age are sitting in a wheelchair with their tongue hanging out. Me, I'm taking care of an OLD MAN. (while she jerked a thumb back towards the room his TV was blasting into his deaf ears).

Just before she died she said "I sure did keep him going, didn't I?" She had such pride in her voice.

[Amy loves Bud]

What a question. I hope/plan to be very active as long as I can. When I went to China on a mission trip in '06 there was a man on the trip who was 85. It was his 65th mission trip since he retired, and he was trying to convince me to help start and do periodic trips on a medical boat that he was helping to establish that would travel up the Mekong, giving access to areas that medical teams hadn't been able to get to in any reasonable way before. He was inspiring and I hope to be like him in that way.

I will love spending time with grandkids and will probably have quilting and such that I like to do, but mostly I hope to be able to travel a lot - mainly doing mission work, also just for pleasure and education.

My parents were not so great toward the end, but I think it was definitely a reflection of their earlier lives. My mom, whom I loved dearly, was always a "victim" it seemed. In the end she basically gave up. My dad, well, he would never give up on anything. Stubborn as a mule. Two extremes I hope to avoid!

[Robin in Tx]

I remember the day. It was when me, my mom, and my dd were having lunch together. I was born when my mom was almost 40. My dd was born when I was almost as old. At this lunch, my mom was 80, I was 40, and my dd was a toddler. When I think about being 80, I think about that moment, and I hope that my dd marries and has children a little younger than I did... not just so that *I* can know and enjoy my grandkids, but so that she can have a full, long life with them, and not face the sadness of knowing that she will never live long enough to see her children as happy adults raising their own families... no watching the grandkids graduate or get married.

That's what 80 means to me, unfortunately.

But to answer your question, the older I get the more I realize how wrong my impressions of the older generation have sometimes been. They were actually a little bit brighter and less stubborn than I gave them credit. As a matter of fact, now I'm getting to the age where I see the younger generation as being a little less informed, a little more stubborn, quite a bit more judgemental, etc. :). Age really can change your perspective.

Robin

[Volty]

I'll stand on the porch waving my shotgun and hurl insults and dog poo at the neighbors. This might be more fun if there were 3 or 4 of us doing it.

[Volty]

I'll stand on the porch waving my shotgun and hurl insults and dog poo at the neighbors. This might be more fun if there were 3 or 4 of us doing it.

Also, I'm joking.:D

[Crissy]

Also, I'm joking.:D

You think you won't need those 3 or 4 other folks after all? :D

[Doran]

My mother turned 80 last month. For all the ways that she is truly and completely remarkable, she is also bitter and unhappy. Mostly, only those who know her very well see that side of her, unless they are quite astute or uniquely intuitive. But, I can see her face now, when I look in the mirror. And her body when I'm looking at my whole me. So, yes, I absolutely consider who and how I will be when I'm 80. I long to make peace with myself so that I can do the same with those around me. I want to sing at inopportune moments, speak up when I see injustice, laugh loud, love big, and spend as many hours talking as I do listening.

My future isn't about my money, or my intelligence, or my accomplishments. It's about how I show up in the world and whether that person is one I believe in. It's about putting heart first. I have a long road ahead, and sometimes I am barely able to put one foot in front of the other. I can only hope to keep moving forward all the days I am alive.

Doran

[Robin in Tx]

What was the movie... was it Fried Green Tomatoes with Katy Bates when she hit the girls car in the parking lot, and said something about being older and having more insurance? That's how I feel sometimes. :D Let me know when you're ready... I might come join you... LOL!



Yeah, yeah... just kidding. Sorta.

[WTMCassandra]

Oh, Crissy, I think about this a LOT. I could write a book on this topic, I think.

I know a woman over 80 that I want to be like when I grow up. She is kind, thoughtful, hospitable, active, with not a hint of bitterness in her face and voice--and she has been through some rough things. She is joyful in the Lord, a prayer warrior, a lover of children, and she is a blessing to everyone who meets her. One will always find true rest at her home. I'm just sad that now I live 3000 miles away from her. Sadly, she is not a relative, and none of my relatives are like her, but she's my role model anyway (yes, I am stubborn).

