How do I tame the chaos?

[Mama3]

I am so glad I found this forum! I've been leaning instinctively toward afterschooling way before I knew the term. Now that I am here... I am overwhelmed! Please, all you wiser heads, tell me that it can be done while working full-time! :)

I want to start afterschooling my ds age 6 (beginning ps 1st grade in 2 weeks). Dd is a sensitive 4.5 who needs a lot of mama time and ds2 a textbook example of "terrible two's". How to apportion the finite amount of attention/time among the 3 dc's with very different needs? How to organize our time? How do I tame the chaos?

This is my first year back at work after staying home with them since ds1 was born. While I was never organized enough (and always too sleep-deprived) to use any sort of systematic preschool curriculum, I taught both ds1 and dd their alphabet and other stuff, worked through most of the Bob Books with ds1 by the time he started kindergarten, and read to them every available moment. We still spend a lengthy bedtime period with me reading to them: library books (I try seek out the highest quality child lit), What Your Kindergartner Should Know (the emphasis on core content is somewhat similar to TWTM emphasis on fact-gathering in early grades, although less rigorous). Ds1 finished kindergarten ranked as the best reader in his class but, to my chagrin, is refusing to sit down with a book on his own.

With the aid of my wonderful au pair, I spent the summer teaching ds1 and dd about "Countries" -- a home-made 10-week program of 10 countries (library books, YouTube songs, coloring pages and crafts from the Internet, weekly country-related meal). I was all proud of myself (especially since ds1 found all 10 countries on the map last week in the dentist's office) until I stumbled upon this website and realized that perhaps I should have spent the time teaching spelling and grammar!

Now that I'm back at work (with a nanny/au pair at home), available time is severely limited, and my teaching priorities compete with the rest of life.

Here is our daily schedule. Morning is dominated by the toddler who gets me out of bed by 6 am, and that's already a great improvement. I am out of the house (at work/commuting) from 7:30am to 5:30pm. Ds1 takes the school bus at 8:40 and gets home closer to 4. Dd and ds2 are at home with the au pair. There are occasional afternoon playdates for ds1 and dd. Unfortunately, there is also occasional TV, mostly on week-ends as a late-afternoon riot control device (yes; I know. They only watch Noggin, though). Bedtime procedures begin at 7:30 but reading and talking continues sometimes until 9. So, realistically, there are about 2 hours on a week-day in which to fit afterschooling, dinner, playdates, sibling bickering :), etc. We've left week-ends free so far for "papa time" for ds1 and dd (museums, parks, Starbucks, etc.) and errands/housework for me, although the nightly reading continues.

Dh is on the fence about afterschooling and is generally exhausted from work/commute, so I will be the lone warrior. I am not the fountain of energy, either, so it becomes important for us all to spend some amount of unstructured downtime to decompress, cuddle dc's, catch those "teachable moments", etc.

So...
- How to work formal schoolwork into the day?
- How much is enough at one sitting?
- What to do with the toddler while his brother studies?
- What to do with dd, who is proving resistant to Bob Books?
- What is a minimum budget for all the afterschooling materials? I've managed almost exclusively with my local public library so far but I see I must stock up on stuff.

I will be grateful for any advice...

[mommatlaw]

Hi, Mama3. I am relatively new to this board and a frequent lurker. Like you, I work full-time (more or less) outside of the home. I have a 5.5 year old DD, who will start public school Kindergarten on Monday, and a 2.5 year old DD, who attends a private pre-school. I have not considered homeschooling to be a viable option for my family, but I have grown increasingly committed to and excited about the concept of afterschooling. My husband is supportive, but this is my undertaking, so his involvement is limited to keeping my DD2.5 busy while I am working with my DD5.5. Even though I am not a homeschooler, I have wanna-be tendencies and have found this site to be a treasure-trove of insight.

