Not exactly flunking, but not moving onto the next grade?

[Kelli in TN]

We are feeling strongly that one of our kids lacks the emotional maturity to promote to high school on schedule. We are looking into the future and we see the price that will be paid in terms of a high school graduate who will not be emotionally ready for college. We feel that delaying graduation by one year could make all the difference in the world. We feel it is best to make this adjustment now, well before high school would begin.

Assuming that my umbrella school okays this (and I am 99% sure they will), what do I tell people? He has some things in his life that are divided by grade level (at church, 4H, etc). As this is unrelated to his academics I don't want to let anyone get the impression that he is flunking. I also don't want to make him look like a loser socially.

Who here is a master of words and can help me craft an explanation that sounds good?

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

We are feeling strongly that one of our kids lacks the emotional maturity to promote to high school on schedule. We are looking into the future and we see the price that will be paid in terms of a high school graduate who will not be emotionally ready for college. We feel that delaying graduation by one year could make all the difference in the world. We feel it is best to make this adjustment now, well before high school would begin.

Assuming that my umbrella school okays this (and I am 99% sure they will), what do I tell people? He has some things in his life that are divided by grade level (at church, 4H, etc). As this is unrelated to his academics I don't want to let anyone get the impression that he is flunking. I also don't want to make him look like a loser socially.

Who here is a master of words and can help me craft an explanation that sounds good?

I would tell folks that he's taking a gap year. I would give something very precious to be able to go back and do that for ds. And we have some very educationally astute friends (the mom did post-doc brain/education/dyslexia research for a living) who let their son do some travel and dive deeply into history (his passion and his father's unique specialty) between grades 8 and 9. He was well served by their wisdom.

[RoughCollie]

I would separate out his academic and social levels. He may be in a grade lower than other kids his age at homeschool, but there is no reason to make that a basis for which social group he is involved with.

You can give his grade whichever number you like -- it is no one's business (except, I suppose, for the umbrella school) which grade level of work he is actually doing at home. In my household, the boys are in 9th grade, but they are doing pre-algebra this year, which is an 8th grade course. I'm not going to call them 8th graders because of that. It would not fly at all because they are triplets and their brother is in 9th grade at PS. Besides, they may catch up and when and if they do graduate on time, I will advocate for them taking a gap year then anyway.

I think gap years are a marvelous idea and that having an extra year to mature serves college freshman well. Even though people assume a gap year occurs between high school and college, there is no rule about when it occurs and as far as I'm concerned that can be now or in the future.

RC

[Tracy in Ky]

We are considering just "extending" junior high for a year so that ds is ready for high school work in 9th grade. I just had this talk with ds yesterday. We will call it high school when he is ready for the work. But I am still officially calling him 8th grade. "8th year" is another option. It is tricky. We are dealing with some of the same issues. :)

[Karin]

My 13 yo is academically ready for high school (finished grade 8), but will not be ready to go to university/college at 17, so we're doing an 8/9 year. This will allow us to have a more in-depth education as well and to introduce a couple of loathed topics more gently, namely real essays and literary analysis (I hate the last one myself and prefer to analyze poetry, drama and almost anything else over novels.) At first she was unhappy about it, but has adjusted well. Before doing this I gave her a challenge project and told her she had to finish it on time (I gave her plenty of time and 3 deadlines for research, rough draft, etc) in order to start high school this month. She didn't meet it.

[hsmamainva]

My 14 yo has high functioning autism and he started to do 1st grade work when he was 8 (and he didn't even talk until he was 4 years old).

Now, he's right where he should be at 14, which is doing 7th grade work (if you count 8 as 1st, 9 as 2nd, 10 as 3rd, etc.)

I tell folks, "My oldest son has some learning disabilities," or "My son has special needs," and that ends the discussion. Many, many times I hear, "My son (or daughter) did, too, and they just kept pushing him (or her) through school and I wish they wouldn't have done that."

We intend to continue schooling for grades "13th" and "14th" (which would be the equivalent of "11th" and "12th") and then he plans on going to the community college. After that, I have no idea! He has yet to decide what he wants to do, career-wise. And that's half the benefit of going to the cc! You can figure out what you want to do, and what courses you like, etc., at $85 a credit hour vs going away to a 4 year public college, which would cost us $1000 a month!

Now...as far as social events with our homeschool group, I put him where he would be according to his age. I know that most 14 year olds are in the 9th grade and that's where I put him if we're going on a field trip, joining a co-op class, going to a party, etc.

