Giving directions - is there a difference between men and women?

[RoughCollie]

When my husband gives directions, he uses north-south-east-west. For example, go east on Elm Street, then go west on Oak Street, and so forth.

I would say turn left onto Elm Street, mention landmarks, and when you come to Oak Street, turn right and keep going until ... and so forth.

When my husband gives directions to men, they get where they are going (or at least they say they are going to X place when they get there -- whether they started out going to X we'll never know). When he gives directions to women, they get lost.

No one gets lost when I give directions! :D

I told him that, at least with women, he should stick to "right and left" instead of compass directions.

He thinks I'm nuts, that everyone understands compass directions except me, that they are simpler and more concise, and I have no idea where I am on this planet. He then pointed to the compass that is part of my car, and showed me how it says "East" and that means we are going East. Well, duh, but who uses that thing? I sure don't.

Besides which, how can anyone tell, for any given street, which direction that street is going in. Some streets are straight, true, but what about the crooked ones? It seems to me that some streets change direction and for varying lengths of road, which makes the compass directions unusable from my point of view.

What say you?

RC

[Barb F. PA in AZ]

When my husband gives directions, he uses north-south-east-west. For example, go east on Elm Street, then go west on Oak Street, and so forth.

I would say turn left onto Elm Street, mention landmarks, and when you come to Oak Street, turn right and keep going until ... and so forth.

When my husband gives directions to men, they get where they are going. When he gives directions to women, they get lost.

No one gets lost when I give directions! :D

I told him that, at least with women, he should stick to "right and left" instead of compass directions.

He thinks I'm nuts, that everyone understands compass directions except me, that they are simpler and more concise, and I have no idea where I am on this planet. He then pointed to the compass that is part of my car, and showed me how it says "East" and that means we are going East. Well, duh, but who uses that thing? I sure don't.

Besides which, how can anyone tell, for any given street, which direction that street is going in. Some streets are straight, true, but what about the crooked ones? It seems to me that some streets change direction and for varying lengths of road, which makes the compass directions unusable from my point of view.

What say you?

RC

Dh uses directionals, I use landmarks. But my mom uses directionals and my dad uses landmarks. So I dunno. Seems to be a basic difference there, but I can't tell you for sure whether it's related to gender or not.

Barb

[JFS in IL]

I notice the same thing - my hubby wants to go n/s/e/w and I am all "Waah? Just tell me to turn left or right!!!!!" ;)

[elegantlion]

When my husband gives directions, he uses north-south-east-west. For example, go east on Elm Street, then go west on Oak Street, and so forth.

I would say turn left onto Elm Street, mention landmarks, and when you come to Oak Street, turn right and keep going until ... and so forth.

When my husband gives directions to men, they get where they are going (or at least they say they are going to X place when they get there -- whether they started out going to X we'll never know). When he gives directions to women, they get lost.

No one gets lost when I give directions! :D

I told him that, at least with women, he should stick to "right and left" instead of compass directions.

He thinks I'm nuts, that everyone understands compass directions except me, that they are simpler and more concise, and I have no idea where I am on this planet. He then pointed to the compass that is part of my car, and showed me how it says "East" and that means we are going East. Well, duh, but who uses that thing? I sure don't.

Besides which, how can anyone tell, for any given street, which direction that street is going in. Some streets are straight, true, but what about the crooked ones? It seems to me that some streets change direction and for varying lengths of road, which makes the compass directions unusable from my point of view.

What say you?

RC

I'm a landmark gal, the only reason I know directions is the compass in my car.

My dh also writes them backward, IMO. He'll put

Go to Elm St, turn right.

I will write

Turn right on Elm St. I need to know what direction I'm going BEFORE I get there.

It has been an endless debate in our HH. Now we just use GPS.

[MyCrazyHouse]

I employ both, depending on the route. If there are specific directional designations - e.g. 16W goes straight, 16E is a right turn, rt 4N takes a series of turns through a town, coming off an exit on which you can access both directions of a route - I will use those, as in "follow the signs to stay on 4N."

I also use landmarks, though, as in "turn right at Oak Street. There will be a large purple library on the corner," because it is easier to navigate thick traffic if you can see your turn way in advance. Or, in the case of my area, which is rural, you don't have to slow down each time you approach a cross street to see if that's your turn or blow past it because you've miscounted. I'm wacky, though, and my directions usually include lane-change directions, too. I always get the "don't excite the crazy" tone until people follow them because they think I've gone over the edge, but knowing that you want to stay in the middle lane (despite the signs to the contrary) until you get past the Pentagon when you're coming from Northern VA to downtown DC via rt 110 is valuable in crazy DC traffic. And if you follow the signs and get into the right lane before the Pentagon, the lane ends and then the delightful drivers may or may not decide to let you back over. And it's hard to miss the Pentagon as a landmark. ;)

Nobody seems to get lost when I give them directions.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

The study found that men typically use directionals and women typically navigate by landmarks. So everyone that has answered so far is typical.