I don't think too much about whether I will be physically active or not. However, I think a LOT about how I want to be, characterwise, and that means I need to be working NOW on how I plan to be when I'm 80. These are some goals I have:

1. Continue to become more like Christ. It seems like some people, even Christians, think themselves exempt from the fruit of the Spirit because they are old. What's up with that? May God strike me dead before I think like that. I want to continue to grow in how to love God and prepare myself to spend eternity with him. The more I am like Him, the more fun eternity will be, IMHO.

2. Retain the attitude of a learner. The Apostle Paul didn't think he had arrived--why should I when I get older? I will have experience and wisdom, yes, but I need to continue to be humble and teachable. I need to exercise my mind and learn new things--and it would be good for me to learn some of them from people younger than me! ; ) I want to know myself in the sense of knowing what's emotionally healthy for me, but not "set in my ways." I need to continue to prod myself outside of my comfort zone.

3. Respect my adult children and their choices. I posted about this in the grandparents thread. Hooboy, this is a hot button for me. I need to change my relationship with my children as they grow. There's no reason to treat them like they're 6yo when they are 40yo, married with children, job and house, etc. And if they make different parenting choices, I am very determined not to take that personally, especially if the choices are more conservative than mine. If they are truly trying to follow the Lord's leading, I need to STAY OUT OF IT. Never is manipulation and guilt appropriate. I need to be my grown children's best prayer warrior. I need to ask, "How can I help?" and then DO THAT.

Intention? Ohhhh yes. These things take serious intention and daily upkeep. I need to be making these tiny choices day by day that add up to a lifestyle. I need to respect my children NOW as individuals at the level where they are. If I update that as they grow, I will grow into a respectful adult relationship with them. I think the key is never to "freeze," mentally, spiritually, or emotionally, because that will really be the first step backwards. I should never stop learning and thinking, whether or not TV has a place in my life later ; ). (We don't watch it in our current stage of life.)

All of these things are more critical to me than physical health and independence. I think I am responsible to God and my family to take decent care of myself, but it's not as hugely important to me as being emotionally safe and supportive. This is probably because I have a huge hole in my own life in this area ; ).

[WTMCassandra]

Pam, I think you are absolutely right about this. We (the general we of adults) need to stop saying to children "Stop making that face or it will freeze that way" and say it to OURSELVES! It's us who are in danger of having our faces freeze that way! ; ) Children's faces are far too elastic to be at risk of "freezing." The more we indulge in bitterness, the more it carves itself on our faces as we age. But the same is true of smiles!

[*anj*]

Hmmmm....what a fun thread!
I have nothing but good memories of both of my grandmothers. One of them is actually still alive, but it's easier to just speak of them in the same tense. Anyway, they were both always loving and funny and sweet and warm, and they were really good cooks!
My mom is similar, but maybe because I know her better, and maybe because she is still younger, I'm more aware of her negative traits. I don't want to be as critical with my children when I'm a Grandma. I don't want them to think "Oh no, make sure the kids are wearing hats, Mom's coming" or whatever.


So I hope that I'll be funny and warm and loving, and that when they come to my house there will always be the aroma of something good in the oven.

I hope to keep my mind alert by reading and writing and hanging out on message boards and gardening and playing Scrabble.

I hope that my love for the Lord will shine through and that they will know that I'm always praying for them.

And I hope that my dh will be with me throughout my life and that when we're old our children and grandchildren will smile when they see us still kissing and holding hands.

[gardenschooler]

I even have a label for posts on my blog entitled 'things I won't have to do when I'm an old lady'.

So, no, I won't be involved in the community. I'll be puttering around in my teeny little cottage garden, that hopefully my dear sons-in-law will build to waist level for me. I'll raise African violets in the windowsill, and I'll learn how to quilt. I'll read every book and explore every interest I never had time for. I'll be a great conversationalist, instead of listing my ailments.

