What was I thinking?!?!

[DB in NJ]

I'm an idiot.

Thanks to my ridiculous curiosity and google maps, I just spent a painful hour looking at images of the house I grew up in and my grandparents' house.

Why????? WHY, WHY, WHY????!!!!!!!!

Yep. I'm an idiot. :(

[Karen sn]

was the house not being taken care of?

[DB in NJ]

Both grandparents have passed away.

The house I grew up in....well, my parents are divorced, our neighbors all still live there, but none of us do. My father hasn't spoken to me in over 3 years.

Just a flood of memories, that's all. Memories that were better off left alone, I guess...

[Jennifer in MI]

Oh I'm so sorry.

[Valerie in Chicago]

I did that a year or so ago. The house that we lived in as a kid was on the market. Someone happened onto it on a real estate site, pictures of the inside, etc. I lived there from 3-8, then my father stayed there for several years after my mom left him. He was a nightmare of a father, and I finally walked away my senior year of high school and haven't looked back.

The irony? My mom left without two dimes to rub together. He refused to pay child support. She lived paycheck to paycheck for years raising my sister and me. Today? She could have written a check for the house she left. For that matter, *I* could have too. Him? He couldn't pay the electric bill for it. And he wouldn't have anyone to share it with anyway.

But I stupidly kept looking and looking at that website when it was up. I showed it to DH too, but I'm not sure that he really got it. I think he just thought that I was strange for doing it.

So my long-winded note here is really meant to say "I understand!!!!" Also, you're not stupid. Sometimes re-visiting those memories (briefly, of course) can help us to check where we are today and reassure us that we're on the right track.

Hope at least some of this made sense......................

[Sharon H in IL]

I think that sometimes our unconscious brings us these painful memories at the point where we either need to deal with something or where we're just ready to. Not that we want it, you understand, just that it's time.

I hope it becomes a learning, growth experience for you, rather than a walk down a dark path with no outlet, yk?

Blessings,