Scary morning -- Came home to a stranger in the house w/ my 11 yo son.

[Linda in NE]

My family has an early morning paper route. Usually, one parent goes with one boy to do the route, leaving the other boy with one parent at home. Sundays are difficult days, however, because we have to assemble the papers, fold them, and deliver them, and because the papers are very large and heavy. Consequently, my husband and I sometimes both go with one of our sons to deliver the papers on Sunday morning, leaving one child asleep at home by himself. I always check to see that all the doors and windows are locked before we leave, and we always leave our dog at home (a very large dog who is very protective of both boys).

My husband and I and our eldest son (13 yo) left the house this morning at about 5:15 a.m. to do the route. We got home shortly before 7:00 a.m. to find a strange woman in our kitchen with our 11 yo son. He says that he got up while we were out to check his computer to see if a large download he began before he went to bed was finished. As he sat at his computer, he heard someone trying to open our front door with a key. He thought it was his dad, who usually enters the house through the front door when he comes home from work. Why my son thought his dad would be coming in that way on Sunday morning is anyone's guess. Because my son thought it was his dad, he unlocked and opened the door without looking to see who it was. (The top half of our front door is glass covered by an opaque curtain.) He says that, once he opened the door "a little," this strange young woman pushed the door open all the way, walked in past him, went to the kitchen, and sat down at our kitchen table. She had no coat (it's very cold here), and she just carried a small purse.

Although my son says she was just here "a couple of minutes" before my husband, my elder son, and I returned, I suspect that is not the case. When we arrived, my elder son entered the house ahead of my husband and I. We came into the kitchen from a door leading to the garage. My elder son found this strange woman sitting at the kitchen table and my younger son across the room standing next to the stove near a drawer where I keep my kitchen knives. The younger son told the elder that this woman was lost and he was trying to give her directions. What convinces me that she had been in the house for sometime is the fact that my younger son says he told the woman that I was upstairs and he went to the stairs to call me and that he put the dog out in the back yard. The dog was going nuts with a stranger in the house, and my son actually put him in the back yard!!! I can't believe it. Anyway, my younger son clearly had time to do these things and to determine that the stranger wasn't behaving coherently. He was clearly very uncomfortable and intended to defend himself with a kitchen knife if she approached him.

I came into the kitchen and found a young woman there wearing jeans and a black, long-sleeved sweater. I'd guess she was in her 20s. She was incoherent. She kept saying she'd been here in my home with other people. She acted as if she didn't know her name and couldn't tell us where she lived or where she came from. Basically, she rambled on about nothing at all and was non-responsive to our questions. I turned to my husband, who was behind me, and mouthed "She's nuts. Get her out." My husband got her in his car and drove her across town, following directions she gave him. She got out of the car in a very bad neighborhood, and my husband just drove away. He said that she almost passed out in the car.

My guess is she was on meth. I could not smell alcohol on her, but she was clearly under the influence of something. Her mascara had run and was smeared over her lower eyelids and cheeks. My younger son said she told him she hadn't slept for five or six days, and she looked like it. She had no clue where she was, and we live on a cul de sac that's rather secluded. There were no stalled or abandoned cars around -- we would have noticed them on our way in. I wonder how long she'd been walking and how she came to our house. We left some lights on inside. I guess she could have been drawn to them.

I can't believe my younger son let her in. He's a very mature kid in every way. We've had all the talks with him and his brother about stranger danger, and I've never had any cause to be alarmed about his behavior up until now. I've not left him home alone until the last month or so, but I thought he'd proven himself or I never would have considered it. I only left him this morning because I thought he would be asleep with all the doors locked and the watch dog on guard. Clearly, we're going to need to rethink things around here.

Breathing a sigh of profound relief,
Linda

[rockermom]

That sounds very frightening. Thank God he and the rest of your family are okay. I can't imagine the panic you must have felt.

[KristineIN]

Wow, glad things turned out ok. I probably would have called the cops next time. Especially if she was on drugs. :eek:

Hope the rest of the day goes well.

Kristine

[JudoMom]

My family has an early morning paper route. Usually, one parent goes with one boy to do the route, leaving the other boy with one parent at home. Sundays are difficult days, however, because we have to assemble the papers, fold them, and deliver them, and because the papers are very large and heavy. Consequently, my husband and I sometimes both go with one of our sons to deliver the papers on Sunday morning, leaving one child asleep at home by himself. I always check to see that all the doors and windows are locked before we leave, and we always leave our dog at home (a very large dog who is very protective of both boys).

My husband and I and our eldest son (13 yo) left the house this morning at about 5:15 a.m. to do the route. We got home shortly before 7:00 a.m. to find a strange woman in our kitchen with our 11 yo son. He says that he got up while we were out to check his computer to see if a large download he began before he went to bed was finished. As he sat at his computer, he heard someone trying to open our front door with a key. He thought it was his dad, who usually enters the house through the front door when he comes home from work. Why my son thought his dad would be coming in that way on Sunday morning is anyone's guess. Because my son thought it was his dad, he unlocked and opened the door without looking to see who it was. (The top half of our front door is glass covered by an opaque curtain.) He says that, once he opened the door "a little," this strange young woman pushed the door open all the way, walked in past him, went to the kitchen, and sat down at our kitchen table. She had no coat (it's very cold here), and she just carried a small purse.

Although my son says she was just here "a couple of minutes" before my husband, my elder son, and I returned, I suspect that is not the case. When we arrived, my elder son entered the house ahead of my husband and I. We came into the kitchen from a door leading to the garage. My elder son found this strange woman sitting at the kitchen table and my younger son across the room standing next to the stove near a drawer where I keep my kitchen knives. The younger son told the elder that this woman was lost and he was trying to give her directions. What convinces me that she had been in the house for sometime is the fact that my younger son says he told the woman that I was upstairs and he went to the stairs to call me and that he put the dog out in the back yard. The dog was going nuts with a stranger in the house, and my son actually put him in the back yard!!! I can't believe it. Anyway, my younger son clearly had time to do these things and to determine that the stranger wasn't behaving coherently. He was clearly very uncomfortable and intended to defend himself with a kitchen knife if she approached him.

I came into the kitchen and found a young woman there wearing jeans and a black, long-sleeved sweater. I'd guess she was in her 20s. She was incoherent. She kept saying she'd been here in my home with other people. She acted as if she didn't know her name and couldn't tell us where she lived or where she came from. Basically, she rambled on about nothing at all and was non-responsive to our questions. I turned to my husband, who was behind me, and mouthed "She's nuts. Get her out." My husband got her in his car and drove her across town, following directions she gave him. She got out of the car in a very bad neighborhood, and my husband just drove away. He said that she almost passed out in the car.