[swellmomma]

At church etc we say ds is grade 5, but really he is grade 4. Due to immaturity(more like a 7 yr old than a 10 yr old) and where he is academically, both due to special needs, that is where he is in course work. He knows that the work he does is grade or 2 behind, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't hang out with his peers in church or clubs so we tell them the grade he would be in if he was in ps.

[Kelli in TN]

I feel like some clarification is needed.

This is not my special needs son. This child is doing fine academically. I would never ever want him represented as anything less than he is in terms of learning ability.

Socially, he fits better with younger kids than older kids. Socially I want to slow him down. Socially I want to hold his grade back.

How do I word this when I explain to the 4H leader why he needs to keep competing on the middle school level? How do I word this when I explain to the youth leader why he does not move up to the high school youth with his peers? How do I word this in such a way that nobody will think he flunked, or has learning problems?

[hsmamainva]

At church etc we say ds is grade 5, but really he is grade 4. Due to immaturity(more like a 7 yr old than a 10 yr old) and where he is academically, both due to special needs, that is where he is in course work. He knows that the work he does is grade or 2 behind, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't hang out with his peers in church or clubs so we tell them the grade he would be in if he was in ps.

I agree with you!

And, the same can be said, on the other side, for my 8yo. He's doing 5th - 6th grade level work in our homeschool, but I put him with the 4th graders (or other 8-9 year olds) in his social activities because that's where the boys are who are his age (and just because his academic work is at the level of a 10-11 year old doesn't mean that's where his social and emotional level is...if that makes sense!)

[jmgconner]

I tell people that we don't really divide his learning into grade levels. If they push, I tell them that he's ahead of grade level in reading, on grade level in history, and slightly below grade level in math. I also follow that up with a brief explanation that we teach to mastery, not to just get through the book.

[swellmomma]

hmmm that is a tougher situation. DS is emotionally immature like I said above. He seems to relate to kids about 3 year younger than him, at his current age that is normally not an issue, but I can see the problems arising when is it time for him to move up a level in something and be in a whole new setting without the younger kids. Perhaps you can find a way to have him "labelled" as a helper for the younger group so that he still spend his time with them, giving him a chance to mature without the stigma of being held back or people thinking he has learning problems kwim. As for 4-H I would explain it to the leader exactly how you did here and see what he/she suggests as far as approach for competitions, offer the suggestion of him being a helper/junior leader to the young age set and see what the leader thinks.

[Kelli in TN]

hmmm that is a tougher situation. DS is emotionally immature like I said above. He seems to relate to kids about 3 year younger than him, at his current age that is normally not an issue, but I can see the problems arising when is it time for him to move up a level in something and be in a whole new setting without the younger kids. Perhaps you can find a way to have him "labelled" as a helper for the younger group so that he still spend his time with them, giving him a chance to mature without the stigma of being held back or people thinking he has learning problems kwim. As for 4-H I would explain it to the leader exactly how you did here and see what he/she suggests as far as approach for competitions, offer the suggestion of him being a helper/junior leader to the young age set and see what the leader thinks.


No, I don't want him to be a helper. In 4H I want him to be an 8th grader twice without the stigma of "flunking" 8th grade. In youth I simply want him to stay in the middle school group without the stigma of "flunking".

[Amy in NH]

Here in NH, 4-H ages are set by the state. The youth's 4-H age is as of January 1st of the 4-H year (which starts in October - how confusing!). Your child competes with his age group. The group divisions are Cloverbud 5-7, Junior 8-10, Intermediate 11-13, Senior 14-18. You can make the choice not to go on to higher levels of competition (like state or regional events), but you can't compete with the younger age group. If you have a documented disability you will get special accommodations, which means that the judges at any given event in which your child is competing will be made aware of the disability and judge accordingly.

As far as other youth groups go, discuss your concerns with the director of the group & leave it at that. If anyone else asks, just tell them it was a decision that you made because you felt it was in his best interest. Most parents will understand that.

[chiguirre]

I'm trying to hold back ds socially as well. Although he's doing fine with mostly 2nd grade work, he's noticeably immature for his age. I plan on keeping schoolwork at his ability level and slowly sign him up for outside activities a grade below his age equivalent. I would have red-shirted him in K, but he has a November b-day and we pulled him out of school at the last minute.

