So about pregnancy - Do you find out the sex of the baby or wait for the surprise?

[Adrianne]

I have done it both ways and I am not sure this time around.

What is your experience?

Adrianne

[Blue Hen]

I liked the surprise of not knowing. Made me want to push extra hard to find out if the baby was a boy or gir.

[Quiver0f10]

I have never found out. I like surpises :D

[Karen sn]

I waited the first time and will wait again.
After all that work - it's a nice surprise to then take a peek and know.
In fact - I told everyone at my birth to not say a word about the sex of the baby when they saw because I wanted to see it myself.

[6packofun]

We have always found out. I like it that way because we put a lot of thought into our children's names, pray over them, etc. and knowing if our baby is a boy or girl helps us feel like we "know" him or her already...and birth is when we finally get to meet!

Plus, it's been very helpful for those of us who like to plan. LOL ;)

[PariSarah]

We found out both times. No question about it.

[beansprouts]

We wanted to know with dd, and it was probably a good thing. We were very surprised when the u/s tech told us she was a girl because girls in dh's family are rare.

We knew intuitively that ds1 would be a boy, but decided to be "surprised" anyways.

I didn't have an u/s at all with ds2. We thought God just might give us another little girl since he made the miracle happen once already. So we didn't "know" nor did we have the "sneak preview" we found out when he was born that he was a boy.

[AmyinPA]

and I prefer finding out. It just starts the bonding experience earlier. I knew for my first three babies. We didn't find out for numbers 4 and 5. I remember holding my #4baby at the hospital and feeling like I was holding a stranger. It just took a few more days to get to know her, (especially since I was convinced she was a girl).

So, this time around, I know it's a girl. I'm glad I found out because I was once again convinced of a boy!

[Melinda in VT]

I pretty much insisted we find out with our first pregnancy. I didn't want to buy everything in green and yellow, and I am a naturally impatient person.

The idea was that we would do it DH's way and be surprised with the next pregnancy.

Except that turned out to be a twin pregnancy. Since fraternal twins have fewer complications in pregnancy and the only sure-fire way to know you have fraternal twins is to have one boy and one girl, the doctors checked for the sex of the babies. And since they knew the twins were fraternal, that pretty much gave it away. ;)

With the last pregnancy, we were once again going to be surprised. But then we received a fatal diagnosis and needed to do a chromosome check to confirm. We agreed that we weren't going to find out the sex, but when they called with the results, DH was so relieved that the baby was healthy, he asked about the sex. And I'm glad he did, because I was worried about bonding during this pregnancy and I think knowing the sex helped.

[BamaTanya]

When expecting #4, we had one dd and 2 dss. Dd was very excited about having a new baby, and we caught her drawing pictures of her family -- with her new baby SISTER. We explained that the baby could be a boy, but she insisted that she HAD two brothers and needed a sister. That time we "found out" because I wanted to prepare her.

It was another boy!

When expecting #5, dd went with dh and me to the u/s appt. It was very exciting to see her watch her baby SISTER on the screen. When I went in for the dr's exam, dh and dd were picking out her baby sister's name (among the handful dh and I had discussed). It was a thrilling day.

OTOH, *I* like surprises. I'm not sure I would choose to find out if we had it to do over again. Those first 3 announcements after the birth work were exhilarating. I'm sure dd would have adjusted to #4's boyness on his birthday!

[momofkhm]

I had invited my mom down for the u/s because they weren't around when she was pg with me. When it came time, the doc asked (yes doc, not tech) if we wanted to know. I said no. My mom said she wanted to know. The doc said if mom doesn't want to know, then no one gets to know. Yeah!

Then with the other 2, I was with docs that do an u's to date the pg and then again only if they are medically necessary. They weren't necessary. :(

[Chris in VA]

It's such a personal choice, but we never knew. Dh said it was like opening your Christmas present early--which I occasionally do! lol
I don't think it interferred with our bonding experience, because I saw the baby inside as "the baby," without the added expectations and baggage (like it or not) that can come with being a girl or a boy. It was almost a more "pure" experience of bonding. And I don't mean to slam anyone who feels differently--this is just me, and my own baggage. (Want to make that crystal clear) Also, we picked names for both boy and girl, but strangely, we had more certainty and agreement on the names that turned out to fit the sex of the babies we had--good thing, too, as I really wasn't gung ho on the names we ended up not using. Not sure if anyone else "nicknames" their babies in utero, but we did, with the youngest, because the boys were so much older and wanted to referr to the baby as more than "the baby."

