Cross-post: Transitioning from work to home

[Hannah]

I had no response to this mail on the general board, so maybe some afterschoolers can identify.

How do you manage the transition between a fast-paced, outcomes driven work environment and getting "into the moment" with your children when you get home?

I work in a hectic logistics department until 12h30 every morning. In the afternoons, I have difficulty slowing down and getting into the gentle pace I ideally want to have at home.

One of the benefits of living in Africa is that we have a cleaner and a gardener a few times a week, so it’s not that there is a huge list of chores waiting. I teach half of my 8yo dd’s lessons (the rest is done by the childminder/tutor she is with in the mornings) and I have to will myself to sit with her patiently and not rush her along. The same is true when I start a craft with the girls. I’ll get them going and help for a few minutes, but then find something else to do. Usually it’s not something very important, but I still feel compelled to “complete” whatever it is I think needs doing. The girls like games and being read to. I guess because I have to be involved for the duration of the activity!

So, what do you do to make the mindshift?

[Breann in WA]

Have you tried a ritual "time out" when you get home? Something you really enjoy, just for you, like reading a book, watching a favorite TV show, etc, for half an hour or longer if you need it? Even stop by a coffee shop for some peace if you have to, but take the time to not do anything. I imagine this might be hard at first and you may always be watching the clock, feeling like you're wasting your time, but try to force yourself to slow down and force your mind into a more leisurely state.

My dh is similar in that he NEEDS his decompresion time as soon as he gets home, after he eats dinner, and at the end of the day. He's seriously thrown off and out of his game if he doesn't get it.

Good luck!

[Melinda in VT]

This is a great question. I wish I had a great answer.:D

For me, I think this is more about personality and less about transitioning between work and home. (Although, I telecommute and own an inn, so work and home are the same.)

If my kids are doing worksheets and such, I usually busy myself with something in the same room so I am available to help if they need it but don't have to sit and twiddle my thumbs while they are working. I do housework or read something light (and therefore easy to return to when I'm interrupted).

We don't do crafts together. I know my limits. :lol:

Since games and reading aloud force me to focus completely on them, I tend to spend a high percentage of my time with my kids in these activities. Play to your strengths.