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View Full Version : Follow up to "Scarey morning" post about home invasion.


Linda in NE
02-03-2008, 10:43 PM
Well, I don't know what to say. I've been busy all day (hugging my son and thanking God that he's okay, talking to the police, and at the officer's suggestion, talking to some neighbors and circulating this young woman's description) and have just had a chance to read through responses posted here.

First and foremost, we did call the police. I thought that was necessary, and my husband finally agreed when a friend I talked to about the situation who used to work as a police dispatcher convinced him it was the thing to do. He had his reasons. I won't go into them here in any great detail, but we aren't into anything illegal, we weren't afraid of getting ourselves in trouble, etc. Essentially, he was concerned that we not create a paper trail that would lead this woman back to us. She seemed to think she lived here, and he didn't want her to be able to find us if she wants to "visit" again. Just between you and me, I didn't agree with him and still don't. As I said before, I just wanted him to remove her from our house. I did not expect him to drive her anywhere, and when he told her he would, I thought he was taking her to the police station. I was surprised. I didn't think it was a wise thing to do, but I did want her out of my house asap. It didn't occur to me to argue with him with her standing in the kitchen, my dog barking and growling at her, my kids freaking out, and me so shocked I was simply numb.

Next, I was the one who saw her purse on the floor next to the chair she had been sitting in before we came in. It was small and was lying open on the floor. She did not have a gun. I would have seen it if she had one. I suppose she could have been carrying a knife on her person. Weapons really didn't occur to me. She scared me because of her demeanor more than anything. It's very hard to describe. She did not raise her voice, but she was strident, insistent that she had been here before. She seemed to imply she belonged here or something. It was eerie.

I admit I was not immediately worried about her well being at all. My protective instincts moved me to get her as far away from my kids as possible as quickly as possible. I wanted my husband to physically remove her, if necessary. He didn't touch her to get her out to the car. She went to the garage voluntarily and got into the van. He told me later he dialed 911 on his cell phone and was prepared to hit the talk button if she threatened him or caused him trouble in the car.

He left her in front of some apartments. She told him she lived there. I asked him if he saw her go inside. He said he did not wait to see if she did or didn't. We gave the address to the police, and I understood they intended to check on her. I gave the police a complete description when we made the report. I hope they do manage to verify her safety. I do not wish her harm.

I can't remember other specific comments that pertain directly to the situation that I might address. We left things in the hands of the police. The officer suggested I contact neighbors and circulate a description of the young woman because of her apparent belief that she belonged in my house. He felt she may come back. I hope not.

Finally, I realize that a few people suggested that either this really didn't happen or that I really don't exist. I can assure you that it did and that I'm a real person. I hold a license to practice law. Before I quit to be a full time mom, I was a partner in a civil litigation firm -- i.e., contract disputes, corporate law, debt collection, NOT criminal law. I know relatively little about the criminal side of things. I am 53 years old, with two sons. I currently do legal transcription work from my home, and we do a paper route as a family, to help support our homeschool lifestyle. Believe me, if I were still practicing law, there would be no need for me to do the series of odd jobs I've held over the last several years. While I'm not a frequent poster, I've been active on the WTM boards for the last seven years. My name has always been Linda in NE. If you don't believe me, search the old boards. You'll find posts there from me in the archives going way back.

I'm not really shocked or offended by anything that was said by those responding to my original post. I posted for the purpose of venting stress. I was simply stunned. If it served to get people talking to their families about what they would do in such a situation, I suppose some good was done. I'll go back to lurking now. Thanks for listening.

Linda in NE

j.griff
02-03-2008, 10:47 PM
(((Linda))), I am so glad to hear you did call the cops and ITU being befuddled in the situation. I'm glad you are all okay.

Julie in CA
02-03-2008, 10:59 PM
I'm really glad that you're all ok, and that you did call the police. I'm also glad that your dh was ok after taking her in the car, and I'm sure you understand that people's hesitation with that situation wasn't really dependent upon whether she had a gun in her purse. Many, many things could have (and still could) go wrong with your dh alone in a van with her.
I'm so glad also, that you sound like a real (!) and normal poster. Thanks for your gracious response to what surely must have felt like an "attack of criticism." :)
~Julie~
p.s. I sure hope she doesn't come back!