We're lucky in that most hs activities are designed for a wider age range than ps stuff. It's not really a big deal to sign him up for activities as a 1st grader rather than a 2nd grader for the most part. The few things with strict age ranges will be finished in the next year and then we'll just keep him in groups where he's a year older than normal. This makes everyone's life including his much easier because he's not expected to be more mature than he is.

[Kanga]

I feel like some clarification is needed.

This is not my special needs son. This child is doing fine academically. I would never ever want him represented as anything less than he is in terms of learning ability.

Socially, he fits better with younger kids than older kids. Socially I want to slow him down. Socially I want to hold his grade back.

How do I word this when I explain to the 4H leader why he needs to keep competing on the middle school level? How do I word this when I explain to the youth leader why he does not move up to the high school youth with his peers? How do I word this in such a way that nobody will think he flunked, or has learning problems?

This might not pertain to your case, but my ds has a late fall bday. In some states the cutoff date for k is 9/1 other states it is 12/1. In the state where we lived when he started k it was 12/1. After living in other states I decided I wanted to use the 9/1 cutoff for my son. On paper it looked like he was being held back, even though academically he was ahead in most subjects. I felt he needed the extra year for social/maturity reasons. I told anybody who asked that he had been enrolled in k early and that we decided to line up his grade with his bday. If anybody asked about academics I told them I was not worried because the cc allowed high school students to take classes, so we were planning on dual enrolling him his jr. and sr. year.

[Margaret in CO]

4-H level is done by birthdate--you have no control over whether he competes as intermediate or senior. Too bad, but there it is.

We had a sort of similar situation. We allowed our dd to be counted as a 6th grader for sports--she was doing 6th grade work, but age-wise she was a 5th grader. Well, then life happened (and puberty) and she simply wasn't ready to be a 9th grader last year. Plus, she would have been the youngest in her class and would have headed off to college at 17--competing in x-c against 22yos. She "repeated" 8th (not by her choice) and is now one of the older 9th graders. Academically for her, it is good.

[Kelli in TN]

4-H level is done by birthdate--you have no control over whether he competes as intermediate or senior. Too bad, but there it is.
.


In Tennesse it is done by grade level. Age never enters into it. You officially start 4H in 4th grade as an Explorer and your portfolio work is judged by grade level from that point on.

[Jvander]

People reacted very positively to that. She still did the basics, but we let her explore interests like house design and candle making. I don't think we got any negative reactions and she is doing very well now academically and socially.

[Stacy in NJ]

I agree with calling it a gap year. I'd continue on with core academic subjects like math, composition and reading good quality literature. But, I'd let him come-up with a plan for studying content area stuff like history and science. You could provide suggestions and options but ultimately let him decide. This could provide him with the sense that this isn't just a scheme to hold him back, but rather a plan to inspire. Perhaps he could get a part-time job or do some volunteer work. Or, if it's possible, travel.

[fivetails]

No, I don't want him to be a helper. In 4H I want him to be an 8th grader twice without the stigma of "flunking" 8th grade. In youth I simply want him to stay in the middle school group without the stigma of "flunking".

How about just explaining it as your choice - "We've chosen to retain ds at the 8th grade level for this year." smile --> :) ---> end of story. If people keep asking, give 'em another ---> :) and repeat yourself. It's really none of their business anyway. .....If someone chooses to attach a 'stigma' to that, it just shows their character. ;)

I have a ds turning 10 in October, starting grade three in ps tomorrow (his older sis - dd11 - is the only one hs'ed at the moment) ...now, he does have multiple disabilities, so it's a different situation, but he was held back by our choice, so I've used the same explanation as I just wrote up there many times.... he went to grade 1, grade 2, then back to grade 1 when we moved him to a different school.

[Cadam]

I feel like some clarification is needed.

This is not my special needs son. This child is doing fine academically. I would never ever want him represented as anything less than he is in terms of learning ability.

Socially, he fits better with younger kids than older kids. Socially I want to slow him down. Socially I want to hold his grade back.

How do I word this when I explain to the 4H leader why he needs to keep competing on the middle school level? How do I word this when I explain to the youth leader why he does not move up to the high school youth with his peers? How do I word this in such a way that nobody will think he flunked, or has learning problems?

The simple truth "For social reasons we are keeping him in Jr. High for one more year." End of discussion, no ambiguity and no grade level attached. Sure he was an 8th grader last year and next year he will be a 9th grader but this year he is , simply, still in Jr. High.

