Let me bounce something off you, please.

[Colleen]

This isn't of vital importance, buts it's making me feel "squishy" and I'm curious how others would respond. Last weekend my husband and I were supposed to go to our favorite inn for our anniversary. This is an absolutely incredible spot that's off the beaten path yet in high demand. They are the creme de la creme in service and have received national and even international press. In other words, it's difficult to get a spot there (there are only six rooms) and they justifiably ask that you give them notice if you can't make it. This has never been issue for us in the past since we always went as planned.

Well, our plans didn't work out this time but thanks to our fantabulous communication, we each thought the other had phoned the inn and let them know. This is entirely our fault, no question. We really didn't talk about it and each of just assumed the other had dealt with it. Saturday M (the innkeeper) phoned and left a message, asking after us. Hans phoned back some time later but no one answered, so he left a message apologizing and saying we weren't going to be there. I am aware of the cancellation policy and expected to be charged for both nights. A definite hit in the pocketbook ~ not to mention feeling like idiots.

Okay. So yesterday we get mail from the inn. It included all the paperwork that would have been waiting for us upon arrival (a welcome note that sits on the bed; a note they'd left in the foyer late Friday night, when we hadn't yet arrived)...clearly, there was no need to send us those notes now. Also included was the charge receipt for one night's stay and a very curt note from the innkeeper. Now, again, I take full blame for how this played out, but keep in mind we've gone there many times so it isn't as if we intentionally tried to pull a fast one or anything. The note basically said:

"It's too bad you didn't call to cancel. We turned away many people through the week who would have loved to have your room. In 22 years of innkeeping, this is the first time that returning guests didn't show up or even call. You can pay for one night and we'll take the loss on the second."

While I completely understand how frustrating this must be for an innkeeper (although by his own admission it's the first time he's dealt with it), I am taken aback by his tone. I certainly don't want to have them acting like they're doing us a favor by "taking the loss" for one night. I would rather just pay for it all myself and not feel patronized by them, which is how I feel now thanks to his tone. I feel uncomfortable even making another reservation, as if they don't want us there any more, although as I said we've been many times.

Do you think his note was appropriate? Would you call and offer to pay for the second night or just let it go? Would you feel uncomfortable about going back there, or is it just me? This is my absolute favorite getaway destination ~ nothing else holds a candle for me ~ so I want to get past the squishy feelings.

[GothicGyrl]

I'd go in person and speak to him. I'd tell him his tone was unacceptable for a returning customer who frequents this place. I'd also tell him that "you know, beep happens" (although you might have a word for that beep) and explain that DH and I just didn't communicate like we usually do and because it truly was an accident, your letter--the tone, really hurt. I'd also tell him that the tone in his letter really makes me feel like I am no longer welcome.

If he acts put out or doesn't care, I'd honestly find a new place, Colleen. An accident is just that. If he can't forgive an accident that has never happened before with you, an honest mistake, why would you want to patronize that kind of place?

[Kelli in TN]

I might just send payment for the two nights and polite but short note of apology.

His tone seems kind of rude, but I guess when your business so very desirable you get to get away with that sort of thing.

What do I know? I spent my anniversary in a small town full of intimate bed and breakfasts and yet where did my husband choose for us to stay? A motel something or other right off the interstate, of course.

We agree to disagree on what makes good lodging!!

[snickelfritz]

I would call and offer to pay for the second night. Then, you can at least explain what happened. If they STILL acted snobby, I don't know if I would feel comfortable going back.

I can kind of understand the need to make a point about the missed reservation or they would get walked all over. They probably could have done a nicer note with the package they sent you and still got their point across.

[PariSarah]

Hm. Does sound a little patronizing. I hate those "this is the first time in all my years of doing this" comments. I don't know that I'd be bothered by it overall, though, just because it's SOP for the places we used to go to in France. "We'll gush all over you, s'long's you do things our way." (Did I ever tell you about the place that wouldn't sell ham to my friend b/c she was going to serve it with cantaloupe? )

But then again, it may be an olive branch--"Hey, we know you're a repeat guest, so we're [gulp] gonna cut you some slack. But, you're, like, not going to do this all the time, [puppy dog look] are you?"

There you go. Picture him saying it with a puppy dog look on his face, rather than a you've been called into the principal's office look on his face. Does that help with the squishies?

[StacyWithFourRugrats]

but I didn't see the note being too "curt" really. It stated the facts blandly, yes. But if you put yourself in their position, with a regular customer, how do you let them know you were disappointed in the lack of cancellation while knowing the the probability of the customer returning is high. All the time you need the customer to understand that this can't happen again. It is a sharp edge to walk upon really.