Colleen
02-03-2008, 11:03 PM
This was very gracious, Linda; thanks for taking the time to share all that. I had faith you'd follow-up on the situation and I sincerely hope things work out well for all concerned. Fwiw, I know you from the former boards and mentioned that at the end of the other thread. No worries. (((Linda)))

Peek a Boo
02-03-2008, 11:05 PM
mega dittos to the above comments --I for one am sooo relieved!! on a few different levels too ;)

thanks for checking back in with us, and don't be a lurker too much --we need more posters w/ lotsa guts :-)

GothicGyrl
02-03-2008, 11:06 PM
I am glad you called the police. That was the best thing you could have ever done. Well, best thing was to call them when she was there, but... at least they are called.

That is all I'll say otherwise. I stand by everything else I said in the original post (why did you make a new one? You could have just added to that one making it a lot easier on you, but...)....

I'm just glad you called the Police. Oh and please don't start going after us--it was far from an attack and was simply the truth. Most of us were really squicked out at how it was handled and just couldn't imagine doing it the way it was done. And yes, it did spark many of us to conversation with our families, which, in the end, is all that matters.

I'm just glad you finally called the Police.

Kelli in TN
02-03-2008, 11:10 PM
I am so glad you came back to update us. I did not see all the responses, but I am sorry if you felt like people doubted you or were harshly critical of you and your actions. I am glad you called the police and that they are looking for the seemingly troubled woman. Please don't do the should-have, would-have cycle with yourself. All is well now.

I am saying a little prayer for you right now. I am specifically praying that you and your whole family sleep peacefully and do not have any bad dreams from this crazy day.

Colleen
02-03-2008, 11:18 PM
Why are you acting so defensive, Toni? Many people, in Linda's shoes, would have come back here wringing their hands, lamenting the fact that they didn't merely receive hugs and affirmation. She did no such thing. Rather, she expressly said she's not offended. Why did she start a new thread? Why not? And why do you ask? Some people feel like the threads here get unwieldy, in which case they may prefer to "start from scratch" in carrying on (or tying up) a conversation.

There are times when you have a tendency to create words where none were spoken. This is one such case. Linda did not start going after anyone. She did not imply she'd been on the receiving end of an "attack". Since, as you say, all that matters in the end is that it sparked worthwhile conversation, why not let it go at that.

Linda in NE
02-03-2008, 11:24 PM
That is all I'll say otherwise. I stand by everything else I said in the original post (why did you make a new one? You could have just added to that one making it a lot easier on you, but...)....

I'm just glad you called the Police. Oh and please don't start going after us--it was far from an attack and was simply the truth. Most of us were really squicked out at how it was handled and just couldn't imagine doing it the way it was done. And yes, it did spark many of us to conversation with our families, which, in the end, is all that matters.

I'm just glad you finally called the Police.

I posted anew so that it could be readily found and seen. There were so many responses to the original post, I thought a new one would be more easily found, and several persons had expressed a desire to hear more from me or have questions answered.

No complaints from me about the responses. Reasonable minds can differ. I am the first to admit that my mind was far from reasonable for at least a couple of hours this morning. Shock can do that to a person.

Regards,
Linda in NE

Jill, OK
02-03-2008, 11:40 PM
...it was a very gracious response, too.

Glad everyone's okay, and that the police were called.

Sharon in SC
02-03-2008, 11:44 PM
Linda,
I have had your family/home on my heart today and have prayed accordingly. I am thankful you took the steps that you did after posting (alerting authorities, etc) and will trust those measures to bring closure to a very disconcerting experience. May peace truly reign in your home this evening!
Blessings,
Sharon

TRILLIUM
02-03-2008, 11:52 PM
I wanted my husband to physically remove her, if necessary. He didn't touch her to get her out to the car. She went to the garage voluntarily and got into the van. He told me later he dialed 911 on his cell phone and was prepared to hit the talk button if she threatened him or caused him trouble in the car.

Linda in NE



I'm glad everything is fine, but you should know calling 911 on a cell phone is not like calling 911 on a land line. They can not necessarily figure out where you are. I had first had experience of this when I had a bike accident. They tried using the cell phone, but had difficulty connecting to the correct emergency department. They had to find a house with a land line. Here's one link with an explanation http://firstaid.about.com/od/callingforhelp/bb/cell911.htm

Serendipity
02-04-2008, 12:07 AM
I'm glad the police are involved and that the neighbors are aware (or going to be...can't remember which right this moment) of the situation. Thank you for the update.

