Do your children try to overhear your conversations...

[3lilreds in NC]

and then ask "What did you say?"

I know they don't want to be left out of anything. I get it. I really do. However - anytime I'm talking to one of them and not the other, or talking to dh, and they are within earshot but either don't pay close attention or can't quite hear, they constantly ask, "What did you say? What? What did she do? What happened?"

It's crazy-making. And it's rude, right? It's not just me being crabby?

It's not as if I have conversations within their hearing that they can't hear. It's just so irritating to have them come and butt in. I tried explaining this to dd7 tonight - dd8 was asking what my friend got when we went shopping today, and I told her, and dd7 must have heard me talking because of course she comes down the hall to ask, "What?" She interrupted me, too. I explained to her that I was not talking to her, and it was rude of her to interrupt, and she went weeping to her room. (Note: I did not yell. I explained all this calmly. Her response was unwarranted, IMO, but she's 7 and tired.)

How do you handle this? Or are my children the only ones who feel they must hear every word spoken to any member of the family?

[Ashleen]

Yes, it's rude to eavesdrop. And yes, children do it anyway. My older son not only listens in, but hears everything wrong since it's just out of earshot. So I'll be having a conversation with dh and older son will start freaking out because he's convinced we said something we didn't say. Like if someone we know got fired, he'll hear that they caught on fire and burned over 90% of their body and OMG are they still alive?!!!! Everybody panic! It drives us nuts. I don't know what to do about it. I remember eavesdropping on as many of my parents' conversations as I could, but I was at least more discreet about it.

[Jen3boys]

My dss8 do the same thing. I don't have any good advice. Sometimes I have to specifically tell them that I am having an adult conversation with someone now, please go play in another room. When I'm direct like that they 'get it' w/o any problems. But they do tend to listen to everything I'm talking about....of course maybe not when it comes to "Time to brush your teeth".

[pianoplayer]

Our kids do this, too, and sometimes it almost drives me nuts. We are trying to be consistent about reminding them that they should not try to barge into someone else's conversation. We also remind them (calmly, nicely) that sometimes moms and dads need to talk about things that are simply none of their business. Still, the tendency to be :bigear: is certainly present!

Hang in there. :)

[Mom2legomaniacs]

Yeah, mine do this too. I used to tell them it was none of their business and did not concern them. Now the older decides that he needs to use this on his brother all the time. Maybe not the best thing to say. Perhaps I will try telling them that it is a private conversation. Sounds better than none of your business! (or none of your beeswax!:lol:)

[Elaine]

Oh, I am right there with you!;)

They claim not to hear me when I yell things like, "Go and brush your teeth, it's time for bed." But begin to whisper or talk in the low, don't want little ears to hear voice and they are all over me lilke white on rice. It drives me batty:willy_nilly:

I don't tolerate it from my children or anyone else's for that matter. We have one friend in particular whose 12 year old son lurks around listening for little bits of our conversation.:glare: I ask him to leave the room or I will sometimes just stop talking because he is super nosey.

[Sweetpeach]

All. the. time. and it makes me beyond crabby!

I tell my boys not to hover and they know that is mommy's polite way of saying "buzz off and now."

T

[Mom2legomaniacs]

All. the. time. and it makes me beyond crabby!

I tell my boys not to hover and they know that is mommy's polite way of saying "buzz off and now."

T

:lol: I tell one of mine to stop lurking!

[kalanamak]

Combine this with a hard of hearing hubby who thinks everything I say to anybody is addressed to him! Both hubby and kiddo are well acquainted with my "I wasn't speaking to you". I would only start the "this is rude" after I'd done the patient part, and the "what did I just tell you" part. I don't do that to hubby, however. He can't help it (well, at least part of it).

[Ellie]

No, but if they had, I would have sent them from the room. It is rude.

[*anj*]

Yes, they do. Well, the two oldest do anyway. It makes me long for the old days before they could read. And spell. And before the oldest figured out how to even understand some of the things we say when we go into "SAT vocab mode."

If we're in the car we blast the radio in the back. If we're at home we send him away, far away. I start off giving a look that says "Stop being nosy" and then I'll say something like "You are not involved in this conversation, so keep moving."

I remember doing it to my parents when I was a kid. I remember playing a game with myself. Whenever my mom answered the phone I would figure out who she was talking to, and I had to do it within a couple of sentences or something. I was nearly always right.

But yes, it's rude and should be strongly discouraged.:glare:

[3lilreds in NC]

Phew. I feel better that I'm not alone and that I am justified in discouraging this behavior. :) I suppose I've tried to overlook it and now I've hit breaking point so I'm not as patient as I could be. I need to sit down and discuss with them why I don't like it, and tell them what my response will be from now on. And perhaps try to get a little more sleep so every. little. thing. doesn't make me feel like I'm losing my mind. That might help too.

