Argh!! More mischief!!

[Cathy in IL]

I am starting to wonder if this is just an over-active toddler or if we may be looking at an attachment disorder or something. the little guy whose antics I described in my post about vaseline in the hair strikes again! I heard him singing and talking in his crib. It is not unusual for him to do that for awhile as he falls asleep, but tonight it was lasting too long. I went to check on him and found him stark naked swinging around a poopy diaper and smearing it on himself, the mattress, the new crib tent that keeps him from leaping out and roaming the house at night, and the Diego pillow. He looks at me and simply says, "Caa caa. Caa caa."

He just never stops finding trouble. He doesn't play with toys in a typical way. He just throws and breaks things. The only toy he plays with is a toy motorcycle that has a button to push and make motor sounds. he pushes the button over and over. I don't know if he just doesn't know how to play with toys because of lack of exposure, or if he is too active or what.

He is 18 months old. He has been here for almost a month. He has lived with at least two other caregivers before coming here. He hasn't had much stability. He won't even be here long because he goes home to his parents in just a couple weeks. I want to do the best I can for him in those few weeks, but I feel like all I am doing is trying to manage one mini-disaster after the other.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have to smile while I say, poor Cathy! I know it is not fun to have to clean up and deal with all these messes. He sounds like a very active guy - a very hands-on guy too! Sounds like duct tape on the diapers is a good idea. And lots of closed doors so he is really limited to what he could possibly get into.

[Ferdie]

Hi Cathy,

That is an interesting obervation about the toys. Our ds came to us at 13 months with attachment disorder and he was the same way about toys. I noticed it right away but really couldn't put my finger on what was wrong with how he interacted with them. I also noticed that he didn't like being held (would go stiff as a board), wouldn't go to person for comfort when he got hurt (he would sit and scream), didn't motion or whine when he needed something (just screamed), didn't really interact with other children and didn't problem solve.

Someone suggested the book Holding Time by Martha Welch. I got it from our library and it was a life saver. We used the holding technique in the book (not fun) but after several months he went through the attachement process. He is 8 now and doing great.

God bless you for caring for him. What a wonderful thing you are doing.

P.S. You can use duct tape on the diapers. I did.

[Unicorn]

Oh goody, it's time for poopy stories. When my twins were 2, I walked my df out to his truck, told my 4yo to stay inside with his sisters. He didn't, and I came back to a locked door, and 2 little dd's naked and painting the walls w/ their poop! I think it just a toddler thing. I'm sorry he is causing you such grief. You are doing such a wonderful thing taking care of these little people. I wish I had some real words of wisdom for you. All I can offer is some sympathy, virtual chocolate, and (((((Cathy))))).

[Kathy in MD]

He suffered from Sensory Integration disorder and lacked fine motor and gross motor control. He also couldn't judge his strength and space.

A book to read on the subject is The Out-of-Sync Child by Kranowitz. Here's a web site that will give you a fast check list: http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/behavior-checklists-and-charts/51756.html

I knew that my ds didn't have attachment disorder like another poster's dc because my ds loved to be held and had eye contact.

[Cathy in IL]

I do think that SI could be an issue for this little guy. My dd (6) has sensory integration disorder. I have read the Out of Sync Child. Thanks for the reminder. He is very sensory seeking. He stuffs his mouth with food and will chew on almost anything. He turns the music and TV volume high. He is clumsy and injures himself frequently. Yet when he gets hurt or does something that should hurt, he doesn't seem bothered by it. I don't know if he just doesn't feel it much or doesn't know he can get comforted.

I also wouldn't be surprised if he has attachment issues. Even when we carry him around he leans back in an odd way and is difficult to carry. He isn't like other children who just seem to fit in your arms. His eye contact can be okay when he is having fun, but when I have to correct him he will turn his head or close his eyes to avoid making contact.

He will be doing child and parent therapy with his parents. After I told the caseworker what I was seeing they said that was enough info to qualify them for the parenting program. Apparently it supports what the parents had been saying when they claimed he had not been abused or had inadequate supervision but was simply an overactive, accident prone child. I hope that witnessing this behavior and confirming the parents statements helps them get their children back home sooner. I had no idea that was the reason they had been removed in the first place.

[Kathy in MD]

I do think that SI could be an issue for this little guy. My dd (6) has sensory integration disorder. I have read the Out of Sync Child. Thanks for the reminder. He is very sensory seeking. He stuffs his mouth with food and will chew on almost anything. He turns the music and TV volume high. He is clumsy and injures himself frequently. Yet when he gets hurt or does something that should hurt, he doesn't seem bothered by it. I don't know if he just doesn't feel it much or doesn't know he can get comforted.

I also wouldn't be surprised if he has attachment issues. Even when we carry him around he leans back in an odd way and is difficult to carry. He isn't like other children who just seem to fit in your arms. His eye contact can be okay when he is having fun, but when I have to correct him he will turn his head or close his eyes to avoid making contact.

He will be doing child and parent therapy with his parents. After I told the caseworker what I was seeing they said that was enough info to qualify them for the parenting program. Apparently it supports what the parents had been saying when they claimed he had not been abused or had inadequate supervision but was simply an overactive, accident prone child. I hope that witnessing this behavior and confirming the parents statements helps them get their children back home sooner. I had no idea that was the reason they had been removed in the first place.

parents are assumed to be abusive when actually they have an overactive or clumsy child. I'm glad you're able to help clear their parenting reputation. Hopefully some good will come out of this. It'll be a bummer if the family went through this and nothing positive (other than meeting you :) ) came out of it.