My guess is she was on meth. I could not smell alcohol on her, but she was clearly under the influence of something. Her mascara had run and was smeared over her lower eyelids and cheeks. My younger son said she told him she hadn't slept for five or six days, and she looked like it. She had no clue where she was, and we live on a cul de sac that's rather secluded. There were no stalled or abandoned cars around -- we would have noticed them on our way in. I wonder how long she'd been walking and how she came to our house. We left some lights on inside. I guess she could have been drawn to them.

I can't believe my younger son let her in. He's a very mature kid in every way. We've had all the talks with him and his brother about stranger danger, and I've never had any cause to be alarmed about his behavior up until now. I've not left him home alone until the last month or so, but I thought he'd proven himself or I never would have considered it. I only left him this morning because I thought he would be asleep with all the doors locked and the watch dog on guard. Clearly, we're going to need to rethink things around here.

Breathing a sigh of profound relief,
Linda

I've got to ask, though...why didn't you call the police? Very scary that she was there!

[Ellie]

I can only imagine the discussions you and your dh are having with your ds!

Praise God nothing serious happened.

[Michelle in MO]

My middle daughter, who is 13 now, let someone in our house last year. It wasn't nearly as scary of a situation as what you've described, but she had been left alone in the house before with firm instructions to never open the door to strangers, nor to answer the phone unless the caller ID came up with my cell phone or my husband's phone numbers. Nevertheless, someone came around to our house selling something. She let him in----he was a fairly big guy, too, and was somewhat intimidating and stood almost face to face with me. I showed him the door ASAP. Then, I had a very firm talk with her and explained to her that what she did was very foolish and dangerous. My husband repeated the same message to her that evening. It hasn't happened since, but I was in shock that she had done that, especially since she'd been warned repeatedly not to open the door to strangers. I was there---but she had let this individual in without so much as telling me some stranger was at the door. Kids don't always think about these things! I empathize with you. This should be a good teaching opportunity for your dear children.

[Linda in NE]

we just wanted to get her out of the house and away from the kids as soon as possible. When my husband started trying to get her to get in our car, I thought he intended to take her to the police station and make a report in person. When he returned and told me he just left the woman on the sidewalk in that area of town, I was worried for her. She was not in any condition to be on her own anywhere, let alone where he left her. I asked him the address and started to call to make a report anyway, but he stopped me, telling me to just leave it alone now. He didn't think there was anything that could be done.

Linda

[Quiver0f10]

I understand, but my heart stopped when you said DH drove her home, alone. I would have called the cops. Not in this day and age. What a scary, strange morning for you! {{{ hugs}}}

[mcconnellboys]

I'm so very happy that you're safe! That's just about the scariest story I've heard in a long time. I would definitely rethink leaving younger son alone,

Regena

[Myrtle]

I've got to ask, though...why didn't you call the police? Very scary that she was there!

That question went through my mind as well.

No way I'd allow a drugged out stranger in my car not knowing if they were armed or not, not knowing if they might vomit or urinate in the vehicle. This person could have easily been wanted on multiple felony warrants. Too bad the police didn't get a chance to do a background check on her to find out either way.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

I can't believe my younger son let her in. He's a very mature kid in every way. We've had all the talks with him and his brother about stranger danger, and I've never had any cause to be alarmed about his behavior up until now. I've not left him home alone until the last month or so, but I thought he'd proven himself or I never would have considered it. I only left him this morning because I thought he would be asleep with all the doors locked and the watch dog on guard. Clearly, we're going to need to rethink things around here.



You know, I seriously doubt your son would EVER do this again. This will be a lesson he (and all of you) will long remember.

I hope the lady finds help. If she's not on drugs, she's likely had a psychotic break and needs a hospital. :(

[Lisa at Home]

Otherwise, I am so glad that no one was harmed. How scary!!!:eek:

~Lisa

[lynn]

Were there no shelters to bring her to if you didn't want to call the police. I am with you in being concerned with her wellbeing. I am glad everyone is safe.

[GothicGyrl]

Aside from what everyone said about your son, your husband was wrong.

You should have called the Police, they should have picked that girl up and they would have taken her to get medical help. Dropping her off on some street corner is culpable negligence and if anything happens to her, you guys could be held partially responsible.

I'm sorry--the right way to handle this would have been to model the adult behavior of calling the police and getting medical help. Your son, while wrong for opening the door(which is why I am not saying anything about him), did everything he could have, that girl could need some medical help. She could have been OD'ing, she could have been running from an abusive situation.

And your Dh just dumped her on the side of the road. Sad.

Oh abd btw, to my stalker--go ahead and give me another negative. You are a grade a coward and moron if you can sling rep points without leaving your name. It seems I have someone who likes to follow me around here and give me negative points and leave comments like "whatever". I got one because I was JOKING with everyone else in the "what are the perks with the levels of bees" and they gave me a negative. I can't say what I really want to say..

[Snickerdoodle]

You should have called the Police, they should have picked that girl up and they would have taken her to get medical help.

I agree. In the end, she's someone's daughter.

[Snickerdoodle]

I meant to add before my son hit the keyboard and the message entered:

Very scary situation all around. My stomach would have dropped if I came home to a situation like that. I'm glad your son is safe.

[j.griff]

ITA, and I must say I am shocked that a hsing family would make such a poor decision. OTOH, I guess the stress of the situation can cloud ones judgement, and ITU wanting her out of the house away from the children. I would have tried to talk her outside, if that were the case AND Call the police and have them pick her up. There was absolutely NO reason for dh to be alone with a strange woman in a bad mental state in a vehicle to "give her a ride", she could accuse him of anything.

[Kissy]

That is soo scary. I am glad everyone is safe. I think people are being a little harsh I am sure you were in shock. I am not sure I would have had my wits enough to call police but I would have wanted to get her out of there too. I do hope if the situation presents itself again you will call police when you see someone that bad off. I have addicted family members and that is the best thing you can do for them. You could be their saving grace. But I understand how you felt coming home and just wanting her gone and away from your kids so she couldn't do any harm. Hugs.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

ITA, and I must say I am shocked that a hsing family would make such a poor decision.

Ah, Jenn, we're all at the end of the day only just human. Homeschooling, traditional schooling, or hybrid wackadoos like me. We all do what seems best with the information we have.

No one gets up in the morning saying, "You know, I think I'll make some poor decisions today, especially if I can manage to find myself scared nearly out of my wits. Let's see, think, think..."