And...I'm glad to know you and your family are *real*, but sorry that the knowledge was gained because of such a heart stoppingly frightening event.

:(

JudoMom
02-04-2008, 12:19 AM
I hope you're able to rest peacefully tonight. Don't lurk--you express yourself really well!

HSMom2One
02-04-2008, 12:51 AM
Thank you for the update, Linda. I'm so thankful that no one was hurt! It could have turned out so much worse. Because of your trauma many of us here will pray for your family tonight.

Please group, pray for the young woman too, as she obviously has problems that need attention. And if it comes to mind to pray for my family and I tomorrow morning concerning my son's commitment hearing I'd sure appreciate it. My son has had this illness for nine years and the grief is sometimes so overwhelming. I don't know what I'd do without my faith!

Blessings,
Lucinda

Amy in Orlando
02-04-2008, 02:13 AM
What a day you all have had. I'm glad you're all safe and I hope the police can find this woman and get her whatever help she needs. Thanks so much for the update.

Chris in VA
02-04-2008, 02:24 AM
LRB, I've prayed for you. I've been thru a committment hearing, and it's hard, but needed. I feel the same way about my faith.
Peace,

Fourmother
02-04-2008, 03:02 AM
I'm thankful that your family is safe and that the police have been contacted. It's a good thing that your husband wasn't injured or threatened while giving that young woman a ride. I'd guess that he might choose a different course of action it he were ever confronted with such a situation again.

Sometimes men underestimate danger when the potential threat comes from a woman. Perhaps it's machismo. One of my dh's coworkers had a restraining order against his ex-girlfriend. One day she came to the office in an unheathly mental and/or drug induced state. Another co-worker who was working late (an MD) took it upon himself to watch over her and let her "sleep it off" in his office. I was shocked that no one called the police and actually laughed at how foolish these guys were. I stopped laughing several weeks later my dh and several others in the office were interviewed by the police because this disturbed young woman accused the doctor of rape. Eventually, the charges were dropped, but not until quite a bit of troubled had been caused for this man.

I sincerely hope your family won't have to face anything like this.

Scarlett
02-04-2008, 07:49 AM
Linda, I want to apologize for doubting your story even for a second...I really am thankful your family is ok. I took my 7 yo into my lap yesterday and read your post to him and we had a long discussion about it. Your story underscores the fact that children will NOT react in the manner that we THINK they would in dangerous situations.

I also thought your response to the board was very gracious.

Mom2GirlsTX
02-04-2008, 10:56 AM
Linda, I too apologize for doubting your story, I really thought it might be true, but after things in the past on the boards...well, it made me wonder.
I am very thankful you guys called the police, alerted the neighbors, and first and foremost, I'm thankful you guys are all safe!

Just Me
02-04-2008, 11:10 AM
Linda, I am so glad your family is safe. And I am thankful to you for sparking some discussions within our family. We are just beginning to leave our children alone, and I know that this is something that our younger son would have done.

(((Linda)))

Sebastian (a lady)
02-04-2008, 01:46 PM
And I am thankful to you for sparking some discussions within our family. We are just beginning to leave our children alone, and I know that this is something that our younger son would have done.

I find that it's easy to forget that my kids don't always understand things the same way that I do. I was at a neighbor's house for an hour last week and told the kids they could watch a movie, but not answer the door unless it was an adult they knew.

When I came back, I rang the bell, just to see what would happen. #2 son opened the door a crack to see who it was, instead of using the peephole, which is to high for him. I don't think it ever occured to him that opening the door could allow someone to push it all the way open.

There is a lot of shrewdness that comes with being older. It is such a struggle to try to impart some of that shrewdness and skepticism without being doom and gloom in the other direction.

Remudamom
02-04-2008, 01:56 PM
I was pronounced a troll a couple of years ago over a post about one of my pregnant mares. I never did figure that one out.

Ferdie
02-04-2008, 02:01 PM
Linda,

Just wanted to thank you for sharing your original post. My ds and I discussed it this morning. He stays home by himself for a few minutes every now and then and one of our rules is never open the door to anyone, not even Mom or Dad. I told him that if we ever lose our key we will go to a neighbor and get a spare or call him first. He thought that was a pretty dumb rule, but your experience has shed a new light on it for him.

Thanking God that you and your family are alright.