Need ideas for active toddler during Church

[Kanga]

Rew used to nap during Church, but he has given up his morning nap. He is now 14 months and very active. I don't feel comfortable leaving him in the nursery (small inappropriate toys that pose choking hazards, lathargic nursery workers, etc.) and I can not stay with him in the nursery because I have not been through their training program (I am not going to comment on this lest I start ranting). He is pretty good through the singing portion of the service, but after that dh and I take turns with him in the foyer. I would love to find a way to keep him busy (and hopefully quiet) during the sermon. I would appreciate any ideas you can offer.

[Brindee]

We always kept our kids with us in church. We had special "church bags" that could ONLY be used during church. There were a variety of things to keep them busy for as long as possible. It USUALLY worked! :)

Ideas of what to include: Felts, little books that have buttons to button and ribbons to tie, and Noah's ark animals in pockets that can be pulled out to put on the ark, paper, pens/pencils/crayons/markers, dolls, clay, etch-a-sketch, puzzles, picture books.....

There are other neat quiet toys that you could find that you know would be special for your toddler that you could stick in there as well.

If they started getting noisy, we'd help them put the things back in the bag, and they'd have to do without it for the rest of church service. They quickly learned to play quietly!

[Kuovonne]

The main thing that keeps my kids quiet during church is snacks, usually a small bag of cereal.

[rockermom]

Please keep the suggestions coming. DS is in the "stranger anxiety" phase and cries the entire time he is in the nursery. He just babbles during the sermon if we keep him with us. I don't think the babbling bothers the preacher, but it bothers us.

(oh, and if it helps with the suggestions... ds will be 1 on Friday... but he acts more like an 18 month old)

[Kate in Arabia]

I don't know that this is helpful, but I pretty much just didn't take my kids to the masjid at all until they were old enough to sit quietly with something to occupy them. They were usually over 2, I just started taking my dd regularly a few months ago (she was 3 in March).

I have a small bag that I take things for her to play with; several Lauri puzzles (those crepe rubber type), a few picture books, and this really cute play picnic basket my mom bought that has fruit and sandwich things, etc., all made out of cloth, similar to this:

http://www.gummylump.com/front/f_product.php?id=2872

[Kanga]

We always kept our kids with us in church. We had special "church bags" that could ONLY be used during church. There were a variety of things to keep them busy for as long as possible. It USUALLY worked! :)

Ideas of what to include: Felts, little books that have buttons to button and ribbons to tie, and Noah's ark animals in pockets that can be pulled out to put on the ark, paper, pens/pencils/crayons/markers, dolls, clay, etch-a-sketch, puzzles, picture books.....

There are other neat quiet toys that you could find that you know would be special for your toddler that you could stick in there as well.

If they started getting noisy, we'd help them put the things back in the bag, and they'd have to do without it for the rest of church service. They quickly learned to play quietly!

I think it is a great idea to have a bag that he only sees once a week. It will be far more interesting than if I pull the same old toys and books out of the diaper bag!

[Kanga]

The main thing that keeps my kids quiet during church is snacks, usually a small bag of cereal.

I have been afraid to pull out the cheerios in Church, but I am not sure why since our Church has a coffee and donut bar and many of the members bring these items into the service. I am definately going to try cheerios next week,

[Kanga]

I don't know that this is helpful, but I pretty much just didn't take my kids to the masjid at all until they were old enough to sit quietly with something to occupy them. They were usually over 2, I just started taking my dd regularly a few months ago (she was 3 in March).

I have a small bag that I take things for her to play with; several Lauri puzzles (those crepe rubber type), a few picture books, and this really cute play picnic basket my mom bought that has fruit and sandwich things, etc., all made out of cloth, similar to this:

http://www.gummylump.com/front/f_product.php?id=2872

I tried to multiquote this message and I couldn't figure out how, so I hope this make sense.

I got really spoiled with Rew's nap falling at the same time as our Church service. Since Rew has been so active lately I have thought about taking a break from Church for a while, but thought I would try to find a way to make it work first.

I completely forgot about Lauri puzzles and I have a few in the closet. Thanks for the link. I was able to find several items there to put in ds's Church bag.

[clwcain]

We took to leaving our middle son at home during Mass, and went in split shifts. I'd go early, since I usually serve that Mass, and that I'd watch him at the house while my wife went with the oldest and the youngest to the later morning Mass.

IIRC, that started around 18 months.

Coming up on 2-and-a-half, our middle boy is just now able to pay a bit of attention, but I usually end up watching him out front or outside, so I'm still going early -- I just get to go twice! :)

For us, the split shift is the best option as 1) there is no nursery at our parish and 2) we live around the corner (by choice, we bought our house because of its proximity to our parish church).

HTH

[dirty ethel rackham]

One thing that helped my active babblers in church was to hold them close and whisper in their ears during the Mass. I often would explain what was going on or just repeat things I had heard in the homily. It didn't necessarily matter if they understood it, but there is something magical about whispering. Also, I would teach my littles to play the whispering game at home so that we would practice whispering.

[Eliana]

Our family's approach:

We don't bring toys or food into services - not even when ours are tiny. We want them to be absorbing the atmosphere, learning how it all works, and... well, I guess we want to start as we mean to go on. ...and we have chosen to convey the message that daavening (praying) time is not play time or eating time or reading time - and that the place we are in is imbued with kedusha (holiness) and has its own set of behavioral codes... there are things we do not do in such a holy place.

As part of that philosophy, we always tried to step out *before* the little one was done being still and quiet - for one kid this meant being in there for about five minutes, coming out and walking around, or reading, or talking, and then going back in when he was ready to be super quiet and give kavod (honor) to the kedusha of the place and the daavening.

We found that each child built up his/her capacity for quiet stillness on his/her own timetable... and that honoring that timetable and supporting the process was what we were there for. My eldest was ready from birth - good thing we had six kids or we would have thought it was something *we'd* done! My son needed more guidance, more patience, and more bite-sized steps than some of the others...

Even when they were tiny we talked about shul and how we act there and what we are doing there - before I'd take a little one in with me, or dh would take one into the men's section with him, we'd talk about how still we were going to sit and how quiet we were going to be (well, except when it was time to sing!).

Except for our eldest, dh and I would take turns with sections of the service - Shabbos morning services run about 3 1/2 hours - at some stages dh would go for the start of services with the older kids, and I'd come later with the littlest one (usually in time for the returning of the Torah which is followed by the Rabbi's talk) the little one and I would watch the Torah being put back in the aron and sing along with those tefillos and then go downstairs and dh'd come out of the men's section, hand over the other kids and take the little one while the older kids and I went up to the balcony to hear the talk... we'd swap again after the talk and the little one and I would hang out in the entryway or in the back of the women's section for the next part of the daavening, but definitely go back in for the end part (lots of singing!).

Since we were really attuned to where each child was at, they developed strong habits about being in shul... and we were able to gradually lengthen the time in shul...

[Chris in VA]

I really appreciate the way you take your service so very seriously, and stress the holiness. I think that's lovely, Eliana. There is nothing more beautiful to me than seeing little hands in prayer, and the hush of spirit that comes when the littlest realize something "other" is happening.
Thanks for sharing this--I feel blessed by your ministry and faithfulness.