[GothicGyrl]

Pam, if you are a hybrid wacko, then what am I? :)

And no, we are not being harsh, sorry. Her husband more than anyone else, was in the wrong. Yes, her son should not have even cracked the door, but she stated that this person "pushed" their way in. That tells me it was out of her sons control immediately, which therefore means he is not responsible.

What should have happened, homeschooling, unschooling, no schooling, wacko or not--was them calling the police the minute they walked in the door. Her DH could have been killed by taking her in his car! And that girl could have died once he dumped her.

Harsh or not, that's the truth of it. Yes, they were in shock, but her DH should have never, EVER denied her calling the police at any time, before during or after. The police should have been called immediately, but baring that, she should have called once DH returned. End of story. In fact, the police would be telling him the same thing, only they wouldn't be so nice about it. What he did was more stupid than the son opening the door.

But that aside, that was someone's child that you just unceremoniously dumped in a bad part of town. I would not want that hanging over my worst enemy's head. The worry alone, would kill me. What if she really and truly needed your help? You just threw her out to the same "wolves" that put her in that position.

I don't care if this sounds harsh, it burns me. Common decency for your fellow man has gone out the door. "Good Samaritan" no longer exists. And it's sad.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

Pam, if you are a hybrid wacko, then what am I? :)

And no, we are not being harsh, sorry. Her husband more than anyone else, was in the wrong. Yes, her son should not have even cracked the door, but she stated that this person "pushed" their way in. That tells me it was out of her sons control immediately, which therefore means he is not responsible.

What should have happened, homeschooling, unschooling, no schooling, wacko or not--was them calling the police the minute they walked in the door. Her DH could have been killed by taking her in his car! And that girl could have died once he dumped her.

Harsh or not, that's the truth of it. Yes, they were in shock, but her DH should have never, EVER denied her calling the police at any time, before during or after. The police should have been called immediately, but baring that, she should have called once DH returned. End of story. In fact, the police would be telling him the same thing, only they wouldn't be so nice about it. What he did was more stupid than the son opening the door.

But that aside, that was someone's child that you just unceremoniously dumped in a bad part of town. I would not want that hanging over my worst enemy's head. The worry alone, would kill me. What if she really and truly needed your help? You just threw her out to the same "wolves" that put her in that position.

I don't care if this sounds harsh, it burns me. Common decency for your fellow man has gone out the door. "Good Samaritan" no longer exists. And it's sad.

You're a homeschooler, as far as I know. No? *shrug*

I just don't see the point in telling someone who came onto the boards to express extreme relief that nothing horrible happened to her ds how wrong she and her husband handled the situation, that's all. No offense, honestly, to j.griff. I agree with her 99.9% of the time, I'd say, and value her opinions. Otherwise I wouldn't bother to reply to her.

But I'm not as direct as some, though I'm not arguing that this is always such a wonderful thing. I do care about sounding harsh, maybe that's my issue here.

[GothicGyrl]

Yes, pam, I am a homeschooler, for some time now. That comment was directed to your comment about J.griff saying "homeschoolers..."

And sometimes harsh is what people need. Yes, I am glad nothing happened. But if anything, her son should be commended for having a cool head and keeping calm in the situation! He was cooler and reacted better than mom and dad did.

Yes, she came here to sound off. But she can't expect no one to comment (just as I can't or you can't) to something that she (or I or you) said if someone here takes exception to it. That's the nature of message boards.

If you came on here wanting only good opinions on a chosen curriculum and I happen to know the bad side, I'm going to tell you that bad side because I believe it makes one very ill-informed to only know the good side (as well as delusional).

That's what she got. She's thankful nothing bad happened. That's a good thing. But she admonished her son for handling it the way he did, when she should have been standing up to her husband and telling him "NO" to him driving her to a bad side of town.

Hindsight is 20/20 as they say, so maybe she can take the good and "harsh" from these posts and work to correct it in the future (which, hopefully there won't be a future). Of course, had she called the Police, nothing I said would be "harsh", they'd have said the same thing.


And since I'm going for the whole cookie not just the chocolate chips--I must not be too harsh if I've already received 7 (that's SEVEN) positive rep points from my post above. Obviously, I'm not alone in my thinking.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

And since I'm going for the whole cookie not just the chocolate chips--I must not be too harsh if I've already received 7 (that's SEVEN) positive rep points from my post above. Obviously, I'm not alone in my thinking.


Ah, good for you!

The "speak the truth with love" rule applies for me, as I'm sure at the end of the day it does for you. I suspect what that looks like may be different from my end than from your end. But the heart intent is probably the same.

[Quiver0f10]

There was absolutely NO reason for dh to be alone with a strange woman in a bad mental state in a vehicle to "give her a ride", she could accuse him of anything.

This is exactly what went through my mind when I read that.

[kalanamak]

out the door if you like, but jump back in, lock it, call 911. She needs help, I'd bet. Hope is isn't too cold where she is. I lose patients this way...wander off from a mental institution and sit on a train track or come back very psychotic with completely raw feet :(

[Joanne]

I'm glad your family is safe.

I do think that in the moment of being confused, stunned and frightened, your DH made a mistake just as your son did. It happens; even as adults with kids. Don't be too harsh on your son, therefore. And consider even telling him that your DH made a mistake in safety, security and even in the interest of the woman.

If you haven't already, please educate your son (and other kids) on how certain drugs create the necessity of this lifestyle, how she needed medical attention. And that she needed a trespassing record on her criminal history.

One final thing, treakers and similar junkies are often "simply" incoherent. They are ALSO often SEEMINGLY incoherent. It could be she was fine, gathering information on your patterns, life and posessions. Yet another reason a police report should be filed in case your place was being scoped by her and others.

[j.griff]

:eek:Ah, Jenn, we're all at the end of the day only just human. Homeschooling, traditional schooling, or hybrid wackadoos like me. We all do what seems best with the information we have.

No one gets up in the morning saying, "You know, I think I'll make some poor decisions today, especially if I can manage to find myself scared nearly out of my wits. Let's see, think, think..."

I understand that, and I was probably "stereotyping" while thinking that someone who would be more discerning than (IMO) most of the population concerning their dc's education, that they would be more discerning in such a situation as this. I do understand that the stress of the situation could have been very befuddling, and I sympathize with that. But the OP suggested phoning the police when her dh arrived home, and he told her not to. :eek: That raises red flags for me, personally.
I was shocked at the decision not to call. I am not trying to be harsh, and I am very glad that the OP's family is safe. I just disagree with the way it was handled. I probably should have just left the hsing comment out of my first reply, and I'll keep that in mind in the future. :)

[j.griff]

You're a homeschooler, as far as I know. No? *shrug*

I just don't see the point in telling someone who came onto the boards to express extreme relief that nothing horrible happened to her ds how wrong she and her husband handled the situation, that's all. No offense, honestly, to j.griff. I agree with her 99.9% of the time, I'd say, and value her opinions. Otherwise I wouldn't bother to reply to her.

