I'm so broken. I need prayers, please CC

[Chris in VA]

As I have shared, my ds16 is in rehab, in a dual diagnosis program here in VA. He was addicted (is addicted but not using) to alcohol and several drugs, and also has been diagnosed with depression and conduct disorder. At first, we put him in a residential treatment program in Newport News. This was locked, b/c he ran away from the first treatment program we tried in Arkansas. He has been in and out of Juvenile Detention because of probation violations. Now, he is in this nearby center, and I think they are going to charge him with a violation--if he doesn't complete the program, he goes to jail.
His conduct disorder prevents him from trusting the staff and sharing his feelings--he distrusts systems and authorities, and feels everyone is out to get him. He has pretty much shut down. Not to mention, he also was aware of behaviour going on between some residents and didn't report it, which can get you kicked out, too.
My heart is just so sore over this. I really don't want him to go to the other program in town--it would be much harsher (too harsh, I feel), and I don't think it would work, plus (and mainly) it's a year long. He's already been gone about a year.
I just wish he could make this program work. It doesn't look good.
I have surrendered this child to the Lord, and I am very close to God now--ds is my teacher in so many ways. But I am heartsick. Please pray for strength, for miracles, for my son to make a decision to participate in treatment and get the heck out of there. Please help.
Thanks for letting me vent.

[Daisy]

I will be praying for you. My mother went through this exact same thing with my sister. It was a long, exhausting road but my sister is now stable and has a family of her own. I will most definitely pray for you and your family. I can imagine no harder thing then to see a child go through something like this.

[OnTheBrink]

I'm really sorry for what you're going through. I pray his issues can be resolved and that you can feel peace.

[GothicGyrl]

I really don't want him to go to the other program in town--it would be much harsher (too harsh, I feel)

Just as an opinion--maybe this is what he truly needs. I understand you want him home. You miss him, etc. But if he is this "bad", maybe "harsh" is exactly what he needs.

You know, some people just don't "get it" until you hit rock bottom. Maybe this "harsh" is his rock bottom. Don't discount it entirely, please. Consider that it might be his last hope.

[Amy in Orlando]

Prayers here, Chris. ((()))

[Chris in VA]

Yes, you are correct. It definitely could be what he needs. I'm not the expert on CD, only the expert on my son--and even so, I don't always see what he needs. One of the problems with the other treatment center is that it is so close to home--he could easily run away b/c he knows the neighborhood well. But I can't let what he might do inhibit our choices for treatment.
New research in treatment says people don't need to hit rock bottom to receive treatment, but I wonder if some do need to, in order to *stay* in treatment, and to get the most out of it.
It is very, very hard to consider this his last hope. Thank you for your support.
(I know--I can do hard things. I can do this. And he can do this, if this is what is best.) Sigh.
Staying at his current place is still on the table, as is outpatient. Today we have a therapy appt at 3:30. I'll update tonight.

[Rich with Kids]

{{{Chris in VA}}} I'll be praying for your ds.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Prayers for peace and objectivity. It is so hard, I know.

[StaceyL in Canada]

Chris, I am so sorry to hear this. I recall your posting about your son a while back--must have been on the high school board. You have been so encouraging to me over the years and I want to be there for you too--despite being miles away in Canada. How I wish I had words of wisdom beyond "hang in there" and "I'm praying." WHen things have been tough for me, I have clung tot he promise that all things work for good to those who love God. You do. Bless you all.

[Stephanie in FL]

Oh ((((Chris)))
I am truly so sorry for the heartache you are experiencing. The constant emotional tug of what is best is so difficult when it comes to our children. I pray that whatever decision is made is the best one for him and that you and your family will have peace about it. May the Lord give you strength and wisdom during this time.

[PariSarah]

My very best wishes for you and your ds.

[Kelli in TN]

Chris, I cannot imagine what you are going through. I have prayed for you today.

[unsinkable]

you all have my prayers.

unsinkable

[Liz CA]

Yes, you are correct. It definitely could be what he needs. I'm not the expert on CD, only the expert on my son--and even so, I don't always see what he needs. One of the problems with the other treatment center is that it is so close to home--he could easily run away b/c he knows the neighborhood well. But I can't let what he might do inhibit our choices for treatment.
New research in treatment says people don't need to hit rock bottom to receive treatment, but I wonder if some do need to, in order to *stay* in treatment, and to get the most out of it.
It is very, very hard to consider this his last hope. Thank you for your support.
(I know--I can do hard things. I can do this. And he can do this, if this is what is best.) Sigh.
Staying at his current place is still on the table, as is outpatient. Today we have a therapy appt at 3:30. I'll update tonight.

there was a book published by Focus on the Family (Dr. James Dobson) a few years back titled "Tough Love or Love must be tough". It may just help to read what other people in similar situations have gone through and to know you are not alone!

Praying here.

[Crissy]

(((Chris)))
We will pray for your family.

[WTMindy]

Praying for you now!!!