WWYD - neighbor issue

[Plaid Dad]

We just got back from 10 days house-sitting for friends in another state. Our neighbors, who are also our landlords, agreed to feed and clean up after our cats during that time. We have a great relationship with them and have taken care of their animals numerous times in the last year when they were away.

We came home to find that, while the cat box had been scooped, the bagged up litter had been sitting in the kitchen trash and the house was swarming (and I do mean swarming) with small flies. It was beyond disgusting. One of the cats had also been sick on the floor, and it had not been cleaned up. A towel had fallen on the floor, been peed on, and was left there.

What can we say to them? We live in a two-family house with these folks and really like them, but the lack of common sense care here really upset us. We are aware that our respective comfort levels with clutter and cleanliness differ, but this was really beyond anything we could have expected.

Obviously we will be finding someone else to take care of our animals the next time we're away, but in the meantime, how do we tell them that we are upset about how they handled this?

[Jen3boys]

I wouldn't say anything, just find another pet-sitter next time. And give them very specific instructions about where to put the scooped litter, etc. That's just me though.

[dawn of ns]

I agree. It's already been done so there's nothing you can really say that would fix anything so don't bother. Enjoy them as friends and neighbours but don't trust them for something like this again.

[Cadam]

If you did say something what would change? Could any reply or excuse convince you to allow them to watch your pets again? Could saying something clue them in or will it just offend them? Would saying something make you feel better or worse?

I really don't have an answer to your question but I am thinking that if saying something hurts the relationship and nothing can be gained, it might just not be worth it.

but, ewwwwwwwww! Sorry you had to come home to that. YUCK!

[elegantlion]

As the sole responsible party for cat scooping in our household I understand. If this is two party home I would use that as a way to approach. I would gently ask if they had been experiencing any fly issues lately. I would feign ignorance and surprise if they say no. "Oh it must have been the litter in the kitchen. We normally take it outside to the can." Then smile and wait for their response. :001_smile:

As far as the kitty barf and towel I would have to let it go. If they don't get the point after the fly comment, they're not going to care.

If it is a common sense issue, well you know what they say about common sense.

Hope you got rid of the flies, ugh!

[jpklehm]

:iagree:Yep, you have to live next door to them, so ignore this for now and get someone else next time. I would want to say something because that
would really gross me out, but living next door to someone who you're on
the outs with is very uncomfortable and stressful...bite your tongue.

[kalanamak]

I agree. It's already been done so there's nothing you can really say that would fix anything so don't bother. Enjoy them as friends and neighbours but don't trust them for something like this again.


Yup. I had a similar situation, but the neighbor said she stopped scooping when she saw the litter pan was full of maggots (she was too disgusted). When I got home there were NO maggots, but a house full of the biggest, darkest, hungriest houseflies you have ever seen. They nearly knocked me over in their escape as I opened the door.

[Kris]

Wow -- just -- wow! Sure, you might have differing opinions on cleanliness, etc., but flies and barf? Is there really a lot of leeway there? I mean, I'm pretty lax in the housekeeping department, but barf is not allowed to ripen for more than 24 hours. Ya gotta have standards! :D

I just wouldn't mention it. Obviously, they didn't notice a problem, or, hopefully, they would have taken care of it. So by bringing it up, you either get "Huh?" or excuses -- none of which will really make any difference at this point.

I hope you don't have too much trouble finding someone else!

[lovemyboys]

We just got back from 10 days house-sitting for friends in another state. Our neighbors, who are also our landlords, agreed to feed and clean up after our cats during that time.

It was beyond disgusting.

What can we say to them? We live in a two-family house with these folks and really like them, but the lack of common sense care here really upset us.

we gave our very responsible and mature 9 year old neighbor the hired job of feeding the fish, bringing in any mail or papers that might come (despite holds) and watering the plants while we were away last summer. She was flattered to be asked and thrilled to have a "petsitting" job like her older sister.

When we got back a week later, we found that our *elderly* beloved catfish died while we were gone. We figured it was just his time but were also curious, since there was a stack of mail and a newspaper out, whether she'd check very often.

Fast forward to the Christmas holidays, we figure we'll give her the benefit of the doubt and have her do the same chores every couple of days. It was a mess, very clear that she probably didn't even walk in my house after the first day. A week of mail had stacked up, a couple of plants shrivelled, etc. The younger fish survived but hadn't seen any food all week.

