Left hand on the tabel while eating with right, etc

[Annie N]

I was raised that you keep your left hand on the table when using your right hand for your fork, but I think this is a European rather than American custom.

It drives me crazy to see my children slouching lower and lower to the left when their hands on on their laps.

What do you all do?

Thanks :)

[Snickerdoodle]

Fork in left, knife in right.

[LizzyBee]

Left hand in lap unless being used eg using knife and fork together to cut meat, etc.

[laylamcb]

Left hand in lap unless being used eg using knife and fork together to cut meat, etc.

Ditto. :001_smile:

[In The Great White North]

Tell them to "sit up straight." My dc slouch no matter which hand holds which utensil (which changes frequently) or where their hands are.

It was my mom's mantra too.

Both the left hand on the table and the fork in left, knife in right are predominantly European customs.

Reportedly, it was changed by the Redcoats, who didn't want to see Colonists sitting around with knives in their right hands, at the ready!

[WendyK]

My husband is from Germany so obviously both ways are done in our home. My husband thinks the way I eat is nuts and I think the way he eats is ok, but I am used to my way.

Honestly, as long as my kids don't act like total slobs, I am just happy to get them to eat something and sit still for a bit. They are young though (3 and 6).

[swellmomma]

Left hand in lap unless being used eg using knife and fork together to cut meat, etc.

Same here. We were always taught hand in lap, otherwise we wound up slouching more and more across the table.

[angela in ohio]

Left hand in lap unless being used eg using knife and fork together to cut meat, etc.

Same here. And absolutely no slouching of any kind is allowed. :)

[Parabola]

As long as their not eating messily, keeping all four legs of the chair on the floor, minding each others space, not spilling their drink, and sitting up reasonably straight, then I don't care where their hands are. I don't even care if we put our elbows on the table, I think thats a silly rule.

[Remudamom]

Ditto. :001_smile:


Double ditto.

[Bess]

Left hand in lap unless being used eg using knife and fork together to cut meat, etc.

Ditto.

[Danestress]

Honestly, I can't think right now what my kids do. I guess I am not a picky Mom. My rules are, "Sit up straight, elbows off the table, chew with your mouth closed." Since many of children I see out about about can't seem to follow these basic rules, I feel we are doing okay to stick here for a while.

[lauranav]

I was raised to keep elbows off the table, right hand in lap (I'm left handed) unless using a knife to cut something. Put the knife down after every cut. No talking with your mouth full. Wait until everyone finishes before leaving the table.
I have abandoned everyone of those in most instances, but still use them in public. My problem is training my nephew to eat in public now. ;-)
I also have to be careful when I eat at my brother-in-law's house because his wife is raising her children right and they will correct me if my elbow ends up on the table.

[nukeswife]

As long as their not eating messily, keeping all four legs of the chair on the floor, minding each others space, not spilling their drink, and sitting up reasonably straight, then I don't care where their hands are. I don't even care if we put our elbows on the table, I think thats a silly rule.

:iagree:

I never understood the whole no elbows on the table rule. I guess maybe I should look up the why behind it.

[GraceinMD]

It drives me crazy to see my children slouching lower and lower to the left when their hands on on their laps.


I had to laugh at this, because we've just recently started docking ds's allowance when he has his L elbow on the table and not in his lap. Unfortunately, I let him read this post, so maintaining "order" :D might become more difficult ("Mrs. Annie N says SHE does xyz.")! (Of course, then we can dock him for disrespect, right?! ;))

[TeacherZee]

Fork in left, knife in right.

:iagree: I was raised in Europe

Left hand in lap unless being used eg using knife and fork together to cut meat, etc.

:iagree: When I eat soup or cereal or anything else where I only use a spoon or a fork and no knife(dessert comes to mind)

If you are unlucky enough to sit next to my dad he will whack your arm if you sit with it on the table and it isn't connected to a utensil. My cousin NEVER learns and sits next to my dad at family dinners. :D

[elegantlion]

As long as their not eating messily, keeping all four legs of the chair on the floor, minding each others space, not spilling their drink, and sitting up reasonably straight, then I don't care where their hands are. I don't even care if we put our elbows on the table, I think thats a silly rule.