I have a big cabinet filled with the wonderful materials that I would like to share with my girls and a calendar within which to schedule tasks. The pencils are sharpened and the reward stickers are ready. I really want to do this... Now I just have to make it work! I do not have a magic solution to offer, but rest assured that you are certainly not on your own.

Our new schedule looks like this:

-Wake Up at 6.
-Girls and I out the door at 7:15.
-Pick up DD2.5 at 3:15 and DD5.5 at 3:45.
-Home to veg out, play and (keeping it real) watch a little t.v. to relax.
-Dinner at 5.
-Baths at 5:30.
-Quiet (haha!) time from 6 to 7 for both girls. This may include reading aloud, educational computer programs (such as HeadSprout and BrainPopJr) and anything not related to Hannah Montana. ;)
-Daddy home at 7, usually.
-After a few minutes with Daddy, DD5.5 gives him kisses goodnight, and she and I go to her room to "work together." If Daddy is working late, all bets are off. However, starting next week, even if I am busy with DD2.5, DD5.5 will have to go to her room to look at books on her own (I'm not sure if this will work, but it's my goal). Within 6 months or so, I expect (hope) that DD2.5 will be capable of "working together," too.

After spinning my wheels a bunch, I have narrowed down the subject matter of our afterschooling for the time being to reading, beginning math and critical thinking. I would love to broaden that to include a Little House unit study, here and there, or art projects, but, realistically, we just don't have the time with our current schedule. Not only that, but I know that I have to consider how much my DDs can handle in their day. I do not want to over tax them, and I do not want them to feel like they are in school 12 hours each day. For that reason, I have begun relying upon educational games (sight word bingo!), rather than workbooks (which are like pulling teeth lately). My bottom-line goal - do the best I can with the time and resources that I have, recognizing that my DDs will receive an education outside of my home, as well.

Here are my takes on your questions:

So...
- How to work formal schoolwork into the day? We fit 30-45 minutes of formal schoolwork in before bedtime, 4-5 times each week.
- How much is enough at one sitting? We do 30-45 minutes.
- What to do with the toddler while his brother studies? This is where Daddy comes in. If he's not available, she's going to have to do things that she can handle on her own. HeadSprout, worksheets, etc.
- What to do with dd, who is proving resistant to Bob Books? My 5.5DD resisted Bob Books for a while, too. HeadSprout.com has been wonderful for her. As a result of HeadSprout, together with our nightly reading, she will begin Kindergarten a fluent reader. And, even better, she will now pick up a book on her own without any prodding from me.
- What is a minimum budget for all the afterschooling materials? I've managed almost exclusively with my local public library so far but I see I must stock up on stuff. I have a weakness for online purchases, so I can't be of much help here. However, check out the materials for sale here on WTM. There's also lots on EBay. Lately, Target has had terrific workbooks and flashcards in the dollar section.

As I mentioned earlier, I have found the WTM bulletin boards to be a wonderful resource. I also frequent the following board, which consists predominantly of afterschoolers and offers insight from a different perspective: http://afterschoolers.yuku.com/

Take care!

Michele

[Mama3]

Thanks so much for the link to the other afterschoolers site! Since I'm so new to this, it's very helpful to see what other people have done.

[purplecow7]

I don't think it can be tamed. :lol:
How to work formal schoolwork into the day? -Depends on the day. Somedays nothing and somedays we do lots and lots. I create end goals like learn 3 latin words a week and then try to schedule that in.

