Do you make your child take music lessons?

[mo2]

If they don't want to? I'd like to find some piano lessons or something for dd6, but she is terribly shy and I don't think that she really wants to.

[Adrianne]

We do but not until about 3rd or 4th grade or until they can sit through lessons. I start them on Teaching Little Fingers to Play. They are required to take about 2 to 3 years of piano.

My ds5 is not ready now and my ds9 was not ready until about 8. I would try your daughter but if she does not do well with it I would stop and try again in a year.

[3blessingmom]

Is it more an issue of being uncomfortable with a new person? If so, I would gently nudge her along, making sure her teacher has a gift for children.

Would a teacher let her observe another child's lesson? That might help her be less shy, and more motivated to play.

[sagira]

You can maybe wait a year and give her more social opportunities to prepare her for the following year. I think everyone should have at least some music lessons, exposure to lesson in music is very good for the mind, heart and soul if you have the right approach.

Personally, I'm so glad my mom insisted on me taking piano lessons. I'm a better person for it :)

[Valerie in MI]

Yes, it's manditory, but not at age six. We did Kindermusik at that age. One reluctant child started piano at 8 and the other is starting at 11.

[Sue in St Pete]

Yes, it's manditory, but not at age six. We did Kindermusik at that age. One reluctant child started piano at 8 and the other is starting at 11.

We also did Kindermusik with a wonderful teacher at 6.5. It was a fun, easy introduction. Piano at 8.5.

Ds always complained about piano. I always gave him the choice of whatever he would like to do in the fine arts area - drama, music, art. He stuck with piano for 3.5 years and has now switched to guitar.

[WTMindy]

Yup! Piano is non-negociable here.

[MyCrazyHouse]

Mine started at 6 and, while she is not terribly shy, she developed some sort of performance anxiety before her first lesson. Fortunately, we have a very easy-going piano teacher, who is silly and fun. Once Bailey actually understood that none of us expected her to already know how to play, she loosened up and was fine.

I would look for a teacher who really just wants the kids to learn the joy of playing, rather than one who is highly accomplished in their own right. Not that our teacher isn't an entirely competent pianist... we drive 20 miles each way to go to her, rather than walk the two blocks to the scary, compulsive concert pianist who also teaches, though.

[EKS]

Yes. Though my 12 yo started at 10 and my 6 yo started at 5 because he wanted to.

[momto4girls]

Not until age 7 or 8. It's tough to sit and then even tougher to practice... I would just wait a year and re-evaluate. Lessons are expensive and it can be frustrating if you're having to "force" it. IMHO, I would wait a year and then re-evaluate.

[sarahv]

I had a VERY shy student about 10 years ago, who would not even talk to me (her violin teacher). She did everything I asked her, but would whisper to her mother, if she wanted to say anything to me. I thought I would NEVER get her up in front of people for the recital, but she did great!

With any student, but especially a shy one, it's soooo important to *inspire* them in their instrument. If you are ok with www.youtube.com (http://www.youtube.com), search for children playing the piano. It is so fun for kids to see other kids performing. Be sure to include professional performers, too, so she can experience mature playing. Then, make sure the teacher you get for her is really connected with little children. (One negative teacher can ruin a kid's experience entirely. The right teacher will captivate her and motivate her to play) Get all kinds of piano music CD's for her, talk about how beautiful the music is, and how it sounds like stuff, water, animals, etc. Take her to a live concert. All these things are inspiring. Lots of times it works, sometimes it doesn't. But it is always a good experience to share. :001_smile:

[Starr]

I found, during the time I was a school nurse, that shy children often became less shy and quite confident around 3rd - 4th grade. Our piano teachers have always let parents sit in on classes. Look around and find something comforable or wait another year or two.

[sarahv]

oh, and my four and three year old do "violin lessons" every day. My goal is to have my boys proficient at one instrument by the end of 8th grade, so if he wants to put his energies elsewhere, he can. My girl, I haven't decided yet. But then, she's only one. :tongue_smilie: So yes, music lessons are mandatory in my house. Here is an interesting collection of facts: http://www.amc-music.com/research_briefs.htm

[CLHCO]

Yep, mandatory. I don't have a set age for formal lessons though. All of my kids did Kindermusik except my youngest. (I taught it.) She has been surrounded by music though and I don't think she's missing out.

Music just happens at our house. We have had times of no formal lessons due to lack of money, but even then there are things we did at home.

If your daughter is very shy, do some fun things at home for a bit longer to warm her up to music more. Look for a teacher she may be able to connect with and consider trying to find someone who will give lessons in your home if you pay a touch more, at least just to start. Perhaps this would help her comfort level.

[Beth in SW WA]

If they don't want to?

Yes, my kids must pick an instrument and take formal lessons. Its like learning a foreign language -- great for brain development -- and best to start as young as possible.

Not quite sure my plan w/ my youngest, as she doesn't have fingers on her right hand. We'll get creative -- and maybe she'll be a singer :)

[swellmomma]

I do not "make" them take them but I do highly encourage it. This past year we found a fine arts school for low income families so my kids get private lessons for free. DD does violin, oldest DS does guitar, younger DS want's to learn drums this coming year. I do not force practice either, but again encourage it. All my kids want to learn an instrument so I simply let them chose the one they feel resonates with them. I have plans to buy a keyboard and teach myself piano this year too, so the 4 of us will all be learning. Baby seems already musically inclined too, already starting to mimic the tunes she hears when we listen to music and she is only 10.5 months so I am sure she will learn an instrument too. The children also take art classes, and have the option of dance and drama as well, as I want them to experience the range of fine arts options.

I would say never force lessons at any age, at age 6 it is simple to incorporate music without formal lessons, I picked up a few percussion instruments over the years like rhythm sticks, tone blocks, triangles, maracas, tom toms etc. We would tap out tunes togther, so I would tap one out and the kids would copy me, or use them in time with a poem we are reading or a song we are singing. ANything to get them used to teh idea that instruments are fun not scary and also introduce basic rhythm and time in a non-scary way.

[fivetails]

I'm surprised that there are so many who have music lessons as mandatory in their homes...:001_huh:

What do you do if your child just isn't musical at all? That was me as a kid (and as an adult) - can't carry a tune in a bucket, no sense of rhythm (I can't find the beat to a song 99% of the time - you may guess that I don't dance either LOL)....music lessons would have been a waste of my parents' time and money. I'd have been miserable, trying to do something I just had (have) no natural talent for at. all.

On the other hand, I have a musical kid, dd11 - she can copy any tune she hears perfectly (my ears work, my voice just sucks LOL), play songs on my friend's piano out of her head (stuff from radio, church, tv, whatever) - it's eerie watching her... she sorta hums under her breath and just...finds the right music. Next thing you know, she goes "here it is" and plays the darn song. She's never been in music lessons, it's just natural. I'm going to try to get her in piano next year though, now that we might be able to afford it. But she *wants* to do that now -- if she was adamantly opposed, I would never force it.

[Rhonda in TX]

DS started playing viola in 3rd grade. DD started playing cello in 2nd. It is non-negotiable at this point in their lives.

[LanaTron]

...not at age 6.

I do require older kids to spend a year or two learning an instrument. Once I see that they have given it a good try, they can quit or switch instruments if they want to.

My ds12 and dd11 are playing french horn and clarinet, respectively.

I treat Latin the same way. It is required from 4th through 8th grade, then they can drop it if they really want to.