If you were to write an honest ad iso a nanny, what would it include?

[HomeOnTheRanch]

I just ran across this NYT article (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/28/nyregion/28nanny.html?_r=1&em&oref=slogin). While I would never have the gumption to actually say all the things she said in the ad (and obviously we don't see eye-to-eye on a lot of things), it did get me thinking about what exactly I would advertise...there are days it would come awfully close to what she posted! While I'm mulling it over, I would love to see some of your wit's end potential ads!

Amuse me, please!

[Jean in Newcastle]

Hmmm. My kids are not a pain in any part of my body (at least all the time - we all have moments, right!)

My ad would read:

"Must have high tolerance for discussions on global warming, the Middle East, ancient cultures etc. with 11 year old boy.
Must be willing to watch countless "gymnastics routines" and impromptu concerts in the living room by 6 year old girl.
Must not sneer when the mom takes a nap every afternoon"

[OnTheBrink]

If you want this choice position
Have a cheery disposition
Rosy cheeks, no warts!
Play games, all sort

You must be kind, you must be witty
Very sweet and fairly pretty
Take us on outings, give us treats
Sing songs, bring sweets

Never be cross or cruel
Never give us castor oil or gruel
Love us as a son and daughter
And never smell of barley water

If you won't scold and dominate us
We will never give you cause to hate us
We won't hide your spectacles
So you can't see
Put toads in your bed
Or pepper in your tea
Hurry, Nanny!
Many thanks

:lol::lol:

[Sasharowan]

If you want this choice position
Have a cheery disposition
Rosy cheeks, no warts!
Play games, all sort

You must be kind, you must be witty
Very sweet and fairly pretty
Take us on outings, give us treats
Sing songs, bring sweets

Never be cross or cruel
Never give us castor oil or gruel
Love us as a son and daughter
And never smell of barley water

If you won't scold and dominate us
We will never give you cause to hate us
We won't hide your spectacles
So you can't see
Put toads in your bed
Or pepper in your tea
Hurry, Nanny!
Many thanks

:lol::lol:

That was my first thought too. :lol:

[Mama Bear]

I like SolaMichella's. :D

If I were looking? I'd require someone who can cook, clean, be very quiet, constantly full of energy and solutions, drive a billion miles a week for everything from therapies to music to sports to play "dates" (hate that term). Someone who can understands why my eldest can't focus on anything else if something electronic is running within a hundred yards or why #2 needs, no needs, at least one sleepover/week and her own room. RIGHT NOW. Why #3 is always mortally offended when spelling or reading are announced, but we mustn't grumble when she decides we should all make soup. Perhaps also why #4 is afraid of the basement. And how to fix #5's sleepless nights. I do not necessarily need to know why any of these things are the way they are. After all, I only have so many hours in any given day. I merely want them fixed. Now. Permanently. And for free. Because that's my budget and I don't get to be judged for even the "occasional Bergdorf bag" though I work my hiney off. :tongue_smilie:

What I really want, though, isn't a nanny. It's the ability to pause time so I can catch a little extra sleep plus that somewhat mythical space of reflection and renewal. And then wake up refreshed, refocused, and having missed not one second of the important stuff they do all the time and with alarming unpredictability. :D

How are you, madame?

[HomeOnTheRanch]

Yes, yes, and yes! That's what I was looking for!

Jean, that was almost a perfect ad for our household!

:grouphug:


MamaB, I pm'd you!

[Kate CA]

If you want this choice position
Have a cheery disposition
Rosy cheeks, no warts!
Play games, all sort

You must be kind, you must be witty
Very sweet and fairly pretty
Take us on outings, give us treats
Sing songs, bring sweets

Never be cross or cruel
Never give us castor oil or gruel
Love us as a son and daughter
And never smell of barley water

If you won't scold and dominate us
We will never give you cause to hate us
We won't hide your spectacles
So you can't see
Put toads in your bed
Or pepper in your tea
Hurry, Nanny!
Many thanks

:lol::lol:

Don't forget the signature!