I won't be a burden, because I really don't require much now. I won't tell my daughters who to marry, or how to raise their children. I'll just smile and love them, and hopefully they'll come over on Sunday afternoons. If they're busy, I won't nag them. I'll just knit them something instead. I'll never, ever, ever forget anyone's birthday.

I will happily spend most of my time in sheer, heavenly solitude. I'll be there, but on the sidelines.

[WTMCassandra]

Ha! This description is hilarious. I'm with you on the solitude, the violets, the reading and exploring topics. I hope to smile and love my adult children, buuuuut, I'm TERRIBLE at remembering people's birthdays! Ugggh. I guess I'd better work on that.

And I'm not sure about the gardening part either, but I can completely see myself puttering in a teeny cottage. Just with lots of bookshelves, that's all. Perhaps I'll have a gardener instead. Yes, that's it! An tiny, picturesque English cottage lined with bookshelves, and a profusely growing garden outside with a gardener leaning on his hoe!

[WTMCassandra]

You are very blessed. I had one grandmother like you describe, but she died when I was 11 or 12. My other grandmother had a lot of good qualities, but she tended to think she showed you she loved you by worrying about you. Even if there was really nothing to worry about. Oy. She passed away last year. I never knew one grandfather (he died very young), and my other grandfather was abusive and had serious mental issues. So my grandparents were really a mixed bag.

[imeverywoman]

and I continually remind my self that more than anything, I want to age with grace. I pray it pours from my lips and is a wreath about my head. I want to be considered wise and dignified. Poised and gentle. Kind and hospitable. Loving and discerning.

I'm glad it's down the road a bit, because it's going to take some work before I get there! :rolleyes:

[sdWTMer]

Frankly, I really don't think about that too much. But, I probably will now that my parents are seniors and are in the final season of their lives. I guess I see myself like they are...I would really be involved as much as I can in activities. That would give me a bunch of time for knitting cruises and political ones too! :D And, dh could come along for the ride.

I can't imagine me just wanting to hang with a bunch of women though. I'm rather introverted, but things can happen and I could change a lot!

I hope that in those years, my kiddos will live close by and I will be able to be a big part of their lives, especially if moms & dads both have to work.

[WTMCassandra]

Amen! Me too. I have a long way to go.

[Patty Joanna]

I have thought about this some. The more I see of my mom, the more I hope I am like her--and I didn't always feel this way. But one thing I have kicked around as an idea about how we age is this: I think we become more of what we set out to be when we were young, but we have less energy or interest in covering over the negative bits. That's why it is important to learn to be merciful and kind when you are young--not just ACT like you are but BE merciful and kind and moderated and humorous...because when you get older, the need or ability to ACT just goes away. And there you are, just all out there on display.

I don't know that this is true...but it sure seems like it has been borne out in a lot of the aging I have seen, including in myself.

[WTMCassandra]

Patty Joanna, I think you are absolutely right! So simple, yet so profound. I had sort of this thought, but not nearly this well-formed. ; )

[Robin in Tx]

Patty, I think you hit it right on the head. That's it exactly. Failing health, loss of independence, losing a spouse, losing friends, becoming less sure of yourself physically, having a few mental lapses now and then, feeling (and being treated like) an old-timer who doesn't have anything to offer anymore... all this makes it harder and harder to keep the good qualities on the surface. Neither age nor wealth will change you... it will only make you more of what you already are. Thanks for the reminder.

Robin

[JWSJ]

I didn't think about this much at all until my Dad said everyone in the family older than him was now dead. He is the oldest of the family children in his generation.

So, he said he was happy not to go to funerals anymore.

However, the next funeral is likely to be his.

Honestly, I worry more about dying young and leaving my family unprepared. Unfortunately, this has happened too often in my family.

[Jean in Newcastle]

If I lose my inhibitions at some point (maybe due to dementia or some other reason), I've told my dh to expect to hear a fair amount of swearing. I don't swear out-loud often but I do have to confess that at times there is quite a bit going on in my head. So, he's been fore-warned!

[Jean in Wisc]

My mother-in-law.

She makes dessert and then brings it out to us because "she couldn't possibly eat it all herself."

