Talk to me about ADHD meds

[Cadam]

My dh is against meds for dd at the moment but I want to have a clue when I go to talk to the dr. next month. On days like today I think one of us is going to have to be on medication! We may have to give it a try soon but I know many people are adamantly against it. I would like to hear your experience with different meds if anyone has used them. Which ones should I educate myself about so I am ready for this conversation with the dr?

She gets so frustrated with herself that I think we are either headed for medication or ps. If you had to choose between medicating a child or sending her to a ps WWYD? I love this kid and I want us to have a good relationship but her behavior may drive me over the edge. The thing is, we have made so much progress! Maybe it will get better when she gets more OT?

[mindytom121]

My 8yr old dd was diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago and out of desperation we decided to try medication. From Sept. to Dec. we had been working on letter sounds and had to start over every day. After we tried the medication she learned her letter sounds in 2 weeks and said "Mom I'm not dumb, I can learn!" I never realized how much the ADHD affected her and how she felt about her inability to be or feel "normal" like most kids. I am amazed at what the meds did for her self esteem and her ability to learn. First we tried Metadate because she doesn't swallow pills yet and it can be sprinkled on food such as applesauce or pudding or yogurt. It is harsh on the stomach though or maybe she was very sensitive to it, but she lost 20lbs so we tried something different. Now she is on Focalin XR 15 mg which is a fairly high dose for that medication but it is the dose she needs in order to bring her mind and body under control so that she can be successful in every day. Some days I worry and begin to freak out about the meds and wonder if I am doing the right thing (especially when I read about people who don't use them), but I have a good friend who always brings me back to the right perspective. She says "If your daughter had diabetes or suffered from any disease you would make sure she got the help and medication she needed to help her survive. So that is what you are doing now--look at what a positive difference it makes in Holly's everyday life." I hope this helps.

Mindy Tom
mom to 6 daughters

[Ottakee]

VERY positive results with medication here.

Straight Talk About Psychiatric Medication and Kids by Timothy Wilens is very good. Not sure if he has a recent edition or not.

Just a caution, if I remember right, your dd has some mood issues as well. If so, make SURE SURE SURE that they evaluate for mood disorders FIRST and then ADD/ADHD. They can go together but IF there is a mood disorder, that must be addressed first, before the ADD/ADHD.

Both of my girls have mood issues that are being treated with medication and they are also on Dexedrine for the ADD/ADHD. It really helps but we did need to treat the mood stuff first.

[Dani n Monies Mom]

My ADD-Inattentive dd12 has been on meds for a year now. I've gotten the same reaction as Mindy Tom. DD felt better knowing that it wasn't HER but the ADD that imposes difficulties on her. She is much more confident, and I haven't heard the "I'm stupid" comments this year. She's even begun to take ownership of schooling this year. Maturity has made a huge difference as well. She also sees, through her own experimentation, that she CAN do the work without the meds and perform just as well, it just takes A LOT of work and it's hard to maintain. So she respects the meds the way she respects a pair of glasses. They just help her to focus what's already there.

If it helps, our doctor, who advocates meds and/or natural supplements, explained that an ADDer is like a computer running at 100% capacity at all times. NO computer does this without slowing down and burning out. That's what an ADDer has to do just to function at a "normal" level. So they burn out, wonder why they could do it yesterday and not today and start thinking they are lazy or stupid. They're really just exhausted. My dd12 has taught me a lot this year in watching her sincere efforts with and without the meds. She's much more relaxed and less stressed with the meds. And I must emphasize that it DOES NOT change her personality. If it does, your dosage is too high, or perhaps the wrong med.

HTH,
Ava

[elizam]

My ds is older but I think I knew all along that he probably had ADHD. I just didn't want to deal with it in the PS system. He came home 2-6th and it was rough but he did better than he does in PS. He is in ninth grade now, went back in 7th.

If I had to choose between medicating and PS, I'd choose medicating, hands down! I think of how many days of frustration we had and how bad I felt as a mom and homeschool mom at that! Most homeschoolers seem (JMHO) to believe if we just spanked more, or had more rigid schedules, etc. that there wouldn't be any such thing as ADHD. But I don't believe that anymore, after years of pain and agony trying to do better with my ds!

Putting him in PS just axacerbated the problems and made it almost necessary to medicate. Otherwise he wouldn't learn a darn thing and he'd be on everyone's nerves all the darn time.

Sigh...

The meds are VERY hard on his stomach till he gets used to one. He is on his third one, trying to adjust to it. Focalin XR seems to be the best of the 3 for us.

[skissugar]

we have done adderall 2x daily at age 4/5 that made our ds very aggressive.. then we did the feingold diet for a while but ds was in public school and it was hard to keep up with it, a toddler and a husband who was in and out alot (military).. so we went back on meds concerta .. it has worked okay for him... we started at 18mg and are now at 36mg with the idea we might have to up it soon. we are considering dropping it and going back to the diet since we homeschool now. He has no issues with weight loss.. he eats like a normal growing boy, but you can tell every morning as he is bouncing off the walls its not in his system.. So every morning he gets to jump on the trampoline to get the pent up energy out from the night so i can fix breakfast lol..

[Cadam]

how bad I felt as a mom and homeschool mom at that! Most homeschoolers seem (JMHO) to believe if we just spanked more, or had more rigid schedules, etc. that there wouldn't be any such thing as ADHD. But I don't believe that anymore, after years of pain and agony trying to do better with my ds!


