Update on dd and I's argument for those who responded below

[StaceyinLA]

Well, I officially *win* I guess because there are certainly plenty of you doing 5+ hours of school daily. She isn't in full agreement because she says that the people THEY talk to in our home school group don't really do that much school, even if their parents try to make people believe otherwise. She says the kids tell them how much they do or don't do, and that it isn't that many hours per day. Of course, I told her that I don't really care what other kids are doing. My kids have been getting away with doing things halfway for a while and that time has passed!

As far as location, her thing was that it might just be people in a certain place that did lots of school while others didn't, so I wanted to show her that there are people all over who do plenty of school. She still claims that the people here in Louisiana don't, and that lots of people say they are doing more than they really are (which I don't believe is the case here, but may be the case with the folks she's talking about because they are always trying to prove they are something they aren't).

Anyway, we are at a bit of a stalemate, but, of course, I win because she is going to do as much as I say anyway. ;-p I know I am not unreasonable. She has plenty of free time and has her time at work so I don't feel guilty about her having to get this schoolwork done!

[Catherine]

8:15-3:00 daily in class
average of 3 hours nightly on homework
30 mins practicing
2 hours 3-4 times a week sports practice
2 hours orchestra many weekends

But he prefers this to homeschooling! Go figure. For my 2 cents, I think your demands are more than reasonable.

[Michelle in MO]

some (but certainly not all) homeschoolers do what I would consider a "marginal" job, i.e., good enough to pass the GED, but not enough to continue on to college. Since my dd's are friends with some of these kids, it irks them sometimes that they have to do "so much more". Sometimes they also mistakenly fall into the trap of assuming that because they're homeschooled, they are by virtue of that fact doing so much better than their peers. I told them---don't bet on it! A year or two ago the valedictorian of our local h.s. went to MIT, so that's not a shabby accomplishment! So much depends on the motivation of the kids! I think it's difficult for some homeschooled kids to realize that the grass isn't always greener on the other side!

Anyway, I'm glad you did the poll, and it sounds like the results might have helped your dc see things a little bit differently.

[StaceyinLA]

a few years ago. My girls are 14, 16 and 18. Of course, I do have a little red-headed boy that is tagging along behind them (12), but it's neat to see your posts with your 3 girls spaced just like mine. What are the actual month differences in their ages? My first 2 are 26 months apart, and 2 and 3 are 19 months apart.

[Myrtle]

What does she want to do with the other 21 hours a day if not work?
Will the ratio of work to free time she is proposing approximate the level of discipline required of her as an independent adult while financially supporting herself or what will be required of her as a student in college?

As we progress through our children's education we try to move them steadily closer to the adult expectations.

So for example, at the age of 18 my child should not be shocked when he's required to spend 3 hours in class, 6 hours studying, and a few hours of flipping burgers each day, only to come home (back to the dorm, apartment) to wash a load of laundry, grocery shopping, before getting online or partying. That loosely represents an average day in my first semester at college. I had no transitioning issues with that because up to that point I was in high school seven hours a day, had homework, and worked a part time job.

If a young person is unaccustomed to having to force themselves to concentrate on a string of assignments when they'd rather watch tv or talk on the phone, I would worry that they don't have the discipline it takes to make it through college...or for that matter to compete in the work place with peers who are willing to work 10 and 12 hour days and some weekends.

When our oldest son complains about working or studying too much, this is the justification and lecture we give him.

[Kris]

The state of Missouri requires 1,000 hours a year. That works out to four hours a day for 50 weeks. That's the minimum and we could *legally* get by with that, but I really don't think we could meet our goals doing just the minimum.