The Outcome of Swim Team Debacle

[Robin Hood]

For those of you interested in how our Swim Team board handled us leaving over Mean Girl Conflict, the board members met and we are less than thrilled over the outcome.

We were not opposed to our dds staying on and working with the team and that includes continued conflicts with Mean Girl, but we were concerned about the next move of Mean Girl & mom toward me. Having been recent business owners with employees, dh understands and was concerned about harrassment charges toward me should I happen alone upon Mean Girl, so he formally resigned the girls from the team. One gets a feeling from this girl that it could happen. We are not alone in that feeling.

There was a closed meeting to discuss the matter and they feel we were innocent "victims" of a vicious young girl. They have invited us back and will post people in the locker room and make sure that I never have to be in there and that there will be someone around me at all times so that I won't be accused of anything. Proceedures for next year are shaping up to require parents to attend all practices and meets. A letter is on the way to invite dh to be on the board next year. We were not informed of any actions toward Mean Girl and she is still on the team.

As far as the all parents requirements, this is because MG's mom never shows up for anything. They think if she had been there, all of MG's actions would not have happened. I don't agree.

We don't feel that we are "victims". We made a decision and took action in our families best interest. We have never been victims of anything. Stuff happens and we deal with it. Dh thinks they are still skirting the issue while trying to protect themselves from a harrassment case and told the Pres that we stand by our original decision.

I feel like I am a big girl and don't need protection. I think the board should act like big girls, too, instead of scaredy cats.

We'll see what happens next year, but we are done with this year. The board could use a good man and dh is considering the position.

[Patty Joanna]

Thanks for the update. When I read this, I feel like this is all reaping the whirlwind of litigiousness as opposed to responsibility. I wish you were my neighbor.

Kind regards,

[betty]

does the board plan to develop a discipline plan or behavioral standards. Our team didn't have one until we had just the right kind of child with a set of parents to match that pushed us to have clear procedures set out.

[WTMCassandra]

I think you were wise to stick by your decision. My experience is those kinds of people hone in on ways to make accidents happen to catch you alone to do their dirty work. I agree that MG would probably find a way to circumvent the supposed monitoring. I also agree that the presence of MG's mother would not make a big difference in this case. Thanks for the update!

[Brindee]

I agree with you too. Stay out a year and see what transpires! Thanks for the update! How are the girls doing with all this? Are you finding them somewhere else, or taking a break for a year or what?

[Robin Hood]

Thanks for the update. When I read this, I feel like this is all reaping the whirlwind of litigiousness as opposed to responsibility. I wish you were my neighbor.

Kind regards,

3/4 of the board are ps school employees....it makes me wonder what goes on at meetings there. Thanks for the compliment.

does the board plan to develop a discipline plan or behavioral standards. Our team didn't have one until we had just the right kind of child with a set of parents to match that pushed us to have clear procedures set out.

I agree.... that this might be a first time and they are unprepared to make a hard decision.

I think you were wise to stick by your decision. My experience is those kinds of people hone in on ways to make accidents happen to catch you alone to do their dirty work. I agree that MG would probably find a way to circumvent the supposed monitoring. I also agree that the presence of MG's mother would not make a big difference in this case. Thanks for the update!

I am learning how naive I am. I did not expect this from an 11yo. I imagine she has had to learn survival herself...without guidance.

I agree with you too. Stay out a year and see what transpires! Thanks for the update! How are the girls doing with all this? Are you finding them somewhere else, or taking a break for a year or what?

Both girls are missing swim and the routine of practice and the competition, but we've been swimming a few times in the local spots; Bianca is teaching me to swim now and she is a good teacher. Dh has taken them fly fishing and Bianca caught a 2lb trout all by herself. They pack in with food, then fish for hours until dark. We took a trip to my folks for a few days and saw Kit Kitridge and painted ceramics at Color Me Mine....and more. We wouldn't be doing this stuff if we were swimming. Kate got to meet her bio grandma, along with aunts and cousins. She found out what nationalities are in her and for some reason that has given her some peace of mind. She loves that she not only looks like me, though adopted, but now she even has the same nationalities that I do. I'd say the exchange has been a good one.

Hey, have you heard from your son?