Dd's dance teacher said something yesterday...what does she mean?

[tess in the burbs]

I was asking about Dd and dance for next year. Right now she isn't sure she wants to dance and is waiting to sign up. but I asked how she did this year and the teacher said:

She isn't ready for the hour and half class. Is she in school? (I said we homeschool) Oh, well is this her first all girl type thing? (me giving funny look...after all public school kids aren't all girl or boy classes) She could do the same class again in the fall. Will you continue homeschooling?



At this point I just smiled and said yes, and changed the subject. My son is taking classes from her this summer and so I asked her to introduce her son to him. I want to try and like this person but I thought her question was weird...

I mean, how many 4 year olds have exclusive classes with only their sex? I mean soccer is co-ed. Church is co-ed. She has played with girls in the past with no boys around and is fine.

Anyone have any insight? I was shocked she said Dd wasn't ready for the harder class since my Dd knew the entire routine. I know she didn't like being told where to sit in class. (my Dd wanted to sit by one girl in particular...but don't all girls do that when they have a friend?)

I appreciate your thoughts...I thought the whole thing was weird and I wasn't sure what she was trying to say.

[rockermom]

I was asking about Dd and dance for next year. Right now she isn't sure she wants to dance and is waiting to sign up. but I asked how she did this year and the teacher said:

She isn't ready for the hour and half class. Is she in school? (I said we homeschool) Oh, well is this her first all girl type thing? (me giving funny look...after all public school kids aren't all girl or boy classes) She could do the same class again in the fall. Will you continue homeschooling?



At this point I just smiled and said yes, and changed the subject. My son is taking classes from her this summer and so I asked her to introduce her son to him. I want to try and like this person but I thought her question was weird...

I mean, how many 4 year olds have exclusive classes with only their sex? I mean soccer is co-ed. Church is co-ed. She has played with girls in the past with no boys around and is fine.

Anyone have any insight? I was shocked she said Dd wasn't ready for the harder class since my Dd knew the entire routine. I know she didn't like being told where to sit in class. (my Dd wanted to sit by one girl in particular...but don't all girls do that when they have a friend?)

I appreciate your thoughts...I thought the whole thing was weird and I wasn't sure what she was trying to say.

Sounds weird to me. I might ask in what way is she not ready so that I could see if it's an area worth working on. I've seen a lot of instructor/coach prejudice for many reasons, so it may not be worth worrying about.

[kaylk in tx]

management type issues in group settings. things like sitting where she's supposed to, not getting up and wandering around, staying in line, looking at the teacher when she's talking, stuff like that which she would have (maybe) learned were she in a preschool setting. (note -- i have a 6yo who is AWFUL at stuff like that!)

or with the all girls remark, maybe she's having trouble handling some of the girly stuff (attitudes, clique-y behavior, etc. that some girls, even 4yos do)

and an hour and a half seems like a long class for such little kids. i'd just stick with the same class!

[Tracey in TX]

I was asking about Dd and dance for next year. Right now she isn't sure she wants to dance and is waiting to sign up. but I asked how she did this year and the teacher said:

She isn't ready for the hour and half class. Is she in school? (I said we homeschool) Oh, well is this her first all girl type thing? (me giving funny look...after all public school kids aren't all girl or boy classes) She could do the same class again in the fall. Will you continue homeschooling?



At this point I just smiled and said yes, and changed the subject. My son is taking classes from her this summer and so I asked her to introduce her son to him. I want to try and like this person but I thought her question was weird...

I mean, how many 4 year olds have exclusive classes with only their sex? I mean soccer is co-ed. Church is co-ed. She has played with girls in the past with no boys around and is fine.

Anyone have any insight? I was shocked she said Dd wasn't ready for the harder class since my Dd knew the entire routine. I know she didn't like being told where to sit in class. (my Dd wanted to sit by one girl in particular...but don't all girls do that when they have a friend?)

I appreciate your thoughts...I thought the whole thing was weird and I wasn't sure what she was trying to say.

I perceived this comment differently. Sometimes all girl environments are different than coed activities. DD might not like being with all girls or accept the weird hierarchy thing that begins at such an early age. It really doesn't sound negative to me. DD might not be ready for 90 minutes of structured dance despite knowing the routine. It's best not to force her--especially if she doesn't "get" the girl group mentality. That's my take. Talk further to the teacher as she didn't really convey what she needed to in order to have you understand.

fwiw, DDs dance instructor told me certain types of girls enroll into specific types of dance (typically). Shy girls take ballet whereas more vivacious girls do tap,jazz, and theatre in her experience. Maybe DD would be happier in another type of class?

