I need permission to stop working on Webelos stuff with DS.

[Rhonda in TX]

If you're familiar with Webelos, you'll understand what I'm talking about. If not, it will be a completely foreign language. :D

DS is a Webelos II. He will receive his Arrow of Light in February. The only thing he has left to do for that is memorizing all the Boy Scout stuff, which will not be a problem.

He has earned his East Compass Point plus one other pin. He will earn one more pin (maybe two) in the process of attending his meetings. He is close to several others, but I am TIRED of pushing this kid. Every step through Webelos has been a fight. I know it's related to his Asperger's, but that does not change the fact that I am sick of it. We are not going on to Boy Scouts for this very reason.

He is part of an over-achieving den. A lot of these kids will earn every single pin. I think that's part of the pressure I'm putting on myself to do more.

I need permission to quit the outside work and coast through the rest of the year. Please. Just tell me he's fine and to let it go.

[Sandy in Indy]

Permission granted. :-)

[Gigi]

He is part of an over-achieving den. A lot of these kids will earn every single pin. I think that's part of the pressure I'm putting on myself to do more.

I need permission to quit the outside work and coast through the rest of the year. Please. Just tell me he's fine and to let it go.

My first son received every pin...it was easy we just worked through it and he was willing to do it.

My second son is now in Webelos and he hasn't earned anything in 6 months :eek: because he could care less. My new goal for him is for him to earn the badge and the Arrow of Light. I think that is doable. He has great den leaders but with his ADHD he barely attends the meetings because the group dynamic is too much for him.

My next son will probably be done in 6 months with no help from me. :D

So stop---this is for your son not the other parents and if he is happy then you have done your job as a supportive parent. :)

[shell in SC]

you and your son need to work at your pace not the dens! If it's not working out at the pace you are doing, please slow down! This is supposed to be something that your son will benefit from as he grows, not a race to see how fast it can all be done! It would be much better for him to earn less badges and be able to remember what he did and learned for each, rather than earn them all and then not know what activities were done for what badge.

Many times when you ask a scout what he did to earn a particular badge or award, he won't know. . .it's all one big blur. . .

so slow down. . .and enjoy!

shell

[DIY-DY]

this is for your son not the other parents and if he is happy then you have done your job as a supportive parent. :)

I think this is a fantastic way to approach any endeavor like this with our children.

I'd stop, touch base with him on how he's feeling and what he'd like to do to accomplish the tasks at hand between now and Feb. And call it good. Let him end on a positive note, and build that relationship with you by adding one more sturdy brick to the foundation. kwim?

[Rhonda in TX]

Thank you!

[Rhonda in TX]

My problem is that if I didn't push him, he would never accomplish anything or go anywhere or do anything. I cannot count the times that I've pushed him and he's been glad. I also can't count the times that I've let him do nothing and he's bemoaned the fact that he didn't go or do whatever it was. Sigh... Either way, it's no fun.

[Rhonda in TX]

Meetings are hard for my DS. He often completely refuses to participate, which is very frustrating. He does have great den leaders, which is good. His leader has struggles with his own son, so he understands.

[Rhonda in TX]

You're right. I don't think DS remembers much of anything. I have to remember that the main reason we're doing this is for the interaction with the other boys, not just the awards.

[Margaret in CO]

Well, my question would be--is he doing these on TOP of hsing or as part of it? It might be overwhelming to try to do it on top of hsing. My ds kind of ran out of steam after awhile and I had to push. But, he sure was proud of that Heavy Shoulder Award. Have you seen it? A Pack somewhere (sorry, on the wrong computer) sells a patch for boys that get all of the Web pins. We've always done Scouts as part of hsing, not on top of. He's been the first boy to earn First Class, and did it in 6 months--and he's thrilled. So, I guess you can have permission if you want, but you might have along talk with him and see what he wants to get out of Scouts.

[Rhonda in TX]

What he wants to get out of it? Nothing. He has wanted to quit for months, but I haven't let him. We're too close to the end. On a good day he enjoys it, but he never initiates it.

As far as our homeschooling goes, I do try to integrate it into our day. It's more that he just doesn't want to work on it and I have too many other battles with him.

Oh, and he will not get all the Webelos pins. His swimming skills are not strong enough for Aquanut, so that's out. Plus, it is too cold to swim now, so we couldn't get it even if he wanted it.

[unsinkable]

My problem is that if I didn't push him, he would never accomplish anything or go anywhere or do anything. I cannot count the times that I've pushed him and he's been glad. I also can't count the times that I've let him do nothing and he's bemoaned the fact that he didn't go or do whatever it was. Sigh... Either way, it's no fun.

My kids are like this. My oldest was so close to finishing up so many of the Webelos pins and he just didn't want to do it. I didn't care. I know what regret feels like and I don't think kids do understand regret until it actually happens. IOW, I knew he'd regret not completing the work but he couldn't imagine that regret until it happened.

So I pushed...and he got all the pins and he was the only one in his den to earn them all.

I often wonder where the Aspergers "line" is. I read about so many kids w/it and the traits that the parents describe as Aspergers are traits my kids have.

unsinkable

[A.J. at J.A.]

So stop---this is for your son not the other parents and if he is happy then you have done your job as a supportive parent. :)

I couldn't agree more! We aren't there yet (we just have a Tiger and a Bear), but when they reach the WEBELOS level then they need to take on that responsibility. If they aren't interested, then they won't do the work and they won't earn the pin. This is a good time of life for him to realize that connection - when the stakes aren't too high.

Take a break Mom! :0)
Angela