What do you do when you don't have time to pay the bills properly?

[HomeOnTheRanch]

Ever since DH and I have been married I've taken care of the bill paying, checkbook balancing, and tax stuff. We both were business majors (among other things) in college, so we are both quite capable. I was just the one who seemed to have more time and enjoyed doing it (really).

Over the years our financial situation has gotten more and more "complicated" with rental houses, student loans (all his), and business accounts (his). It got to the point where I was stressing out over it and had enough. I told him he was going to have to help. A few months went by with me still doing it and stressing. Finally a situation came up with student loan payments that I couldn't handle with the company because they were his loans. Finally...it is his baby now. Sigh of relief by me. Annoyance by him since, after finally being able to talk with the company, the student loan situation was my fault (I paid the same amt. every month for 4 years via EFT without looking at the coupon book. Apparently the rate went up after 4 years. oops). I accepted responsibility, but I did remind him I told him long ago that I needed help.

Ok, fine. I showed him the ropes with the online banking and my "works for me" filing system. He scoffed and said it wouldn't work for him. So, I have no idea what the current "system" is and I really don't care at this point. The bill paying stress is gone...almost.

He's been paying the bills for the last 3 months. Apparently he didn't "confirm" a set of payments last month and the bank didn't pay the bills. So far, over $150 in late fees and interest (ouch).

I DO NOT want this job back on my own. He does not want to share. Either he does it all or none.

We're wary of doing automatic transfers, but this doesn't seem to be working. He truly doesn't have time to do it all on his own. I did notice that he actually printed the payment confirmation page today (he thought it was silly that I printed/wasted paper doing it), so maybe he's starting to see a bit of wisdom in my methods.

Over the past 18 years I've bounced 2 checks (accidentally wrote from wrong acct) and had about a dozen late payments, maybe (not counting the too-low payments for the student loan).

So far over the last 3 months he has bounced 1 check (sort of, the bank paid it, but charged us a fee), and had at least 3 late payments. Is there a learning curve to this? He is an intelligent man and he seems to be embracing this new responsibility (in addition to his thousand other ones), but I'm trying to keep my mouth shut about the wasted money on the late fees, etc.

Advice?

How do you handle paying the bills in your household? I'm trying to remind myself that when we got married, there were only 3-5 bills/month and now there are over 20. Jumping in the game at this point...well, I'm trying to be understanding.
:bigear:

[Sara in AZ]

We have a way less complicated situation than yours it sounds like, no rental properties or anything. The bill paying has always been my job until the last year or so when I have had way too much going on. I was paying everything late and I hated it. What worked for us was to automate as much as we possibly could. Now there are only two bills left that don't get automatically withdrawn from the bill account. (And I still have trouble paying those two on time.) My husband is the one who keeps track of when each bill will be withdrawn and each payday he makes sure the right amount of money to cover the bills is in the bill account. This has relieved a lot of stress on my part. Good luck!

[nestof3]

I handle all of the checking for both business and personal, keep the books for the business, invoice the customers, and deposit all the checks.

So, I understand that it is time-consuming.

I made up a table in MS Word with the company we owe money to monthly on the first column, the due date on the second column, the account # on the third column (in case I ever need it), the amount to pay on the fourth column, and then 12 skinny columns for each month of the year.

For fixed amounts, I type it in (mortgage, car payment, insurance, etc). For changing amounts, I write the amount in the column with pencil, and I change it when I pay the next one.

When I pay the bill, I write a check mark in the column. This comes in handy because I can always see what bills are still due for the month. I can also, at the end of the month, see what bills haven't been paid. I realized using this method that I never received my gas bill, so I was able to pay it just in the nick of time.

[Mom2GirlsTX]

I know that at the CPA firm my dh used to work with, that was a service that they had was paying people's bills, keeping tabs on rental properties, taxes, etc. I know he was never involved with it, but I believe it was not terribly expensive (not llike having taxes done). Perhaps professional help if his learning curve doesn't come around? I would give him another couple of months, and if he still is logging up the late fees, it might actually pay him to hire it done.

[Mrs Mungo]

DH and I share the duties. We have an excel spreadsheet we made together that has all of our bills (amounts due and/or typical amounts due), the dates they are due and typical monthly income/expenses. We have a filing system and each bill has its own folder. Usually, he does it. However, because we've set up the system so well I can do it even if he's called away at a moment's notice. Of course, it has taken us almost 15 years of marriage as a military couple to get this down. I used to do it all but *he* is the spender in the family and it created too many problems. So, I made him take it over. We have a savings account at the same bank we have our checking account that also acts as overdraft protection.

[HomeOnTheRanch]

Thanks, everyone. I had another chat with him last night. I think he'll make it work, eventually. I don't think it is a matter of having a filing system, etc., but we have accounts with 4 banks. It does make it easier keep all the business stuff separate, but juggling the money back and forth and making sure he got paid so there is $$ in acct C to transfer to acct B, and what if it didn't, and this payment needs to be made before acct A can be used...argh.

Since he is the one that makes the $$ and he was the one always wanting to spend the big bucks on things, it does make sense that he sees first hand where the money goes and why he can't use $$ just because the deposit receipt from the bank says there is money in the account. :lol: Maybe after this baby is born I'll feel more up to taking over some of the responsibility and he'll be willing to share.

Originally, I offered to reconcile the bank statements if he would just pay the bills (I get such a high when it balances. I'm a to-the-penny type of gal). Nope, he wanted to do it all.

Mrs Mungo, the last line in your siggy made me smile this morning.