If anyone asks more questions you just say that you and dh decided he needed a gap year and then you walk away while they go look up what "gap year" means.

[Andie]

I feel like some clarification is needed.

This is not my special needs son. This child is doing fine academically. I would never ever want him represented as anything less than he is in terms of learning ability.

Socially, he fits better with younger kids than older kids. Socially I want to slow him down. Socially I want to hold his grade back.

How do I word this when I explain to the 4H leader why he needs to keep competing on the middle school level? How do I word this when I explain to the youth leader why he does not move up to the high school youth with his peers? How do I word this in such a way that nobody will think he flunked, or has learning problems?

"X is in 8th grade." Huh/what/wasn't he last year? ":001_smile:It's the way our homeschool is structured. He'll start high school next year."

[Kelli in TN]

Thank you! Almost all of these posts have been exactly the sort of feedback I was seeking. I like the idea of calling it a gap year or a project year!!

You people are wonderful.

[gardenschooler]

You could always just say that your requirements to be a high schooler are that you have to be 14, and since he's not 14 yet, he won't be in high school yet this year.

I'd call it a 'gap year', too. Actually, he is very young for his grade, anyway. If he had been in ps, he wouldn't be going into 9th, so in 4-H, I would think this would help him be with those closer in age. Isn't he always the youngest in any group?

My dd14 just turned 14, and I think she's a little young for 9th grade, too.

[Kelli in TN]

You could always just say that your requirements to be a high schooler are that you have to be 14, and since he's not 14 yet, he won't be in high school yet this year.

I'd call it a 'gap year', too. Actually, he is very young for his grade, anyway. If he had been in ps, he wouldn't be going into 9th, so in 4-H, I would think this would help him be with those closer in age. Isn't he always the youngest in any group?

My dd14 just turned 14, and I think she's a little young for 9th grade, too.

Are you sure he's young for his grade. He would turn 14 in April and then start 9th in September. Instead I want him to start 9th the following year, after his 15th birthday. Is 14 for 9th not the norm?

[fivetails]

Are you sure he's young for his grade. He would turn 14 in April and then start 9th in September. Instead I want him to start 9th the following year, after his 15th birthday. Is 14 for 9th not the norm?

Depends where you live - my dd11 will be turning 14 in January of her grade 9 year...but she started in ps, grade 1, at 5 years old and we have (had, they changed it) one of the latest cut off dates in our country, end of Jan at the time...she was the youngest in her ps classes all the way until we pulled her at the end of grade 5...

If we'd lived in most other provinces, she'd not have been allowed to start that year and would be turning 15 in the middle of grade 9....

[Tabrett]

My question is- Does this bother your dc. If my parents did this to me I would have been DEVASTATED!!!!!!!!! I would be hurt that they think me not mature enough, even though I could handle the work.

There is no way for your dc to explain to his friends that he didn't "fail". They will think he is lying to hide the fact of failing.

Does your dc want to do this? Will it bother him? Is he going to feel shame and embarrassed? What if he socially matures in the next year or two and now he is held back.

I would think it better to require him to go to a local college the first year and live at home, than hold him back. This would give him time to "socially" mature under your supervision.

But, If your dc is happy about this, go for it!!

[GraceinMD]

I like the idea of calling it a gap year or a project year!!


...or you could just do what we did --- when a huge shagbark hickory tree fell on our house during a storm at the end of last school year, I just said, "That's it! We're done!" So NOW I can say, "We never finished 6th grade ... so this is "6b"!" Ds isn't thrilled about it, but it's TRUE! Unfortunately, it only buys me a few months -- but maybe I'll add in a few "transition" months and a "project" semester and a "gap season," and I'll have extra time to grow him up before graduation!

It's all in the phrasing, yes?!

[Carol in Cal.]

Actually, I think it might stigmatize him even more if you said that you wanted to hold him back for social reasons. It shouldn't get around, but it probably will, unfortunately.

I think that the project year is a good thing to say, and say that grade level is really nebulous in homeschooling and that he's a high 8th grader (remember low 8th and high 8th?) and so you would rather he finished out the year in the middle school program.

I'm not sure how much choice you'll have, really. It depends a lot on the leadership and the situation.

