Have you read "Boys Should Be Boys" by Meg Meeker?

[daisychics]

I'm actually listening to it on audio book (iTunes). Dh and I started listening to it last night for an hour. It hits home for me, for the most part. Definitely, different from other books I've read. Don't know if I can recommend it, because I haven't finished it yet. But, I would love to hear opinions on it from others that have read it.

Dh agrees with everything so far.... always giving me the look. I do "baby" my boy alot and I am a helicopter mom (always hovering). :glare: I really have to let him BE a boy.

Can't wait to hear from you all.

http://www.amazon.com/Boys-Should-Be-Secrets-Raising/dp/1596980575/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1214914099&sr=8-1

[daisychics]

just one bump. :D

[abreakfromlife]

I haven't', but it sounds good. I really think it's important for moms to really understand boys and to let them be boys. The best book I've read so far, is Why Gender Matters (http://www.amazon.com/Why-Gender-Matters-Teachers-Differences/dp/0767916255/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1214921929&sr=8-1) He has another book out I want to read about boys, too. It has changed the way I treat my boys, and I can look back at how my mom dealt with my brother, and I'm so thankful I won't do the same thing.

Males actually see differently - they have a wider peripheral vision (which is why it is easier for them to be better drivers!!)....they actually hear differently - they hear on a different wavelength than females, and they do start losing their hearing sooner - so in middle age when your dh can't hear as well and we all joke about it - he probably really can't!

The biggest thing for me was really learning and understanding their single-mindedness and how they only focus on one thing. So when my ds is playing or working on something, if I call his name from across the room, he will not hear me. He's not ignoring me - he really doesn't hear me. This is where my poor brother used to get in trouble all the time for ignoring my mom. But if I get up and walk over to him, and just touch him on the shoulder to get his attention, then he will see and hear me. Then he can choose to ignore me :lol:

Another good one is For Women Only (http://www.amazon.com/Women-Only-about-Inner-Lives/dp/1590523172/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1214922194&sr=1-1)





that's also one big reason I'm definitely homeschooling the boys all the way through. The classroom and school setting is designed for girls, and I dont' want to put my boys through that (non) learning environment. The author of Why Gender Matters is really big on single-sex education.

[daisychics]

Thank you Sally!

I'm heading out to the library, I hope they have some of the books you recommended. I really HAVE to understand my boy.

[Unicorn]

Males actually see differently - they have a wider peripheral vision (which is why it is easier for them to be better drivers!!).....

Actually, according to statistics, men are not better drivers. Women are. That's why a male's car insurance doesn't go down until he turns 25, and a female's goes down at 21. :)

I'm just say'in

[Cafelattee]

he also mention the one tract mind and you needing to touch them to get there attention.I am a much better driver than my dh.* I can multi task while driving and can drive with music going, talking on the cell phone and the 2 boys talking.It drives me crazy when he drives we all have to be quiet like church.* He can't handle any distractions.* He is always telling the boys to be quiet. I hate riding any where with him.* The not so good is I tend to drive faster and have a few speeding tickets.* He has never had a ticket.

[Old Dominion Heather]

I agree... Why Gender Matters is enlightening. It is the best "boy book" I have read.

[daisychics]

I agree... Why Gender Matters is enlightening. It is the best "boy book" I have read.


Just curious, what did you realize about your boys? :bigear: Are all three (on your sig) boys? I thought I already knew what I was doing, but I don't. He turned 7 and then all of a sudden ...BAM. don't know.

I just put "Why Gender Matters" on hold at the library. I might just buy it tonite on amazon. THAT's how important this is to me right now.

TIA :D

[Blossom'sGirl]

about 90% of the dangerous and ,yes, less than brilliant things you see on America's Funniest Home Videos involves either boys or men (grown up boys). Right now I think all of my boys are in the little crick behind our house trying to skip rocks. I know that if I walk over and look they will be whipping them just past each others head. I can't watch and can only warn so much. I try very hard to let them do things but it is really hard not to hover. I had several brothers who did some really crazy things which scares me to death when I think of my 4 sweeties getting bigger.

I am going to see if the library has this.

[Sharon H in IL]

Go to Andrew Pudewa's website and buy his lecture on "Teaching Boys and Other Children Who Would Rather Build Forts All Day."

https://www.excellenceinwriting.com/index.php?q=product/teaching-boys-amp-other-children-who-would-rather-make-forts-all-day

His lecture is -- hands down -- the best information on teaching boys I've ever heard.