But I'm not as direct as some, though I'm not arguing that this is always such a wonderful thing. I do care about sounding harsh, maybe that's my issue here.

No offense taken, :) We just disagree on this subject.

[GothicGyrl]

Ah, good for you!

The "speak the truth with love" rule applies for me, as I'm sure at the end of the day it does for you. I suspect what that looks like may be different from my end than from your end. But the heart intent is probably the same.
I agree, Pam, that "speaking truth with love" is a good thing--but that doesn't mean "speak it as though you are a doormat". Meaning, one can very well speak the truth with love and still raise the roof on this person.

It reminds of the comic "Zits". Just recently, the teen son, who only just got his learner's permit, got arrested for "sneaking out at night with mom's car to see a girl".

Of course he was clearly in the wrong, but the way mom and dad handled it was a mix of "what WERE you thinking/I'm going to kill you/thankfully you are safe" and throughout the whole comic, this was shown.

So yes, one can speak the truth with love while still being harsh enough to set in the reality of what could have happened.

[Claire]

I have a sister who is mentally disabled, and the idea of her being dropped off in a bad neighborhood when she is off her medication (in the past this has happened through no fault of her own!) is truly frightening. The police are trained to deal with people who are on drugs or mentally ill, and they would have gotten this woman the help she needed. At the very least, they would have kept her safe. Dropping off a mentally disabled woman in a bad neighborhood was definitely not in her best interests.

[Peek a Boo]

I just don't see the point in telling someone who came onto the boards to express extreme relief that nothing horrible happened to her ds how wrong she and her husband handled the situation, that's all.

I think there is a HUGE point in hearing that one screwed up so they can take correct action next time.

Speaking the truth in love is great, but speaking a half-truth [which is what happens when you withold Very Important Information like Consequences] is NOT "love." true love educates and protects. It reaches out past superficialness and touches the heart. Sometimes that hurts at first, but I really hope we don't all mistake tough love for being mean.

I do think that *even at this point* the police should be called, for reasons given by Joanne and others. You need to do this *now* while all information you recall is as recent as possible --every hour that goes by means less information you can recall w/ clarity. This girl may have just MURDERED or beaten to w/in an inch of their life some opoor soul in a ditch somewhere that needs attention: and your actions might be hindering that person's very life and the authority's search/investigation. It will also model to your sons how to follow up correctly even when we seem to screw up --we may have to eat crow, but that's better than eating a Really Nasty situation later/ next time that could result in loss of life.

And while i certainly HOPE that the son would never do something like this again, i simply would never advise relying on such a course of action as "he probably won't....": WE ALL MAKE REPEAT MISTAKES --in fact, we often become complacent after "getting away" with the first one!! People are fallible. Repeatedly fallible. "You'd think they'd learn...." but even the best of us don't. We are merely human and need YEARS of teaching, training, and practicing in basic safety to protect ourselves and the people around us.

[Rhondabee]

That is soo scary. I am glad everyone is safe. I think people are being a little harsh I am sure you were in shock. I am not sure I would have had my wits enough to call police but I would have wanted to get her out of there too. I do hope if the situation presents itself again you will call police when you see someone that bad off. I have addicted family members and that is the best thing you can do for them. You could be their saving grace. But I understand how you felt coming home and just wanting her gone and away from your kids so she couldn't do any harm. Hugs.

I can't believe how harsh people are being here. I guess if you live with these types of people daily for any length of time, you automatically know how to act around them? Ya know, without you completely freakin' out?

Me? I would have been so scared, I wouldn't have been able to hear myself think over my heart pounding in my ears. I *certainly* wouldn't have called the police because I was worried about the health of an intruder in my home.

Maybe my own health and safety, but not hers....

And, when I'm freakin' out - with a situation I've never dealt with before - I do act more foolishly than when I'm in a hypothetical situation. DH, too. I'm just so glad this woman didn't attack the OP's dh while they were alone in the car!

[HSMom2One]

I'm so thankful that the family came in when they did, and that no one was hurt. I am with the others that stated that this could be a real learning opportunity for everyone involved. The police should have been contacted, not only for your safety, but for the young woman as well.

One of my ds' suffers from Bipolar Disorder, so my heart aches when I hear stories like yours. Because of the terrible state of our mental health system there are scores and scores of people, young and old, roaming the streets while suffering from episodes of manic, psychotic or depressive behavior. Many people suffering from mental illness try to medicate themselves with drugs and alcohol. For people that are not experienced with mental illness it is very frightening to come this close and become personally involved.

Tomorrow morning I have to testify in a commitment hearing for my son because he refuses long-term hospitalization. The system in our state is horrible and he has been in and out of the hospital 8 times in the last few months. One of the reasons we are trying to protect him is because he did what the young woman in your story did. He walked into a stranger's house the day after being released from the hospital. Fortunately nothing serious happened, but everyone involved was scared -- even my son who was terribly confused.

I'm only saying all this to add another perspective to the situation. While we first and foremost need to protect our families from danger, we also need to have compassion for the mentally ill and also those that struggle with addictions. This is why I wish the police had been called. The next house that young woman wanders into may shoot her or she may get run over by a car. Like someone said earlier, she's someone's daughter.

Please pray for the mentally ill and disenfranchised today as you read these posts. This is a very serious problem in our nation.

Blessings,
Lucinda

[GothicGyrl]

I think ALL of you who are admonishing us for being "harsh" need to step back and step off and look closely at the situation. You are not and because you are not, you think we are being mean and hurtful, when the opposite is truer.

Allow me:

THAT WOMAN COULD HAVE KILLED HER HUSBAND!
THAT WOMAN COULD HAVE BEEN SCOPING OUT HER HOUSE FOR A FUTURE ROBBERY!
THAT WOMAN COULD HAVE BEEN ARMED AND HURT HER CHILD!
THAT WOMAN COULD HAVE TWEAKED OUT ON THEM AND HURT EVERYONE!

Is that loud enough for you? Rhonda, I will not apologize for the "harshness" in my tone--but you "certainly" not calling the police shows your ignorance on how to protect yourself and your family.