A little funny--so many people nowadays find out, that our midwives kinda forgot we hadn't--at dd7's birth, I had to ask if it was a boy or a girl! lol

[Canada_Mom]

We're having #4 in less than 2 weeks and we decided to find out for this pregnancy. I have 2dd and 1ds and was REALLY hoping to even out the playing field around here! I didn't want to wait 9mos to find out it was another dd. Not that I would have been disappointed.

Hopefully we'll have more, and I won't find out again. I LOVE the surprise at the end and I think it's fun to guess throughout the pregnancy. It seems so final now, knowing that a little ds is coming out. No hope for pink! :p

I love pink... :rolleyes: next time...

[Amy in Orlando]

We never found out ahead of time. I like surprises.

[nancypants]

We have always found out ahead of time. It's still a surprise... just one that you find out earlier! LOL And I still had plenty of motivation during labor... never needed that particular "push" to push! :D In my case, I have all boys... I wanted to know ahead of time especially with the third and fourth so that I would be emotionally prepared.

[slug hollow]

We have held out for the surprise each time. I must say it's been harder to wait this time. We have one of each & this will be our last. Also, my sil is expecting 1.5 weeks before me & we had our u/s on the same day.

[Lorna in the boonies]

I always found out whenever possible -- it didn't ruin the surprise for me at all. I still had no idea who this little person was or what they were going to look like.

My son didn't cooperate, so I didn't know with him -- and I hated it!

Sooooo much better knowing ahead of time, at least in my book!

[tess in the burbs]

we didn't find out for either child and the grandparents about killed us the second time around!!!

but we loved the surprise...we mentally thought #2 would be another boy....so when they said GIRL we were in shock. And it took almost a year before dh would let her wear pink :p

[Sue G in PA]

Found out w/ #1 and #2 (girl, boy). We didn't w/ #3 and everyone thought it was a girl...I knew it was another boy. Found out w/ #4 (another boy and I cried for weeks!) and inadvertantly found out w/ #5. I was in a car accident, doc. did an u/s in the hospital and right away, w/out asking us, looks at the screen and says, "Whoa, THERE'S a p%nis!". I was devastated. So, when we conceived #6, I didn't want to know. I figured, if it was another boy, I wouldn't care when I saw him...why go through the emotional disappointment. I prayed for a girl and at the birth, even called her a girl before seeing her. She, indeed, was a girl. Now, w/ #7 we did find out and I'm not happy we did. When the u/s tech said it was a boy, I cried right then and there and still haven't warmed up to the idea of another boy (4 is enough for me). So, now, I'm NOT excited about the birth, NOT excited about buying clothes or accessories, etc. and we have nothing b/c last baby was a girl. I'm just still very upset about the sex as horrible and selfish as that sounds.

[Karen sn]

TO SUE G. IN Pa


I have a dd and want a ds with this one. I totally get what you are saying. Why be disappointed in pregnancy? Once the kid is born - you're excited and can take the wrong sex!

[SnowWhite]

I can definitely handle a surprise better while pregnant than postpartum. When I have postpartum hormones to deal with, a newborn gobbling my chest, and poopy diapers to deal with, that's no time for a surprise, especially one that might not be what I was wanting or expecting.

I cried when I found out ds2 was a boy, not because I didn't want a boy but because I was so convinced he was a girl. So much for my intuition.

[Kristafish]

But I had my ultrasound early on and I haven't needed another one since.
Since my kids are older, I wish I would have found out so I could be more prepared.
But I also like the surprise of it all :) I never found out with my other 2, so it doesn't bother me..
My mom always does a needle test(old wives tale) and it was right with the other 2, first was boy, second was girl.. This one says girl, so we will see..
I always say I'm having a girl, but I guess we won't know until April(or hopefully before) :D

[kdeno]

nt

[Jackie in AR]

We have always found out ahead of time. It's still a surprise... just one that you find out earlier! LOL

Hey, I've never thought of it that way. You're right!

We had twins the first time around so I wanted to find out.

Then we went ahead and found out with the next two as well.

I just like to know ASAP. :D

[jmgconner]

I like to know before the birth, especially this time around because we had room logistics to figure out. Would the two DS's stay in the same room, or do we move DD into the larger room so she can share?