[Michelle in TX]

If this particular class she was in takes place during typical school hours then if whe went to ps next year she could not particpate in the class. That's one idea. I cannot imagine any 4-5 year old handling an hour and a half dance class so that class for next year wouldn't even be a consideration for me. My daughter when she was 4 started dance class and she didn't always like doing what the teacher wanted and I think that may be somewhat due to not having been in a structured teacher led class before. That is normal and may be what the teacher was referring to. I do think institutionalized school aged kids on the average follow directions well since they have been trained in that way from an early age. I don't think that our hs kids learning this later is bad it's just what it is. Also these ps kids may have a longer attention span again because they've been trained that way sooner. The fact that we hs is a blessing in my opinion in this particular area of childhood development. Our children are allowed to be a little more free spirited and enjoy life. So I wouldn't get upset by her comments but just understand that *perhaps* (as I don't know what your daughter is like but I'm speaking more from my exp. with my own dd) your dd is not as focused as her dance classmates. The following year of dance for my dd I signed her up for just a 45 min. ballet class rather than the hour tap/ballet class. She hated it and was so bored that I had to switch her back to the one hour tap/ballet combo class. She just couldn't handle only doing one thing for that long. Anyways, I HTHs a little. I don't know what to think about the first all girl thing at all. Blessings!

[Tracey in TX]

If this particular class she was in takes place during typical school hours then if whe went to ps next year she could not particpate in the class. That's one idea. I cannot imagine any 4-5 year old handling an hour and a half dance class so that class for next year wouldn't even be a consideration for me. My daughter when she was 4 started dance class and she didn't always like doing what the teacher wanted and I think that may be somewhat due to not having been in a structured teacher led class before. That is normal and may be what the teacher was referring to. I do think institutionalized school aged kids on the average follow directions well since they have been trained in that way from an early age. I don't think that our hs kids learning this later is bad it's just what it is. Also these ps kids may have a longer attention span again because they've been trained that way sooner. The fact that we hs is a blessing in my opinion in this particular area of childhood development. Our children are allowed to be a little more free spirited and enjoy life. So I wouldn't get upset by her comments but just understand that *perhaps* (as I don't know what your daughter is like but I'm speaking more from my exp. with my own dd) your dd is not as focused as her dance classmates. The following year of dance for my dd I signed her up for just a 45 min. ballet class rather than the hour tap/ballet class. She hated it and was so bored that I had to switch her back to the one hour tap/ballet combo class. She just couldn't handle only doing one thing for that long. Anyways, I HTHs a little. I don't know what to think about the first all girl thing at all. Blessings!
Those are good points. Our gymnasts began 90 minute classes at 4y/o, but they were the youngest in the class. Even some 6y/o had a difficult time focusing for that long. It's a long time even with multiple activities and there is no break per se to mentally readjust and prepare for next routine.

[tess in the burbs]

the all girl thing also bringing about the hierarchy and cliques.

my Dd also goes to Awana's and is usually sitting next to the leaders, never reported to me to be a trouble maker(and many weeks I came in to find the whole class in time out b/c of some other kids behavior...luckily dd was never part of it). That is 2 hours long...but they are switching things up.

the class she did this year is 45 minutes ballet, tap, acrobatics. so 15 minutes each.

but yes, I see the comment about her not being ready now more about ability to focus and listen. this wasn't her favorite person in the world so I suspect she wasn't listening as well as she can when she likes someone ;-)

well for now I am encouraging her to try soccer in the fall and promise to do dance another year if she still wants to...

thanks ladies. I sometimes don't take things the right way and appreciate your opinions.

[beansprouts]

management type issues in group settings. things like sitting where she's supposed to, not getting up and wandering around, staying in line, looking at the teacher when she's talking, stuff like that which she would have (maybe) learned were she in a preschool setting. (note -- i have a 6yo who is AWFUL at stuff like that!)

...and an hour and a half seems like a long class for such little kids.

These are normal 4 year old maturity issues no matter how the child is schooled. I was also thinking a 90 minute class may be long, but really it depends on the child, their interest level in the subject and their stamina for sustained physical activity for this length of time.

[kaylk in tx]

These are normal 4 year old maturity issues no matter how the child is schooled. I was also thinking a 90 minute class may be long, but really it depends on the child, their interest level in the subject and their stamina for sustained physical activity for this length of time.