In our church, for instance, our Board of Ed made a (very bad, IMO) decision to make kids stay in the grade that they are in in school. This still rankles with me. I'm on that board, and the first time this came up, I argued for letting the parents decide. We had several children who had done a year of junior kindergarten after having started Sunday School at 3 with their regular class, so the decision broadcast to the other kids that these children effectively 'flunked' preschool in a way that I thought was unnecessary. But the parent who is also on the Youth Board argued that if the kids didn't stay with their school grade, some would be in the high school program before they actually entered high school, and that that would be bad. Excuse me??? We are holding back children from confirmation training and Holy Communion, against their parents' wishes, because of the HIGH SCHOOL PROGRAM? The tail is totally wagging the dog here. Anyway, the vote was to let the parents decide, but the next month when I was absent the Youth Board lady brought it up again, they voted the other way, and the pastor doesn't want to fight about it so he wants to leave it alone.

So you just never know. The Youth Board lady has a son who was held back, and she wants him to wait before going into the confirmation program but doesn't want to own that decision herself. So because of that, some very good Christian friendships and class affiliations among some of the younger children were lost, and some other children were very embarrassed, all for no good reason.

It didn't effect my DD, but we might very well do a second year of 8th grade with her, and I have no idea how that will be handled if we do. Our church is really confused about homeschoolers in general. Hope yours handles this better.

[gardenschooler]

Are you sure he's young for his grade. He would turn 14 in April and then start 9th in September. Instead I want him to start 9th the following year, after his 15th birthday. Is 14 for 9th not the norm?

Sorry! I thought you were talking about him starting 9th grade this year. In that case, I would just say that high school at my (home) school is for ages 15-18. :)

He'd be a little older, but really, so many boys are started late for kindergarten these days (and in those days when he was K age), he'll be in a mix of ages.

You're right, it won't hurt to be on the older side.

[Kelli in TN]

My question is- Does this bother your dc. If my parents did this to me I would have been DEVASTATED!!!!!!!!! I would be hurt that they think me not mature enough, even though I could handle the work.

There is no way for your dc to explain to his friends that he didn't "fail". They will think he is lying to hide the fact of failing.

Does your dc want to do this? Will it bother him? Is he going to feel shame and embarrassed? What if he socially matures in the next year or two and now he is held back.

I would think it better to require him to go to a local college the first year and live at home, than hold him back. This would give him time to "socially" mature under your supervision.

But, If your dc is happy about this, go for it!!
One thing we learned with our oldest son, who graduated too young and needed a gap year between graduation and the start of college, was that all of the scholarships on the table were only available if he started college the fall following graduation. So, he started and it was a disaster. We prefer to have the needed scholarship money that he might qualify AND have him be ready to go follow the money trail.

As for his friends? At church he does not really have many friends. Hence the need to give him some maturing time.

He is actually okay with it. He does NOT want to move out of the middle school group. He is in no hurry to be a high schooler.

[Kelli in TN]

Actually, I think it might stigmatize him even more if you said that you wanted to hold him back for social reasons. It shouldn't get around, but it probably will, unfortunately.

I think that the project year is a good thing to say, and say that grade level is really nebulous in homeschooling and that he's a high 8th grader (remember low 8th and high 8th?) and so you would rather he finished out the year in the middle school program.

I'm not sure how much choice you'll have, really. It depends a lot on the leadership and the situation.

In our church, for instance, our Board of Ed made a (very bad, IMO) decision to make kids stay in the grade that they are in in school. This still rankles with me. I'm on that board, and the first time this came up, I argued for letting the parents decide. We had several children who had done a year of junior kindergarten after having started Sunday School at 3 with their regular class, so the decision broadcast to the other kids that these children effectively 'flunked' preschool in a way that I thought was unnecessary. But the parent who is also on the Youth Board argued that if the kids didn't stay with their school grade, some would be in the high school program before they actually entered high school, and that that would be bad. Excuse me??? We are holding back children from confirmation training and Holy Communion, against their parents' wishes, because of the HIGH SCHOOL PROGRAM? The tail is totally wagging the dog here. Anyway, the vote was to let the parents decide, but the next month when I was absent the Youth Board lady brought it up again, they voted the other way, and the pastor doesn't want to fight about it so he wants to leave it alone.

So you just never know. The Youth Board lady has a son who was held back, and she wants him to wait before going into the confirmation program but doesn't want to own that decision herself. So because of that, some very good Christian friendships and class affiliations among some of the younger children were lost, and some other children were very embarrassed, all for no good reason.