NO ONE should have touched, interacted, or attempted to move this woman. Instead, the right thing to do would have been to escort everyone out of the house while on the phone with the police. Her DH put not only himself in jeapordy, but his entire family by denying his wife the right to call the police. What he did was flat out the most stupidest thing one can do--not thinking clearly or being scared does not matter!! That's when we should be thinking the best!

And it wasn't the point of worrying about the health of the intruder--it was worrying about you, your kids and your DH's safety!!! Period. The cops should have AND STILL SHOULD BE called!!

End of story. Go ahead and boo-hoo me while patting her on the back saying "it's alright". No it is not and it will never be, now. Fix it while you can. File the report just in case. Don't be stupid and ignore this.

And to those of you who have mentally disabled relatives: I am sorry they risk being treated this horribly. Even though one makes the decision to do drugs or drink, it IS a disability and some just cannot help it (speaking of the woman in the OP, not the mentally disabled). I had a Great Aunt who was Severe Down's who used to do this. Thankfully, everyone knew who Tia Bege was, or else she'd have been dumped by the roadside and I would have been robbed of a most wonderful Auntie. :(

[Peek a Boo]

Rhonda-- you might want to try calling your local police and asking THEM how one should have reacted in such a situation.

It's precisely because we CAN lose our cool and thoughtfulness in a situation that seing threads like this discussed ad nauseum is INVALUABLE. Words are much less harsh than actuality.

I missed one post above about the girl possibly accusing the dh of something --do you KNOW what an allegation of rape on her dh could do to this family?? Just the allegation alone??? And if she dies and evidence from him [hair, etc while he was helping her] is found on her?? That's a murder charge. They need to report this ASAP to protect themselves and help her. I am VERY glad that they are not hurt, but I am NOT relieved and even more frightened for them *now* because they "got away" with one mistake --i really hope they don't let one mistake of complacency snowball into another.

please, Please, PLEASE call the police.

[Gamom3]

I say this because, I had a situation a few years back. Dh was working nights, around 11:30pm the door bell rang, I ran to the door thinking my dh had forgot the house key, only to realize that he NEVER uses the front door,he always uses the garage. If I had not thought that by the time I got to the door, then I would have opened it. My dog scared off the person that was there.
You say your ds got up to check on something he was doing on the computer, he could have forgotten what day it was and thought it was his dad. You said the woman pushed her way in, once he opened the door. I would assume he probably tried to shut the door, once he saw it wasn't his dad. I don't know why he would have let the dog outside, but for him to be smart enough to go for a knife for protection...Good for him!!! I think this is a wake up call for him and he will be more on guard!!

[Rhondabee]

Is that loud enough for you? Rhonda, I will not apologize for the "harshness" in my tone--but you "certainly" not calling the police shows your ignorance on how to protect yourself and your family.

NO ONE should have touched, interacted, or attempted to move this woman. Instead, the right thing to do would have been to escort everyone out of the house while on the phone with the police. Her DH put not only himself in jeapordy, but his entire family by denying his wife the right to call the police. What he did was flat out the most stupidest thing one can do--not thinking clearly or being scared does not matter!! That's when we should be thinking the best!

:(


You misunderstood my statement a bit.

I didn't say that I *certainly* wouldn't call the police period. (Tho' I'm not sure I would have called them in front of her...)

I said that I would not be motivated to call them out of concern for the health and well-being of the person who had invaded my home. It seemed to me that several posters were *very* concerned about this woman's health and much less concerned about the family who was being violated. I don't think concern for this invader's welfare would or should be the motivation to call the police. I think the fact that she's an invader is more than reason enough.

And, I completely agree with your second paragraph (except that I don't think he was acting "stupidly" ~ I think "foolishly" would be a better term - less "Harsh" if you will). Calling foolish actions stupid isn't helpful; it only serves to stir up controversy and divert attention away from anything helpful you have to say. (Kind of like when someone leaves you negative rep - it riles you, but doesn't really altar your perceptions at all, right?)

Again, when my dh drove some *&^$)#(*^$ all around Atlanta one day for 4 hours, trying to find an ATM Machine that would accept his card, so he could give this guy some money for......Ya know, it was foolish. My dh felt violated, and it affected him deeply for weeks. Would it have helped him for me to have called him stupid? No. Understand a bit now?

I think probably, if I hadn't have fainted :p, I would have screamed, started hyperventilating, grabbed my children and RAN AS FAST AS I COULD TO THE NEIGHBORS. Hopefully they would be smart enough to call the police - LOL!

But, all that is just conjecture. Hypothetical. The point is I really don't know. Probably faint dead away, to be honest. :D I'm sorry, I just can't relate to being so sure of what I would do when faced with such a situation.

But, you and Peek have stirred me into thinking that we (my family) do need to have discussions about these kind of situations, and about what we should/would do.

[Colleen]

ITA, and I must say I am shocked that a hsing family would make such a poor decision.

So you wouldn't be shocked if a family who didn't homeschool made the same decision? Can you help me understand the difference? Thanks!

[Colleen]

What a scary situation, indeed! I am sorry you had to face that, and grateful no one in your family came to harm.

I think you have a great learning opportunity here for your entire family. You're surprised that your son let the woman in (and the dog out), and of course you'll talk about that with him. But I believe you also need to talk with him about how and your husband handled the situation. In my opinion, the example you set in not telephoning the police is somewhat contradictory to other messages you likely send your son. I understand that you wanted the woman out of your home, but if you were truly fearful in that sense, your husband could have simply put her outside and locked the door. Taking her in the car on his own was unsafe and unwise. It also didn't allow the young woman to receive the help she likely needed.

I know hindsight is 20/20, so please understand that I'm not admonishing you, but encouraging you to talk about these things with your sons and, in the future, not to hesitate to use the emergency resources we have at our disposal ~ for the good of all concerned. Peace to you.

[Rhondabee]

You make a good argument. And, I'm admittedly naive.

[Snickerdoodle]

I don't think anybody is worrying more about the safety of the intruder over the family. Of course the family is violated and should take every means to protect themselves.

Taking the intruder for a ride is not doing your best to protect yourself. The OP admitted that she didn't know what was "wrong" with the gal, just that she was incoherent. ANYTHING could have happened and it was a situation that law enforcement is better trained to handle.

The other question and this is certainly hypothetical because I do not know the OP or her personal situation, but perhaps the husband knows this gal somehow? I guess a little alarm rang in my head because I can't wrap my mind around the husband volunteering to take her for a ride. But as I said, this is conjecture.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

I agree, Pam, that "speaking truth with love" is a good thing--but that doesn't mean "speak it as though you are a doormat".