Most days I just feel like a terrible mom and all of the homeschoolers we know have these sweet, helpful , kind children. I have heard from a few people that we just need to be more consistent or "firm" exc. Part of me understands that they have no idea what they are talking about.... but mostly it just makes me feel like I am a terrible mother. I feel like I am on the defensive a lot, like I need to always explain her behavior.

[ClassicMom]

our son and while I didn't want to do it, it made the world of difference.
Our son is ADHD and on the Autistic Spectrum. The ADHD was diagnosed first. I kept saying what you said " one of us has to be medicated" and I really wasn't kidding. The entire household revolved around him. Normal punishments wouldn't work because he was unable to control himself.
He is on Aderall. It worked for awhile but the meltdowns were never controlled. Once he was diagnosed, they were able to put him on Risperdal (sp?). The combination has changed his life. He sleeps, he is able to focus, his speech has improved, the meltdowns have decreased and he potty trained the day after he put him on it.

I think every family must do what is right for THEIR family and there really isn't a right or wrong answer. It depends on the child, the diagnosis and what the doctors believe what is right with your input.

My main concerns are having a 5yo on such strong meds while his brain is still developing, but he was unable to function barely at all without meds, so for our family, it was the right choice.

I wish you the best of luck. This is a really tough decision.

[True Blue]

Hi Christina, my 9 yos was just diagnosed with ADHD. We've struggled all year with him not able to focus, retain, or understand schoolwork. I thought that working day after day with my boy that eventually it would all click and he'd developmentally be ready. I didn't believe in ADHD and felt that kids were overdiagnosed and over medicated. Then my son's focus and retention really went downhill and he started having anxiety and poor self esteem.

Being diagnosed with ADHD and being on Focalin XR has been wonderful for us. From day one he started walking, not running everywhere. He asks for more schoolwork and finds school easy and fun now. I did not want him on medication at first but when ADHD was explained to me I decided to let him try it. I'm so thankful for the medicine.

Keep in mind that you can try medicine on a trial basis. You don't have to keep doing it. Also, you can choose if you only want 4-6 hours or 10-12 hours. We chose the longer lasting because it was impacting my son's entire life. I hope this helps. Tell your dh we were skeptics, too.

[Michelle T]

DS is currently on Ritalin LA, 40 mg per day. For the first time, he can actually focus enough to learn, at least most days! Prior to this, he could not pay attention long enough to listen to one paragraph read aloud, then tell me what I had just read.

He is still just as funny, creative, and lively as ever, none of that "zombie child" that so many people seem to assume meds create. The only problem we are having is his appetite does go way down on meds, so I have to really pressure him to eat. He has lost 11 pounds so far. I've started doing weekends med free, so he eats well those two days.

My guy also has quite severe LD's, mainly in the area of visual/spatial processing, and fine motor control.

I also have him take a multi vitamin and a magnesium/calcium supplement each day. Used to give him fish oil, but he made such an incredible fuss, I finally gave up!
Michelle T

[swellmomma]

I used to be very much against meds, but when my son had to be admitted for 2 weeks into the children's mental health ward I finally conceeded that he needed them. He has been on ritalin for almost 4 years now. He is still on a relatively low dose, thanks to homeschooling. We just increased it last week because due to his growth spurt it was like we were back to square one. The meds do wonders for him and truely let him shine as the boy he is meant to be, rather than be an out of control mess. The meds have made him a normal boy, not the zombied child you hear of like mentioned above. Instead now he can focus not only on schoolwork, but even when out playing on what his friends are saying/doing, or his coaches at baseball etc. I get him weighed every 3 months and have a full physical done at the same time to ensure we are not having side effects, but still have no issues. He eats breakfast, then gets his am dose, then he eats lunch and gets his pm dose. On rare occasions, such as a baseball tournament where he has been extremely active all day and still has an evening game or 2 I will give him a half dose after supper to make sure he is focused enough to be safe and such but not too much of it kwim. He has never faced a weight loss, has continued to gain in fact, recently hitting a big growth spurt.

My daughter on the other hand is not on meds. For both her and her brother I also give them omega supplements and melatonin and for her adhd that seems to be enough to keep it under wraps. Her's though does not present the same way as his.

For my son he has no impulse control and is very dangerous to himself and others as well as agressive without the meds, she just has focus problems so the omega's and melatonin help that enough.

[Jennefer@SSA]

Most days I just feel like a terrible mom and all of the homeschoolers we know have these sweet, helpful , kind children. I have heard from a few people that we just need to be more consistent or "firm" exc. Part of me understands that they have no idea what they are talking about.... but mostly it just makes me feel like I am a terrible mother. I feel like I am on the defensive a lot, like I need to always explain her behavior.

:iagree: Unfortunately all too often this is me, too. ((((((hugs for you!))))))

[clane]

Putting him in PS just axacerbated the problems and made it almost necessary to medicate. Otherwise he wouldn't learn a darn thing and he'd be on everyone's nerves all the darn time.



We brought DS home to get him off the meds. For us, it was a game of "try this med and then use this one for the rebound effects of the first." Three years of that got really tedious for all of us. We have out struggles, but home without meds works best here.

Best wishes on finding out what works for your DS and you.