- How much is enough at one sitting? - Again it depends. Sometimes it is as fast as 5 minutes and other days it can be 45 minutes.
- What to do with the toddler while his brother studies? When my twins were smaller (ok I still do it) I would put on an educational video or better yet a video in Spanish (love the library). Or get them set up with a "new" toy only used when afterschooling the older ones. Or pull out crafts like paper and crayons or chalk or water play outside while I worked with the older ones.
- What to do with dd, who is proving resistant to Bob Books? I love the HOP program (hooked on phonics). It works perfect for the afterschool. I don't use the tapes and do the sounds myself. Basically there is a work book and when you learn enough sounds and letters then it tells you to read one of the books. Some days they would do one page and other days they would read 4 plus a book. The other idea is to use small letter tiles (got mine from Walmart) and then they play putting words together. Or have them learn to read by writing.
- What is a minimum budget for all the afterschooling materials? I've managed almost exclusively with my local public library so far but I see I must stock up on stuff. This is not a good area for me I buy way to much stuff. I buy educational material like some women buy shoes. It is a sickness. But I buy workbooks at the dollar tree and I shop on ebay. I also use those plasic sleeves and use dry erase markers. I just got this great map of the US in plastic from the dollar store. It will be so cool for the kids to write on and really play with the states and capitals.

When you afterschool you really need to get out of the box on what education is. For example making cupcakes one of my dd favorite things to do. First their is reading the box - awesome because it has pictures like 3 eggs, then their is the measuring (math) then the mixing (help with fine motor skills) the same with frosting them. Oh and making pizza -great for learning fractions.

A trip to NC to visit Grammy. First a quick trip to the library to get books on NC and flowers. Then an hour spent with grammy looking at flowers in her garden and finding them in the book. Did you know that NC is the tar heal state? and even has a toast. Nothing like a bug catcher and an after dinner walk or a talk on how old a tree is.

I also count soccer, TKD, piano and violin into my afterschooling program. Then there is listening to classical music over dinner while you talk about the life of Motzart. Again the libary has ton of children's books on him as well as some CD or you can find these cheap on amazon - the ones that WTM talks about. less then $5 on sale. You can also do car schooling nothing like listening to the Trojon Horse on CD or spanish tapes. We tried learning Korean for awhile in the car. OF course at one point I think my children could tell me no in about 6 languages. :lol: Oh and the car is the perfect place to do math facts. My favorite is when I tought the little ones to count by 2, 2,4,6,8, who do we appreciate mom mom. LOL and then we moved on to get to 20. I also do math facts, counting by 5, by 10s.

I start with a basic goal of what I my children to be able to do and then I break it down and figure out were I can fit it in. Like all that math in the car. For me with 4 kids I have to learn to be flexible. Like I found these great pirate things at the dollar store. So next time we visit the cousins we will be learning abou pirates.

[purplecow7]

Duplicate post - not sure why it happened.

[matermagistra]

...to fit everything in that I want to do, and I don't even work outside the home!!

But I do have a 9 month old. Isn't that almost the same? :)

I homeschooled all three of my older kids until last year. I ended up liking our elementary schools so much, I had my boys return this year. I am homeschooling my sixth grade daughter and of course still have the baby at home too.

You have to think differently when it comes to afterschooling. You are not trying to homeschool them after school. It's different. You have to assess what their school does well, and then have the grace to leave that to the school. You can reinforce it, but my take is if the school is doing so well with a certain subject, that leaves me free time to pursue with vigor the things I really want to or need to work on with my boys.

For example, I really like our school's math program. It is the perfect complement to Math-U-See, which I am using with my first grader at home in the evenings. We do math almost every night, but some nights it just doesn't happen. Like tonight, we spent most of tonight making cookies for a cook-off at my daughter's homeschool group cookout. They let the boys participate also. I had to make three different kinds of cookies tonight. But I got one-on-one time with each one and as a poster above mentioned, I still count that as learning, just as I would if we were homeschooling full time.

I am doing the Chess course from WinterPromise with my eight year old. He absolutely loves chess right now, and I have always been scared to death of it. But he loves it and I want to be able to play with him, as well as improve his game. I figure we have something special just the two of us are doing, and it is improving thinking skills for both of us.

I am planning on purchasing Core 1 from Sonlight to do with both boys, taking my time with it and savoring the read-alouds. I am doing Core 6 with their big sister, so that way they will be somewhat on the same page as us.

Also, give yourself some time to find your groove. As time goes on, you will gain a better grasp of what works and what you have time to do.

Best of luck!