Some ideas I gleaned from Pudewa:
*All of these are generalizations, and necessarily limited*
- boys need movement to keep their lower brains busy so their higher brains can learn
- boys don't mind small noises (pencil tapping, foot bumping walls, creaky hinges) of the sort that drive girls and women nuts and prevent us from concentrating
- boys prefer a cooler temperature for classrooms
- boys hear a smaller range of sound than girls do
- boys concentrate more deeply on one thing at a time
- boys tolerate and even enjoy a much louder, tougher teacher approach than girls do. A girl might be in tears at a loud teacher's correction, whereas a boy might finally "get" the correction when softer, calmer approaches did nothing.
- boys thrive on competition
- male bullies are physically powerful, but socially maladroit. (Female bullies are social powerhouses -- see "Queen Bees and Wanabes")

[abreakfromlife]

Just curious, what did you realize about your boys? I know I already answered :D but Michelle's post reminded me of something else. I had been bound and determined that my boys would never play football b/c it's ssooooo dangerous :tongue_smilie: But that book got me to change my perspective about it. He talks about how parents will let a group of boys go out and hang out outside with their bikes, skateboards, etc, with no supervision, but won't let them play football where there is a coach and padding. The chances of serious injury are a lot greater in the group of boys b/c they'll challenge each other to do stupid stuff, whereas in a controlled environment with a trained coach and padding - the chances of injury is a lot lower. So I probably won't encourage my boys to play football :lol: but if they have an interest in it, I won't say no.

[Danestress]

about 90% of the dangerous and ,yes, less than brilliant things you see on America's Funniest Home Videos involves either boys or men (grown up boys).

That made me smile:) I've never watched the show, but I'm pretty sure that would be accurate. My boys have done some pretty hilarious things.

That said, if you have two pre-schoolers down playing near the water, I don't think you should let anyone make you feel bad about going and sitting nearby and keeping an eye on things. I know I would. I don't consider myself a "hoverer" at all, and in fact sometimes DH gets annoyed because he thinks I am too .... permissive? But I would probably be hanging out in the near area if my preschoolers were playing near water. I don't think that will make sissies of them:)

[daisychics]

Go to Andrew Pudewa's website and buy his lecture on "Teaching Boys and Other Children Who Would Rather Build Forts All Day."

https://www.excellenceinwriting.com/index.php?q=product/teaching-boys-amp-other-children-who-would-rather-make-forts-all-day

His lecture is -- hands down -- the best information on teaching boys I've ever heard.

Some ideas I gleaned from Pudewa:
*All of these are generalizations, and necessarily limited*
- boys need movement to keep their lower brains busy so their higher brains can learn
- boys don't mind small noises (pencil tapping, foot bumping walls, creaky hinges) of the sort that drive girls and women nuts and prevent us from concentrating
- boys prefer a cooler temperature for classrooms
- boys hear a smaller range of sound than girls do
- boys concentrate more deeply on one thing at a time
- boys tolerate and even enjoy a much louder, tougher teacher approach than girls do. A girl might be in tears at a loud teacher's correction, whereas a boy might finally "get" the correction when softer, calmer approaches did nothing.
- boys thrive on competition
- male bullies are physically powerful, but socially maladroit. (Female bullies are social powerhouses -- see "Queen Bees and Wanabes")

Just bought it. THANKS :bigear:

[LizzyBee]

We only have girls, so I haven't read that book. However, my dh is reading Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by the same author and he says it's very good.

[my4cowboys]

Another good "boy-mom" book is "Boys Adrift." Can't remember the author right now, but it's very thought-provoking.

I have 4 boys, ages 5-10, so I read a lot of these kinds of books!

[kalanamak]

Having been a tomboy and still feeling more like "one of the boys" than "one of the girls", I'm really happy my folks not only let boys be boys, but let me be one, too.
When kiddo was born, Mama gave only two pieces of advice. One was that "they are all different".

[Lucy in Australia]

The posts in this thread remind me of an article I read in one of our newspapers (I knew I should have copied and kept it:glare:). The male author was talking about raising boys. One point that really stuck in my mind was that we are too protective of young boys. They don't learn about boundaries, limits and risk-taking. So this means that when they get their first real taste of "freedom", which usually happens when they start driving, they are kind of clueless about risky behaviour, and balancing being careful with taking "safe" risks. They have a heady sense of being free and in charge, and get into awful messes. He said it much better than I have, but you get the general idea.

One book I read when my first son was born was "The war against boys : how misguided feminism is harming our young men" by Christina Hoff Sommers. I didn't agree with her 100% on everything, but it was a helpful book.

[Angela in TN]

My dh bought this for us to read and it's sitting on the table right now. :)

[Heather in the Kootenays]

Ds was different from the start - much more adventurous and braver about trying new things. What really struck me though is how early he became attracted to big machines and fast motorbikes - 2 yo as I recall. Since dh works with a computer, he wasn't modeling after him. It was pure instinct. Tractors are good - and bigger tractors are better. Amazing to me. :confused:

[Rosie_0801]

We're crossing our fingers this one will be a boy, then I'll get stuck into all these books you are talking about! I do remember getting a book from the library at random (as you do) on teenage girls. I was shocked to find how many things I'd forgotten, serious issues too. Being a girl doesn't mean I really do know all about being one, I guess.
Rosie- noting down all these recommended boy books, just in case!!