To continue to homeschool or not?

[hsmom84]

Hello,

I haven't posted in a couple of years but this was the first place I thought of when I needed objective advice from other homeschoolers.

I homeschool an 8th, 6th, 5th and 4th grader using Calvert through a charter school. I am wondering at what point do you decide to put your children in school because you need to get a job so you can pay your bills. We are not talking cc bills or bills for things we don't need (tv is the only thing that falls in this category and shutting it off would not help our situation). We have basic bills, braces, etc for four growing kids. We have two cars, one is an SUV, the other one just died on us and we were really dependent on it because my husband works about 1hr away and this car got better gas mileage than the SUV. We also need two cars as our kids play soccer and many times we have to go in opposite directions at the same time. Our credit is such that we can't get a loan for another car and the house and car loan we do have are high interest.

My husband does not want to sell the house or make any changes that might help alleviate any of our financial distress. He doesn't want to put the kids in school so I can work either. I have normally been the one to say we are homeschooling no matter what but we have bills going to collection and we can't pay our all of our bills each month. As a christian where do you draw a line between what's good for your children and how to deal with your finances?

Thanks for listening, I needed to vent to people who would understand the homeschooling aspect and be objective in their advice.

Tina

[Amy in NH]

Could you get a part time job in the evenings?

[debbiec]

Can you teach at a tutorial, or start tutoring some classes at home, while you are teaching your own kids?

[Jennifer]

If you are committed to staying home and homeschooling I would recommend selling the SUV and buying a more economical car with the cash for dh to use to commute. That would mean dropping out of soccer and other activities, but that would save money, too. Yes, all 6 of you probably won't fit in a small car, but for church and stuff dh could take the two older kids, drop them off, and then come back for you and the youngers. Library trips and errands could be done on the days dh is home.

Hope everything works out for you!
Jennifer

[KristineIN]

My husband does not want to sell the house or make any changes that might help alleviate any of our financial distress. He doesn't want to put the kids in school so I can work either.

Tina


I think you need to just let your husband do what he feels best and try not to worry about it too much. I would try to trim off the grocery bill, eating out, clothing expenses. Anywhere that you can, but if he wants you to homeschool, then homeschool. I am in that same boat, we could be better off if I worked part time, but dh doesn't want me to, so I trust his decision.

Blessings,
Kristine

[Melinda in VT]

I am sorry. This must be incredibly frustrating. Is there someone you both trust who could talk some sense into your husband? (I'd probably be screaming at him by this point, but I'm sure that's not a good approach.:o Financial stress is very hard on me.)

I'm not saying, btw, that you need to quit homeschooling, but it does seem like something has to change, and if I understand your post correctly, your husband is resisting change of any kind.

[K&Rs Mom]

Have you thought about a home daycare? I have a friend who does it, and makes enough to pay private school tuition (before she started homeschooling ;) ). It can be a hassle because she has to be home at certain times for pickups/dropoffs, but it also can be flexible - she just takes the daycare kids with her to the library or whatever. Combined with possible tutoring or other home-based options, it might be enough.

[sdWTMer]

As a christian wife, I feel it is my duty to surrender to my dh's will. Which, that means we are behind on bills and such.

[StaceyinLA]

I think the first thing that needs to be done is give up the extra-curriculars and cut ANY expense you can! It may be tough on the kids for a time, but putting them all in school and working would be tougher on all of you.

The SUV probably needs to go, especially if you have any equity in it at all. There is more than one reason. One is, of course, the expense of operating it with the price of gas. Two is if your interest is high you need to rid yourself of it (Dave Ramsey calls these kinds of things stupid tax). If you can sell it and make any money, or break even, do it. Then sell the other car for whatever you can, or repair it if that's possible. Are you going to be getting an income tax refund? You could use this to repair the one car, then use any excess to purchase a used minivan (they are cheap and they will still fit your family). The point is, the car notes need to be eliminated. Hubby needs to read some Dave Ramsey if not convinced (better yet, watch him on TV or listen to him).

