Anyone have kids who do a bit of modeling?

[astrid]

I ran into an old friend tonight. In the course of chatting, she mentioned that she was going to Hawaii in a few weeks with her dd(14) who has a modeling contract with Kohl's (she is in a lot of the flyers.....in this week's flyer, she's on pg. 8!) and also does some work for American Eagle Outfitters. She's always been after me to get my dd in to see an agent, but I've never really taken her seriously. But as college looms closer, I just might consider a few print ads to help supplement the college fund!

So, do any of you have any experience here? How ugly is the business? Dd has a lot of acting experience, and has kind of an "all-America" look (well, she looks just like the "Molly" American Girl Doll) but I"m wondering if this just isn't a can of worms I want to open. Dd is all for the idea, of course! However, if this is just a horrible, ugly business, I don't want to get involved. Is there some kind of clearing house for find a reputable agent? Or is it "enter at your own risk?"

Advice? BT, DT ?

Astrid

[Jenny in Atl]

:lurk5:

Mine wants to do this.... and I'm very unsure. I'm Looking forward to hearing any replies!

[mittmaman]

...obviously this is just my (very strong) opinion;).

I started modeling at 14, quite successfully, for about 10 years and even though I came out relatively "undamaged" I would NEVER allow my dds (or ds for that matter) to do the same.

The very, very best you can hope for, if your kids go that way, is that they are going to come out of this experience, without it leaving too many scars.
I have very strong feeling about there not being ANYTHING good to gain.

The environment in which they will be moving is profoundly unhealthy (increasingly with age...), artificial and downright dangerous in many cases.

Even for younger kids, where the sexual component might not, yet, be very present, I believe that the experience of gaining quick money with your looks alone is something I don't want my kids to develop a taste for...:tongue_smilie:

And, to adress the money issue: yes, there is a lot of money in this business!
But, frankly, the price you pay is high...far too high in my opinion: You are putting your kids at risk beyond what you can imagine. And I am not (mainly) talking about the evident part (which, particularly for younger children can be controlled, to a great extend), but rather the "invisible" -being influenced by this environment, which could hardly be any different than a healthy value system!

Again, I am not an example of this experience turning into a desaster...and I bet that to the outsider my life during and after modeling seems "perfect"...
But, believe me, reality is different and I so wish not having lived what I have lived in this world!
And, fwiw, my parents', who's main concern was that I keep top grades (which I did), regret deeply having me allowed to follow this path...because they know me well enough, to realize that there WAS an impact, without which my life would have been that much easier...less shaken...more peaceful...

HTH! Good Luck with your decision!

[Pencil Pusher]

My main concern would be that w/ all the retakes, repositioning, etc., dc might come away w/ a lower self-image than if they'd never done it. Kwim?

[astrid]

Knowing my friend as I do, I'd be very surprised if she'd allow any unpleasantness to be a part of her daughter's universe. So those are the "cons." Any "pros?"

Thanks for your heartfelt reply, Doran! I so appreciate your honesty! :grouphug:

[strider]

In her case, they wrote ten (yes, 10) extra clauses into her contract both to protect her and to ensure that she could stop modeling if need be (as opposed to having to finish the time period stated in the contract). Some of those clauses are things like only allowing this child's mother to change her clothes privately, or that the mother has to be present with the child at all times. My friend has to be hyper-vigilant, because the norm in the industry is otherwise. Children are routinely expected to be left alone with complete strangers for a photo shoot, for example. It is a difficult industry, and a difficult environment, and my friend is clear that the only way to do this well is to be hypervigilant and to make sure that protections are written into the contract. You also have to be willing to be the "weird mom" or the "smother mother"--this can be a difficult role to manage, but is absolutely essential.

The two factors that make it worthwhile for my friend are that her daughter really enjoys it (she has always been a ham for the camera) and that, as long as her dd enjoys it, this will provide for her college education. My friend walks through this on "borrowed time" in a sense, knowing that when it stops being enjoyable they will stop doing it. Period. No matter how much money they are offered.

It is hard to get into the industry, and if you do get into it, it does take over your life and require a lot of time. A LOT of time. It's not something to start doing because "it might be nice" or "the money could help and she enjoys it." It's a lifestyle that will impact your whole family. A good analogy might be to think of how a sport takes over your life--the practices, the games. Modeling is like that, but the time commitment can be even higher.

[Carol in Cal.]

I know someone quite well who encouraged her DD to model during her junior high and high school years. For that girl, it was a disaster. She got taught to be very glamorous at a young age. She was flattered to the point of idiocy and grew to crave this input and base her selfworth on it. She was around a lot of substance abuse that she participated in, and became S.A. while drunk at age 14.

They kept being told that they had to invest so that she could have a career, and it was expensive and compromising. She was 'leaned on' enough to take nude pictures (in bubble bath) at about age 16. She had a lot of 'partners' who flattered her and had very shall we say mature expectations of her. She went overseas by herself at 17 and had some hair-raising times there, and then ended up not having much of a career. While this was all going on, her mom said that she had to work to pay for her special auditioning clothes and hair and make up, and also that she didn't have time to attend high school, so she signed her up for an independent study program. The mom never supervised her studies or progress, and during what should have been her senior year when she told her advisor that she wanted to finish up in June, he told her that she still had 2+ years of requirements to fulfil, and that she would be lucky to ever graduate because she had taken no lab or foreign language classes. She dropped out of school and didn't get her GED for several years.

I still think about this for my DD from time to time, because I believe that if I just monitored the situation closely and never allowed a photo shoot for which I was not physically present, she would be safe and well. But the values are both bad and seductive, and so I always end up saying, "I don't think so."

[hillfarm]

Anyone considering this should be sure to find a reputable agent. I knew a couple of families down south who signed their daughters up with agencies that seemed to focus on expenses for the parents and provided very little return in the way of decent jobs for the kids.

I am more familiar with video/film than print, but I would urge extreme caution. This is an industry known to swallow many adults whole. It destroys normal lifestyles and feeds insecurity and neuroses. It tends to bring out the worst in a lot of people. Is that really a place you want your child to be?