[Tia in Wa]

We found out with ds. They could not tell with dd but I carried her so differently that we were pretty sure. I know its an old wives thing but it worked for me:D. I admire those with the patience to wait.

[Valerie in Chicago]

We figured that we'd do it the old-fashioned way. Besides, one you know, you know for the rest of your life! So we opted to enjoy the anticipation.

[profmom]

For the first two, I wanted to know so I could decorate the baby's room accordingly. With my 3rd, I thought I would let it be a surprise (since I had both boy and girl bedding), but then I had to know which room to put the baby bed into! Also, my dd's room was bigger, and so, if #3 had been a boy, I would have had the older two trade rooms (which would have meant repainting)....

So, I guess I'm too much of a planner to let it be a surprise!

[Amy in NH]

I also agree with Blue Hen. We didn't find out for any of ours.

[Diana in OR]

Am I the only one here old enough (41!) to have had babies before routine u/s?:eek:

When I was pg with my now 14.5yos, I had two u/s due to early complications, but it was too early to tell, and I didn't "need" and u/s in my 5th month.

With my 12yos, it was the same. I didn't have any problems, so I didn't have an u/s.

That wasn't so long ago, was it?:o

[Lorna in the boonies]

Hmmm. Maybe it just depends on where you live?

My daughter will be 15 next week and I had 3 u/s with her -- one routine one at about 23 weeks (but I did have to ask for it) and two later on when problems arose.

The rest of my pregnancies were all extremely high risk, with three of my babies dying either before (2) or shortly after (1) birth, so I was always closely monitored and had lots of u/s. That was part of the reason I always found out the gender -- I needed *something* positive to focus on!

(Editing because I just realized what a downer this post may appear to be, yet I wanted to explain the reason for lots of ultrasounds with older children. My babies were born in '93, '94, '95, '96, '99, and '01, and the number of u/s remained about the same for each of them -- meaning, one standard one until problems were suspected, and then a lot -- with the exception of my son ('96), who was the most problem-free of my pregnancies. I wanted to address the post just before mine, which was concerning u/s for those of us with older children, but didn't realize it may be inappropriate in this particular thread. My apologies.)

[SandraDumas]

baby clothes are so expensive nowadays. It's nice to have people buy more clothes that work b.c they know what to expect. It's also more personal when you can pray for your baby by name (and you can only name the baby in the womb if you know the sex!), and people like to know, they're always asking.

I think a surprise is nice but for practical reasons it's better to know.

[King Alfred Academy]

I hear ya! That was my reason as well!

[momee]

Just got back from the ultrasound today. I did NOT want to find out but everyone else in my family (the 4 of them) wanted to know.
It didn't hurt the surprise one bit. I was totally surprised = cried and thanked God.
It's a healthy baby and now it's time to SHOP :)

[lynn]

b

[lynn]

They even taped it for me.

[Robyn]

I found out the first time and didn't the second. Dh and I both loved the surprise. It drove everyone else mad though.:rolleyes: I probably won't be having any ultrasounds with the next baby, and if it is necessary, I won't want to know the sex. This thread is making me miss being pregnant.:p

[JennifersLost]

but I found out the sex with the first and fourth. I guess either way it's still a surprise, eh?

[Canada_Mom]

Robyn: This thread is making me miss being pregnant.

I get that way in between pregnancies! Too much talk about babies, and expecting and I miss being pregnant too. It's such a special time! I LOVE it!

Now the postpartum part... I can do w/o that. :rolleyes:

One thing I do have to add about knowing what we are having, is that now that I've satisfied everybody else's curiosity about the gender, they aren't satisfied with that and want me to tell them the name we've chosen. THAT I just won't share until baby comes...

[3lilreds in NC]

I cannot stand the waiting, LOL! I just needed to know who was in there. And it's a darn good thing we found out this last time, because I was assuming another girl. "Are you sure it's a boy? Do you see that I have girls? I have an attic full of pink clothes. I can't have a boy. We don't do boys." LOL! the poor child would have been welcomed into a world of pink and someone would have had to make an emergency shopping trip so he wouldn't have to come home in something girlie.

I hate it when people I know don't find out. I NEED to know. If they would just have their doctors call me so *I* could know, I wouldn't tell, but I could start planning the gifts.:D