You CAN cut the tv stuff out, drop the grocery bill, sell anything you can (a garage sale can earn you hundreds if you just do a heavy cleaning). Cut your grocery bill as much as possible.

Dave says buy food first, pay the utilities second, then the house, then secured debt for things you have to keep (braces would count I guess, but maybe you can make some arrangements to ease this), then unsecured debt. The cc companies may call and harass you, but they'll just have to wait until you can afford to pay them.

You CAN get past this. My hubby worked 2 jobs for FIVE years for us to be debt-free (except our house) and we are actually growing a large savings (unheard of for us) in addition to writing checks yesterday worth $1100.00 to pay off dr. bills from dd's recent surgery (also unheard of for us to be able to pay them off instead of making arrangements). It CAN be done!!

[Volty]

Here's another idea. Do what we're doing (or 'will be doing' my dd is only 8.5 months old).

If you're so commited to HSing that you're willing to relocate outside the country, I live in China and easily make enough money to support my family on one income -and I don't even work that hard. I highly recommend it. I teach English to Chinese kids- it's recessionproof and jobs are so plentiful there's always a need for more. Granted, I don't make a lot of money by US standards but the cost of living is so low that we have plenty of disposable income each month and Calvert curriculum, which I've looked into, would be within budget.

It's really easy to do what we're doing. I love it, we're happy as could be. It's just the leap of faith to relocate to a new country, which isn't for everyone. I could get him a job where I work or any of a few other places. PM me if interested.

[Claire]

I have normally been the one to say we are homeschooling no matter what but we have bills going to collection and we can't pay our all of our bills each month.

This has *got* to create stress within the household. It would be one thing if you had no options. However, you do have the option of putting the children in school and working.

I grew up in a family that was always on the brink of financial disaster, and in my experience it is not good for children. If I were in your situation, I would need to do something about it in order to remain mentally healthy myself.

So, it seems I'm out of sync with the other posters. The way I would look at it is that the bills are reasonable, I am morally and legally obligated to pay my bills, school is an okay place for my children, and I can always homeschool again if circumstances improve. I would see it as modelling responsible behavior for my children.

Incidentally, my family did not have the money for braces and that profoundly affected my life in a negative way. If my mother had had the opportunity to work in order to provide me with braces and girl scout uniforms, I would have been profoundly grateful to her. I love her to pieces, and it wasn't her fault those opportunities didn't exist then.

[Eliana]

Personally, I wouldn't stop homeschooling for financial reasons. I believe very strongly that hsing is the best option for my kids, and we have made some extreme sacrifices at times to continue doing so (of course, everyone has different lines, and different priorities; I am only speaking about my own!)

Depending on your field, it might be possible for you to find a part-time or weekend position, or to work evenings and weekends when your dh is home.

I worked for several years as a grader for the chemistry department at a local college - the pay rate was lousy, but almost all work was at home, and I could squeeze it into the interstices of my life...

I tutored students (in Judaics, for the most part) for several years - including the year I was on bedrest!


Another way of looking at it: every dollar I save is a dollar I've earned for our family. When I make do without, buy from consignment stores, shop clearances, etc I am effectively increasing our income.


I wish you peace and a stress-free resolution to your challenges. I hope the different responses you've gotten here help inspire you to approach your challenges with a little more hope and a fresh perspective. So often I bang my head against a situation, convinced that there are is no good way out, that we must do horrible thing X... but when I let go of my assumptions and my fears, and come back with faith and hope and a wide open mind, there are often so many more options than I had seen before... and a few times they have led to beautiful, blessed transformations in our lives. With G-d's help, may it be so for you.

Eliana

[gardenschooler]

I agree with the babysitting advice. Keeping an infant would normally pay somewhere in the neighborhood of $100/week (much more, in some areas), and that wouldn't affect homeschooling very much at all.

Another thing *I* would do (have done) is to keep children afterschool, from 3-6. That cuts out any afterschool activities for your kids, but they'd have built-in playmates. 3-4 elementary aged kids for 3 hours a day @ about $50-75/week isn't bad money.

Good luck to you! Keep us posted.