I know that I have a way easier time understanding directions when they include landmarks.

[PiCO]

What say you?


I say men and women give drastically different directions. Some women will tell you every landmark between one place and the next... that really bothers me. I had one woman tell me, "at the stoplight, there will be a Conoco station on the closer right corner, a 7-11 on the far right corner, a Payless shoes on the close left corner, and an Applebee's on the far left corner. Go straight through that light..." and the directions went on, giving me tons of insignificant landmarks. Hello- I'm trying to write these directions down. Please just tell me to turn left at the McDonald's.

I much prefer "man" directions. When I give directions, I give both n-s-e-w and r-l at turns.

[shalom22]

Well looks like our household is not typical. My dh is directionally challenged, so I am the one that gives directions in our house. If someone calls for directions, he will hand the phone to me. And it depends on who I am giving directions too. If the person knows compass directions, then I will give compass directions, If the person has a left/right directional understanding then that is the kind of directions I will give.

I use to drive a delivery truck in Houston, so I know how to get you anywhere you want to go. I am the navigator on long trips and I also do most of the driving when we go anywhere.

[SheilaZ]

I'm a land mark person. DH uses compass directions and mile estimations.
He says, "Go east for 5 .5 miles, turn north on Blank Rd and drive 2.1 miles."
Me, "Go past the Dairy Queen. When you get to red light at the Citgo, turn right. Then drive past the Bi-lo, Zaxby's, and the park. look for the red mailbox."
We just don't give each otehr directions anymore.

When we were first married, I gave him directions to a place that we were meeting for lunch.
I had just driven past the place and it was in a very crowded commercial area of town. I told him to go through the second red light and turn right at the dead cat in the road.:ack2:

He still argues that a dead cat is not a manmade landmark. Well, the cat didn't die there on its own.

[Mom to Aly]

You know, I hadn't thought of it before now, but when I direct men, I tell them directions (E, W, N, S), and with women, I don't just direct with left & right, I direct by shops! LOL How's that for stereotypes?

[Kathleen in VA]

Directions (e,w,n,s) confuse me. We used to have a car that had a digital compass built in. I'd be driving on the same road for 10 miles and would find myself at one point or another going all four directions. It is much easier for me to have someone say turn left at such-and-such street, go three lights and make a right, kwim?

Maps.google.com gives left and right directions. I think of them as the authority so they must be correct (and, it doesn't really matter that they agree with me on this:D.)

[VaKim]

I use directionals. I could never use landmarks, because for the most part, I don't know they are there. We were out walking the other day, in my own neighborhood, and I noticed 3 crosses in the yard beside one of the churches. I said that was new, and I wondered when they put those up. My dd said, "Mom, those were there when I was in school." She hasn't been in school for nearly 5 years, lol.

My mom is always telling me stuff about such-and-such a house, or store, or whatever, when explaining where something is, and even though I may have passed them a million times, I still do not have a clue what she is talking about. Definitely give me directionals and route numbers!

[Kathy in MD]

It's not only a sex thing, it's also a function of where you grew up and live. Where I grew up, everyone spoke in terms of N,E,S, & W. Because not only were the cities and towns laid out on a grid, but so were the country roads. And in the country, the only "landmark" would be a stop sign or a field of corn or ?????. And you could see the sun for orientation.

Then I moved to MD. I'd try to direct people to the north end of the building, but the maintenance people told me that only people in construction understood such abstract things as north. The roads were always laid out as the cows walked -- and I think the cows were drunk. Even when putting in modern, straight roads, the engineers couldn't find N,E, S & W :) For final insult, the trees and hills hid the sun! Around here it's landmarks only .... and a new map!

[Tap, tap, tap]

I do it all! directional and landmarks. I typically say N,S,E,W in regards to the freeway, beause you loop around and it gives the person a visual on what side of the freeway they should be on afterwards. I also use if for a direction check in the middle of the directions. In our area we have a lot of streets that are both a street and and ave and sometimes a ct or hwy too. So there are three 99ths, 99th st, 99th ave, and hwy 99 all in a few miles of eachother.

Get off the freeway going to the west,
go to the lighted intersection at X street turn right, you should be going north,
go past the Costco,
go past the gas station,
turn left on Y street.

[Mrs Mungo]

don't think this is a man/woman thing but more of a left/right brained person thing. I'm a right-brained person and give left/right directions instead of east/west, I also use a lot of landmarks instead of street names.