Oh, I don't imagine anyone who knows me would confuse me for a doormat. A doormat with those spikey things that wants to whoop upside somebody's head instead of lying flat in front of the door, maybe. Maybe *that* kind of doormat. But not the, you know, "walk on me, please" type of doormat.

My way seems to work for me. Anybody tries to walk on me, though, just needs to look down and read, "Back off, @$$&*(e!"

[Peek a Boo]

ouch, snickerdoodle, but that's a valid question and one that most of us wouldn't consider.
Not only did he take her for a ride, but stopped someone else from making a call to the police.
It's the stopping someone else from calling that frustrates me the most i think.
that's two alarm bells. I hope they call and make a report and keep it from being three.

[j.griff]

Those two bells are ringing LOUDLY in my ears. I just can't understand these actions, and my suspicious nature is strongly speaking to me about this. But, assuming positive intent, this could have turned out very badly for the dh.

[Kelli in TN]

What a scary situation, indeed! I am sorry you had to face that, and grateful no one in your family came to harm.



I know hindsight is 20/20, so please understand that I'm not admonishing you, but encouraging you to talk about these things with your sons and, in the future, not to hesitate to use the emergency resources we have at our disposal ~ for the good of all concerned. Peace to you.

Well said!

I am very glad that no harm has come from this situation. When I hear of things like this happening to people I stop and think it through for myself and think "what if?" It helps to think ahead what one would do.

But sometimes people just don't react correctly under duress. Like the time my 13 year old daughter stood in the living room talking to emergency personel while in the next room the kitchen fire had already engulfed the cabinets and had progressed to fully rolling flames.:eek:

Of course I praised her for all that she did right, and then made it clear that if the house is ever on fire again, CALL FROM THE NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE!!!!

[*anj*]

I understand, but my heart stopped when you said DH drove her home, alone. I would have called the cops. Not in this day and age. What a scary, strange morning for you! {{{ hugs}}}

I agree with that. Did your dh have a weapon of some kind? What if she had pulled a gun or knife out of her purse?
I know it's water under the bridge now, but when I read that your husband got in the car with her alone, by stomach went into knots.
I'm glad it worked out and that you're all okay.:cool:

[Peek a Boo]

dh mentioned another possible reason for not calling the police:
many families have "minor legal infractions" already [unregistered guns? unregistered homeschooling? drugs? warrant? etc] and might be too worried about being caught over THAT infraction that they refuse to call about something else.

But when it involves a stranger in your house and you dumping her somewhere, i still find it hard to swallow.

[Claire]

[QUOTE=Kelli in TN;33278]I am very glad that no harm has come from this situation. QUOTE]

The problem is that great harm could have come to the young woman after she was dropped off. Women in that condition are subject to abduction, rape and murder. The police would at least have taken her to a place of safety -- probably to a hospital for evaluation.

[Kelli in TN]

]

The problem is that great harm could have come to the young woman after she was dropped off. Women in that condition are subject to abduction, rape and murder. The police would at least have taken her to a place of safety -- probably to a hospital for evaluation.


I don't disagree, this unfortunate situation has given me a chance to reflect on what I should do if I ever find myself in a situation like this with a stranger.

[Anna]

That question went through my mind as well.

No way I'd allow a drugged out stranger in my car not knowing if they were armed or not, not knowing if they might vomit or urinate in the vehicle. This person could have easily been wanted on multiple felony warrants. Too bad the police didn't get a chance to do a background check on her to find out either way.

Ditto!!!

Don't ever put a stranger in your car, knowing that they are not acting right. She could have caused a car accident, she could have had a gun... who knows! Bringing her outside away from your kids and then calling police might be best, for future references.

Not meaning to sound like I'm fussing at you but after dh put her in the car, things could have gone very, very wrong. I pray she doesn't hurt anyone before police catch up with her.

[GothicGyrl]

Oh, I don't imagine anyone who knows me would confuse me for a doormat. A doormat with those spikey things that wants to whoop upside somebody's head instead of lying flat in front of the door, maybe. Maybe *that* kind of doormat. But not the, you know, "walk on me, please" type of doormat.

Would these be the Indiana Jones type spikes that bleed poison? :)

And to connect several posts in one: I am a VERY jealous person and even I did not think that maybe something was secretly going on. That just did not cross my mind.

My biggest gripe about this whole thing really is not so much that the DH drove her "home", or that this intruder came in to their's, but that he drove her home and left her alone without ever calling anyone! This is criminally culpable negligence and if anything happened to her, the Police would all up on your DH's rear end so fast you think you didn't have a chance to think now? Just wait. They would have torn him up--and he would have been innocent! But the damage would have severely been done.

Why risk that? Why ever risk that? Earlier, I recanted this story to DH and asked him what he would have done. In order:

Collected both girls and me and locked us in a room, grabbed a bat, grabbed the phone and called police. He would have attempted to make very small talk with the girl AFTER assessing that she really was no harm, but the police would be on the way if not barging in. He didn't even think twice about this, and I never told him anyone's answer. He just blurted it out.

And coming from DH, yes he would have done exactly that. He has a more level and cooler head than I do (duh!) and this is exactly how he would have handled it.

[HSMom2One]

I don't think anybody is worrying more about the safety of the intruder over the family. Of course the family is violated and should take every means to protect themselves.


Amen, Snickerdoodle. Thank you for that comment. The children always come first. I think most of us posting about this can't help but look at the situation from both sides. Tragedies strike so quickly, and so this is really a good opportunity for everyone to stop and think. For one thing, we need to evaluate how to handle emergency situations in the future.

For obvious reasons (per my previous post) I have a personal mission to advocate for the mentally ill whenever I have the opportunity. They are left at the bottom of the barrell and treated so inhumanely, left to wander in the streets when they need to be in a safe place. Most people either don't understand because of stigmas and ignorance or just plain apathy. Then the community is upset and angry when people act out in their illness. I'm not certain that this particular young woman is mentally ill, but she very well could be. Whatever the case it sounds like she needs intervention from professionals.

Okay, I'll get off my soap box. Thanks for the opportunity to share.

Blessings,
Lucinda

[j.griff]

Another possibility- my mother pointed out that diabetics sometimes seem to be drunk or drugged, when they are having sugar issues. She said that the police sometimes pull them over for drunk driving or arrest them for other drunken behavior only to find out later that it was a medical emergency.

[lynn]

After kids were out of potential harms way, the person was assessed harmless, police are called would you try to talk to the intruder, offer food, drink, blanket, coat? Keeping your guard up of course. Sorry it just has been bothering me all day that someone was thrown out in the cold without some basic needs being met. How about driving to a church, shelter, police station, something.