:iagree: Sitting through the entire meal is a good thing. Now when we go out to eat especially with our parents, we bump up the manners. but we're fairly casual in etiquette.

[melissel]

As long as their not eating messily, keeping all four legs of the chair on the floor, minding each others space, not spilling their drink, and sitting up reasonably straight, then I don't care where their hands are. I don't even care if we put our elbows on the table, I think thats a silly rule.

:iagree: I've never even heard of any of the other rules! Well, except for fork in the left and knife in the right (or vice versa if you're left handed), but I thought that was just a practical thing, not some kind of etiquette rule. I guess we're really lax around here--we let D5 read at the table unless we're trying to have some kind of family conversation. Usually DH and I dominate the conversation with catching up on the day, so she's bored.

[swellmomma]

Honestly, I can't think right now what my kids do. I guess I am not a picky Mom. My rules are, "Sit up straight, elbows off the table, chew with your mouth closed." Since many of children I see out about about can't seem to follow these basic rules, I feel we are doing okay to stick here for a while.

over all I agree but I am also happy I enforced the other rules. My dd for example is invited over for dinner at her friend's place often lately. The reason being, the parents say they are amazed at her impeccable manners and hope it will rub off on their children. While I am not sending my dd to teach their children, I am very happy that I can send her knowing she will follow every bit of etiquette and not embarass me. All of my kids by age 3 follow the full list of table rules I have, at home and else where. The exception is pizza night when we eat in the livingroom watching tv.

[Sasharowan]

Elbows off the table and sit up straight was heard nightly as I grew up. Around here, it's sit down and eat, hands off other people's plates, and no chasing each other at mealtime.

[krazzymommy]

I am one of those krazzy lefties - so my fork goes in my left hand. There's always got to be someone who goes against the grain, right? :D

While I have always heard "no elbows on the table" it was never enforced in our home, so I don't know how much we'll enforce it either. Right now, I'm trying to get the ds to actually use silverware. :lol:

[Annie N]

First, I want to thank everyone :) What an incredible variety!


Elbows off the table and sit up straight was heard nightly as I grew up. Around here, it's sit down and eat, hands off other people's plates, and no chasing each other at mealtime.
I guess we're doing ok then, because my children have all reached this level ;)

I had to laugh at this, because we've just recently started docking ds's allowance when he has his L elbow on the table and not in his lap. Unfortunately, I let him read this post, so maintaining "order" :D might become more difficult ("Mrs. Annie N says SHE does xyz.")! (Of course, then we can dock him for disrespect, right?! ;))
Oh, I was talking about hands, only up to the wrist. You can tell him my father used to go for our elbows with the knife handle when we were careless enough to put our elbows on the table (gasp!), but I don't think he ever "caught" any of us (and he was kinda slooowww about it, which leads me to suspect that he wasn't really trying ;) )

So if he tries that, definitely dock him for disrespect!!!!


[QUOTE=melissel;487395]Well, except for fork in the left and knife in the right (or vice versa if you're left handed), but I thought that was just a practical thing, not some kind of etiquette rule.
A couple of other people mentioned this too, vice versa for left-handed! My father's a leftie, so he just naturally did what our mother had to work hard to instill in us, which was not to put the knife down and switch hands... (I seriously don't get that!!!)

And I used to read at the table too, until they noticed I had a book in my lap :(




Thanks to everyone! I guess I will just not worry too much about it all, then, if y'all aren't!

[TraceyS/FL]

A couple of other people mentioned this too, vice versa for left-handed! My father's a leftie, so he just naturally did what our mother had to work hard to instill in us, which was not to put the knife down and switch hands... (I seriously don't get that!!!)

I don't switch if i'm eating something that i'm cutting. But i'd prefer to cut it all up and eat with my right hand/right fork.

I think.

IT's actually one of those things that because i'm THINKING about it, i can't think of what i do! LOL!!