Virginia Dawn
01-30-2008, 11:39 AM
He is a dictator wanna-be. He wants control over the entire world and every single itsy-bitsy thing in it. When he doesn't get exactly what he wants down to the minutest detail he moans, groans, wails and cries. So of course he moans, groans, wails and cries most of the day.
This is not about giving him choices. You could give him all the choices possible and he would deliberately choose the impossible.
This is not about not getting enough positive attention. He gets plenty of one-on-one mommy and daddy time, lots of hugs, kisses, and positive praise.
This is about control.
I am worn out from trying to be patient and trying not to over react.
Current example. Son wants a piece of toast. Mother puts bread in toaster. Son yells, "I wanted to do that." We have been through similar scenarios many, many (did I say MANY?) times so I restate the house rule that has become necessary to keep sanity. No do overs. Screaming and wailing commence. Mother ignores noise and butters toast when it pops. She hands one piece to older brother but puts 3yo's toast on the counter. 3yo, is seen mentally searching for something else to yell about. 3yo begins to scream, "pick me up!" Mother reminds 3yo to speak kindly and politely. 3yo wails and stamps feet while saying please. Mother reminds 3yo to speak kindly and politely and gives an example of what to say and how to say it. Repeat last 2 steps. Finally 3yo responds appropriately and is picked up. Mother hands 3yo toast. 3yo yells, "I don't want it!" and throws toast back on counter. Mother patiently acknowledges 3yo's decision and walks out of kitchen. 3yo commences to wail and scream and orders mother back in the kitchen to get his toast. Mother replies (softly) through clenched teeth that if 3yo wants the toast, he may go back into the kitchen when he chooses and get it. 3yo explodes. 3yo is now sitting on mother's bed cooling his heels.
Imagine similar occurances happening at least 3 times a day. :(
I'm at my wits end.
This is not about giving him choices. You could give him all the choices possible and he would deliberately choose the impossible.
This is not about not getting enough positive attention. He gets plenty of one-on-one mommy and daddy time, lots of hugs, kisses, and positive praise.
This is about control.
I am worn out from trying to be patient and trying not to over react.
Current example. Son wants a piece of toast. Mother puts bread in toaster. Son yells, "I wanted to do that." We have been through similar scenarios many, many (did I say MANY?) times so I restate the house rule that has become necessary to keep sanity. No do overs. Screaming and wailing commence. Mother ignores noise and butters toast when it pops. She hands one piece to older brother but puts 3yo's toast on the counter. 3yo, is seen mentally searching for something else to yell about. 3yo begins to scream, "pick me up!" Mother reminds 3yo to speak kindly and politely. 3yo wails and stamps feet while saying please. Mother reminds 3yo to speak kindly and politely and gives an example of what to say and how to say it. Repeat last 2 steps. Finally 3yo responds appropriately and is picked up. Mother hands 3yo toast. 3yo yells, "I don't want it!" and throws toast back on counter. Mother patiently acknowledges 3yo's decision and walks out of kitchen. 3yo commences to wail and scream and orders mother back in the kitchen to get his toast. Mother replies (softly) through clenched teeth that if 3yo wants the toast, he may go back into the kitchen when he chooses and get it. 3yo explodes. 3yo is now sitting on mother's bed cooling his heels.
Imagine similar occurances happening at least 3 times a day. :(
I'm at my wits end.