Regardless of how popular the inn is, the fact that there is only 6 rooms definately puts a ceiling on the profit. The fact that they are only charging you for one night (even if they mentioned they will "take a loss" on the second night - which I think is not so subtly implying they could have filled the room) shows that they are trying to ensure you will return.

I would probably write a nice note back letting them know how sincerely sorry you are that you forgot to cancel and that it was a miscommunication with your husband. Suggest to them that they can charge you for both nights and you fully expected them too. Better yet, maybe call and say these things.

Again, this is just the way I read it and I don't know the attitude in general of the Innkeepers. I can think of many, many ways they could have been down right rude in the letter. The least of which would have been to say to you that you would not be welcome back. There is really no need for them to allow you to return in essence, since they can always fill up the rooms.

I imagine the "squishy" factor will probably go away once you speak with them. If you feel after speaking with them that they are still very "curt" with you, then I would either suggest not returning or maybe give it some time. Time heals most wounds anyways :)

Hope this helps!

[jmgconner]

I'd write a note back, apologizing for the miscommunication. Let the innkeeper know how much you adore his inn and that you can't possibly put him in a situation to take a loss because of your mistake. Send a check for both nights. Let him know that you look forward to staying at the inn in the future, especially since you were looking forward to this past weekend and ended up having to cancel.

Was his note a bit short and curt? Yes. But give him the benefit of the doubt - I'm not near the writer that I'd like to be and sometimes when I write things down they don't come across the way I intended.

[Colleen]

Thanks for your reply, Toni. If it didn't involve driving several hours, I'd be willing to go speak to him in person. I am torn here. On the one hand, since I love this place so much, I want to swallow my pride, apologize again, offer to pay for the second night, and calm any ruffled feathers on his part. On the other, I don't think guests who pay a pretty penny should feel the need to "earn" the innkeeper's forgiveness, kwim? Frustrating ~ and even moreso since ultimately we're the ones to blame. But good grief, "In 22 years of innkeeping you're the first ones to do this." I don't even know if I believe that, to be honest.

[Lisa at Home]

But take into consideration that whatever path I took along these lines would most likely be the wrong one, and cause more trouble.:o Also take note, that my dh would do the opposite of my choice and everything would be just peachy.

I personally, *would* want to pay for the second night. I guess because somewhere down inside me it would make me feel justified, even if it was an honest mistake. (Dh would just shrug it off as their loss and go on. He's great at forgivenes, too)

And how odd it is that he sent those notes. Very strange, indeed. Really, things happen. I can't believe that *never* in the history of the place was there *never* a failure of human communication. It doesn't seem possible.

Yes, I would feel uncomfortable going back, but maybe that's not a good enough reason not to go back. Sometimes you just have to get past an uncomfortable situation and then things can be ok again. But you'll never know until you do. Then again, who knows, maybe this is a good opportunity to discover a *new* favorite spot.

Too bad your plans didn't work out.

Situations don't create problems, they reveal them.

~Lisa

[Julpost]

Well, he's understandably upset. I'd call or talk to them in person, apologize, and offer to pay for the second room if you want to. But I think it would help tremendously if he heard from you in person, and you just explained what happened. There's something about when a person takes the time to communicate with the offended party that I think takes the 'sting' out of the offense. It's understandable what happened to you and it's also understandable that he's upset but what happened isn't unforgiveable or anything.

I would do whatever it takes to show him that you appreciate their business and you're truly sorry. It sounds like a wonderful place and I don't think the tone of the note was really all that bad. He's just upset, that's all. Agreeing with him that it shouldn't have happened and you feel about it the same way he does will go far, I'm sure.

BTW, I'm having a hard time getting out the right words in this post so please just read the spirit of it. I have a baby and toddler that have stolen any intelligence left in me and I have nothing left but a huge desire to be left alone to sleep and munch on popcorn! :-)

Good luck!

[Tammy]

and speak to them personally. I would be very, very nice...and say something like this in humorous way....."Oh Mrs. Whatever....I am so sorry for not calling and cancelling our weekend...as my husband thought I had called and I thought my husband had called. We have SO enjoyed the weekends we have stayed here....and when we received this packet in the mail...well....we didn't want to not be welcomed to coming back due to our mixup. We will gladly pay both nights as this was totally our fault."

Put the ball in their court....make them feel bad for sending you that note....

That is what I would do.....imagine that....I would be really nice, LOL!

Tammy

[Colleen]

His tone seems kind of rude, but I guess when your business so very desirable you get to get away with that sort of thing.

