Divorce in NC - My friend's exdh

[MJN]

left her in January. She was pregnant with their third child and they already have two boys. She now has three children to take care of. He is a resident at the local hospital, in a relationship with another woman who just gave birth to their child last week. So, now he has four children. He gives her $1000 a month for child support. She's a nurse working at the hospital he works at and she works 3-4 days a week. Wouldn't a good attorney fight for her to get more child support? What about alimony? I mean HE left her and was in another relationship with "the other woman". How long do docs go through residency? What kind of salaries do they bring in?

Thanks for your thoughts on this. I know nothing about divorce, but something doesn't sound right here to me.

[GraceinMD]

How long do docs go through residency? What kind of salaries do they bring in?


I'm sorry about your friend's situation. I don't know anything about divorce (although the usual advice to GET A LAWYER seems apropos!).

Residency salaries (and length of program) vary, depending on specialty (family practice, peds, a surgical specialty) and location. A typical salary these days is about 45,000 - 52,000 per year (you can Google this info). Your friend's xdh may have huge loan repayments to make, though (NOT that this means he shouldn't support his children, of course, just trying to explain that he may not have a lot of "extra" income, if it's tied up in loan repayments).

[LisaTheresa]

My sister is going through a divorce and expects to get $2300 - $2800 per month in combined child support and alimony. Her husband makes about $85,000/year. I think the portion for child support is about $1300 and the rest is alimony. She and her husband were married for about 9 years. She will only receive the alimony for the next 4 years.

My sister is not working and has been a full time stay at home mom for the last 7 years. This may be why she is getting so much more. I don't know. I know these numbers are roughly determined by a calculation set by the state. If your friend's husband is making a much larger salary than her, then maybe she should seek a second opinion from another attorney.

I don't know how much the court cares about whose fault the divorce is. My sister's soon to be ex was never involved with the kids during their marriage. He was seeing another woman. When she had him removed from the home 2 years ago, he never asked to take the kids anywhere or have them for any kind of visitation. He has documented anger and alcohol problems but is now entitled to have the kids every other weekend, 2 weeks in the summer, one week at Christmas and various other holidays. Not exactly fair or in the best interests of the children if you ask me. And this was considered a good settlement.

Sorry to hear your friend is going through this.
Lisa

[3lilreds in NC]

Since she's working, I'm not sure about the alimony. Child support does, sadly, depend on his salary, and it's not a huge amount as a resident. When he's done with his residency and gets his "real" job, he will make more and she can take him back to court then, I think.

How does your friend feel about the child support? Does she think it should be more? She can always get a different lawyer if she doesn't think the one she has is doing well for her. I can ask my neighbor for his lawyers if you guys are in or near the Raleigh area.

[Carrie1234]

Most states (I want to say all, but I don't know for certain) have a set formula for determining support. Deviations from the formula only apply to situations like special medical needs, filthy rich parents, and... I can't think of any others off the top of my head.

Sometimes private school or daycare costs have a separate formula.

Some states have their child support calculators online, so she may want to check that.

I know nothing about alimony, but I hear that it's falling out of favor in most courts, which I think is crazy.

[GVA]

Residents don't make much, and I'm guessing that NC is a no fault state, which means that what he did don't count for much in the equation. All that counts is that he left. From what I hear locally in my area if you are working or could work at a decent job, you're not going to get alimony, no matter what the age of your children and how many years you stayed home.

To determine what she got the court probably looked at his living expenses and what was reasonable for him survive on. I have a friend who has six children and got only $600/month and no alimony because he ex is a basic carpenter (not big bucks) and she always ran a home day care to pay the mortgage and car loans. They had to provide tax returns and lists of expenses, and there was formula used.

[Danestress]

We have statutory guidelines for child support. It's a matter of plugging in Mom's income, Dad's income, childcare costs, information about visitation, and getting a number. She could go have a consult with a divorce attorney and get that information easily. As his income changes, she will be able to get modifications to that child support. Without any information on incomes, I have no idea whether $1000 is reasonable.

With respect to alimony, the statute requires that the recipient be "dependent." That doesn't mean that the recipient have no income at all, but there has to be a disparity between the husband's and wife's income at the time of seperation. In your friend's case, it is entirely possible that her income is close to his or even greater greater than his, in which case, no alimony would be awarded.

Adultery is a factor that is taken into account in alimony, though. If she is a dependent spouse, the court WILL give her alimony if he committed adultery. But honestly, she might not be dependent. Typically, a resident has just come through years of technically being the dependent spouse himself, since she's probably worked while he studied.

Has your friend seen an attorney? This isn't a case I would do without one. A Resident isn't a resident forever, and his income will go up. She needs to see an attorney who can protect her future interests.

[plansrme]

This isn't what you asked about, but the court can order him to provide the kids' health insurance. Since he has another child, he can probably cover these 3 at no additional cost to him. That would allow your friend to avoid paying for family coverage through her own employment and could save her several hundred dollars a month.

But I agree w/all of the above that she should definitely have a lawyer.

Terri

[Scarlett]

Adultery is a factor that is taken into account in alimony, though. If she is a dependent spouse, the court WILL give her alimony if he committed adultery. But honestly, she might not be dependent. Typically, a resident has just come through years of technically being the dependent spouse himself, since she's probably worked while he studied.

Has your friend seen an attorney? This isn't a case I would do without one. A Resident isn't a resident forever, and his income will go up. She needs to see an attorney who can protect her future interests.

Also, if she was married to him while he was getting his education I think the courts will give her a more favorable settlement...his education was an investment that is marital property---something like that. But I'm no lawyer. :001_huh:

[Joanne]

Wouldn't a good attorney fight for her to get more child support? What about alimony? I mean HE left her and was in another relationship with "the other woman".

Behavior within the marriage has no bearing on child support determination.

Child support is determined by formula.

Does she have an attorney? Unfortunately, Family Law situations in our culture today are such that having an attorney is imperative.

[Joanne]

Adding that my xh should be paying around $1800 a month for our 3 children.

[mcconnellboys]

She may not be able to get more now, but as soon as he's in practice she can certainly get more!

[OnTheBrink]

The formula for support varies from state to state. I know in Colorado, your credit score somehow factors in to that. But, it is a cut and dried formula in most places.

As for alimony, that will vary on a lot of issues. Danestress was (is still?) an attorney in your state, so I think she's got the best advice of all.

I'm sorry for your friend and what she's going through. Divorce is a drag.