How do you handle

[Cadam]

other people asking how your kids are doing with school? I am going to see a friend next week. Her kids have struggled with math and she has taken all of her elementary kids (she's a mom of many) back to MUS Alpha. I know she is going slowly to make sure it is all solid for them. I know she is going to ask about my dd who is a young 6 and going full speed through Beta. It's not like she is doing Algebra... but she loves math. I don't want my friend to feel badly.

How do you be truthful and not seem to be bragging? I hate to go over all of dd's faults just to "make up" for her strengths kwim?

[Rebecca in VA]

is, "She's coming along." That said with a big smile and a shrug of the shoulders. That works in cases where I don't want to brag as easily as it does in situations where I don't want to admit problems.

Then I immediately launch into questions about the person I'm speaking with, and I keep the subject firmly on them. Not hard to do, because I love to find out what other people are up to. It beats talking about my boring life!

[Cee Cee]

"He really enjoys it."


Then, like the previous poster, I change the subject to something less likely to be a hot subject :)

Cee Cee

[Cadam]

duh, vague answers. I should know this, I'm a homeschooling mom! :)

[K&Rs Mom]

I like Rebecca's distraction technique! I usually talk about how much fun we're having and tell about some project we've recently done (like cave paintings last week).

I used to try to be careful not to brag, or "cover" any particular strengths with a fault or complaint. But then I realized that my kids hear this, and I never want them to feel they have to apologize for their success. That was one of the things I hated about outschool, was having to pretend I didn't know stuff, so I wouldn't be a nerd. That was actually one of our reasons for homeschooling, so once I realized I was doing it I have really been more careful of my words. I do brag to grandma or anyone else who I know will be glad to hear it.

[Debra in CO]

Like the others, I try to give a fairly vague answer, especially when I know someone is struggling. But if it is a really good friend, I'll sometimes get a little closer to the truth.

I have one son who is doing algebra (5th grade) and another son who is struggling with reading, and is a bit behind in math (3rd grade). Even when I am totally stressed about how I'm failing with my 3rd grader, I love hearing about the successes of my good friends with their kids. Because I hear about their struggles too, you know? So I try to do the same... I hate when I feel like people are walking on eggshells around me.

If this is "just" a friend though, I think I'd stick with one of the above answers though... and if she does talk about how Alpha is going, *I* would be commenting on how much I admire her for working so hard to give her kids such a great foundation.

Debra
Mom of five, ages 1-10

[angela in ohio]

I agree; be vague. Most people like to talk about their own dc, so asking a million questions about her dc should distract her sufficiently.