Oh, i totally agree that these issues are common among 4yos. i just think that kids who spend hours each day in structured environments will do better in structured activities! just like i would be better at latin if i actually opened that darn henle book consistently! :D

[LG Gone Wild]

teacher said:

She isn't ready for the hour and half class. Is she in school? (I said we homeschool) Oh, well is this her first all girl type thing? (me giving funny look...after all public school kids aren't all girl or boy classes) She could do the same class again in the fall. Will you continue homeschooling?



At this point I just smiled and said yes, and changed the subject. My son is taking classes from her this summer and so I asked her to introduce her son to him. I want to try and like this person but I thought her question was weird...

I mean, how many 4 year olds have exclusive classes with only their sex? I mean soccer is co-ed. Church is co-ed. She has played with girls in the past with no boys around and is fine.

Anyone have any insight? I was shocked she said Dd wasn't ready for the harder class since my Dd knew the entire routine. I know she didn't like being told where to sit in class. (my Dd wanted to sit by one girl in particular...but don't all girls do that when they have a friend?)

I appreciate your thoughts...I thought the whole thing was weird and I wasn't sure what she was trying to say.

My impression of the teacher is that she is basically prejudiced and ignorant of homeschooling and homeschoolers. Just ignore her and carry on carrying on.;) Her ideas might change after knowing your family for awhile or not. No matter.

An hour and a half sounds like alot to ask of a 4yo to behave in a structured setting. So, I wouldn't do it just because of her youth. And you are right about girls wanting to stand/sit next to a particular girl. You can't tell me that your dd isn't the only girl who has balked at being told to stay in place or whatever. :)

Sorry, this whole thing just seems silly to me. In your shoes, my face would have had the expression, "I am not impressed with your stupid notions about 4yos." :tongue_smilie:

[Tracey in TX]

My impression of the teacher is that she is basically prejudiced and ignorant of homeschooling and homeschoolers. Just ignore her and carry on carrying on.;) Her ideas might change after knowing your family for awhile or not. No matter.

An hour and a half sounds like alot to ask of a 4yo to behave in a structured setting. So, I wouldn't do it just because of her youth. And you are right about girls wanting to stand/sit next to a particular girl. You can't tell me that your dd isn't the only girl who has balked at being told to stay in place or whatever. :)

Sorry, this whole thing just seems silly to me. In your shoes, my face would have had the expression, "I am not impressed with your stupid notions about 4yos." :tongue_smilie:
Be careful to assume the teacher doesn't understand homeschoolers. The reason I say this is that many dance companies here have girls who are hs'ed, so it might be poor verbal communication rather than ignorance (hopefully).

[LG Gone Wild]

Be careful to assume the teacher doesn't understand homeschoolers. The reason I say this is that many dance companies here have girls who are hs'ed, so it might be poor verbal communication rather than ignorance (hopefully).


But based on what the OP was, I really doubt it. :001_smile:

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

This year, our studio "skipped" dd6 one level, so she went in with the 7-9 year old group for separate tap and ballet classes. Typically, a 6 year old would still be in the 1 hr. tap/ballet combo classes. So I would not sweat it at all that your dd was not asked to move into a higher level class at this age. 99% of the kids at our studio attend public school and most of those 6 year olds could not handle my daughter's class.

The ability to pay attention, follow directions, sit still for an hour, etc, has little to do with homeschooling vs. public IMO and a lot to do with the individual kid. A 4 year old not ready for a 90 min class is well within the range of normal in dance or any area.

The jump from those beginner classes to higher level classes can be quite a jump, too. Our studio does leveling within the groups, so you might have a 3rd year tap/ballet combo class and a 3rd year high tap/ballet combo class. Those girls would be 5-7 years old- the ones in the high class most are likely 6-7 and just about ready to move up.

If you think your dd needs to be challenged more dance-wise but might not be ready for more class structure yet, you might consider signing her up for an additional type of dance in addition to her core classes, such as jazz.

[JennifersLost]

When I read what you wrote the first time it sounded like an anti-homeschool comment.

Then I read what AGE your daughter is and I "heard" it a completely different way. I think she meant for real that your daughter is too young for the longer class. When she asked, "Is she in school?" She was asking if your dd was already in Kindergarten - in other words, is she on the tail end of the group that would have been allowed to be in kindergarten this year. It sounds to me like your dd is younger than that and if you weren't homeschooling, you wouldn't consider her "school-aged", either - does that make sense?

The teacher's questions were to determine whether there was some special reason your very young daughter would "belong" in the older class. Our dance classes are also set up this way - if a girl starts out at four, she'll be in the first class for several years most likely because she just isn't physically old enough to handle the older (longer, harder) class.

I wouldn't take it personally at all. I think you just misread her comments. And then she misunderstood yours because you were thinking from two completely different viewpoints.