Yes, it's not as if a place in high demand has to go begging for guests.

I spent my anniversary in a small town full of intimate bed and breakfasts and yet where did my husband choose for us to stay? A motel something or other right off the interstate, of course.

Oy vey! Glad you have a good attitude about it. You're a gem.:)

[PrairieAir]

Did he include any smilies? Probably not:) I read it several times and I think that you can read it with several different tones. Perhaps he is concerned that since you are returning guests, your last visit was less than satisfactory or that you won't be returning guests in the future. That would put him on the defensive a bit (maybe why he mentioned it's never happened before) and offering to just eat the cost of the second night may be his way of trying to get you to come back. Including the note that was left for you Friday night may be his way of saying, "See? We were really concerned about you!" It's just too hard to tell. If I liked the place, I would call again and apologize and let them know that you were prepared to pay for both nights since it was your fault you forgot to cancel. If the reception was chilly for the phone call or the next stay, I wouldn't go back.

[Colleen]

...that we realize it was unacceptable. Thanks for your input!

[Kelli in TN]

Did he include any smilies? Probably not:) I read it several times and I think that you can read it with several different tones. .


See, if we all just use smilies all the time the world would be a better place.

Imagine that letter with a smilie. :)

[Colleen]

I always prefer to speak to people personally since writing and even phone conversations can lose something in translation. This place is not just a short drive away, though, so I am going to have to forego the face-to-face communication for now. Thanks for replying; I appreciate your thoughts!

[Happy]

I do think his note is rude. Wouldn't it have been different if he had said we were so worried, you are so reliable....we were afraid there had been an accident? Sending you all the paperwork was a slam, imho.

I wouldn't apologize any more. I would send payment for the second night and a note detailing how disappointed you were to miss the opportunity to stay there AGAIN because as a *repeat* customer you obviously love the place. I would also offer the a few gentle comments on how sad the rude note made you feel and that because of that rudeness you feel uncomfortable returning. I would be gentle, but firm. Asked to be wooed back. ;)

I agree you should not have to 'earn' the forgiveness of the innkeeper. He is there to make YOUR dreams come true. In return, he makes a lovely profit and gets to operate a desirable and profitable business.

[Sweetpeach]

IMO, that letter seems like the owner was discouraged (almost hurt feelings) because you are frequent clients; you have been there many times; he probably feels like he knows you better than the other one-timers and therefore, wants you to know that your no-show bothered him, maybe more than other people not phoning.

I would completely suck it back, phone this man and apologize and listen to him be discouraged with you. I think the snotty tone means he wants validation that you did indeed, drop the ball by not phoning. I might even send a card reiterating the chaos of the days heading into that weekend and repeat how much you enjoy his spot.

Once you've done the "ask forgiveness thing" you can let it be. The ball is back in his court.

That's how I would navigate this situation, but I'm a peace-maker, especially over these sorts of moments.

[Mekanamom]

Well... I'd be very uncomfortable.

This is on a much smaller scale, but I used to go to one of those make-ahead dinner places, you know, like Dream Dinners. It was small, and the owner worked there, and we would chat while I assembled my dinners. I used to go in regularly, but in the summer when my garden was producing, I used my own produce for dinners and didn't go back for a while.

The owner was nice, but I got sort of the same tone from her when I did go back. Like they were counting on me, and I let them down or something.

I decided I'd be too uncomfortable going regularly again, and haven't been back since.

Sure, I can see that it's different with reservations and cancellations, but the tone is the same, and they went out of their way to make you feel chastised. Hmm. I would feel very uncomfortable about that. Others might take it as part of the individuality of the place and blow it off. I guess it's how you feel about it that either makes it a big deal or not.

I dunno, I'm snarky enough to be tempted to send back all that paperwork with the fee for the first and second night and also the money for the stamp they used to send their lovely note to you in the first place. But that wouldn't make it better... unless the inkeeper would find it funny and laugh about it.

[Colleen]

I personally, *would* want to pay for the second night. I guess because somewhere down inside me it would make me feel justified, even if it was an honest mistake.

That's how I feel. I would rather take the loss myself than have them holding it over our heads, which is how I feel now because of his wording. If he would have written: "You can pay for the first night and we'll take the second" that would be different. But he made a point of writing "we'll take the loss".

And how odd it is that he sent those notes. Very strange, indeed. Really, things happen. I can't believe that *never* in the history of the place was there *never* a failure of human communication. It doesn't seem possible.