She brings a pot of soup out whenever we get sick or too busy (she did this when my mom was in the hospital last week).

She makes peace between the family members.

She's great at saying things like, "Oh, well. If that is the biggest of our problems, we don't have much to complain about."

When she goes shopping and doesn't find what she was looking for, she buys "goodies" for my kids and drops them off on her way home saying, "I had to buy SOMETHING!" Tostitos and cheese dip is one of my dc's favorites which she buys for them.

She makes a big meal and invites the family over, and then apologizes because she knows the food isn't perfect (she's a WONDERFUL cook).

She volunteered to watch my children when they were young and when I needed help.

She never wanted to get involved in things that were between me and my husband.

When she stops over unannounced, she won't take her coat off because "I'm sure you are busy." But she stops by frequently, and her visits are ALWALYS welcome.

I could go on and on. This is the most wonderful mil one could ever have! I've a role model...and I think I need to start practicing right now! :)

[*anj*]

I could go on and on. This is the most wonderful mil one could ever have! I've a role model...and I think I need to start practicing right now! :)

Jean,
That was a lovely testimony. You should really share it with her sometime. It brought a tear to my eye because that's how I would like to be too. And it reminded me of my fil (he died 15 years ago, and my mil is nothing like him.) He would make a lasagna and then drive two hours north to bring it to our house for dinner "because we can't eat it all."

And you reminded me of a good thing with my mom too:
She never, ever gets in the middle of marital situations. She told me on Day One that she wouldn't and she has been true to her word.

[Kelli in TN]

I'll never, ever, ever forget anyone's birthday.

.

I, on the other hand, will likely continue to forget everyone's birthday. I will probably still write thank you notes and carry them around in my purse, meaning to stop and pick up stamps, until I am too embarrassed to send them. I will probably intend to send Christmas cards, but fail to do so.


But hopefully I will be loving enough, funny enough, gentle enough that my loved ones will just roll their eyes and say "Oh, you know Mom, she never was good at that sort of thing!"

My grandmother, the one that I lost most recently, never remembered our birthdays. We were okay with that, hopefully my kinfolk will be too.

[Doran]

I, on the other hand, will likely continue to forget everyone's birthday. I will probably still write thank you notes and carry them around in my purse, meaning to stop and pick up stamps, until I am too embarrassed to send them. I will probably intend to send Christmas cards, but fail to do so....

I'm delighted to learn that someone else does this! I just threw out a thank-you note my dd wrote (at my insistence!) in August - a note I never managed to find the address for so that we could actually get the thing mailed. Good grief. And, I have on my desktop computer, a mostly written annual lettery thingy (I know those thingies evoke large yawns from most, but I like to believe that mine is different. And, shoot, it doesn't even matter if I never manage to send the blasted thing!) which I was just contemplating getting completed by Valentines Day. Only we don't really celebrate Valentine's Day, so what's the point of that?

Anyway, I can only hope that years from now, when I'm gone and my kinfolk find bits and pieces of unfinished business like that in my home, they will smile and say, "She meant well".

Doran

[Virginia Dawn]

This may sound odd, but I recently decided I was going to live to be 86. I really have had the feeling that my life has reached the halfway point and I am 43 right now. So, if I've got 43 years left, I'm trying to make the most of them. I have known many elderly people, and very few have much of a life after 90. Most are extremely dependent and very inactive, just kind of waiting out the remaining years. I don't really want to live that long. Maybe it's because of my personality, but I would like there to be a finality to my life, not a lingering on.

As for being crabby or gossipy, I think I've improved in those areas over the years. I haven't been a big gossipper anyway. Hopefully I will continue to mellow.

What scares me, is that the odds are I will outlive my husband by many years.

[elegantlion]

I want to be like my mother, my mil, and my husband's dear grandmother. My mother is spunky, fun loving and still not quite used to having my dad home all day, he finally retired last year. She's in her 70's and still rearranges the furniture enough to drive my dad crazy, she gets up early, take almost no medication and loves life and learning. She shows biased favoritism toward my son who was born on her birthday. He asks to go to her house 800 miles away for his birthday present.

