Why did the chicken cross the road?

[JudoMom]

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me...

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra... #R&^*^(!.... Reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

:smilielol5:

[Tracey in TX]

ROFLMBO!!!!! That is truly a classic:lol::lol::lol:

Tracey in TX: Time to roast that chicken 350°F to prove who's really in charge.

[Marie in Oh]

:rofl::rofl::rofl: That was hilarious!

[rockermom]

I finished reading and am wishing for more!! :lol::lol:

[ticklbee]

Very, very funny! Thanks for sharing it.

:lol::lol::lol:

[AussieInWyoming]

You made me cry.......with laughter!!:lol::lol::lol:

thanks for sharing,
Elaine

[sclisa]

http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Laughing/lol-003.gif http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Laughing/lol-022.gif

Lisa

[Dayle in Guatemala]

:lol::lol::lol::rofl::hurray:Super funny!

[beansprouts]

Now all we need is a response from SWB...

[crazycoffeechic]

:lol::lol::lol:That was good!!

[Phred]

PEOPLE MAGAZINE: We have a picture of the chicken crossing the road to see his friend Gregory Peck.

(ducking)

[sclisa]

This chicken was homeschooled using TWTM. It used it's superior mathematical and logical skills to determine the best path to take when crossing the road. It read the signposts (which were written in Latin) to be sure it had found the precise spot from which to commence crossing. The chicken's purpose was to reach a well-known and revered institute of higher learning because it was fortunate enough to receive a full academic scholarship. The chicken was quoted as saying, "Bawk! Thank you SWB. I couldn't have crossed the road without you. Bawk!"

Lisa

[Chris in VA]

Oh jUdo, you just handed me a Depends moment...
Excuse me while I hit the potty.

:lol:

[Jami]

Very funny!

I'm trying to think of a Steve Jobs one since there's a Gates one. Dh says:

STEVE JOBS: "It's the best chicken we've ever sent across the road. We're really proud of this."

[nancypants]

PEOPLE MAGAZINE: We have a picture of the chicken crossing the road to see his friend Gregory Peck.

(ducking)

Ducking? Don't you mean CHICKENING (out)? ;)

[Tammyla]

:lol::auto::lol:

[CookieMonster]

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

:lol:

[Rich with Kids]

Now all we need is a response from SWB...

I bet it will involve a map of the road and suggested reading. Possibly a recipe and a narration activity.

[battlemaiden]

This made my day....and my older boys are now repeating their favorites! I think the Bill Gates, Al Gore, and Dick Cheney are their favorites.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Jo

[Pencil Pusher]

Oh my goodness. That is awesome!!

[Jenny in Atl]

I bet it will involve a map of the road and suggested reading. Possibly a recipe and a narration activity.


Or possibly a bit of copy work.. penmanship!
:lol:

[ncmomo3]

BRAVO!!!!

[gandpsmommy]

That was too, too funny! I loved it.

[H.S. Burrow]

:smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5:

[PrairieAir]

:lol: This was my favorite, too:
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
:smilielol5:

JOHN STEINBECK:
Now, there are many millions in their sects and coops who feel the order, ‘Cross thou,’ and throw their weight into obedience. And there are millions more who feel predestination in ‘Thou shalt cross.’ Nothing they may do can interfere with what will be. But ‘Thou mayest cross’! Why, that makes a chicken great, that gives him stature with the gods, for in his weakness and his filth and his pecking of his brother he has still the great choice. He can choose his course and walk it through and win.”

Timshel, little chicken!

[Unicorn]

Thanks, I needed that! :lol:

[PrairieAir]

ROBERT FROST:

Two sides on a road once lay,
And being one chicken, long I stood
Sorry I could not on both of them stay
I looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then crossed to the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two sides on a road once stood, and I
I crossed to the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Eh, that's pushing it, isn't it?:001_huh:

[KidsHappen]

:lol: :rofl: :thumbup1:

[Brindee]

I bet it will involve a map of the road and suggested reading. Possibly a recipe and a narration activity.
There had to be some logic involved, right? Was the chicken to the logic stage, though?

[OnTheBrink]

STEVE JOBS: "It's the best chicken we've ever sent across the road. We're really proud of this."

"Not only will iChicken cross the road, she'll hold 500,000 iTunes, access the internet from any side of the road (should she decide to cross back), and create Keynotes from scratch." :lol:

[Doran]

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.




Yes, indeedy! :lol: Thanks, JudoMom. So funny!!!

How about these?

CHURCHILL: Smart bird. After all, if you are going through hell, keep going until you get to the other side."

NIXON: Well, he screwed it up real good, didn't he?

CHICKEN: I only did it to prove to the possum that it could be done!


:D

[missplacedalaskan]

FUNNY!

[PrairieAir]

Neil Armstrong:
That's one small step for chicken; one giant leap for chickenkind.

[PrairieAir]

Rene Descartes:
The chicken crosses, therefore he is.

[nancypants]

Napolean Dynamite: Whatever. The real question is does she have talons?

Mr. Darcy: Because she knows that her figure appears to best advantage when walking across the street.

Frodo Baggins: To try to steer me away from Mount Doom. To try to steal the ring! But it's MY burden to carry! Mine!! Get away from me fowl chicken!

[Donovans4]

now, that was just hilarious!!! I can't wait to send it to DH!

LauraD in MN