Yeah, I have to wonder if this is really the first time in 22 years, but...Including those notes served no good purpose other than to silently say, "See? We were expecting you! And you didn't show up!" I mean, why the heck would I need to see those notes? That part is really weird to me.

Thanks for your input!

[LG Gone Wild]

That is to acknowledge your mistake without groveling and accepting his rudeness. I wouldn't offer to pay other than what is in the cancellation policy. You guys already called and apologize. If they didn't get your message, how is that your fault? If they did get your message, well...well.

If you can't visit, you must call the innkeeper. You might be able to clear the air with the him over the phone. Otherwise this bad feeling from his letter will hamper any future enjoyment you may have at this inn. In fact, you just might not go again. It would be very hard not to hold a grudge.


Thanks for your reply, Toni. If it didn't involve driving several hours, I'd be willing to go speak to him in person. I am torn here. On the one hand, since I love this place so much, I want to swallow my pride, apologize again, offer to pay for the second night, and calm any ruffled feathers on his part. On the other, I don't think guests who pay a pretty penny should feel the need to "earn" the innkeeper's forgiveness, kwim? Frustrating ~ and even moreso since ultimately we're the ones to blame. But good grief, "In 22 years of innkeeping you're the first ones to do this." I don't even know if I believe that, to be honest.

[j.griff]

I think that they may have found someone else to take the room for the second night, since they are in such high demand, and perhaps that is why they are "offering to take the loss". I'd still pay for it though.

[Colleen]

That is to acknowledge your mistake without groveling and accepting his rudeness. I wouldn't offer to pay other than what is in the cancellation policy.

One reason I'm vacillating on this is because my "pride" is such that I would rather take the loss than have someone else take it and remind me of it, as he did. And as I said, I did plan to just pay for both nights because I assumed that was the policy. But just now I went back and read the cancellation policy and realized it's not clear on how they'd handle something like this. It reads:

"Your deposit will be cheerfully refunded it your cancellation is made 10 days prior to your stay. If a cancellation is necessary within the 10 day limit, we will make every attempt to rebook you suite for you. Your deposit will be promptly returned if your suite is rebooked."

The way I read this, the deposit (which is one night's stay) is refunded if you call and rebook. If you can't rebook, the deposit (one night's stay) isn't refunded. Which is just what happened with us, e.g. he isn't doing us a favor per se by not charging us for that second night; that's the policy (I think?).

Any-hoo, doesn't really matter. I want to at least offer to pay for that second night ~ in part because I'm interested whether or not he'll accept my offer.

[Colleen]

I would call and offer to pay for the second night. Then, you can at least explain what happened. If they STILL acted snobby, I don't know if I would feel comfortable going back.

I have this nagging fear that I'm going to get admonished when I call, e.g. reminded again (after being reminded in the note) how wrong it was to no show. That would make it really hard to go back. Of course, I'll not know how they'll respond until I call. I just...feel like a kid going to principal's office.:o

[Colleen]

It's true that it can be read in more ways than one. I honestly don't think he's worried about us not coming back, though, because it's so popular this just is not an issue for them. I will have to post again after I call and let y'all know how the conversation unfolded!

[Colleen]

Well... I'd be very uncomfortable...they went out of their way to make you feel chastised.

That's exactly how I feel. We all handle things differently and hindsight is 20/20, of course, but when I saw that envelope from the inn yesterday, this is what I expected: A credit card receipt with a "smiley"-toned note saying something to the effect of, "Sorry it didn't work out for you last weekend. If your plans fall through next time, try to give us a ring ahead of time. Look forward to seeing you again soon!" But this guy isn't really a "warm-fuzzy" type, so that was probably expecting too much. Still, his approach was definitely at the opposite end of the spectrum!

I'm snarky enough to be tempted to send back all that paperwork with the fee for the first and second night and also the money for the stamp they used to send their lovely note to you in the first place. But that wouldn't make it better....

Hehehe...that was my first impulse.:p That's really why I'm hashing it out here; I don't want to regret reacting defensively, kwim?

[Tammy]

aren't the same as they used to be, LOL! I think they were rude because they 'can' be rude...KWIM? They don't have to worry about people not coming back...because they have people waiting....Something in that note tells me they think they are doing 'you' a favor by letting you stay there, LOL!

Do you think they even knew you had been there before?

Tammy

[Jackie in AR]

"Your deposit will be cheerfully refunded it your cancellation is made 10 days prior to your stay. If a cancellation is necessary within the 10 day limit, we will make every attempt to rebook you suite for you. Your deposit will be promptly returned if your suite is rebooked."