It was just weird. This is a nice family, with a sweet responsible girl who was eager to show her capabilities with a little "job." I didn't get it, why would the family just let the whole week go by like this -- not help her remember or walk over with her, or do it themselves if she didn't want to be bothered. Kwim?

Bottom line: Don't accept a job/favor for a friend if you have no intention of doing it. In your case, PD, I think you do like we did and just let it go. Lesson learned, because the relationship is more important in the long run. Be glad, though it was gross, that it was limited to a couple areas and the cats are okay.

Still makes you shake your head though.

[Michelle in MO]

It does sound like your neighbors were negligent, but you still want to keep a good relationship with them. Some of the conditions of the house you might have to "let go" of.

However, I might try a slightly different tack: you might perhaps ask them if they had a particularly stressful or busy week while you were gone. You might then mention that you noticed some things like the flies and the cat vomit, etc., or ask if the cats were sick and they were uncertain about how to deal with the situation.

These situations are so touchy. On the one hand, you want to keep a good relationship with these people; but on the other hand, saying something may be necessary for your own peace of mind. Only you and your dw can discern exactly what is necessary for peace in that situation. We have to forgive and let go of things; on the other hand, Ephesians 4:25 says to speak truthfully to our neighbors, and I also thought there was another NT verse which mentions we must "speak the truth in love". That is so very hard! Sometimes I don't "speak the truth" at all in situations, and only get angry inside. At other times I blow up, and then regret that I didn't speak in love! This is a very difficult area for me, personally.

Then, I think, depending upon their response, you might have to find another cat-sitter.

I hope that whatever you decide to do, it all goes well!

[Plaid Dad]

Thanks, everyone. I was able to have a calm "gee, did you notice any flies?" conversation about it and got an apology. That's really all I was looking for, since what's done is done. All is well and we're having dinner together...outdoors. :)

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

We just got back from 10 days house-sitting for friends in another state. Our neighbors, who are also our landlords, agreed to feed and clean up after our cats during that time. We have a great relationship with them and have taken care of their animals numerous times in the last year when they were away.

We came home to find that, while the cat box had been scooped, the bagged up litter had been sitting in the kitchen trash and the house was swarming (and I do mean swarming) with small flies. It was beyond disgusting. One of the cats had also been sick on the floor, and it had not been cleaned up. A towel had fallen on the floor, been peed on, and was left there.

What can we say to them? We live in a two-family house with these folks and really like them, but the lack of common sense care here really upset us. We are aware that our respective comfort levels with clutter and cleanliness differ, but this was really beyond anything we could have expected.

Obviously we will be finding someone else to take care of our animals the next time we're away, but in the meantime, how do we tell them that we are upset about how they handled this?

Don't say ANYthing. Honestly, if your standards are different, believe me when I say they did not notice that they did anything wrong. Just don't ask them again.

[Cindy in the NH Woods]

Stressed cats can really do some nasty stuff. I cat-sat for friends, and walked in to find piles of cr*p, puddles of bloody pee, and cat puke everywhere. On the floor. On the kitchen counters. On the dining room table. I bought extra litter boxes (to no avail). I cleaned, and mopped daily. And still every time I came over, there was mess everywhere. I did take one of the cats in to the vet, treated him for a urinary tract infection, and made a little nest for him in my garage where he could rest and get better. And not poop on the dining room table. I am not exagerrating here.

I really think that poor cat missed my friend so badly, that it made him sick.

Anyway, it's possible- though not probable- that your cats were into mischief that had to be handled. Just a thought!

Regards,
Cindy

PS: Either way, used litter goes out of the house.:tongue_smilie:

P.P.S.: Just read your update. That's great!

[Kris]

Stressed cats can really do some nasty stuff. I cat-sat for friends, and walked in to find piles of cr*p, puddles of bloody pee, and cat puke everywhere. On the floor. On the kitchen counters. On the dining room table. I bought extra litter boxes (to no avail). I cleaned, and mopped daily. And still every time I came over, there was mess everywhere. I did take one of the cats in to the vet, treated him for a urinary tract infection, and made a little nest for him in my garage where he could rest and get better. And not poop on the dining room table. I am not exagerrating here.

I really think that poor cat missed my friend so badly, that it made him sick.

Anyway, it's possible- though not probable- that your cats were into mischief that had to be handled. Just a thought!

I was thinking this myself. I took care of a neighbor's cats for a week and they were very upset that their family was gone, but . . .

PS: Either way, used litter goes out of the house.:tongue_smilie:

Exactly. :)