It didn't effect my DD, but we might very well do a second year of 8th grade with her, and I have no idea how that will be handled if we do. Our church is really confused about homeschoolers in general. Hope yours handles this better.

Yeah, I was asking because I knew that saying "We are holding him back for social reasons" would be about the worst thing we could say!!! Poor guy would never live that one down.

I know the church will let me do this, we are a non-denominational church and the youth leaders are given a great deal of leeway on how things run. So, no worries there. I just needed ways to tell the youth leadership we wished to do this without making the kid look like a flunk out or a loser!

[Oak Knoll Mom]

Here's what I'd say (with a big smile):

"When he was little we were so eager for him to start school (and he was eager too because of his older siblings) that we really made a mistake and started him too young. We're just adjusting it now back to where he really *should* be. It would be so much harder to do once he started high school, don't you think?"

This way you put the responsibility on your shoulders and take away the stigma from him.:001_smile:

[Tabrett]

He is actually okay with it. He does NOT want to move out of the middle school group. He is in no hurry to be a high schooler.

If this is the case and he wants to stay in the middle school group then do it. I wouldn't even mention to the leaders of 4H or middle school group about a gap year. I would just say that HE (your dc) wants to stay in this group and you support his decision. He feel comfortable in this level and we feel this is the best place for him.

They really don't need to know your business on how you educate him.

[Kanga]

One thing we learned with our oldest son, who graduated too young and needed a gap year between graduation and the start of college, was that all of the scholarships on the table were only available if he started college the fall following graduation. So, he started and it was a disaster. We prefer to have the needed scholarship money that he might qualify AND have him be ready to go follow the money trail.

As for his friends? At church he does not really have many friends. Hence the need to give him some maturing time.

He is actually okay with it. He does NOT want to move out of the middle school group. He is in no hurry to be a high schooler.

I know quite a few parents who have children in private or ps who have held their kids back for the same reason. I think you can put a positive spin on your experience and just say that based on your older dc's experience you have found value in a gap year and have decided to allow your ds to take it before high school instead of after so he is not penalized when considered for scholarships.

[Kanga]

Here's what I'd say (with a big smile):

"When he was little we were so eager for him to start school (and he was eager too because of his older siblings) that we really made a mistake and started him too young. We're just adjusting it now back to where he really *should* be. It would be so much harder to do once he started high school, don't you think?"

This way you put the responsibility on your shoulders and take away the stigma from him.:001_smile:

This is a very good idea.

[6packofun]

Can I just hug you and say thanks for being so transparent about this subject?

Hugs and thanks. LOL

I think you are very wise to consider all of your individual dc's abilities and development in your educational decisions!!

[Stacy in NJ]

Yeah, I was asking because I knew that saying "We are holding him back for social reasons" would be about the worst thing we could say!!! Poor guy would never live that one down.

I know the church will let me do this, we are a non-denominational church and the youth leaders are given a great deal of leeway on how things run. So, no worries there. I just needed ways to tell the youth leadership we wished to do this without making the kid look like a flunk out or a loser!

I'd say something like, "We're planning on keeping ds at this level this year. We're not quite ready for highschool this year. We're kinda excited because he's doing a gap year. We're going give him some extra time to explore some special interest ........ yada, yada, yada...." you get the idea. Emphasize, for both your ds and the group leaders you'll need to speak with, that this is about him exploring, doing interesting self directed stuff with no pressure. Basically, you want him to have the opportunity to take the road not taken. Because you homeschool, you have the freedom to do this and you want to offer the ds the chance to take advantage of it.

You just need to frame it right. Spin-it. ;)

[Jami]

I haven't read all the responses, but would it take some of the sting out of it to emphasize that you want to give him the advantage of maturity when he's ready for college? My mom had my brother and me with our May and April birthdays start K at age 6, so we turned 7 at the end of our K year. It was never because we weren't mature compared with our peers, but because she wanted us to have the advantage of being MORE mature and ready for high school and college. It just sounds more positive to say, it's not because you're immature (even if that's true) but because we want to give you an advantage that a lot of 17/18 year old guys don't have when they're heading out on their own for the first time, an extra year to grow up a bit. ;)

I have a son with an early April birthday and I think it's very likely we'll have an 8.5 grade here before starting high school. Or a gap year between high school and college if need be. I'd like him to have an extra year somewhere anyway. :001_smile:

Jami