My dh's grandmother survived breast cancer in 80's, lives with her dtr and husband, has a joyful spirit, still is inquisitive, loves to travel, has an innocent sense of humor and is still naive about some of the "modern" attitudes. She's engaging in conversation and has a sharp wit. The first time we met my dh and I were still dating. She had a picture of my dh and his previous girlfriend in her kitchen. She noticed I saw it and told my dh in front of the entire family that it was time he sent her an updated picture. I've loved her ever since.

My MIL is a published author who started her novels after retirement. There is hope for me yet.

At 80 I want to be the funky grandma who will still make up silly songs with my grandkids. Maybe by then I finally have the Jeep I want and I'll drive slowly through where ever we live and yell at "those darned kids" for driving too quickly. I hope to still be learning something new everyday. Goodness by the time I'm 80 by son will be older than my dh is right now. UGH! I'll have long silver curls and I may talk to complete strangers in the grocery store. I have a dog that will be allowed to sleep on the bed. My dh, I pray, will be around to talk about the good times and how we survived the bad ones. I will have several published novels.

My son will come to visit and kiss me on the head and tell me he loves me. He'll bring his lovely wife and they will bring me chocolate.

Anyway, that's how it plays out in my head.

[Doran]

This may sound odd, but I recently decided I was going to live to be 86. I really have had the feeling that my life has reached the halfway point and I am 43 right now. ... Maybe it's because of my personality, but I would like there to be a finality to my life, not a lingering on.

Oh, me too! For me, it's the brutal situation in which I see my parents right now, where my father is failing rapidly, both physically and mentally, and my mother is barely holding on to her sanity. I swear it causes me to consider bizarre things, like keeping a supply of little pills on hand so that I can swallow them rather than lingering indefinitely. Don't get me wrong - I'm not suicidal, and I know our lives and deaths are part of a larger plan I can't understand - so it's not my place to swallow pills. But, then, maybe I won't swallow pills -- the kind prescribed and "legal" to swallow, so that my life will drag on despite my body's desire for it to stop. Ick..this is morose. That wasn't my point. It's just I understand your wish for a finality to life.[/quote]


What scares me, is that the odds are I will outlive my husband by many years.

Yes, and won't that feel odd? And lonely. Yet, again, thinking about how it is when life isn't good at the end, parting would be a relief when living has become so hard.

Doran

[Virginia Dawn]

You know, I don't think I could do the pill thing unless I was in desparately hopeless circumstances. I'm hoping that what they say about the will to live is true.

I think of how Mark Twain decided he was going to die at the return of Halley's comet, and he did. I don't think it was a coincidence, but I don't think he killed himself either. At any rate, I would probably start praying very hard that God takes me quickly.

Also, I see myself giving away most of my possessions and money by the time I am that old. I hate the thought of hanging on to things just because. I'd prefer to think of other people enjoying them while I am still alive. I've seen how leaving a lot of stuff behind just causes trouble for others.

[Remudamom]

I'll leave the deep philosophical answers to someone else. I see myself galloping off into the sunset with a bright red, feather festooned cowgirl hat. Maybe matching boots.

[PariSarah]

. . . that I really keep in my mind when I think about growing old.

One of them is (was) dh's great-aunt Grace. When she and her husband started getting older, a few years into retirement, they sold their home, gave all the important pieces to all the people she would have given them to in her will, moved into a step-down retirement community (that went from independent living to full nursing care), and bought all new, all cheap stuff to use. She said, "I want to enjoy people using what I give them. It would give me any pleasure after I'm gone. I wanna see it now." They each had all their funerals planned, down to the hymns. Grace died many years after her husband, but she managed her money well until she couldn't anymore, and then she unhesitatingly passed it to her favorite niece to manage. She even had money set aside to through a party after her funeral--at the nicest hotel in town.

She was just so unafraid of the aging process. She took everything that came to her with good humor and, well, grace. She was so concerned to make her aging and passing easy for everyone else that she didn't have time to be morose about it. She was a wonder, a great example.