The way I read this, the deposit (which is one night's stay) is refunded if you call and rebook. If you can't rebook, the deposit (one night's stay) isn't refunded. Which is just what happened with us, e.g. he isn't doing us a favor per se by not charging us for that second night; that's the policy (I think?).

The way I read that, Colleen, is that by "rebook" they mean find someone else to take the night(s) that you are cancelling.

It doesn't make sense that they would send your deposit back if you booked another date; wouldn't they just keep it as deposit for the new date?

[OH_Homeschooler]

You made a mistake. You're busy. I'm guessing this isn't actually the first time a long-term customer has forgotten to give notice. I don't think the customer is always right, but in this case, the inn isn't right either.

I would just pay the first night's bill, apologize (briefly), and say that while you've always enjoyed your stays, the messages they sent to you were inappropriate and not the kind of customer service you've come to expect. Therefore, you will take your patronage elsewhere in the future.

And follow through. It's not worth it. It really was inappropriate of them.

[Colleen]

It's true that when a business has line of customers out the door (so to speak), they can afford to be a little less customer-friendly. I have to say, though, that this place is extremely good about remembering repeat guests. It doesn't feel like they're as popular as they are. They provide extra surprises for guests who have been there before and when you talk with them, it's clear they remember you.

[Kris]

I think the note sounds snobby, but that's just me. Even with smilies and other emoticons, written communication can be misunderstood, though. But I would be very uncomfortable going back after that.

I patronize places that appreciate my hard-earned dollars. If they don't want me, or my money, there, I don't go.

I'd go ahead and call, since it's so far away, and the place is so important to you. It's not ideal, but you would get a sense by tone of voice, etc., of where you really stand. You know what they say -- what you can come up with in your mind is usually worse than the situation really is.

I don't quite "buy" the "this is the first time" pronouncement, either.

It seems to me that such a high standard of service should include the realization that people make mistakes, and the ability to handle it more gracefully.

[Colleen]

Thanks so much for hashing this out with me. Now who wants to call the inn for me and talk it through?;) I'll let you know how it plays out!

[Volty]

I agree with most everyone and they've been quite eloquent. By all means apologize profusely, pay, take the blame, and say that you hope to continue to use their inn in the future. And if you get bad vibes from the note, don't mention it.

If they do book you again be grateful.

[Kris]

Now who wants to call the inn for me and talk it through?;)

I could do it for you. When it was over, you'd probably be refunded every penny you ever spent there -- but you wouldn't be welcome anywhere in town. :D

[StacyWithFourRugrats]

Ok, this has nothing to do with your post but I just had to comment on your 3 year old's name. I have a nephew named Kai and this is only other time I have seen it used other than with him. It was kinda "weird" at first (just an unusual name and I can't speak considering my son is named Rhys - welsh spelling of Reese) but it is soooooooooo perfect now! Love it!

[Colleen]

It doesn't make sense that they would send your deposit back if you booked another date; wouldn't they just keep it as deposit for the new date?

Aha, there goes the light bulb. Thanks!

[Colleen]

it's SOP for the places we used to go to in France. "We'll gush all over you, s'long's you do things our way." (Did I ever tell you about the place that wouldn't sell ham to my friend b/c she was going to serve it with cantaloupe? )

Hehe ~ I can imagine. One way to come to truly appreciate customer service here is to travel in Europe. Whole 'nuther ball game over there!

[Colleen]

I could do it for you. When it was over, you'd probably be refunded every penny you ever spent there -- but you wouldn't be welcome anywhere in town. :D

Well, I could do that myself.;)

[Colleen]

Ok, this has nothing to do with your post but I just had to comment on your 3 year old's name. I have a nephew named Kai and this is only other time I have seen it used other than with him. It was kinda "weird" at first (just an unusual name and I can't speak considering my son is named Rhys - welsh spelling of Reese) but it is soooooooooo perfect now! Love it!

Guess what? I considered Rhys as a potential name for Kai! I was reminded of it while I was pregnant and re-watched The Shipping News ~ in which Welsh actor Rhys Ifans has a part. Ultimately, though, it came down to Kai (I knew a Kai, whose parents were Danish, in college) or Rem. I let the operating room staff decide and they overwhelmingly went with Kai. (My second was named Mats for the first two hours of life until I asked the recovery room nurses their opinion of the name. They looked kinda hesitant and asked what the second choice was. When I said, "Per", they both smiled and said they loved it. Henceforth he's been Per.:))

[nancypants]

I would probably call and apologize for the lack of communication that resulted in the fiasco. I suppose in an instance where I really really love the place, I would prefer to eat crow and have the like me and still know that I am welcome when I go back the next time. And if it's as wonderful as you say, I know I'd want to return!

