Great article on tips for *parents* in the college application process

[readwithem]

http://www.dailynewstribune.com/lifestyle/columnists/x192205006/Tips-for-parents-No-one-said-applying-to-college-was-easy

I think particularly when you've homeschooled your child it's a big challenge to let go and not live your dreams through your child. A lot of this may be common knowledge but it struck a chord in this helicopter-ish mom :)

[Gwen in VA]

Good article.

It missed one important aspect of the college decision process, though -- MONEY! The article is absolutely correct that deciding where to spend the next four years is the child's decision, not the parents', but since money doesn't grow on trees, the parents do have a fair say in the process!

We were a bit starry-eyed in the application process with our oldest, assuming that the finances would just work themselves out. She ended up going to her first-choice school, but it was hard for dh and I to tell her that she couldn't choose between the SIX schools she was accepted to (some with very generous merit aid), but only between the TWO schools that gave her full-tuition scholarships!

We are being quite a bit more hard-headed with our third, a future engineer. Even though he would be fourth-generation MIT if he went, he will not even apply -- we KNOW we can't afford it since MIT offers no merit aid (not that he would get it if it were available)! :-(

I would urge everyone to talk honestly with your kids early in the game about to what degree money will play a role in the decision process.

[readwithem]

You're right Gwen.

It's amazing how many parents have failed to have this discussion with their teens/students. We've compared the college app process to buying a house (we're currently in transition so this was fresh in our minds) - we never fall in love with a house that it becomes a "must have". And really the house that we have a contract on at the moment is a great house and seems to fit the needs of my family. But there are 8-10 (we'll use that number since I can't imagine applying to more colleges than that, wink) *other* houses that would have worked just as fine. And once we sign that contract we don't even think about those other houses, we just focus on making it our home.

Anyway, back to your thought - it's really too bad that colleges can't or won't communicate the total package at the same time they send the acceptance. I'm sure it's hard to not get your hopes up, make plans, etc. till everything falls into place. We're hoping (and praying) for as good a fit here as your dc have been able to find. :)