[Sharon in SC]

Linda,
I think I've read all the replies to date and would like to respond briefly with this:

First and foremost, I am so very thankful that you and your family are unharmed! I can only imagine how frightening this experience was for you.

Secondly, hindsight truly is 20/20. Those of us who have queried ourselves with, "What would I have done in the same situation" may very well have considered handling things differently had we been in your and your dh's shoes this morning but who can REALLY know except that we'd been there? (I do happen to fall into the camp of folks who found it unwise and unsafe for your dh to travel anywhere with this girl alone in his vehicle and, as a healthcare professional, I do imagine that I would have been VERY uncomfortable dropping someone so obviously in need anywhere other than somewhere equipped to HELP her.) However, that really is neither here nor there which brings me to my third thought....

The bottomline is, no matter how any of us feel we would have or you should have handled this situation, there's not one thing you can do about now. (Remember the prayer, Lord help me to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference?) The question for NOW is, "What can you do about it now?" You have no control over the past but, as with all of us, life is all about learning from our experiences and being strengthened to face the future.

Your son will benefit through your talks of what HE should have done differently. Maybe your family can benefit from talks of how the parents should have done differently. Past that, and more immediately, I would personally be asking myself, "Is there anything we could be doing NOW?" When faced with a decision, I always look for a good reason TO do something. Is there a GOOD reason to let this slide without alerting authorities, even now? Or, conversely, is there a GOOD reason TO call the authorities, even now? I believe the latter to be true for many of the reasons others have stated and more (your protection in the event something happens down the road on her end that could look poorly on you guys, her protection from further detriment - maybe she could get help and be rescued from whatever it is that left her in your home in the first place, etc, etc).

In any case, you do have a tremendous opportunity to teach some incredible life lessons to your children. What more powerful message to send your kids than, "None of us are perfect, we all make mistakes. What is important is what we do once we've realized the mistake." Show your kids how empowering it can be to do the right thing, even if (especially when), it's a little late in coming.

Many blessings to you and your family this day,
Sharon

[HSMom2One]

Well said, Sharon. WELL SAID!!

Blessings,
Lucinda

[Colleen]

You and I are basically saying the same thing, Sharon. You included something additional with which I agree: It's worth considering if the action is over now. I am one who would go ahead and contact authorities now and make mention of what took place. I can think of many good reasons for doing so.

Btw, what does "A fellow DIYer with Dy" mean? I didn't know the DIY in Dy's new handle had a meaning!:confused:

[Kelli in TN]

Many blessings to you and your family this day,
Sharon


Sharon,
You said this all so well!

[Sharon in SC]

Btw, what does "A fellow DIYer with Dy" mean? I didn't know the DIY in Dy's new handle had a meaning!:confused:

DIY - Do It Yourselfer :p

You know, we're the insane couple who is literally rebuilding a now 20yo old home from the inside doing 90% of the work OURSELVES! Laying tile, hardwood floors, tearing out walls, gutting one kitchen and two bathrooms, rebuilding the cabinets in each of those, etc, etc! It's been an incredible year and a half of Life Skills teaching for my girls! :D

Thanks for your post, Colleen. I did almost just say "ditto" under yours except that I decided I did have a few thoughts of my own to share...

Blessings,
Sharon

[Serendipity]

Is this for real?

I absolutely cannot imagine not calling 911. It would have been the first thing I would have done! I would never get into a car with a woman who was incoherent, and I certainly wouldn't want my husband to. Who knows what her medical condition could be, or what she might accuse someone else of doing. I am flabbergasted that he drove her somewhere and just let her out and left her there.

I'm glad your son is okay.

[Sharon in SC]

I recanted this story to DH and asked him what he would have done.

I, too, shared this incident with my dh as I was very interested to know what *he* thinks he might have done under the circumstances. One thing he knows for certain - he would have never gone anywhere alone with her in his car. (Shoot - he doesn't even permit but a very select few girfriends of our daughters here at the house if I'm not home just because, this day and time, you never know what fabrication someone is going to try to concoct about someone else.) He then remarked that nothing in the retelling of this incident leaves him feeling this girl was a threat so he may have been just as inclined to call an ambulance as the police. (Maybe that was the physician in him coming out?)

FWIW,
Sharon

[Peek a Boo]

Is this for real?


:-) based on the history of certain posters on the previous board, i considered that too [no offense intended to OP!].

BUT, I figgered that even if it wasn't real, the scenario was still worth deliberating and discussing -it certainly made ME aware of a few things i ordinarily wouldn't have thought of.

[GothicGyrl]

I, too, shared this incident with my dh as I was very interested to know what *he* thinks he might have done under the circumstances. One thing he knows for certain - he would have never gone anywhere alone with her in his car. (Shoot - he doesn't even permit but a very select few girfriends of our daughters here at the house if I'm not home just because, this day and time, you never know what fabrication someone is going to try to concoct about someone else.) He then remarked that nothing in the retelling of this incident leaves him feeling this girl was a threat so he may have been just as inclined to call an ambulance as the police. (Maybe that was the physician in him coming out?)

FWIW,
Sharon
My mom said the same Sharon, she's a retired nurse, so her response was "call 911, not just the police and request an ambulance because you never know".. and she's right. What if, in the time it took the cops to get her, the girl started OD'ing in my house??

I've seen an OD, it is NOT pretty, clean, or nice. In fact, they lose all bowel functions, puke or foam at the mouth and honestly, it is quite a bit more scary to see that than some stranger sitting at my table doing nothing but talking to herself.

[Mom2boys]

Thank you for the reminder to think twice about leaving my nearly 11 year old son home alone, even if just for a very short time, under what seem to be safe circumstances.

I'm glad your family is safe and sound tonight.

[Mom2GirlsTX]

Is this for real?

I'm glad your son is okay.

I'm truly glad your son is safe, but the whole story is rather shocking.

[Stacie]

Forgive me if this is completely off the mark, but the original post seems "off" for lack of a better word. The op claims on her profile to be a lawyer, but doesn't call the police in this situation, lets her dh place himself in such a compromising position, and finally doesn't acknowledge the mistake in judgement and call the police after the fact? She claims another current job in the profile, and finally claims a paper route in this post. :confused:

My suspicious nature is getting the best of me, but this story doesn't sit right with me. The breakdown points are way too many...

[Mom2GirlsTX]

Forgive me if this is completely off the mark, but the original post seems "off" for lack of a better word. The op claims on her profile to be a lawyer, but doesn't call the police in this situation, lets her dh place himself in such a compromising position, and finally doesn't acknowledge the mistake in judgement and call the police after the fact? She claims another current job in the profile, and finally claims a paper route in this post. :confused:

My suspicious nature is getting the best of me, but this story doesn't sit right with me. The breakdown points are way too many...