[OnTheBrink]

Yes, they do. Well, the two oldest do anyway. It makes me long for the old days before they could read. And spell. And before the oldest figured out how to even understand some of the things we say when we go into "SAT vocab mode."

If we're in the car we blast the radio in the back. If we're at home we send him away, far away. I start off giving a look that says "Stop being nosy" and then I'll say something like "You are not involved in this conversation, so keep moving."

I remember doing it to my parents when I was a kid. I remember playing a game with myself. Whenever my mom answered the phone I would figure out who she was talking to, and I had to do it within a couple of sentences or something. I was nearly always right.

But yes, it's rude and should be strongly discouraged.:glare:

LOL, I do almost the exact same things. I tell dd, "I'm sorry; you're not involved in this conversation so you need to go do something else." I've even reverted to the SAT Vocab mode and sometimes she still gets it. For the most part, I just tell her it's "nunya" and move her along.

[Momto4kids]

and then ask "What did you say?"

I know they don't want to be left out of anything. I get it. I really do. However - anytime I'm talking to one of them and not the other, or talking to dh, and they are within earshot but either don't pay close attention or can't quite hear, they constantly ask, "What did you say? What? What did she do? What happened?"

It's crazy-making. And it's rude, right? It's not just me being crabby?

It's not as if I have conversations within their hearing that they can't hear. It's just so irritating to have them come and butt in. I tried explaining this to dd7 tonight - dd8 was asking what my friend got when we went shopping today, and I told her, and dd7 must have heard me talking because of course she comes down the hall to ask, "What?" She interrupted me, too. I explained to her that I was not talking to her, and it was rude of her to interrupt, and she went weeping to her room. (Note: I did not yell. I explained all this calmly. Her response was unwarranted, IMO, but she's 7 and tired.)

How do you handle this? Or are my children the only ones who feel they must hear every word spoken to any member of the family?

I agree with you all it is rude. But it is just a learning process. They just need to learn that it is rude. Just like anything else we teach our kids, if we don't teach them and let them know how else will they know that its rude, KWIM? I hope this doesn't come across as snarky it is not meant too.

[*anj*]

For the most part, I just tell her it's "nunya" and move her along.

:lol:We say "nunya" too! :lol:

[3lilreds in NC]

I agree with you all it is rude. But it is just a learning process. They just need to learn that it is rude. Just like anything else we teach our kids, if we don't teach them and let them know how else will they know that its rude, KWIM? I hope this doesn't come across as snarky it is not meant too.

No, not snarky, I agree with you. I was talking with dh about it and realized that we've let the behavior continue and either answered their questions or gotten annoyed, not trained them out of it. I know it's my lack of parenting - guess I was just looking for a little commiseration. :D

[Riverfront Headmistress]

My 10 year old dd is terrible about eavesdropping. When I'm having a phone conversation, she always ask who it is - my standard reply is "Yo mama".

[lwilliams1922]

this is STILL an issue for my 12 yo.

We had a converstaion just this morining.
she found out something happened within the family and was pannicked that there was a situtation she was (intentionlly) not aware and part of.

She started to drill me for details. I told her calmly that she is NOT part of any and all conversations and it's not appropraite to interject herself or easedrop or read over our shoulders.

She was offended that I would put the 'need to know' block on details.

[newbie]

Drives me batty, and I thought doubling house size would help keep my older *Nebby Nellie* out of earshot.

No, she still nebs. I always come into a room and she has a scowl, I ask what is wrong and she goes into her why did you say such and such spiel.

I cant wait til she gets older and I start listening to all her conversations.

Jet

[Gretchen in NJ]

I don't like it, but they continue to do it. Sometimes they try and follow me from room to room.:glare:

[Remudamom]

If they ask, I'll tell them "Nunya", as in nunya business.

[OnTheBrink]

What's worse is, I have a friend, whom I love dearly, but her dc will get right up in my face, with their eyes all big, as if I have 2 heads and 4 noses. I can physically move away and they just follow. They do it to everyone when their mother and another adult are talking and it makes me NUTS.

[Tutor]

All.the.time.

Especially our 11-going-on-30 dd. We just tell her that it is rude to listen in on other people's conversations and that we would make it clear whether or not she was invited in on a conversation or not. Our general rule is, if you want to have a private conversation with someone, you make sure you are in a private place where you are not rudely excluding people. If you are having a conversation in a "public place" (i.e where everyone is gathered), then it should be assumed that the conversation is for everyone.

[Sasharowan]

Mine keep doing this. I finally resorted to a flat "none of your business." They would not get the hint any other way and if I tried to say it nice like you did, I got tears. At least this way if they cry, I can feel mean about it.

[JFS in IL]

When we catch them eavesdropping, hubby and I go into automatic "mess with their brain" mode and start discussing how much military school will cost, or how soon the cable tv will be gone, or why the kids should spend their summer painting the house....