The other is my grandmother. She is as looney as a grapefruit, and has been as long as I've known her. She's never locked a door in her life; she leaves her keys in the ignition when she goes to the mall, and she takes ziplock bags with her when she goes to the Ponderosa, so she can steal chicken wings off the buffet. Stubborn, undereducated, uncultured, and profane (although she cut out the f-bomb when she got "saved"), she is also energetic, independent, and unfailingly generous.

I wrote about her "gift closet" here on my blog (http://weblog.xanga.com/scsours/575512285/speaking-of-knitting--.html). But my other favorite Gramma Jackie story is this: Several years ago, when she was about 80, she was going to Penney's. ("I go to Mass every day, Sarah. It's what keeps me alive. I go to Mass, and then I go shopping.")

When she got back in her little car after her Penney's excursion, a teenaged kid knocked on her window and said, "Hey, lady, your headlight's busted!"

So, she got out to look at it.

The kid started to climb in the drivers seat.

Jackie quickly realized what was going on, and instead of doing what any sane person would have done (screamed for help, maybe?), she started whacking the kid with her purse.

The kid, startled by this show of force from a 5'2", 100lb old lady, started to back out of the car. Unfortunately, he couldn't hunker down enough to get his head clear of the door jamb. So, here he is, trying to get out of the car, banging his head against the top of the door frame, getting whaled on by this old lady and her handbag.

Jackie is not content with this abuse, however. While he's trying desperately to escape, she reaches her hand around him and starts honking the horn. "Help! He's trying to steal my car! Help!" She hasn't stopped beating him all this time, of course.

So finally, the kid manages to free his head and gets out of Jackie's way. This is the point where I'm always a little sobered--she is so lucky he didn't decide to deck her one and take the car. It would have been so easy.

But he was apparently flustered by his bad experience, and I think maybe her honking had attracted the attention of the roving mall security van, so he just started to hightail it out of there.

After taking a couple steps, though, he looked back at her and said, "Lady, you're crazy!"

So, meanwhile, the security guy comes and is trying to get her story. Jackie is a little hard to follow when she's calm, so I guess the guy tried to call my aunt, who lives nearby. She was at work, but she called her husband to go over and try to find Jackie in the Penney's parking lot and try to deal with whatever was happening.

He searches for her for an hour, can't find her anywhere. My aunt, meanwhile, is calling her house every ten minutes trying to find her. Finally, after another half hour or so, Jackie answers the phone. My aunt starts laying into her: "Where have you been?! I've been worried sick! Ed has been looking for you all over that d@mn parking lot!"

"Oh, Jan, I had to go to Boscov's. It's the first day of their sale, and the ladies were holding some things for me."

:eek:

I often think of that poor kid and his run-in with Gramma Jackie. I wonder if he ever tried something like that again. :D

[Begonia]

I'm my dad's caretaker. He's 80 years old and he still has more energy and spunk than I have ever had. I love him dearly and I wouldn't change anything about him, but I don't want my dds to have to take care of me when I'm old. This year I made sure that I'm covered by long term care insurance. Put me in a clean, safe retirement center, and get on with your lives, girls! :)

[WTMindy]

just yesterday I prayed that God would allow to be like my grandma when I am old. She just turned 88 yesterday. I would also like to be like my mom. My cousin wrote a tribute about my grandma which summed her up perfectly.

I would love to discuss Grandma Verna and all her positive attributes.
Obviously there is not enough space on the internet for all that praise, so
let's just highlight a few things. I appreciate a woman who knows when it's
time to get a bigger screen on her television. I appreciate a woman who
enjoys a beautiful, snowy wonderland outside her window. I appreciate a
woman who knows what things matter most in life but still manages to not
take herself too seriously. I appreciate a woman who backs up to a couch and
expects her children to move out of the way--or be sat upon. I appreciate a
woman who is so faithful to her Bible study and to her Lord.

She has such a wonderful sense of humor and she leads a Bible Study at the retirement home she lives in. She prays every day for her five kids and her fifteen grandkids and her fifteen great grandkids. My other Grandma died a few years ago and I would like to be like her also.