[swellmomma]

I direct with left-right and landmarks. And to make matters worse as I give directions I turn my body to face the way I would be if driving in the car lol My dad gives me n-s-e-w directions to something and I turn around and use Mapquest, I don't know compass points in my city, I know if I look at a map I want to go straight, then turn l or r at x street etc.

[Remudamom]

I use both. I'll say take a right on Elm to head north to my house, or whatever.

[Plaid Dad]

I think in terms of compass directions but after much experience have learned to give directions in terms of right, left, and major landmarks. Of course, my landmarks are all churches, with the occasional Dunkin Donuts thrown in for variety. Then again, my dw's grandmother gives directions that include businesses that haven't been there for 30 years! ;)

[Jugglin'5]

I use directionals. I could never use landmarks, because for the most part, I don't know they are there. We were out walking the other day, in my own neighborhood, and I noticed 3 crosses in the yard beside one of the churches. I said that was new, and I wondered when they put those up. My dd said, "Mom, those were there when I was in school." She hasn't been in school for nearly 5 years, lol.

My mom is always telling me stuff about such-and-such a house, or store, or whatever, when explaining where something is, and even though I may have passed them a million times, I still do not have a clue what she is talking about. Definitely give me directionals and route numbers!

This is me! My Dad is all about landmarks so I can't take directions from him. Give me a street name please! I don't care if it is directional or left/right, but I need a street name. I just don't visually take in my surroundings.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I do both as well. I use the directionals because I see the world in my head as a "bird's eye view" but others need left-right. The other reason is that I often say the wrong thing for left and right - "Oh, I mean the "other" right";) I add landmarks as well.

[PrairieAir]

I never used compass directions until I moved to the Wichita area about 17 years ago. Most people here use them, and I learned them very quickly. I give both compass and right or left along with plenty of landmarks. People laugh at how thorough my directions are, but no one ever gets lost. I'm used to dealing with a directionally challenged mom and brother. I, on the other hand, am rarely ever lost and when I am, I can find my way out.

[Danestress]

I will use both N/S/E/W and Left/Right depending on the situation. I have a lot better sense of the layout of this city that DH does, so I have more understanding of direction (here) then he does. But within a neighborhood when you are making a lot of turns on suburban streets, I definitely stick to "turn right" and "turn left."

I find landmarks a distracting way to convey directions. If you give good directions, you don't need them. If you give vague directions, the landmarks really don't help that much and can actually be distracting. I don't like trying to find the Shell Station. Just tell me "two miles, then turn right on Elm Street" and I can do that!

[fivetails]

It depends on where you live too - here, if you ask someone how to get somewhere, you'll get directions filled with things like "Go on outta town past the old Met mall, then go on out the highway a bit 'till you pass the llamas and then turn down the road by the Arsenault's farm. Ain't far from there."

Problem? The "Met mall" was demolished years ago and that land now has a strip mall thing on it, "the highway" isn't actually a highway, the llamas aren't always out in their field, and the Desroches' bough the Arsenault's farm a long time ago. Not that it matters because it isn't signed and the only thing it grows is junked cars.

And we wonder why the tourists get lost. :tongue_smilie:

[Christine]

When my husband gives directions, he uses north-south-east-west. For example, go east on Elm Street, then go west on Oak Street, and so forth.

I would say turn left onto Elm Street, mention landmarks, and when you come to Oak Street, turn right and keep going until ... and so forth.

He thinks I'm nuts, that everyone understands compass directions except me

What say you?

RC

Well. . .

I would say there is a difference in the way men and women give directions.

I would also say it's regional. Like the whole "cardinal" direction thing. . . DH grew up doing that and it drives him insane that others don't (including his wife. . . my *entire* family and most of the States that we've been to).

But! (it's a big one) DH is horrible at cardinal directions in places he's not terribly familiar with. (Like he always forgets that our front door of our current home faces north.) Heaven help you if he were to give you cardinal directions here!

[dragons in the flower bed]

I think it's a geographical thing. People who learned to drive in places with landmarks that loom, like mountains, tend to give directions using N-S-etc. Folks who did not, tend to give left/right.

[beansprouts]

My dh is a landmark guy and he never remembers a street name. I usually know street names, landmarks, approximate distance in miles and both north/south and right/left directionals. I am much better at giving directions than he is.

[Barb F. PA in AZ]

I think it's a geographical thing. People who learned to drive in places with landmarks that loom, like mountains, tend to give directions using N-S-etc. Folks who did not, tend to give left/right.

Good point. I grew up in South Florida and back then, everything out of state was 'up north'. I also oriented myself 'east toward the beach.' In the past 11 years, we've lived in 5 different states (including SE PA where all the roads wind and meet one another) and I've completely given up trying to orient myself with cardinal directions.

Barb