So I would call and eat crow, take all blame, offer to pay, apologize for the inconvenience and the loss it meant for them and say that you were sad to have missed the weekend that you so look forward to every year (or however often it is)... that it was a communication error between your husband and yourself and not something you'd do purposefully. So, I'm of the, even if he was less than courteous in his tone (and remember... tone can be easily misread... he maybe had an actual tone of disappointment and not anger... the fact that he offered to eat the second night makes me sort of maybe perhaps (like my commitment level?) :o think that he was just confused and feels the loss of what he felt were great customers, as well as the income it meant for him. (I guess I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, even if he was too curt.)

Again, not that the mistake y'all made really warranted his response... but if I loved the place and always wanted to feel warmly welcomed I'd go ahead and eat some big hunks of crow. Basically, I'd grovel! LOL

What a bummer. Sorry it went down like that. I hate awkward stuff like that. It tends to eat me up (and my husband lets it go all too quickly!) :rolleyes:

[Colleen]

The trouble with seeking advice here is the wide range of opinion.;) Someone earlier said I should apologize profusely and be grateful if they let us stay there again. In my heart of hearts, I am much more inclined to agree with you, though. Sending me all those papers did feel like a slam. (It is just so odd and unnecessary...) And I would like to convey to him that his note did feel out of line. It is really just a matter, I think, of how important it is to me to return to this particular establishment...

[readwithem]

See, if we all just use smilies all the time the world would be a better place.
)

I totally agree with you here Kelli! :) ;) :)

[readwithem]

Since you're bouncing :)

One thought I had is that they possibly lost more than the two nights' business - perhaps others would have stayed for the week? Or maybe not if he's always fully booked.

I read the "in 20 years" bit more in shock and awe than in anger and condescension. Consider that it's true - he really doesn't know HOW to respond :) :)

[readwithem]

I have this nagging fear that I'm going to get admonished when I call, e.g. reminded again (after being reminded in the note) how wrong it was to no show. That would make it really hard to go back. Of course, I'll not know how they'll respond until I call. I just...feel like a kid going to principal's office.:o


BUT - if their (potentially snobbish) attitude is part of the package of what you get there, I would rather know so I can plan accordingly for the next time.

[Melinda in VT]

Just some random thoughts:

First, I thought his sending the notes was a little odd too. But it occurs to me that perhaps he was pre-emptively providing evidence that they were expecting you. Your willingness to pay is not, in my experience, the norm. It's much more common for guests to argue that they should not have to pay. It's possible that he has recently had a bad experience with a no-show guest and he is bracing himself for a similar fight with you.

Second, is it possible that your husband's message did not come off as apologetic and responsibility-laden as your post here? If it came off more as "oops, our plans changed and we forgot to call, see you next year" the innkeeper might be worried that you won't be respectful of the policies in the future.

Third, no-shows are annoying to innkeepers. They might have stayed up later than they wanted to, waiting for you, before finally going to bed worried that you would arrive in the middle of the night. They might have turned away a three-night reservation because they were full. They may not have received your husband's message in time to book the room for the second night. I know you know that, but they might not know that you know. ;)

As to what to do now, I think I would call and talk to the innkeeper in person. I would apologize for the communication lapse and offer to pay for the second night if they weren't able to book your room. I wouldn't mention how his note made you feel. If you have received good service in the past, I would extend grace here.

When you book your reservation next year, I wouldn't mention this incident. I would, a week or so before you are to arrive, send an email or call just to "confirm" and let them know you are in fact coming. During your stay, don't bring up what happened this year. If you feel comfortable next year, it should be smooth sailing. If the innkeeper brings it up or makes you feel awkward, then find another place to stay in the future.

Of course, if the note makes you uncomfortable enough that you don't want to go back, that's understandable too.

[Colleen]

One thought I had is that they possibly lost more than the two nights' business - perhaps others would have stayed for the week? Or maybe not if he's always fully booked.

They have an online availability system that's always up-to-date so I know that's not the case. Other than Nov & March they tend to be full more often than not.

[Scarlett]

But then again, it may be an olive branch--"Hey, we know you're a repeat guest, so we're [gulp] gonna cut you some slack. But, you're, like, not going to do this all the time, [puppy dog look] are you?"

There you go. Picture him saying it with a puppy dog look on his face, rather than a you've been called into the principal's office look on his face. Does that help with the squishies?

:) Love this image. So perfect. Yes, I agree that the note, and especially the tone, was uncalled for. I would send payment for both nights, with a brief apology and see what happens then. You could chalk it up to the innkeeper having a bad day.