"Jane and Michael Banks"
:D

[RenayofRohan]

If you want this choice position
Have a cheery disposition
Rosy cheeks, no warts!
Play games, all sort

You must be kind, you must be witty
Very sweet and fairly pretty
Take us on outings, give us treats
Sing songs, bring sweets

Never be cross or cruel
Never give us castor oil or gruel
Love us as a son and daughter
And never smell of barley water

If you won't scold and dominate us
We will never give you cause to hate us
We won't hide your spectacles
So you can't see
Put toads in your bed
Or pepper in your tea
Hurry, Nanny!
Many thanks

:lol::lol:


Nothing very witty from me tonight ~ Mary was my first thought:

Oh, it's a jolly holiday
With Mary
Mary makes your 'eart so light
When the day is gray
And ordinary
Mary makes the sun shine bright! :001_cool:

[PariSarah]

"Seeking part-time French-speaking nanny for two boys. You must speak French because we multi-task everything: I listen to books on CD while doing chores, cook while homeschooling, fold clothes while watching movies, and knit while doing schoolwork. You are no exception--you're babysitting and keeping up our older son's French at the same time.

Our older son is helpful, cheerful, obedient, and gentle. Except when he's not. If he thinks you're a wuss, he will bulldoze you into submission. Watch out for that.

Our younger son is . . . uh, . . . curious and energetic. Do not leave him alone. Ever. And especially not in a place where he can kill himself. I haven't yet found a place that's not one of those.

The younger one takes a nap in the afternoon. It's a nice long nap, unless he gets no other stimulation than playing with cars in the living room. Your two principal jobs are 1) to speak French, and 2) to make sure the little one takes a nice long nap. Stimulate--walks, swing rides, books, balls (outside please!), and semi-educational activities like building towers and knocking them down or counting all the shoes on our shoe bench.

Sometimes we'll be doing homeschool with the older one during your on-duty hours. But other times, he'll join you and the little. They really do love each other and you can mostly just let the older one babysit the younger. You're there to keep the older one from giving the younger one shaken baby syndrome, forgetting to bring him in from outside when he's done playing, and otherwise treating him as a toy rather than a human being.

One of us will be home and in the study while you're on duty. The other one will be at his/her place of employment. The study is to be to you as the Holy of Holies. No one enters, except perhaps with a rope tied around his ankle so that you can drag out his dead body should he be struck dead for his presumption.

You'll have afternoons and evenings off--get another job, take some classes, write the great French novel, do whatever you like.

We'll be very nice and caring, especially on your birthday and at Christmas, but we have no interest in parenting you. Make sure we don't need to. We'll be friendly, even, but you should plan on making lots of other friends.

You should also plan on being around Jesus people. There's lots of them around here. It tends to bubble just under the surface 24/7, and you never know when it'll break out into a nonsensical praise tune, a rocking debate on the meaning of words you can't pronounce, or a passionate and thoroughgoing tirade against something you always thought was normal. When we have guests over, it gets worse.

Love,
Us"

[Carrie1234]

My ad would be overrun with quotation marks.

"Spirited children", "mediate", "inquisitive", etc.

And it would have to mention a high tolerance for pet hair.

[Mama Bear]

Hooray! I love your ad. Let us know how it goes. :D ;)

[CactusPair]

After today (and evening homeschool), mine would read:

Someone, save me! Please!
No corporeal punishment (good self-control skills needed)
Must be comfortable being in the home while I nap.
Must be comfortable around a wild pack of dogs
Proper grammar a plus
Must tolerate clutter and the absence of TV
No hotties need apply

Any takers?

[lovelearnandlive]

No hotties need apply

:lol::lol::lol:

[Stacy in NJ]

To earn money for college, I worked as a nanny in both NYC and Chicago. There are alot of crazy rich people in America. Really. Nutty.

Typically, women who have careers as "artists" or "consultants" that involve very little art or, as far as I could tell, consulting. They frequently have more than one full time nanny, a housekeeper, and sometimes a cook/chef and still feel overwhelmed and overworked. This is not a political statement, but I can guarantee to you, that they all hate Sarah Palins guts.:D