My suspicious nature is right there with you.

[*anj*]

Hmmm....I thought I smelled something too, but hadn't read the op's profile.
Ummm, maybe the girl in her kitchen was this person: http://www.justicenotblind.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/britney-spears-bald.jpg

[Scarlett]

I guess I've been hanging out with you all too long because I immediately looked at the 'number of posts'. Either way it is worth discussing what we would do in a similar situation.

[GothicGyrl]

Ya'll are way to conspiratory you know that? :)

I mean c'mon--I've got my Forensics degree (CSI), My nail techs license and cosmotology license (both lapsed though) and I'm working towards my teaching degree. I'm also an artist (for sale) and have worked with the police, in a hospital, in a nursing home(activities director), and am a part time Alien..


Ok, the last one is just kidding. But, putting aside the fact that we all KNOW I'm weird, would you question me if i said that?

I understand the part about being a former lawyer and not calling the cops--that is strange. But the rest of it doesn't squick me out because she's 53, raising two young boys and homeschooling them and I would think being a lawyer is not conducive to that environment as well as the fact that it is possible the transcription job is a work at home and the paper route is just extra money.

Now--I'm questioning why she hasn't made an appearance since the OP was posted. If it were me, I'd have stepped in here sooner to answer any questions that have been raised.

[Peek a Boo]

I'm w/ toni on the # of jobs --several different jobs doesn't botehr me.

She DID explain in her followup that SHE expected her dh to go to the police station, and was surprised when he didn't. She also said she wanted to phone the police anyway and her dh told her not to. I didn't read her profile about being a lawyer, but THAT's where i think the lawyer instinct would have kicked in, and am even more surprised that she let the incident go unreported. unless -as I mentioned earlier --there may be other circumstances making them wary of involving the authorities.

So she HAS made one appearance, but I'd like to see a current followup too. But it would certainly be easy enough to tell us all what we want to hear so we'll just shut up ;-)

[GothicGyrl]

Now that I think about this, I wonder if she realizes she could face disbarrment for not reporting this, should something happen to this girl (that is, if she's still barred)?

Don't they have to take a similar oath to Nurses, doctors, and first reporters(like of abuse)? One that states they'll report anything suspicious, no matter how small or face punishment?

It wouldn't be worth the risk losing my license to practice, for not reporting this.

[Colleen]

For what it's worth, Linda is viewing this thread as I type (for those of you wondering why she hasn't made another appearance). She is likely surprised at the array of replies and is deciding whether and how to answer. It's true that when we post here, we have be prepared for a varied reaction, but sometimes it can really take us off guard. I wouldn't blame Linda in the least if she's simply "taken off guard" right now.

I appreciate the fact that this story has some rather strange elements to it, but Linda posted on the previous boards ~ though not extensively ~ and is not merely a passerby. She does have history here. Further, she already explained that she thought her husband was going to handle this differently. Everything we are offering is in hindsight. I am sure that Linda has mulled this over through the day and will take into consideration our suggestions. I think we have to be careful of crossing the line from merely discussing the topic at hand to speculating wildly.

[j.griff]

The paper route was her sons' job, I believe.

[buddhabelly]

Now that I think about this, I wonder if she realizes she could face disbarrment for not reporting this, should something happen to this girl (that is, if she's still barred)?

Don't they have to take a similar oath to Nurses, doctors, and first reporters(like of abuse)? One that states they'll report anything suspicious, no matter how small or face punishment?

It wouldn't be worth the risk losing my license to practice, for not reporting this.

No, this is not one of the ethics rules that an attorney must follow.


buddhabelly

[Carol in Cal.]

But I see another point to this.

Why did the 11 YO let the woman in and put the dog out and so forth?

Because, regardless of instructions from his parents, it is really, really difficult to be inhospitable or say no to an adult. And this is especially true of someone of middle school/high school age. We really need to remember this.

If I had been he, at his age, I don't think I would have opened the door. But if the woman had seen me, I might have been embarrassed to ignore her. I might have opened the door. I would have known that it was against parental orders, but I might have done it anyway, because in the moment it would have been the least difficult of all of my difficult choices.

As much as I now would want to SCREAM "No, don't touch that door! Do not talk to that woman! Call 911 NOW!" I don't think that I would have done that as a child. And, I will not put my DD in the position of having to manage a situation like that.

(Not that you're wrong to have left your DS, but just that this is a funny age if you are not in a safe neighborhood to expect him to be that responsible.)

[Jeanne in MN]

For what it's worth, Linda is viewing this thread as I type (for those of you wondering why she hasn't made another appearance). She is likely surprised at the array of replies and is deciding whether and how to answer. It's true that when we post here, we have be prepared for a varied reaction, but sometimes it can really take us off guard. I wouldn't blame Linda in the least if she's simply "taken off guard" right now.



I'm often saddened when someone posts here about something and numerous people jump in with criticism and rough tones. Aren't a couple "shame on your dh" posts enough? Aren't a couple "you handled it poorly" posts enough? It happens enough on these boards that someone posts and wham-o they get nailed with umpteen people saying the same negative things.

I'd like to think I know what I'd do in the OP's position, but I can't honestly say how I'd handle it unless I've been there. I may think her dh could have made a better decision, but do we need to hit her over the head with it?

Please, please, please a little compassion goes a long way. There are lots of ways to say things and these are opportunities to show people care and compassion. We can be firm but kind without being rude and thoughtless.

Ok, hook arms with each other and sing it with me now! "Kum Ba Yah..." :D

[JWSJ]

My husband got her in his car and drove her across town, following directions she gave him. She got out of the car in a very bad neighborhood, and my husband just drove away. He said that she almost passed out in the car.

Being a male I can not think of any guy I know who would have reacted in the way your husband did.

Now, this woman knows where you live.
She knows someone might open the front door.
She's been in your house and car.
She has scared your children.
She's been alone with your husband.
And he dumped her on the street.

Now, she has everything she needs to accuse and destroy your family.

Sounds scary, and it should be.

[Queen_Zarga]

Umm...this is a thread from nearly 2 months ago. We don't really need to resurrect it, do we?

[Colleen]

Why is this conversation being resurrected almost two months later? I was wondering, when I saw it at the front page, if Linda had added some additional comment, but if she has, I'm missing it. I hope for her sake it's not all going to be rehashed, since she took quite a hit when she shared this story, :confused:

[summer]

wow!! That is very scarey!!! Next time, I would call the police to deal with this.