[MaryM]

I'd write a note back, apologizing for the miscommunication. Let the innkeeper know how much you adore his inn and that you can't possibly put him in a situation to take a loss because of your mistake. Send a check for both nights. Let him know that you look forward to staying at the inn in the future, especially since you were looking forward to this past weekend and ended up having to cancel.

Was his note a bit short and curt? Yes. But give him the benefit of the doubt - I'm not near the writer that I'd like to be and sometimes when I write things down they don't come across the way I intended.

Agreeing with this post completely! I would think that you want to keep the door open for future visits and presenting your side of the story and a check for both nights seems the right thing to do. Afterall, you expected this to happen. You might be surprised and they just might offer to apply that extra night to a future stay for you. I just think politeness would be the best response in this situation. I normally am the first to step up for a fight....

Mary

[Colleen]

It's good to hear from someone whose business is in this area.

It's possible that he has recently had a bad experience with a no-show guest and he is bracing himself for a similar fight with you.

Yes, that's possible, but I don't think that's the case. I do think no-shows there would be very, very unusual. While I'm surprised he included the line about "in 22 years of innkeeping", I have to admit that this situation is probably unique, to say the least.

Second, is it possible that your husband's message did not come off as apologetic and responsibility-laden as your post here? If it came off more as "oops, our plans changed and we forgot to call, see you next year" the innkeeper might be worried that you won't be respectful of the policies in the future.

Yes, this is very possible. I didn't know my husband was calling back until after the fact. Had I phoned, I wouldn't have left a message at all. I would have phoned back later so I could talk to M. directly.

Third, no-shows are annoying to innkeepers. They might have stayed up later than they wanted to, waiting for you, before finally going to bed worried that you would arrive in the middle of the night. They might have turned away a three-night reservation because they were full. They may not have received your husband's message in time to book the room for the second night. I know you know that, but they might not know that you know. ;)

Yes, I do know all that.:o I don't think we put them out a great deal as far as not showing up by "X" hour at night. This is not a place like that. First of all, they have a couple of other people hired who also manage and second, this isn't a home, with them staying up late waiting to let people in. The primary issue is that they ended up at the last minute with one room available for two nights, which for them would be very unusual. And since they're so popular, they certainly could have filled the room had we phoned in advance.

Anyway, I appreciate all your words of wisdom, Melinda, and will take them into consideration along with what others here have offered. I am hoping we can get over there in the next few months, so I do want to iron this out soon.

[Kate CA]

Did he communicate that he was truly sorry and that he would do whatever in his ability to make it right with them? Perhaps that is the issue with the inkeeper?

If we had been the inkeepers I doubt we would have been strong in our wording, but I would have been irritated internally. I do think it is incumbant upon a guest to be on top of their stay (or lack thereof). (I do realize this was a mistake--not casting blame.) :)


"It's too bad you didn't call to cancel. We turned away many people through the week who would have loved to have your room. In 22 years of innkeeping, this is the first time that returning guests didn't show up or even call. You can pay for one night and we'll take the loss on the second."

Do you think his note was appropriate? Would you call and offer to pay for the second night or just let it go?

I think he sounds put out, but in truth he was. Would I want a note like that? No, of course not, but I am not sure he is totally out of line for giving you the truth. They may truly be taking the loss. As someone below said there is a ceiling on the amount of money they take in due to only six rooms.


A credit card receipt with a "smiley"-toned note saying something to the effect of, "Sorry it didn't work out for you last weekend. If your plans fall through next time, try to give us a ring ahead of time. Look forward to seeing you again soon!" But this guy isn't really a "warm-fuzzy" type, so that was probably expecting too much.


I really think you were expecting too much from him. He is a man is most of the correspondence I receive from men in my line of work is not anywhere near warm and fuzzy. The women often are--sometimes too much. My dh writes in a much stronger manner that I do usually. Sometimes I am a little taken aback by how he writes to his coworkers, but it seems to be understood there. I would not be so strong. I think it was a mistake for you to expect his note would be kindness and forgivness. It would have been *nice* had that been the case, but I don't know that I honestly think he was totally out of line.

I know we all make mistakes, and golly I have made enough of them! But we still have to live with the consequences of them. Really it all comes down to you and your feelings about visiting this place again. If it is really that important to you then I would make every endeavor and show every grace to them no matter how irked you may be by his manner.

Warmly,
Kate

[Karenciavo]

Sounds like the Inn Nazi to me, "No room for you!."

[Kate CA]

Sounds like the Inn Nazi to me, "No room for you!."


LOL! No, I didn't mean it that way. I hope it does not come across like that! I think it is a bummer for all involved. I would be quite unhappy to have to pay for nights I didn't spend there (even though I understand the "why" behind it). :)

Warmly,
Kate

[Karenciavo]

LOL! No, I didn't mean it that way. I hope it does not come across like that! I think it is a bummer for all involved. I would be quite unhappy to have to pay for nights I didn't spend there (even though I understand the "why" behind it). :)

Warmly,
Kate

Sorry Kate, I wasn't referring to your post, but to Colleen's note from the Inn Keeper. :)

[StacyWithFourRugrats]

LOL! We like to say that we got the name Rhys from the "masturb*&^% welshman" from Notting Hill (Rhys Ifans!). That is actually where I originally got the name from (well, I have seen it before but really considered it for our son while watching Notting Hill).

[imeverywoman]

you could have been on your way up and had a dire emergency which prevented you from calling and keeping the reservation. Thankfully, it was no emergency, but rather, a slight case of cerebral flatulence :p. Miscommunication happens, but seriously, man, this is business, not personal. His note was absolutely not necessary, and out of principal, I'd pay the penalty myself. Yes, financially, it stings, but not feeling like I'm at someone else's mercy is worth the price.

I'm sorry for you dear, but I trust you had a blessed day, nonetheless. :D

[lovemyboys]

My folks live in an area where a very special inn or restaurant is a rare treasure. Sounds like that may be the case for you too.

I've only read a few posts, so perhaps you already dealt with this, but I would say that you do want to make personal contact. If there are only 6 rooms, that's just 12 "rooms" booked over a weekend. Not a whole lot when they lose 2 of those room receipts. Especially since there was, in essence, no cancellation so no opportunity to rebook the rooms.

If you've gone there just a couple times, maybe not such a big deal. But if this has been a periodic get-away for you two for a number of years, and you've got a rapport with the innkeepers, I could understand his tone.

I'd call -- particularly if this is a unique place for you -- and explain, offer to cover the 2nd night and let him know that you hope things are mended so that you can happily plan for your next visit.

Good luck.:o

[gardenschooler]

I agree that the note was probably a bit more curt than it needed to be, but if the destination is as in as high of a demand as you say, I think it's understandable how inconvenienced the innkeeper was. It could have been more polite, but the problem still needs to be resolved so that you feel at ease going there the next time.

What *I* would do, if this place were as dear to me as it is to you, and you want to be able to continue to visit without any uncomfortable feelings, is take the high road. I'd simply pay for both nights (without asking), and apologize for the inconvenience, perhaps even including a note that you will gladly pay in advance for your next stay. That way, when you go back, you can know that this mishap has already been righted by you, 100%, and there is no reason to let it interfere with your current visit.

If the innkeeper knows how to keep loyal guests, he'll give you some sort of a discount or bonus. If not, you can still know that you did all you could to right the situation.

This place sounds like a dream, and I'd hate for you to not be able to enjoy going! Please tell me that you are going for your birthday, since it wasn't possible for your anniversary!

[lovemyboys]

(Did I ever tell you about the place that wouldn't sell ham to my friend b/c she was going to serve it with cantaloupe? )


Wow. Melone e proscuitto is a summer staple in Italy. Sounds like a little mediterranean snob there!
Reminds me of the lovely Venezuelan couple who very confidently informed us that "Spain is NOT a European country." It's all in the history, huh? :rolleyes: Anyway, it's late, thanks for the laugh.

[Amy in Orlando]

I haven't read the SIX pages of responses, but if it were me, I'd send a check to pay for both nights and a note apologizings and explaining the lack of communication on your part. I'm sure he doesn't want to lose your business, but if he's only got 6 rooms, that's a pretty big loss if someone doesn't show up.

I hope you and Hans found a way to celebrate your anniversary even if you couldn't get away.

[Liz CA]

Do you think his note was appropriate? Would you call and offer to pay for the second night or just let it go? Would you feel uncomfortable about going back there, or is it just me? This is my absolute favorite getaway destination ~ nothing else holds a candle for me ~ so I want to get past the squishy feelings.

they were put out and/or disappointed after all the years to be treated with what they probably felt as blatant disregard.

I would call, apologize and explain why the hiccup happened and definitely offer to pay for the second night.
If this is your favorite place in the world, it's worth setting things right and feeling good about going back some other time. If they continue to be rather touchy, you have done everything humanly possible IMHO and don't need to dwell on it.
I have a place like that as well and I understand how uncomfortable this feels.